A fly stuck in a spider's web gives a buzzing distress call
Too entangled for to fly free and too powerless for to crawl
Unto a safer surface for it no get away
The sleeky black house spider rushes forth and grabs it's prey.

It can't escape the spider's fangs no matter how it try
Perhaps it is a natural death for the common blow fly
Many of it's kind have a more painful end they linger for a day
After inhaling the poison fumes when hit by the fly spray.

For the hungry spider a nice meal it's appetite to satisfy
It may have to wait another day or two for to catch another fly
Of the flies that fly into it's web perhaps two out of three
Seem to cheat death in the nick of time by somehow struggling free.

The fly cannot escape the spider's grasp today the hunter eat
And to it's taste buds a sleek blow fly makes for a tasty treat
The laws of Nature apply to all of life even to you and I
And for the spider for to live the blow fly had to die.

How do I begin this crazy tale?   
Because each time my thought's' reassembled I get pale.
Here is a situation I can't bear with grace
But glory be to God I'm in a quiet place.

When this guy and  I met,
I knew there was no rooms of gossip to let,
He was almost everything I ever wanted in a man,
Still, he can't be compared to my handsome Dan
Who left me gasping for breath with a silly fan.
Life with my neophyte love was great,
An appointment wit him I wouldn't be late.
I could get there and keep smiling like a fool,
He wouldn't know about my nervousness so we'll get through.

Moments quantified in decades rushed in on us,
Yet in reality we were only months old and so rust.
Problems splashed in like a mighty tidal wave,
That our only solitude was our emotional cave.
One night I woke up so tired and sick,
I called him and he wanted a fight to pick.
 I said "Life couldn't be all sleeky and silk",
He said "Yes,  you aint so creamy as milk"
My temper flared and my mouth raced.
He said "Your voice with me should never be raised",
My heart beat quickened, I was so amazed.
And gently and arrogantly, the receiver was replaced.
I held my own receiver in hand, with mouth gaped,
Eyes bulging out as if I would be *****.
Recalling that night, my emotions I thought I faked,
But I made up my mind to show him I was fully baked.

The morning came with dew, yet at me it snarled,
I've got no option so at it too I drawled.
I dabbed my make up on with red on my eye brow,
And to what gave me my sober reflection, a bow.
I stepped out of my house located in a ghetto,
And the only noise heard was from my stiletto,
People passing by thought I was off to a show,
But my pouting lips adorned in red said it was a row.

Got a good cab and off I went.
Reached my destination and hopped out.
The driver expected his money but I aint got honey,
So I looked at him with nose wrinkled and funny.
He hurled abuses at me before he sped off,
I knew better than to waste my time on him.
I reached my guy's room and kicked the door with a rim,
He came out angry as if he wanted to sing a war hymn.

I bounced into d room with ******* galloping,
Checking the room till i found her groping.
She hurriedly dressed up and made for d door.
I stopped her and told her "You are a sorry *****".
The following between us ensued.
Him: For doing this i could get you sued.
Me: oh come on, I'm trying not to be rude.
Him: What just happened tells you I'm a dude.
Me: So that explains seeing a girl in your bed ****?
My temper rose and fell while he squirmed,
My trust and love in my face was tossed.
I told him he was ***** and dingy,
He said my love with him has been very stingy.
My resolve broke and reminded him how we met,

He said " I don't care so go to hell",
I knew i'd see him there ringing the bell.
I pushed him so hard dat lanky him fell.
He managed a subtle laugh as he was burning.
I got scared and eventually tried running.
I knew it was the last episode of our affair,
Even though he hasn't been so very fair.
" I thought you were going to be the  man I'll marry,
but you'll make me go singly to the party.
People said to me our love will indeed tarry,
and now that it has ,i aint so happy".
When he met me months later,it was for vendetta,
but I thought of him as being in a state so mental.
Yet he was ready for a show or drama
But he said "Hey ******! Your son lives with your grandma".
I broke down and wept feeling dizzy,
For I kept that one thing to him a secret.
If I had been open so far, we would have had a purpose,
But Dan's coming to take his child and propose!

This is the fourth time it's happened this winter
The fire is sparking
("Put on another log to dull the flames")
The wind, whipping up chaos outside, conspires with the moon
to plaster open our eyes, and
tangoes with the red of the streetlight to foreground the terror, the dramatic pull to this scene like the beginning of a barfight.
But all you notice is the snow.

Captivating Slush, like the wondrous stupid glow of children's television
("Close the door quickly, it's below zero outside!")
My chest wakes up to the sleeky bitterness of it, gentle but rousing,
like the critique of a crush taunting the back of your neck, but in reverse.

You've said that last line, and it's the response of everyone who can't savor what they most anticipate, the arrival of the thing itself cast aside for something mundane like safety.
The thing itself for you is watching snow,
and now you gladly push it away.

Life is so unpredictable, yet so callously routine.
To live in seasons is to be constantly surprised at things exactly how you've seen them before.
It's not emotions that frighten us, emotions are hand-me downs, the old favourite band t-shirts of experience, often ones we've worn before.
It's the feelings that surround emotion that we shunt out, that we tipex over in our journals of memory, our synaptic splints.
The tears of children who never turn back
to confront their tormentor with their tears.

And so now I'm walking upstairs as a means of brushing off these notions
("For the love of ... make sure the bathroom window is closed")
And I check my phone while debating how to spend the rest of my evening engaging with my phone while you rewarch American sitcoms, so cosy, your contentment as reliable as Irish wind
Then I sigh and look out the Bauhaus insulting bedroom window
Again I see the circus coloured tarpit the weather has made of our street
And wait a minute, trying not to feel anything
Because this is the fourth time this has happened
This year.

I have never looked at someone and said to myself, "He's the one." At least, not until I met you.

It was scary. The thought dawned to me in an unprecedented manner. There were no precautions. But I remember sitting in a slightly crammed convenience store on a hot Thursday afternoon. My mood was a bit tipped over, what with the lack of sleep and the surge of patients at the Emergency Room the night prior. But I waited for you there. Because we both wanted to fill our stomachs with something it could churn on. And when you sat there in front of me, no my heart didn't skip a beat. Instead, even more frightening is that, I felt time slow down.

I can still remember clearly to this day how your eyes glowed as you watched the cars pass by from the window. And when you were about to meet my gaze, I pretended to be exhausted, so I threw myself across the table for a quick nap. There our elbows touched. And it was that moment that I felt anxious of your presence near me. Why am I afraid of you, I asked myself. I mean, I just met you.

But I was careless at that time. I had forgotten how affection towards another can bloom fast. I became easily comfortable, of talking to you, of being undeniably haggard, and of being grumpy. You allowed me some space in your heart, so I opened mine as well. For no definite reason or intent, I let my guard down.

Our conversation went smoothly for ten minutes now. I looked at my watch and saw you didn't have one, so I made a comment, that I get attracted to guys with a sleeky wristwatch. I recall now, I made a few more comments about your hair, your body, and even your uniform. But I was just throwing off my opinion for the sake of keeping the conversation going.

As we reached the fifteen-minute mark of being together for the first time, I did something that will probably haunt me for the rest of my life. Because without thought or hesitation, I held your face. Briefly. Just trying to remove a debris. Just looking straight at that debris, not thinking of the consequences of my little touchy gesture.

However...

Right after this moment, I felt a wave inside my chest. I was having palpitations, and not the pathological kind. I just felt my heart beat faster, and faster, until I knew for sure, that the feeling was how the novels called it --- love at first sight.

I thought to myself, "He's the one." It was the kind that came unexpectedly, that's why I hoped the feeling would beam bright. I was excited of course, yet equally frightened, knowing that a candle that burns twice as bright dies twice as fast.

Indeed, our story unfolded in that manner. It was no fairytale after all. It wasn't scripted by Nicholas Sparks. It was the kind of love that didn't thrive. The kind that avid fans of happy endings will ache for. And so in the days that followed, I found myself fading from the euphoria, which happened right after you told me that we just didn't fit right.. I figured that I cannot force us to be together because it was becoming unrequited. It was, after all, only love at the first sight. The spark in seeing you again just sputtered out, and faded. There was not enough fuel to make a flame.

And now, I am sitting in a slightly crammed convenience store on a hot Thursday afternoon. With my mood a bit tipped over, what with the lack of sleep and the surge of patients at the Emergency Room the night prior. But I am not waiting for someone anymore. I just want to fill my stomach with something to churn on, before I find myself falling for the wrong trapdoor of that thing called love at first illusion.

The song I sung has taken a turn ,
what once was evil, now had to burn .
With all the spirit and nature in guide ,
not all is ours, what we provide ,
to free the soul from burden of hell,
and nothing humane-WELL ! WELL! WELL!
The sight and motto to be the "GOOD",
still standing there ,where you once stood ?
Kept the people by your side ?
But nothing's left except that PRIDE .
Insane , how it worked on death ?
Body is freed and the soul at debt .
The chemtrails running white on blue,
has been once me ,now it's you .
Vibrating air and sleeky wind,
couldn't erase what has been sinned.