Nag, nagging,
Finger wagging,
Shoulders sagging,
Victim slagging.

Oh beration,
Flagellation,
Irritating
Castigation.

Cutting hemlock,
On her chopping block,
Innuendoes
Spawning ad hoc.

Super-intending,
Condescending,
Never ending,
Insult fending.

Pointless rounds
Of empty double-talk,
Wife, your name is
Self-styled wise hawk.

So many, many moons ago
The gang from St. Brigid's would go
Every single chance we could
Off to local farms to sow spuds.

Each one covered in burning lime
(No health and safety at the time)
Each sown under a foot apart;
If not, you went back to the start.

All for only ten pence a line
(Though 'twas a fortune at the time)
Working mostly long ten hour days;
Kids would not do it nowadays!

Picnic lunches in all weathers,
Sitting in the fields together,
Lemonade bottles for the tea,
Eating with hands filthy *****.

It was work that would break your back
But sure we all had mighty craic,
Laughing and joking all day through,
Slagging each other as kids do!

St. Brigid's gang were number one,
Farmers knew the work would be done.
At harvest time back we would drag
To pick spuds for ten pence a bag!

It did none of us any harm
Working such long hours on the farm.
Although the work was onerous
'Twas the making of all of us!

Camping out in Craig's garden,
four of us, thirteen or so,
and the daftness has given way
to important, dark-time talk.

Craig alone has a girlfriend, Paula -
he is a pioneer, entitled to ask,
"Fa dae you fancy, then?"
Inevitable question, social minefield

Answer, "No-one!" and you're a ****.
Give the wrong name,
and risk an eternity of slagging.
Tell the truth, and she might find out.

I go first: I have spotted a safe option.
"Ehm, I fancy Paula," I say,
and it's sort of true - she is a girl,
after all.

Chris goes next:
"Aye, I fancy Paula too."
"Me too," says Jimmy,
and we're all agreed.

We all fancy Paula.
We all fancy Craig's girlfriend,
and that's absolutely fine -
Craig seems satisfied.

And since none of us
has ever acted on such feelings:
since emotion does not yet imply intent
since there is no history of conniving,
of manipulating, of pursuit -
we are all safe and happy,
fancying our pal's lass.

Imagine that now.  Down the pub.
Getting on.  Marriages shoogly.
"Aye, I fancy your wife.
In fact, we all do."

Somehow I suspect
it would no longer be
the bonding experience
of that long-gone, pitch-dark night.

We've reached the end of year one
and Trump says he's done more
than any other president
from any time before.

So, what are the accomplishments
of Trump and his intrepid crew?
Well, here now is a partial list
of what they did, or tried to do.

They lied about inaugural crowds
and introduced "Alternative Facts",
inspired a worldwide women's march
to protest Trump's disgusting acts.

Hollowed-out the E.P.A.,
deemed climate change a Chinese hoax.
Paris Accord and regulations
gone, in puff of toxic smoke!

Wrecked the State Department and
Muslims, he said, must be banned.
Insulted NATO and U.N.,
brought shame upon his own homeland.

Attacked the mainstream media.
Railed and ranted of "fake news",
unless it came from Fox and Friends
and others spouting all his views.

Gave praise to Russia - Putin too.
Investigations started.
Comey started digging and
was forcibly departed.

Poked and taunted Kim Jong Un.
International drama!
Obsessed with slagging Hillary
and Barack Obama.

Battled healthcare, N.F.L.
and Planned Parenthood.
Tried to ban transgendered troops.
Claimed that coal is good.

Would not condemn the Neo-Nazis
down in Charlottesville.
Filled his swamp with sycophants
up on Capitol Hill.

Puerto Rico half destroyed.
Paper towels he gave.
Huge cuts to the National Parks,
decreasing land to save.

Claimed that Trump saved Christmas and
gave massive tax cut presents
to the corporate oligarchs
with crumbs tossed to the peasants.

Debt ballooning! Conflict looming!
Divisions far and wide!
G.O.P.'s not stopping Trump.
Have they even tried?

Claims to be a stable genius;
A smart and big success!
What legacy will Donald leave?
What awful, dreadful mess?

These were just some accomplishments
of which I have kept score,
but they just scratch the surface.
I could rant for hours more!

But haven't we all had enough
after Trump's first year?
It feels more like twenty!
Let us hope his end is near.

This was my Year One "trumpoem"
that I wrote for you.
Hope I won't have to write another
after year two!

So, can you afford this place by yourself.
Yeah, I did the maths.                                                          
­Okay I’ll take the washing machine, you take the couches.  
You kidding, the washing machine was a present, you take the couches.
I know how to work the washing machine.
Well, I know how to work the coffee machine, but I don’t make a song and dance about it.
Was that why you phoned the plumber when it ran out of water.
I didn’t phone him for that, I was getting a quote for something plummery I was thinking of doing.
Plummery, is that computer speak. Which reminds me, laptop, I’ll be taking that.
You’ll have to wait till I put it back together.
What do you mean put it back together, it’s new.
  I know it’s new, now it’s super new, with 12 g installed.
12 g hasn’t been invented yet.
It has now, with my new revolutionary thought processor and rewind imagery camera.
Have you finally gone nuts, you see what I’ve had to put up with the last five years.
Well I can’t tell you what you’ve put up with the last five years, but I can for the last six months.
Okay, you’re beginning to worry me now, what have you done.
I installed a chip in you. Pick a date out in the last six months and I’ll show you what you were doing.
You’re mad, okay December the 11th.
Right, just put that date in, okay let’s view.  You’re having a coffee morning with your sisters
and wait, you’re slagging me off as usual, tut tut.
My god, this is madness, you’ve finally lost it.
Oh you haven’t seen anything yet, lets check out Dec 13th. Oh look, it’s you and the plumber in which seems to be a posh hotel.
So it is, do I look hot or what.
That wasn’t my first thought I must admit, maybe you could explain yourself.
Isn’t it obvious, I mean, you installed the ****** chip, what part don’t you understand.
I don’t understand why you’re with my plumber on the date he promised to install my new revolutionary coffee maker.

Lily Nurmi & Paul Gaffney.

I’m in a house with too many walls/
Stood in breezy corridors/
And its cold and getting colder/
Your whisper seems to float in the air/
Just hung over are heads, waiting to fall/
Like a moth to a flame I’d rather burn for curiosity.

In the night I hear chants that have now become familiar/
Slagging matches get rowdy/
And the crowd they just sing along/
Waiting for a new sun/
Are we ready for new responsibilities?

Take a bow/
Its should have gone long ago/
Its over/
Burn it/
It won’t happen again/
What’s said has now been done.

I really feel *****, I hope there's something **** in the park
Under the moonlight, some loose women lurking in the dark
You see a car, there's a few people trying to make it
They try to squeeze, one by one right between her thighs
****** surprise

'Cause this thrilling, thrilling night
And no ones gonna stop me from ******* a good **** tonight
You know its thrilling, thrilling night
Your waiting for your turn inside a, slushy, ***** tonight, yeah

You hear a **** squelch, and realise
That someone's up her ***
You get your **** hard, and wonder if your ever getting some
You try to move, and hope that this is good fornication
And all the while, there's a fellow up her nice behind
Your watching him grind

'Cause this is thrilling, thrilling night
There's always second chances ******* the **** who's had forty *****.
(Thrilling, thrilling night)
Your still waiting for your turn inside a, cushy, ***** tonight

Nice features temp you, her **** on show and wet slits on parade
There's no escaping the jaws of her used **** this time.
(It's open wide)
This is the time for your ride

Your in her hot ****, you've finally got your ridged **** inside
filled with mens *** making it easier for your **** to slide
Now is the time, for you and I to **** each other together (yeah)
you've been ****** tonight, I don't really mind where other guys have been
I'm just to keen

This is thrilling, thrilling night
Cause I can fill you more than any fool could even if they try
(Thrilling, thrilling night)
So let me ******* right and share a sagging, *******, slagging, tagging, here tonight

'Cause this is thrilling, thrilling night
Girl, I can thrill you more than any fool could even if they try
(Thrilling, thrilling night)
I hope your **** is tight and share a slagging, *******

I hope it's thrilling tonight

Wankers cross the park land
Hoping she will lend a hand
They know she is to ****** good
She's been around the neighbourhood
And whoever she has ******
The blokes ***** she's also ******
And she don't care if the guys smell
She'll **** them and think what the hell

It's gonna be brill tonight
Ooh, baby
I'm gonna drill you tonight
Oh, darling
I'm gonna thrill you tonight
Ooh, baby
I'm gonna spill you tonight
Oh, darling
Thrilling night

The women's legs are in the air
The **** of forty ***** men
And grizzly blokes in her womb
Are plunging in when there is room
And though they like to **** away
There body's start to quiver
Cos none of them can resist
The ***** she'd deliver

Untamed self control my own worst enemy I can be
I can not be the poison and the remedy
The voices I hear are not in my head
I hear the words as if they’ve been said.
Horrific thoughts I must endure
Collective voices worse than before
The madness escalates, reducing me to an unbalanced state
A break mentally so much others can not relate
Psychotic attack or psychotic illusion
Is it reality or is it a delusion?
Derogatory constant running commentary
Over thinking causing chaos; corrupting my mind
No escape nor shred of peace can I find
The voices I hear don’t stop they don’t give in,
Continuously ranting of dishonourable sin
I attempt to deter from mental confusions
Medically my thoughts are seen as delusions
At the time I'm not convinced I'm deluded
Convinced by distorted reality I've concluded
Distorted assumptions that I have concocted -now real
Escalated with time a darkness clouds how I feel
Negativity takes over positive thoughts
Hearing uttering of endless hurtful talk
Resulting in what I hear as being true
Suspicions conspire then conclusions are drew

Hateful words; closer louder unable to ignore
Detachment from any logical thought
From the derogatory talk I hear is believed
Its how I am seen its how I am perceived
Over thinking causing chaos corrupting my mind
Peace & positivity I can not find
Voices persecuting me to such an extent
Relentless and nasty horrid content….
Like on repeat although the night
I hear them talking but there out of sight
Surely they must tyre of slagging me off
Nasty unimaginative hateful lot

Voices of those that I know and those I am close too;
My mental state decreases concluding its true
Every emotion dark with dread and fear
Panic derived from all that I hear
I cant shut it out all of the time I take it all in
Persecuted of every action I do, I cant win
Unable to recall past psychotic occurrences
No deterrent from the cognitive disturbances

The voices never stop they don’t go away
With given time I’ll believe what they say
Whether it be a regrettable act or gossips fabricated lies
All of my self worth and confidence dies

Auditory hallucinations not willing to stop
All reasoning fact and logic forgot
Blinds my judgement and ability to see
harrowing Paranoia descends to reality
Hearing the conversations and ruthless content
Persecuting me to such an extent
Medically my thoughts are seen as delusions
I attempt to deter from mental confusions

Panic, detached irrational thought assumptions
Loss of control and distraught
When the worst of the worst is easing
Confusion remains
I question was it real or am I insane
I know now what I thought was deluded
I cant believe what I've previously concluded
At the time what I thought was real
Inability to control how I feel
Disbelief descends when delusions ease
relief then comes from what I previously perceived.

Some half baked dubious ******* that I wrote on a train headed in the direction of Kortrijk:


''An endless stream of not arseds to hang your ***** washing on/Ya forebearers are all mutts, your pallbearers will be too/You are a kazzoo blowing *******, an idiot's tac nightmare/seen two or three of your alleged family members puffing their chests out down the backtrack, propa knackas/Ya ma is very particular, your sister is as cold as a fortnight in the briar dene (although a fine dancer when she sets her mind to it/
Getting older or more toxic? Shushhhh, be kind/started hearing normans and lennys settling betting slips while I'm on the netty/dettol and despair- the golden duo made good/I'll be bed ridden in time for christmas- flannel pyjamas and sentimentality/heard your kid slagging uz & saw demons in the mist on the windee (window, *******)/cutting my losses/tobogganing hopes/
the left side of my chest is 85 the last weeks/the streets in Brussels speak to me and are canny this time of year/I am not a francophone by predilection/making a secret pact with the universe not to mourn its passing/Every social situation is becoming like a casino for *******/Starting to feel a little bit more Panzram than Ghandi/Flanders is flat cos someone trod on it while under the drink/I might have fitted better into a bygone era- a bewildering lack of manual skills- what came first the dial up internet in your ma's back room or my cack handedness/Don't have owt to tell anyone anymore, don't give two shites nevermind one/Your step brother watches hollyoaks and eats ****** snacks while your step sister hums songs of unknown origin''.
A bumbling idiot's invented history of tyneside:
''I saw 3 cats attack a pigeon in heaton park as bobby thompson, aka the little waster, danced suggestively with the setting sun, a serviette tucked down his front to catch his dinner....................mike neville cried in the dark, while suckling away at a glass tizer bottle from the arcade chippy in whitley bay, that day there was no news on tyneside......T Dan Smith liked a snack as much as the next man...but what he really liked was to drink a pint of water everytime the clock struck 36- that way he could **** the toon into oblivion at his own behest or the behest of occult forces.....I found Gazza, shellsuited, eating a child's portion of cod and chips in St Paul's church yard, in his ruddyu red hand was a 6 pack of socks from winners (the flagship store). Abandoned between his feet were 50 notebooks from the fisherman's mission.....don't get me started on sting''.

Happiness is a temporary gig

Some of you might disagreed

But look at the facts, about happiness

it's as the saying goes: money can't buy happiness.  

I have come to the conclusion, to enjoy one's happiness,

you have to create your own happiness,  

But first look within, and be honest

Who really make you happy

Who is responsible for your happiness?  YOU!

Not your children, your husband, your coworkers,

Not even your pastor, but You..

So, if you want to maintain happiness in your life
always put yourself first,

I saw this quote and I immediately adopted it



See the positives in things rather than the negatives. Don’t open conversations with people about other people. Slagging people off or negativity just comes back through Karma. So be kind to others, we never know why people react sometimes the way they do, but most people do not purposely mean to be rude or unkind, it is just quite often they are under certain stresses and strains. So try to be understanding and see why they are acting that way rather than judging them Quote......

If happiness was mixed with coke a cola.
imagine, how many of us will be smiling..






































.

This thickness I feel
I've been inhibited
as if surgery waited
and you were
indifferent

cut away margins
of caring
boilt bone
and steam
an' I slough off

heaps of me
slagging down
upon myself
piles of mess
to be done with

and me hoping
for reinterpretation
of these scrapings
and small puddles
glistening with

Who am I?
I get asked this question a lot
But I really don’t think there’s no need to answer
Because like a cancer
This tumorous disease eats at me
Like cell-to-cell
Like a hell of tales
Burning my flesh and soul
To an endless loop of fear, pain, and trauma
Am I a man?
Am I a child?
Am I considered wild?
A beastly creature
Am I a Black male?
That gets stereotyped for having a darker shade than others
For being wrong all the time but never right
That gets stereotyped for having a stereotype
That gets profiled for not having a profile
Am I a child that has his whole life is determined, with two words,
Test scores!
Test scores that get me into college with a lifetime of debt or prison with three hots and a cot.
Tests that weren't even set up for us at all
Rigged from the beginning  
That western thinking    
Am I a Black boy,
That has no father to lead him, guide him, and show him how to be a man?
Am I an adolescent,
That gets stereotyped for either gang banging or caine slagging?
A **** - The Hate You Give
That is at a constant struggle with oneself on when to be tough, reckless, and wild
Or when to be joyful and have a smile
A savage
An impatient fiend for the white skin
Yearning for a fix
Like Birth of a Nation
When we birthed this nation
A Criminal
That can never be trusted
Ignorant,
Stereotyped for not knowing how to read or write
Illiterate
Mentally *******
Different
Not like me, so I hate you
Not like me, so I chase you
Not like me, so I **** you
Strange
Like strange fruit
I hang
My neck snaps
PULL!
Hang
Cracks
PULL!
Hang
POPS!
Freeze
Burn!
Maybe I'm Insane,
For being a crack baby
Or from the medicine that Mommy and Daddy said the doctor gave me
Or since my dad put gaping holes in my mom
From hollow tips to hollow trips
Doctor visits to Child Protective Services
Psychoanalysis for my Psychopathic Analysis  
Needing an antibiotic for this infection
An antipsychotic for that depression
Inadequate
Insufficient funds
Scares
Impoverished
I don’t know, you tell me
As these words speak free
I ask again
Who am I
Shouldn’t I decide and be free?