call me a simp
or maybe a wimp
but i'm so down bad
that i've gone mad
every second spent
in torment
thinking about you
and feeling blue
while in the back of my mind,
i know that you don't know
my existence.

~

who knows the definition of a poet?
~
for my friend, S.Y,
who I will embrace with both hands,
both eyes, when he hands me a signed copy of a book
that answers the question

weighty subjects deserve your best work,
expressions of affection and introspection,
need careful reflection, a proper set up for the
tumult inevitable when delving in the unopened recesses
where the answers kept

so, of course, the writing commences well after 1:00am,
when the darkness of night clarifies the process,
for I work by day but live by night,
when summoning up my one tool no one can take away,
the joy, the relief, the spectacular exultation  of
rearranging the aleph bet in new ways,
when the quietude of reflection transports me
across the continents in visions of what will be

I don't know if I know the answer, perhaps, any answers,
but when this man demands
the ebb tides of soul to depart,
to make him stand alone on the shore of endings,
forcing  him to acknowledge his reckonings,
lonely, only humanity and frailties

I hear a voice gruff growling and me laughing-
"cut to the chase, make your point, get out of people’s way"

so in your honor, this simp fool who asks questions
no human has any business, the answers knowing,
will one last stanza grant and give and
yours to keep,
and commence countdown waiting for that day of welcoming

from the underground comes a chorus of voices,
in one voice but many languages, chanting:

all humans are poets
who acknowledge and freely confess that the
blood and stuff, the kisses and the touches of family and friends,
parent and child,
are the ***** and the egg,
the beginning and the circulation of the never ending,
the open entrance that penetrates the berm surrounding real life,
all these are the root and the stem and the blossoming,
of poetry writ large, for they who have these in their possess,
are surely by definition certainly

humans, poets

~
5/14/17 2:05am

today,
walked the river arcade,
by the river~side.
same,
where, & when,
a decade earlier
and a laugh ago,  
we performed
a daily differential calculus

of the distance to that line,
a watermark,
where my accidental drowning
would be insurance covered

don’t recall, if back then,
poetry writin’ was a good  
a daily companion, or-even
a mere passing acquaintance

but went to
all-in-all-alone-freedom,
found riches,
yet still pressed in rags
of remorse, mourning surely,
until & still a
woman, or
three, rated me a
good looking edible,

even
if only didn't always dress
in black, head to toes, like an
extra cool new yorker, or an
attendee at my own fun~ereal

since those days,
gallons millions, zillions
of brackish seawater has flowed
out to sea as far as
England, Philippines, New Zealand,
whichever be connected to the
rain water of Adirondack mountains
flowing past East 57th Street,

my salty tears replenished,
but time changed the causation,
from oy to joy in simp terms
that rhymes…with me and yours

water woman water woman water
makes the heart capable of weeping
tears of joy,
oh! happy drowning
how do
you cross from woman to water,
that, now I walk on a
water bridge of loving
hard, steel & liquidity of
concrete, smooth roughness
became the path to loving living

I am*…
A beat without a sound
A stray without a pound
A flower without the ground
A person without the noun
A girl who believes in men
A writer without a pen
A solider who's off to battle, without a country to defend
A moment without a stage
A book without a page
A innocent man who's on the run without a cop to start the chase
A verdict without a case
A puzzle without the maze
A smile of given defeat, without the sour face
Water without the vase
A crime without the trace
Blood that doesn't stain
A scar without the pain
Circus lion who isn't tamed
A man who's in the mirror...without looking the same
A color that's black and white
A blind man who can read and write
An image of your sunny day...that's an illusion of your figment night...

But wait!
I've come to an conclusion...

Im An ill mind not willing to listen, who's thoughts are reminiscing..about a past life when the good rules and his golden heart wasn't missing....even without his illusions...but I walk in a realist dream?...Is this life really...all an illusion?
-Dougie Simp #LostLoveWriter

a gift for the poet
a sky full of stars,
whose poetry, when well read,
brings, leads,
souls to their knees
satisfying with quiet desperation,
satisfying with noisy aspiration,
unto the best places poetry,
can airlift the human soul,
to a sky full of stars
~~~
so many pleasures to pick from:

the summer's first awakening taste of
comforting cold vanilla in sugar cone
upon the lips,
reading Whitman and Poe,
in my sheltered poet's nookery,
watching my woman chop
summer fruits, cranberries, berries, mango,
into the salad of our lives

but one pleasure olden,
yet evergreen new,
rare,
but never aged,
like the occasional
pink potpourri sunset of  gold bluesy hues,
this ancien accidental tourist stumbling
smack dab
into a new poet whose excellence
force~asks you to say,
while he breathes intake/expels
noisy airy,
how~wow?

I don't read the words of
this solitary kayaker,
no, I drink till drunk
on mine own tears,
angry that I'm late to the party,
once again

nine poems glorious,
this poets meagerly provides,
reminding me,
a few master treasures,
oft outweigh the many

me, a thousand and more,
yet struggling to hone
my dulled verbal skills
to take true flight,
most o'mine, suffocate stillborn
in the torrential waterfalls of
never ending misleading
gold plated
trite

nine (!)
poems only,
bring this old soul
to his worn out knees,
in humbling fresh-face humility,
he thanks the muses for
gift-granting knowledge of a
blackened velveteen night sky new poet star,
to his eyesight keening,
sad in the knowing that so many more,
shine
but remain undiscovered

this new poet

"writes a little,
just soul scribbles mostly
not wanting to be anybody special,
an evanescent dark star; season's change"

give me more,
this old man demands,
for each of the nine is a

"single delicate petal cast off,  
like a party dress fallen
in a beautiful mess
upon the puddled wooden floor"

her invitation, I accept, I accept
on bent knee eagerly to

"Come swim within this restless silence
the raging river inside beckons

the cadences we hear
are the heart's untamed waters overflowing ,
eroding this heart's shorelines ,
leaving the thrummed edges wild
swim within this restless silence
the raging river inside beckons

the cadences we hear
are the heart's untamed waters overflowing ,
eroding this heart's shorelines ,
leaving the thrummed edges wild"

as always,
I wax too simp,
too long,
while the new poet waxes
simply eloquent,
hard knocking down his old soul
to the ground
with memories
of days when with first morn blush,
two three poems,
he provided
to greet the honorable dawn,
after searching the night skies,
for new and
Undiscovered Poems

She
(for must be a woman, I just know)

"colours this heart's blank pages
rapt in the poesy a joyous ecstasy ..,
enrapture with rainbow's candy taste"

i don't know if its love or lust
but you make me feel something
and that's rare
emptiness drugs and depression
are all ive ever known
to be fair
time goes by
i can tell by the colors of the seasons
i still don't know who i am
but at least with you
i have a reason

my heart's been stolen, and not in the cliche way...
i'm pretty sure that if you run forensics they'll find foot prints leaving
they'll find your finger prints at the place my heart once laid.
your eyes are so beautiful that when i first saw them...
i felt how useless mine were, that i almost couldn't open them up
let me stare at you from afar
let me wonder how it would be like, for you to like someone like me
i know you've got a ton of people lining up to get your attention
but if after all your options are exhausted
and you feel like you need something new
then, please consider me!

This is the end of love...
Cause I've dabbled in infatuation...
I can tell what love is
This is not genuine, so let's play pretend.
Tell me you love me, and let me fake a smile
In my need to be loved, and crave attention, i want you to love me, like it's my last day on earth.
Kiss my freckled lips with warmth.
Touch those melanin thighs with contempt.
And even if i know you're not worth having me!
I give myself to you, since it's you i want.
I can't stand the gaze upon you.
But without your presence, I'll asphyxiate myself!

"I write for the ordinary souls
who can't always sort out the
meaning in all the metaphors and analogies
that grace more sophisticated formats.

Indeed,
together we have
struggled over
the potholes of existence
and in my case,
heath,
but it's nice to not be alone
on the weighing
to the way

I do welcome your company.
I try not to complain
and be down,
but it's a struggle I often lose.
You can call me on it,"

by
Anonymous
<>
R*esponse:

a kith & kindred soul,
to I,
as well,
*who too,
whose
soul is still
crazy after all these years

our pathos paths cross
but lit~er~ally
but
we are
allied as well

simple *simpatico
and
words interestingly
suffice
when
suffering
is cognizant
and the parallelism
is truly
literal,

anon!

(You!
can call me in it)

I WANT TO DIE SO MUCH, TOUCH LUCK IM STILL BREATHING, WISH I WASNT!!! WAS LIKE NO SHE HADN'T, WHAT'S THE MATTER? WILL I EVER FEEL BETTER? KICK THE BUCKET WITH A LETTER NEXT TO MY BED. EYES WIDE OPEN WITH ***** WRITTEN ON MY FORE-HEAD, KNOWING I WAS BETTER OFF! TRUE STORY ABOUT A WASTED LIFE-LIVING A LIFE THAT WAS A BIG WASTE, SO MANY YEARS GONE AND PASSED, STILL FEEL STUCK IN THE PAST, CANNOT GET IT TOGETHER, WILL I EVER BE A WINNER INSTEAD OF BEING A LOSER? DEATH HAUNTS ME AND IT HURT'S SO BAD, IM GOING MADD, MY MIND IS GONE, FAR FROM HAPPY I AM SAD, SO BE GLAD, MY LIFES OVER, FORGET THE FUTURE, PRESENT AND PAST, IM IN LAST, ON BLAST, HELD IN A FULL BODY CAST, LOST SOME DEEDFUL CASH, KNOWN HOW TO MASH, BUT AM AFRAID TO GOTO MASS, I WONDER WHEN I DIE WILL I GOTO HEAVEN, OR WILL I END UP IN HELL, LINED UP WITH DEMONS I SEE THEM ALREADY AN FEEL GHOSTS, I WANT TO GO HOME, LORD TAKE ME AWAY, TIRED OF BEING ALONE, BORED AND ZONED, IVE GOTTEN ******, SILLY FACT IS I LIVE 4 DEATH, THE DAY I SEEN THAT MAN DIE IS THE DAY I SEEKED REVENGE, IN THE END, I WILL SHINE OR RIDE HIGH, MAYBE OFF MYSELF, GOD KNOWS, WANTING TO DIE, WONDERING WHY I AM ALIVE, EASY AS PIE, BLAST MY HEAD OFF, ONEDAY YOU WILL SEE ME, OH BABY I CANT LIVE LIKE THIS, MY LIFE IS RUINED, SO I ASK MYSELF WHY? WHY MUST I LIVE MY LIFE WHEN IM ALWAYS SICK AN TIRED, ALWAYS LONELY, ALONE ALL NIGHTS, ITS NOT RIGHT, LORD F MY POSITION, CAN I NOT JUST DIE, I CANT BREATHE ANOTHER BREATH WHEN MY WORDS GO UN-SPOKEN, MY HEART MIGHT EXPLODE, EXPOSED, WHEN WILL MY HURTS AN LOSSES GO, HOW MORE MANY DAYS ON MY OWN, UNTIL THEN, OUR PHONE WILL NEVER EXIST, FEELING LIKE A SIMP, WISH I FELT GROWN, LET 1 THING BE KNOWN, DEATH WILL CONSUME, ITS DEPRESSING, FULL OF WASTE, LEFT FOR DEAD IN A DITCH, THINGS FELL INTO PIECES, AFTER BEING DRAGGED CHAINED TO A TRAILOR HITCH, WELL WINCH, ILL GO FIRST, NO WORRIES IT WILL NEVER STOP HURTING, ITS THE WORST, MORE PAINFUL THEN BIRTH, I HATE THE EARTH, SO I GIVE IT ALL IM WORTH, IN THE END LOVE DOESNT WORK, SO MARK MY WORDS, HEAD TO HEELS, NO REASON EVER SENUATION KING OF AN UNDERGROUND, ITS WHERE I MAKE YOU LAY, YOUR LAST DAY, OUR LAST WORDS, FRESH FLOWERS ON YOUR GRAVE, YOU PAVED THE WAY BUT TODAY WE WILL SEE, FROM HEAVEN TO THE DEEPEST DEPTHS OF THE UNIVERSE, THE WRONG SEASON SHADOWED IN DARKNESS SUCOMMING THE LOVE AROUND ME, SO HARD TO SURVIVE WITHOUT YOU, MY WIFE OR THE ONE WHO CARES, AKA ME AND MINE, THE LAST SECOND MAKING IT TO THE FINISH, I WANT YOU LADY HAVE MY BABY, IM GOING CRAZY, SPEECHLESS BUT READ MY LIPS, LET ME GO ON LIVING, CORPORATE ISSUES, ILL OFFER YOU, THIS KEYBOARD GIVING A CODE LIKE THESE PAST 5 GRAPHS, ILL TEACH YOU BASIC MATH, YOU CANT EVEN THINK, GIVE YOU WOMAN, GIVE YOU A WHIRL, A TWIRL, A SWIRL, ALL AROUND THE GLOBE, THE AK SMOKE HIT WITH A BANG, GONE THRU THE ROOF, ACE COOPSWOOP, THE LATEST NEWS, MY LIVE BLOG, CALL CNN A BADASS IS IN THE BUILDING, SHIPS AND SQUADRANTS, IM SO POWERFUL, COROSPONDENCE CONSULTING, TALKING BIG GUNS, WATCH THE BUSH, WORK FOR ME OR LOSE PLACEMENT, YOUR GREED IS TROUBLING YOUR MONEY SITUATION, MAKING PAPER BILLS FAKE, I AM A PATRIOT, SO ICY FREEZING THE GREAT LAKES, TAKING ON PIKES PEAK, FREE IN THE COLUMBIAN STREETS, DROP A BIZZLE, LIKE 80'S CUBA, DONT SAY MY NAME TWICE, I HAVE ALL THE SUPPLIES, I WILL ABIDE, YOU WILL ATTEST, THE BEST, SPEAKING FOR THE REST, A PUBLIC ANNOUNCMENT AND FAIR WARNING, LISTEN OR GO MISSING, AMW, BUILDING SKY-SKRAPERS, MINING FOR PRECIOUS ORE, BURIED, LISTEN WITH NO AMOUNT, IM WILLING IM GOING TO WE ARE GOING TO, IM WILLING WERE STUNTING, LETS HAVE IT, GIVE YOU THE BIDDINGS, THE FUNDAMENTALS, PIVOT, PACK AND SHIP, NATIONAL CHAMPION TURNED INTERNATIONAL AWARD WINNER, OUT IN THE VALLEY WOMEN BADDER THEN HALLEY, VOICE LIKE CAREY, BABY WHAT YOU WANT ILL MAKE YOU A TRILLIONAIRE, HOLD STOCKS RUN SHARES WHO CARES, SKIN BARE, THAT FINE BODY PREPPED HAIR WITH A FLASH OF GLAMOUR AN TOUCH OF GLARE, BODY WORKING, TWIRLING, I WANT, TAKE A SEAT, ALL ACROSS ALL THE LANDS, IF YOU UNHEALTHY I MIGHT HURL SO GIRL GO ON SOMEWHERE OTHERWISE, PEARL, DIAMOND, YOURE MY LOVE, OUR FORCE, NEED/WANNA MAN LIKE ME IN YOUR LIFE, COME OVER HERE I WILL DO YOU RIGHT, BODYING YOU TONIGHT, WORKING THAT TIGHT, POLITE, **** SIDE, SO BE MINE, I GOT THAT NINE, PROTECT THE LIME LIGHT, WANNA REAL G LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT IS, ALRIGHT? TRUST ME, MY FUTURE WIFE, HEART BEAT CONNECTED TO A HEART BEAT WHAT A NICE FEATURE, YOURE SOAKED, ALL THAT WATER PUT IT IN THE AIR, AYE MILLI THIS A BILLI, ONLY GONNA SAY IT ONCE, IM ALREADY GONE AND MIGHT BE DONE, SO POP IT, ANYONE ASKS YOURE MINE, MY DIME, HANDS TOGETHER, A 1 NIGHT STAND TRANSFORMED INTO A LIFE LONG RELATIONSHIP, WE MAKE LOVE, GOT ME BEGGING DONT GO, THIS THE G WITH THE SECRET TRADE, GOT PICTURES OF YOU HAND ME THE ROPE, BETTER BELIVE, FOUR-FOUR, WOOD WHEEL SWERVING, BIG RIMS SPINNING, PAINT GLISTENING, BASS BUMPING, RIDING *****, MY NAMES NOT OUT, MY NAMES ON TOP, REPPING THA NAWF, A DEATH NOTE TO END RAP IN ONE DAY, BIGGER RANK, HIP-HOPS DEAD, LAYING IN YOUR BED 2 SHOTS 2 THE HEAD, 6 FEET AN STILL SINKING, GOT SLAUGHTER? NO COST, COOKING WHAT YOU WONT, LIKE MY FIRST VERSE, SO MUCH WORK, GATHERING ALL THE FISH IN THE SEA, BUYING BANKS, END YA, TRILL YA, PAY YA, EVEN MAIL YA, THATS WHY I CALL YOU TRICK, BIG BUSINESS I GOT A EXOTIC MOUTH, SPEAKING THE TRUTH, WOMAN I GOT SKILLS, IF MY DOUGHS YOUR DOUGH, TALKING OFF WITH THAT DRESS, GET RID THEM HEELS, DONT BE FAKE WITH A FAKE *** NAME, NICE LIPS, MAKING ME SHOUT, NO LOSS, CATCHING YOU SLIPPING, OFF WITH THEIR HEADS, GET OUTTA MY BED, HALF IS MINE, HALF IS YOUR'S, GIVE ME MY  NATIONWIDE TOURS, WHEN I SAY GOODMORNING BABY MOMMA, GOT YOU TO STOP CRYING SO DONT WORRY, I AM SORRY, THEY DONT STOP DROPPING, BABY BABY DONT FORGET, YOURE ANGELIC, THIS LOVES WAR, YOUR LIGHT GUIDES ME THROUGH THIS DARKNESS, IM DONE APOLOGIZING, SO RISE, RISE AN SHINE BRIGHT, A WOMAN WITH YOU WILL HAVE NO DRAMA, IM SO EXCITED, I CANT THINK, I MIGHT HAVE A HEART ATTACK, JUST 1 DAY, HOW THE HELL DID YOU THINK ILL HANDLE BABY MOMMA DRAMA? I ASK THE LORD, IS IT ME OR THE OTHER BROTHERS DOWN THE STREET? ANOTHER DAY AWAY, I JUST CANT, IN A CASKET IS THE ONLY WAY, NOTHING WILL TURN MY SITUATION IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION,THIS DEMOND I SEE IS ATTACKING MY LOGIC, I LOVE YOU, MARRIAGE BABY IN A CARRIAGE THINKING ABOUT US AS ONE BURIED, NEXT TO ME THIS IS AMAZING, COULDNT BE MORE HAPPY, THE HURT IS REAL, THE DISTRESS IS A SACRIFICE ITSELF, I CANT EAT I CANT THINK, THIS LOVE IS KILLING ME, I DO BELIEVE I WILL NEVER CHEAT OR ESCAPE, OR EVEN IMAGINE THINGS GETTING WORSE, REALIZING NOW THIS A WRITTEN 24 HOUR MOVIE, LEGAL SMOKE, SCRAP UNDER THE TABLE, WISH YOU DIDNT HAVE TOO, BUT NEVER BE LIKE ME EVER, LOW-KEY VERY IMPORTANT INDIVIDUAL, CANT BE STOPPED MUST BE BAUGHT, DONT STOP, MAC PLAYA ****, BEATS ON A LIST, SO BACK-UP, WARRANTS FROM ATTITUDE, GOING TO STAY PAYED, LET THE BEAT DROP, LIKE A DON, A AMBASSADOR, A KING, OR A GOD, LETHAL ASSASIN, MAKING A KILLING, WORSE VILLIAN, MOST POWERFUL HERO, MOST DISCRIMATED LIVING, LIFE OF A TRILLIONAIRE, CANT HANDLE ME, DONT GET SHOT, I DONT CARE WHAT YOURE WORTH, YOU AINT WORTH THE ***, YOURE SO FAR BEHIND GET YOUR *** STARTED, TRY AND CATCH UP IM SO FAR AHEAD I PAVED THE WAY, NOT ONE PERSON TILL THIS VERY MINUTE CAN COMPETE, SO GET OUT OF MY PATH, GO DIG YOUR SHALLOW BURIAL SPOT, SLAVE, SOON TO BE ENCASTED IN YOURE OWN ****, SO CLEAN UP THIS ACT, EXPLAINING MY SITUATION, LET IT BE KNOWN, POSESSION IS LUCIFER, FROM CONCRETE PRINTS FATHER CALLED DON, ENDING WORLD DOUBT, I AM ALIVE, WITH THIS I NEVER DIE, SECRET SOCIETY SPEAKS FROM MY SOUL, THE FORCE OF FREIGHT TRAINS WANNA PLAY GAMES, 1 GALLON A MILE FOR WEIGHT, TOP TO BOTTOM FILLED MAKING YOU FAKE, MY PEOPLE'S LOCKED, TONS OF KEYS TO CITIES, PULL ANY CHICK, PULL ONE, PULL TWO, PULL THREE OR FOUR, NOT SCARED ONE BIT, GET IN A LICK, LIKE SLICK RICK, SLICK RICHS BROUGHT BACK ZACKS FIFTH WAR, THE REAL STARS AN STRAPS, GUN TO MY DOME, GIVE UP BEFORE YOU TRY AN THE TRIGGER FINGERS NOT MINE, I PUT ON AN SHOUT OUT I GOT BIZZLES, LONGEVITY OUTTA UPTOWN ATTRACTING ANYONE FROM ANY COUNTRY, DEAD FROM SICKNESS OR IN PAIN HELLS WITNESS, I PRAY SOME VOODOO RIGHT NOW, TO RISE THE FORESAKEN, WITH THIS HEX BRING OUT THE DEVIL.........