Several CHRISTMAS times have passed-
MY mind wonders back several years when
XMAS had a different meaning-
With the loss of my mom and dad and my stepfather
the true meaning of XMAS has gone-shattered by the
reality of life and deaths of those close to me-
XMAS leaves a void in my life never to be filled again ever-
With most of my loved ones gone there is this vast emptiness
that is eating away at me.
YES I have some family but it feels shallow as the holidays approach.
IF I  could go back in time and change things I'D put together the
pieces of the family puzzle and make XMAS a real holiday instead
of feeling down in the dumps but reality can take a bite out of your life-
and toss it away with no remorse-felt.
The only certainty is XMAS will come again and add its'reminder that
those who I love and miss the most will not be here .
I miss the opening of the presents,and the smiles and the small talk around
the XMAS tree .Maybe some day I will understand life better than I do now.
I will get through this holiday even though I will hold back my tears-I want to shed-
I pray to our LORD that he gives me his blessing to get me through-my time of need-
For mending a broken heart from family losses is not something you can put on your
XMAS wish list.
THE END