He always hated me, since the beginning. Birthing red spills into a volcano was his tears when he wept. Mom forgot about Tommy. I was no more than his **** inside his diapers. I was a throwaway child. A rugrat. Unborn again into the womb. I had no spare feeling of bitterness when the salt sat on my dry tongue. I was fed of love. Brotherly love. I have grown to realize that my relationship was not composed of such gentle intimacy. The love was dangling on the edge and my grip grew less and less, with my fingers producing heavy perspiration. I let go and let a smile edge my cheeks.

Captured in the psych ward 16


On the day of jeff paynter's psych review. Ron got up at 3 in the morning to try and figure out how he was going to do tips, he is always one to let the patient speak but all night he get texts explaining that he had violent outbursts which causes him to change his approach, no if he has anything to say that might help him be cured. Ron us in for that, but there is a lot of inappropriate language which can force the staff to postpone the review. So Ron searched the web especially YouTube and some great psychology websites and even read a bit of his old timer psychology papers and text books just to find some useful information, and Ron really wanted to help Jeff. Like he does for everyone and at 6 Ron had a shower and went to fran and dans and fran asked Ron how are you today and Ron said, I am doing great but I have this stupid psych test on a patient of mine and really this is looking weird, cause last night he had so many outbursts. I had to get up early to find out what the hell is wrong with him and Barry Allan said, well Ron
I think he has a lot of problems fitting into society and you need to make him understand that what he is doing is wrong, now, yeah it is hard for me to judge cause I hardly know him, but really you should try to get him to speak up about jest is really wrong with him and Ron said yeah mate yeah, jeff, yeah I know has something wrong him, but I am having a mighty hard time trying to point out what is wrong with him, like it could be schotzpgrenia or even bipolar or maybe multiple personalities but that is rare, all I can tell you guys that there is something wrong with him and after finishing his coffee and chinwag he went to the hospital and clocked in and as usual, the first thing he did was give out the morning medications to the HDU and then took their blood pressure and went in to talk to Bill to say that another member of staff will have to take you to TAFE today because I have to spend the day with Jeff, and bill said who will it be and Ron said well at the moment it looks like Tessa, but I will let you know when it happens and then Charlie came out to ask the nurses about leave to do a silent movie and jeff said. Why he **** should you get a job on a silent movie. You are so goofy and then Charlie do you know who I am and jeff said, no your not Charlie Chaplin, all you are is a insult to Charlie Chaplin fans and then jeff called him a big phoney and Charlie Chaplin threatened him with a I am going to bash you up, I am going to bash you up and suddenly Charlie and jeff were having a big punch up and Pete also became involved as well, Ron and a few nurses had to get into this fight and break it up and Ron took jeff away telling the nurse to make sure that bill gets to class at 10-30 and then took Jeff into his room and stayed there with him, to try and figure out jest is wrong and jeff said, you fucken doctors with your medical degrees don't know squat what I am dealing with and Ron said, ok I know I am getting paid for this. And to you I might look like I am helping you to pay the bills, but I am interested in what you have to say. And it stays in this room and Jeff then agreed to tell him the whole story of how a Catholic priest molested him as a child and that got him thinking that molesting kids was right. So then he went to shopping malls and chased every kid, making them very scared of me and then when I saw a kid waking with their parents showing their muscly white legs, I would go come here kid and if the kid came I would grab them and say I have you kidnapped you little rugrat, and then Ron asked, when you said I have you kidnapped, were you actually planning to actually kidnap this kid, or was that illness taking and jeff said, what the **** do you mean my illness, I ain't ill, I just take revenge on people who do harm to me Ron, it's called looking after yourself and Ron said yeah, but I am trylng to give a psych review cause there is something wrong with your brain, and with his hands in the air assuring that he just means he understands, you see to take our your anger on a poor innocent child
Is horrible just because it happened to you, now I know you are sick of the patients here like old blimie Charlie. But mate I can monitor you on medication and make you avoid jailtime and jeff said I don't know right, I don't know why I followed the kids around the mall, and I don't know why I grabbed one out in a public place, I just did it cause I did it and that is why I did it and Ron told Jeff, ok if you go to jail you could get bashed you see they bash people who do harm to kids in there, and if you do wrong things jeff, you have to realise that life stinks and it can be unfair but I am here to find out where are you going to go from here, you see if you stay here, we could get you leave to do courses at TAFE or rehabilitation courses so you don't reoffend, but you need to coopperate with me, I don't want to see you in jail for this. I am interested in letting you do a course, and yes we can help you get back on your feet, so how about I give you this paper and pen and you tell me what would you like to do and where you go from here, and tell us your future goals, be realistic though but don't be shy to say movie star, we can help you get through all this, but that will take time and Ron left Jeff in there and when it came to Jeff's psych review, well jeff was really organised, well he said yeah he believes in standing up for himself but doing it to a kid is wrong and he listed a whole lot of things but the main thing that Jeff wanted to do is learn a trade and he wanted an apprenticeship as a plumber, so Ron did some ringing around and found this plumber who is willing to have him, and he was professional and took him on two days a week, picking him up at the HDU and after having that organised Ron gave the nightly medication and then clocked off and went to the Chinese takeaway and sit in the park near the yarra river at 9-00 pm and Barry Allan came over with a longneck of beer and they spoke to each other and Ron said that he really has the knack for helping people find their feet as he told Barry everything about jeff except for his name, and
They were having great conversations as the yarra river continued to flow so peacefully in the back ground


Sent from my iPhone

Saturday,
really where's the vibe?
Prefer to party inside,
in the subtle chaos of my mind.
Maybe I just want to stay dreaming,
it's really a chilled day outside.
As troubles of the weekday still lingers.  

For this day I'll tell you a story.

A nostalgic kid,
Saturday morning waking up to the screen.
Wonder what adventures are playing?
Wasn't a teen,
yet watching four of them as a kid.
Always snapping while watching four turtles.
As were feelings amid,
watching reruns of TMNT.

Flip the channel to younger days,
still much a Rugrat.
Swept under the mat,
wonder as babies did we have reasons to chat?
Wishing I could hide away from family,
hidden away in my secret laboratory.
I wouldn't be vexed,
not a little to live like Dexter.
My advantage is, I don't have a sister.

I found courage as little as I am.
In a world sort of like Eustace Bagge.
I had to become a man,
proud with what was my imperfection.
Where would I be without The X-Men?

Life was always a mystery,
from home to school.
Wish to unmask it all like ****** doo.
Wished to be armoured,
let them call out my name.
A quick watch of Visionaries and Hey Arnold!

Later go save the planet,
all life does matter
Especially those living on it.
A Captain of the show,
earth, wind fire, water and heart.
And my addition would be mind and soul.

The run around of this life,
chasing it only for a prize
A cat chasing a mouse before the mice.
As the world seems to be ******,
tune into the crazy till the afternoon.
Living a flightless life as a Pingu,
I hope it isn't as true.

My list could go on,
but I don't have much of the time.
Neither any of the energon,
how do I then Transform the time?
Is this for me, the Prime?

I must find new adventures,
as like Winnie The Pooh,
An often jumpy tigger,
how so am I rude?
I grew up shy as a piglet,
with a list of all the shows I grew up to.

My life seemed to be a Saturday cartoon.

By: Arreonna Frost (me)

Prologue

“No, Please?” She sobs, “No!” Screams through the air.
I close my eyes and think of all the good times we had together, before he turned into a monster. My thoughts are interrupted when the front door slams and all of the knick knacks in my room begin to shake. I shudder. Glass shatters and falls to the floor as of if it were a waterfall, as my mother screams an ear piercing scream.

My eyes fly open and I realize that I have been crying. My yellow walls glow back at me as the star stickers in a starry night pattern hint off a neon yellow, as they glow in the dark. I hug my purple polka dot bear close to me and begin to cradle her.

My mother left my door open a crack again, like she does every night and a long stretch of light creeps across my floor, almost reaching for my slippers at the foot of my bed. On my night stand to the right of my bed, I turn off my green lava lamp and roll over so I face the window.

The glowing of the white moon that almost looks yellow reflects off of my cheeks, hinting to anyone nearby that I have been crying. As goosebumps slither up my arm from the chill of the window, I wrap the sparkly green butterfly quilt my mother made for my 6th birthday tighter around me. I then plug my ears, silencing the noise the best I can.
“No! No!  She screams louder. “Please! God please! Please save my baby!”
“Shut-up!” He screams back. “Nobody will hear you, no one at all!” Echoes his evil laugh against the old walls. “Were in the middle of nowhere you no for good ***** **!”
“Please! Please! Please!” She silently sobs to herself.

As I am eager to be down there and witness what is happening, I roll back over on my side, throw the blanket off of me, and to the side. My feet fall to the floor silently as I slip them into my slippers. Walking towards my door I look at the floor carefully, as of to not make a sound.

My door slowly creaked open as the light fills my room eagerly. I stop in my tracks as the front door slams shut. Holding my breath I begin to cry; feeling scared, sad, and lonely. A chill nips at my bare legs and I yank my yellow silk nightgown down my legs some more.

When I reach the top of the stairs and about to slowly go down, I examine my surroundings and see our family portrait to my right. The gold frame is what really made the picture stand out against our white walls. Mother looks younger and prettier, her eyes don’t have bags underneath like she does now. Her long brown curly hair flows down and off of her shoulders almost reaching her elbows. I notice her bright white smile and how happy she looks while she is hugging her 6 month pregnant belly. While holding me close her blue eyes sparkle back at me, so alive and adventurous.

Like the usual my father looks like he is staring right through the camera instead of at the camera. He has never once smiled or even shown a sign of happiness, not even in public. The blue flannel shirt has a tear by his elbow and the top two buttons are unbuttoned. My favorite blue dress brings out my big brown eyes as I also smile into the camera.

My brown hair wasn't quite as long as my mothers but my brown curls also flow onto my shoulders. My high cheek bones stick out from the glare of the flash. This picture was taken a few years ago. Taken before my little rugrat of a brother was born. He is now three years old and very annoying, especially when he gets his way every time he cries.

The door slams shut again as I jumped startled again and snap out of the memory. The wooden stairs are slippery beneath me as the fabric from my slippers does not give me traction. The railing is what gives me support as I slowly creep down the stairs trying not to make a sound down our ancient steps. Tears slowly fall down my cheeks again, leaving behind a damp trail, once I reach the bottom. Pulling my nightgown down some more, I reach their bedroom to my left. The door was already left slightly open as the light creeps into the hall. Pushing the door open more, just enough so I can see, mother is on the floor holding Joseph in his blue Spider man blanket.

Josephs blonde hair sticks out of the top blanket, all knotted together. Mother is weeping into my personal favorite nightgown of hers. The blue silk always made mother beautiful, especially against her skin and brown hair. I see that father is holding a Budweiser in his left hand and his rifle in the other.

In the far back left corner, fathers stained nook has several beer cans and bottles piled on top of each other, some even spilling onto the ground. As father raises the rifle off the floor I gasp and take a step back not cautious of the creaky floors. When the floor does let out a long creek all I can do is my hold my breath, and pray that he doesn't notice my presence as his dark heartless eyes beat right through me.

The muscles in his hairy arms tense up as the rifle lowers back down and rests on the floor. I notice mother looking at me as she slowly slides to the window. His focus is now away from the door but back solely on mother, as his attention goes away from this dark pit I slowly step closer to the door.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Rolls off of the tip of his tongue like he’s getting woozy. He then pulls Joseph out her tiny fragile hands. As he sets Joseph down in his handmade wooden crib, mother cries harder.

"N-nothing", stutters through the air, "I was just getting Joseph’s other blanket since he was cold", she bluffs.

I just now realize that the window is open and I was her hope of escaping. Now I wish he was still focused on me. I slowly fall to my knees and kick them to the side, so i’m sitting how  a princess would sit in a gown on the ground. The cold tile floor numbs my knees sending more chills up my body.

I scooch more to the right so I am in almost the same position as earlier when I saw fathers nook. Searching the area of the room I find Joseph near the corner nook under his blanket. I actually feel sorry and worried for Joseph for once. Father raises the black 22-Caliber pistol when mother stifles another cry. Worried to be noticed I crawl back into the dark.

"Please", she barely whispers as she lays down covering her face. "I love you, thought you loved me. Please."

The sound of the gunshot rings in my ears.

This road to recovery is quite long,
at times I feel so far gone,
life would rock in a band,
friend's lend a hand in quicksand,
had to learn this fact the hard way.

Failed the city,
got struck by an arrow,
the plot took an olive twist,
thought I had thick skin,
I didn't check my marrow,
I became blind to the sparrow,
so I pirated my chest's treasure,
the problem was not the problem,
hard to integrate broken parts,
deceit hides in the arts.

Playing catch-up,
lost the sauce,
cos now the defects are patent,
tan wears off away from the sun,
would be pointless to dress it up,
sin's proved real and so has satin.

Maybe I was shadow boxing,
fighting on the wrong hill,
perhaps this dark night isn't so serious,
maybe I should just chill,
should I ruminate those net flics?

Glad not to have a credit card,
my ledger would not balance,
life is turning to a heath,
some melancholic saga,
acted like a rugrat,
you could hear me going gaga,
played facebook like poker,
seems I played the joker,
was supposed to be a man,
became a cimbwi no plan.

Went ghost to being holy,
I didn't see the flying phantoms,
the wrestle is not a royal rumble,
man's never been hot though he looked warm.

right here before your eyes,
either a warrior will rise,
or another king will take an impending tumble.

Django's unchained gotta pick up what remains.