Cut to the quick
With bluntness

Put down several hundred pegs
Where I languished
Shredded, unravelling

Until the fabric
Of my being
Was reshaped
Resewn

A Montage of Homages:


I’m ever the devoted fool
Trusting dreams as love
I’m ever the stubborn child
Never repenting enough

I’m the lone wanderer of Nevsky Prospect
Trivial like the gadfly against the lofty sky
Overlooked as a dusty tattered Overcoat
Crushed like an ant beneath the Bronze Horseman

When the bright lingers beyond dusk
When the dark, at dawn, hesitant to depart
Am I ever awake through all of time
Or am I to sleep all white days and nights

All I am certain is, that
Only in dreams can we reunite
All I know is, that this
Is the Dreamer’s sole purpose of life




The Saint Petersburg Dreamer
Long for a love beyond common strive
Yet, only exists to slumber through life
To finally awake when the night is nigh

Upon the earth, he’s a mere dust
When the tide arrives, all will be lost

The Saint Petersburg Dreamer
You mustn't have noticed he’s still there
Upon each and every torn overcoat
Every patch resewn: his dreams and love

Puddles of old raindrops,
Fog nipped at those wettened edges,
Dew collected on their uniforms,
Fitted just for them,
Many times had she resewn them,
Each time cutting fingers,
Opening old wounds that bled,
It wasn't her territory and yet,
She endured for them.
Johnathan remembered telling her no,
I'll do it myself, she smiled and handed his torn clothes,
To nothing more than ten.

Today I met God at a crossroads

At first I stood there alone
My feet were bare
My heart my own

I looked at both paths
That lay before me
Both straight- both flat

I turned to my guide
And tried to ask
“Which should I decide?”

Yet before I could speak
Or make a sound
He knew what I should have seeked

“For these two paths are not yours
For they end the same,
They have no lure,
But there is a better one.”

Then I saw a brand new path
With shards of pain and shattered glass.
He showed me a rocky footpath.

“This one is yours.” He said.
“You will find Heaven at the end.”
I felt my heart fill with dread.

“But my feet will burn
From all the cuts.
How am I to walk this one?”

“You must walk with me.”
He said.
With my question answered, he let me be.

At first I thought I was alone
But then I found my heart resewn
It was no longer my own

Then down I looked
To my feet
And I found them covered

Today,
God gave me shoes.

How does one survive the turmoil inside
Doubts of oneself that replay on repeat
Crisis created out of truths put aside
Protecting the truth that caused the defeat


Then to learn no norm will ever be built
Never ever will it even be known
Then comes the shame and of course all the guilt
Damaged further and cannot be resewn

Then swept away with another high tide
Raising the same questions left from the past


Then look above for the reason to hide
Answers not given only added to the last
Then fears brought back upon shores of unreason
Living sadness still in another New season

Left home bleeding of hearts desire
Dwelling on the past, while walking futures tight wire
Magically the wind blows releasing falling leaves that inspire
Through unimaginable sunsets, followed by jungle rain with no rest
My souls salvation is then there transpired
Absorbed by shades of purple, green, black and blue
My life recovery started with the Pai crew
Pulling on life’s dangling thread of the unknown
There I was unraveled, reborn and resewn
Blindly being part of this humans gravity shift
They allowed me to be one of the global misfits
Pai will forever live in infamy as the moment that changed my life
Love and thank you all, until we meet again, next time