one person said: "peace is nothing but illusion
all I want is retribution"
[from "Pure Power" by Zardonic]
that's something I can identify with, which is why
I decided to write this heap of lines
————————————————————————————————
on a shooting range in a boondock la[ɛ]nd
with gloves pU̲t on; sta[ɛ]nd
in front of an autocratic ruler chained
by his hands to two moola safes'
[greed]
handles looking way
like an old-fangled car directing wheel
[steering wheel]
have this die-hard fool restrained
so that he, more or less, is still
I'm not a scho[ɑ]lar who can wave
around a degree in the medics field
but it's obvi this high-hat dO̲U̲chebag's plagued
with megalomania in a neglected condition
but there's a dreadfully effectual treatment
and he'll get it like villains
quite a gruesome fate
is looming upon this power-befuddled ****
like darkened clouds that, beyo[ɑ]nd a doubt, are soon to rain
["dark end"]
like waveriders, he's go[ʌ]nna serve
["surf"]
as a punchbag for I'm in quite a mood to raze
gonna wI̲nd up as nada short
of a ****** loon today
like Battinson, clepe me Vengeance
but I'm more something like the Zorro-looking caped
anti-autocratic vigila[ɛ]nte
from the Norsefire-ruled UK
[V from "V For Vendetta"]
meets someone whose work field's tormenting
like victimizers who pertain
to LE in one tsar-sized off-putting state
[law enforcement]
you know, the one that's go[ɑ]t a putrid trait
of always posing as a side you shouldn't blame (it's all the West!)
now, let's go back to the foul autocrat
————————————————————————————————
like a snotty boss that you disdain
I give this f#cking no[ɑ]b a cool g'day
by douching him from a bo[ɑ]ttle full of straight-
-fro[ʌ]m-a-cooler H2O; just a fE̲w secs break
for him, & once it's U̲p, I ****** this base
creature fro[ʌ]m a stE̲wpot great
with **[ɑ]t-a## noodles aimed into this hU̲mbug's stupid face
[the "hang noodles on the ears" expression]
pepper it with some ground 7-po[ɑ]t to boost the taste
feel how I, like a husband who betrayed
his devoted, yet testy, wife, get rudely gazed
at, racked, beda[ɛ]mned (by who?)
by food-lacking men from Africla[ɛ]nd
[Africa]
ask him: "is the provided food okay?"
zero gratitU̲de displayed
all that comes from this swine's bazoo's complaint
but it's nO̲[ɑ]t that I'm surprised
a classic pro[ɑ]sperous gobshite
repeat the tactic priorly applied
using a bucket full of maroon red paint
[autocrats have blood on their hands, hence "maroon red paint"]
like that music producer famed for dull future bass
I put on his viscous head a **** bucket
[Marshmello]
whereafter pick a wedge up & drum it
[golf wedge]
and, like a heap, I barely get started
[worn-out car]
like an unprepped passenger on an insane car ride
with no seat restraints applied
he's about to have a way hard time
I'm a cosmetic surgeon that operates part-time
fix his blamed jawline in just twain sharp swipes
with a steel bat, then yield some keen slaps
that meet his kneecaps until the knees snap
like the Baba Yaga hitman detached
from his peaceful life by someone ge[ɪ]tting him mad
[John Wick]
get his nails removed
which is pretty much the same that you do
when you repaper a room
[wall nails]
having perforated his fingertips
I get 'em plastered
a few minutes later, I rip them things
off sim. to wax strips
he gets his phA̲[eɪ]lanxes smitten with
a freaking ratchet
[rathet wrench]
pro[ɑ]b'ly, he regrets that his bo[ɑ]dy's still not dead
pick U̲p a pistol, set a drum-like clip in, get
it cocked, then shoot lead around his silhouette
till the clip has zero ammunition left
seems like this once co[ɑ]cky piece of dreck
has gotten his khaki chinos wet
but if I've go[ɑ]t him in a sweat
like a summer jo[ɑ]gger being dressed
in venthole-deficient threads
for this brash dude, there's bad news
like me when I write some sick bloodshed
sadly for him, I've not finished yet (uh-uh)
like a runner who's go[ɑ]t some distance left
to complete, & it's not as dark as things can get
'cause, like the heroine o[ʌ]f M. Streep in "Death
Becomes Her" after falling fro[ʌ]m that string of steps
I've got a somewhat twisted head
[that staircase fall scene with Madeline Ashton]
so consider this as an insult-to-inju[—]ry sesh
————————————————————————————————
grab a brace of scissors
for garden mainte[—]nance; Richard
****** Trager's here ta
get his skills of surgery trained; begin ta
amputate this creature's half-dilapidated fingers
operate at leisure getting 'em disarticulated I̲nto
twenty eight **** pieces
and cauterizing the remains with illuminated cI̲gars
fling into his piggish face some tissues
and some pain relievers
tell this nazissistic patient: "hE̲A̲l up"
["****" in the sense of being "severely intolerant or dictatorial"]
let him relax for eighteen minutes
over the spa[ɛ]n of whI̲ch I put on play "La Chica
Rockabilly" & some other ro[ɑ]ckabilly
jams to make the whole vibe a mite less grisly
like an NA brown bear that is gravely injured
["mightless grizzly"; North American]
(as, in fact, this tragic-fated bleeder)
whereafter spray him with a
["wither"]
can of gas & make his dicta—torial a## go ablaze akin ta
a straw-fabricated figure
during gala days at the late of winter
[Maslenitsa effigy]
telling this piece of trash: "in case you wI̲[ɪ]nd up
in somewhat of Hades, give a
warm shalom to the infamous ******"
consider this autocratic **** a sugar daddy's skirt
'cause he's gotten what he was asking for
————————————————————————————————
oh, & one thing more to say: the
nullified, like ruler's presiding terms, dictator
was known among some as "toilet sprayer"
like a scuttered urinator

Someone moves like a python striking prey,
someone screams at the top of their voice moving away,
and suddenly it's as though I'm back to you and me,
and I relive all the things you'd do to me.

Someone brushes me by; touching my skin,
and a friend kisses me on the cheek with a friendly grin -
but I flinch violently; scared of what might happen, evergrowing eerier
because you used to leave not kisses but bruises laced on my exterior.

Someone is drinking straight from a bottle of whiskey
not caring about his actions which really are rather risky.
And I'm reminded of you and the way you used to drink
and how you'd blame It for the way you'd throw my head against a wall with a clink.

Someone spills wine onto the floor without a care,
but all I can do is panic and stare,
because had that been me when I was with you,
I'd have been your punchbag every waking moment - you know it's true.

Isn't it time,
to stand up for what's right.
Do the right thing.
and for once defend myself?
Am I just going to sit here,
listening to the screaming,
the swearing, the nonsense
coming from the other room?
A closed door, I sit here,
a pillow on my face, crying for
a different life.

I lost myself,
How could I do it again,
No one will ever love her like I do,
But the fear in her eyes…
I am sick,
But when I say I’m sorry and she forgives me.
Maybe it’s alright.
It’s just when I’m drunk,
I’ll stop this time.

Could I forgive him once more?
Am I able to call a drunk my soulmate?
My heart breaks everytime I undress myself.
A scar here, a bruise there, a love... gone?
Can't he see his drinking is
tearing us apart, and above all,
abusing my heart in all ways.
I'm scared.
Scared to look into his eyes.
Frightened to argue with him.
What should I do?

I see her pain,
That’s what makes me drink,
It’s what makes me angry,
I cause this me,
There is no one else to blame,
Except when I’m woozy,
Then it’s her,
It’s the woman’s fault were poor,
That I’m forced to spend all my money on alcohol,
Why she’s bruised? Better than she deserves.
I just… hope I don’t go too far.

If only my current regret,
was something different, to be able to confront.
A regret of him, or a regret of his drinking.
How can I make this relationship work?
When talking leads to screaming,
pouring leads to punching, and
an 'I'm sorry' means nothing at all.
I forgive him, for maybe a change of heart.
Maybe if he sees my wounded soul,
he'll change.
It'll be a dream come true.

When no ones there,
And I’m all alone.
I cry myself to sleep,
In my pathetic little existence,
I am king,
But at who’s expense,
The tax payer is me.
Even if she’s got the money.

Do I make him happy?
He's miserable everyday.
I do everything for him, I even allow myself
to be his very own punchbag.
At what cost?
For his beloved love, that's all I want.
But, if he's not going to provide,
I just have to stand up for myself.
Put in a good word, maybe then,
he'll treat me better.

I can hear her thoughts now.
She’s plotting against me.
The she devil, she’s always against me!
I can’t stand her presence,
It’s foul to the cell,
But I cant be without her either.
When I see her tears,
Even though I know it’s a façade,
I think angel and love and desire above.
Still a conspiracy is a conspiracy,
And its time for me, to do what I do.

No, my mind is going crazy for him.
I must stop, must stop him now.
I'm allowing him to spit on me.
Such shame brought to my name.
I must be crazy, to think that he will change.
He hasn't all this time, and never will.
It's said and done.
This must be a past.
My heart and body needs healing.
But I mustn't see him, I have to leave.
For his eyes drags me to his spell.
I can't take this much longer.

And then it was a dark and dreary day,
When I was fired once again,
Being a drunkard they said,
Well F them.
I came home shaggy, tired and distraught,
These bills just weren’t going to get done.
Life was over anywhere.
But, there was that good old reliable beer,
And I had one, and then more.
When she came home from her mothers,
The house was dark and quiet.
She never knew what hit her,
Thought you wouldn’t have know by her screams and tears.
The blood was the worst,
It got everywhere.

you are the calm of the torrential rain
good from far, get drenched out there
you are the stars in the sky
twinkling from afar, unattainable reality
you are the blue of the horizon
ocean meeting the sky in a straight line
you are the green of the mountain range
jagged here and there with gigantic rocks
you are the blazing hot sun
upfront, upclose, not safe for me to be bare
you are the mellow yellow moon
melting my heart, putting my guard down
you are in my dreams and waking thoughts
making me weep of joy, also of sorrow
you are ...
so much more ...
you are my proverbial shoulder, my punchbag

Your lover is useful
He is the chef only free for you
He is the plumber wouldn't charge you anything
He is the handy IT guy whenever you have problems with computers

Your lover is thoughtful
He would pick you up when you
have to work late, and even
put a mug of warm milk at your bed side
He would prepare everything you need when you're on period, even be your punchbag
He would not judge you when you've done something so wrong that you even regret it
He would even praise you for being regretful

Your lover is beautiful
He has the body that could rival David
He has the face that puts Adonis to shame
He has the disposition so graceful that Cumberbatch be disgraced

Your lover is so good
that you cross the sea to be with him

Your lover is impeccable
(Yet) Your lover does not speak your language

My own brother came down
he used me as his emotional punchbag
he told me I am useless and a hippy
it hurt me very much and was broken and sad

Who needs enemies with my own blood like him
my heart is broken
my mind is full of doubt
all because of him

For over two years when he was ill
I cared for him with his TB and pills
and my reward when he got better
is this.. a ****** kick in the head

I will try to forgive him
but I will never forget
that he did hurt me so much
that I wished I was dead


By Christos Andreas Kourtis aka NeonSolaris

I'm still falling
from when I hit the wall
My lifeless body
had forbid me to crawl
Still quite the punchbag
but not quite the son
Taught the lesson
to know when to run

“Am I allowed to be angry?
Tell me, and be honest,
am I allowed to feel?
‘Cause every time I open up,
your problems are a little larger.
And every time you complain,
I suffer a little.

I am not your therapist,
whose advice you don’t take.
I’m your friend.

Am I allowed to be angry?
Tell me, and be honest,
am I allowed to feel?
‘Cause when I let my anger
out in retaliation.
You are a little angrier.

When will I be allowed to be human?
When won’t I be a punchbag anymore?”

A.V.