Then ye appeared !you , only that my eyes contemplated .my eyes were settled upon thee,you were deep and fresh.i seen thee and i knew that my life changed a great deal.i believed in thee dearly.i have accepted the best and the worst ,and im ready for whatever ! my soul ,my spirit , the virtue within me i dedicated it to thee.i found confidence in thee . and my heart started smiling . i fear not of anything again . cause i believed that for anything that could happen me by thy side , i feel security.though anytime when the ending was approaching , i grew wild with melancholy and felt that gaps of lapse separation as an eternal torment . i could not without thee.i had the nightmares of gloomy dismal nights , indebted out from the lost of dear sweetheart that i regretted . i just wished we were melted , into one same entity . simply i loved you . but more than a real love , baby ! and that love burning within me i would make anything possible that you know it , to its very extend . in the pew by thee it was complete grand happiness . i could only be contented and felt good . the happiest girl in the World! yes indeed by thee im ! i felt thy warmth . thy soul that was rolling in my breathing and thy eyes that turned on me . as projectors light they allured me from within . intense happiness and eternal glory . you are the 'man' ! the supremest , well look out and needed , unique , sage , genuine and ideal . and more what gloom me , thick and deep . yet there was not one or another that attired me to thee . but it was something rather strong than me that i did fail to perceive . that caught hold of me and dragged me , inward thee . that weakness was dominant my soul when i faced thee . as petrified and abashed , nevertheless , im electrocuted when thy hand . that hand touched me , touched the least particle of my body ; i became as found at mortuary . my common appeal is revery . but i could only smile whenever thou art awkward . cause it was in thy eyes . perhaps it was one of thy aspect : a boy so deeply engaged in the quest of lore . mostly when i tried to find out the reason of thy submission , why this life of thine toward me ? as an apocalypse , i received the hammered blow against my head . as your ambition is deep ocean plain of action and suspense , what a sacerdotal for only a boy . now it was clear that thou art the coldest monster of my nightmares , the dreadful one . but i wanted to be told . but thou , dost only speak of present . and i understood then you only accepted me for experimental purpose . somehow lurking desire to use my cast of mind and our conversations as stereotype , to be rushed down right into your mind . and jammed down among other kind mental analyst granted by thy shadowy writers . so much to add a grain of mustard seed to your sage titan anyway ! what i could not understand was the use of my parley in your alembic tube for study that was extended as generalization . when i felt love for you ! you abused me ! dreadful mean ******* ! so i seen that your mind had no limit . so i drew myself hard nearer instead ! truly for instance i seen you just tried to make me happy . not that you felt for me properly . tried to feel the same thing with me . how you kidded me . gush, Heaven ! im the more betrayed and deceived emotionally . your heart , your life were not destined to me im horrified . you really knew that i noticed it but kept the mum . i wanted to talk about it . but always you blanketed the topic . sinisterly feigned not to understand the message out my reaction . and when i copped with the reality that you loved me by pity and intent to narrow my conscience and sap away my mind . that is why you shared partially my mirth and some of my aspirations . what a slaughtering about my heart ad my hole existence ! honey my heart how i loved you its harp and lute praise . now i said a word did you understand that word? but i reckoned that 'love' is story among diverse other tales for you and all those notions were so shallow for you . how i was deceived ! how much i yelled and stomped down and ****** myself into the thin air of agony . im simply forlorn degraded down into company of horror . how much time i dangled down the abyss of desolation . you assassinated my heart . the happiness i felt grasp within my fingers just only eclipsed . vanished for absurdity , a tottering blank , reeled down ****** dream of grand . as the days passed on , i asked myself why? what dealt thee out from having ordinary life ? none was to tell , so i blamed cursed the one that drove thee to this destiny . i wanted to know and explain him . always you were beaming with knowledge and running only for fame and legend . you had forgot thyself ! you are living only for the world and that gloomy empire of sages and learned . foul of fantasy and frivolity . ethereal beauty ! and thee suddenly became a sinister ocean of hulks . you know the nohow . ah! a river of hot tear ripped and drowned my heart grilled ! now let say the truth : you exchanged thy soul against sage and fame . and the gods of lore had subdued thee . yet , nothing but its chain hanging down thy neck . and anytime more when i saw thee , thy face was deepening to the extreme so i now felt that you would be back no more for me . i could understand nothing again : you were lost in mist of terror . so any while i met with thee i drew closer my head at the beating pace of thy heart so to feel how much its speed jammed on more again . when i felt the deference , i reckoned you were nearer to hell . though i packed up and left up my luggage and heeled it away far . i rushed as more speedy as a train . and on the route i took out thy photo and contemplated thy beauty and envied thy freshness and thy innocent humbled face . though beaming from inward with hell . then my heart stopped bleeding . i rummaged your visage through ! thy charm ,thy frankness and thy humor told me that it was another Jack i was fleeing . and thou art an angel and God called thee back . and the other was a demon coming out of hell . so i wiped my tear and raced afar from thee . as i reached the other side i gave thy picture so that they painted it the way i described it , cause it had become the other of thee . that got around out of hell . and within thy face i filled it with pins . and anytime i caressed it as i used before , the stinking of the pins made me believed that thy hatred had become an incurable decease . poor Jack thy life had become obscure , what done that to thee ? poor innocent soul . couldnt thee see ? no i guessed thou art ****** cursed .thy head into books and thy soul settled on fame . tell me why ? although i was more than woman by thy side . my joy , my happiness grand ! but thee , thee wanted not . why tell me . from the deep i could not forget thee . thou art there ! living , _ obscure deep , _sun beaming , _ and also far away . _ _ _ God ; i would never be woman again ! love , i understood no more the meaning and i knew not how to love anymore ... . and you _ i cursed you vehemently to thy books so to assume its consequence ...
