I was dancing on a coffee table
last night and I was so happy
I almost started crying
tears of tequila and realization,
that I am more than enough
for me.

My hair spinning to the beat
and my skirt catching
in the breeze.

I’ve been overplaying
the same Drake songs,
thinking he wrote those lyrics
all for me.

And it’s crazy that I might let
you believe you have ever
had any hold over me.

Impossibility runs rampant within me
Overplaying scenarios lost within the inner land of "what if's" and possibilities
I've been this way as long as I can remember
Simplified emotions, yet my brain is an over-thinker who's job is to make me as miserable as possible
Oh, but to dream like I do
Blessings and a curse if you will
For I have an idealistic imagination
Dreams play out like movies on the big screen when I slumber
On occasion I've turned what I can remember in the morning into a short story
Most lay unfinished, the flow long forgotten
Perhaps lying in wait to see if I'll ever return
This is part of who I am as a whole though, an arrangement of puzzle pieces mostly correctly assembled.
Strong willed, strength embodied.
It took twenty four years to even fathom who I am and at twenty six I finally truly know.
At times I wish others would see who I am right off the bat and understand me.
I just want to share moments with people, to experience love in all forms.
To run wild down the back roads of the country, stay up late exchanging stories.
Being misunderstood can be left open to interpretation.

I am free.

In and out of the scrub, cold networking
Overcooked scenarios, elbowing one another
Out of line to rubber neck the continual
Replay that gets nowhere fast
Overplaying.....on and on, over and over
Push it to the far reaches, it's back
Needles stuck......hic hic hic, Remove it
Eeeeeeeeeek.......
Spinning on silent mode, scenarios upon
Scenario, double dose waiting to be heard
Too late to turn back, already done, dusted
The jelly set, the concrete dried and solid
Get out for one second....take a hike....it's back
After school...teacher dishing out lines
Repeating over and over what you dearly
Want to forget, imprinting, etching a deep
Rut; psyched up ready for battle; but there's
Nothing, noone there who wants to listen
They don't want to know, you or anything
About you....for that matter; Cuts deep
Threading back to childhood rejection
Of recent loss compounding, how little they
Care....knowing what you've been through
It cuts no ice, yet is jagged and raw through
Your flesh remaining.......hic..hic..hic..hic..hic..hic............

On a trip to never-never- land.
the glass ceiling and bottomless plan
I'll never ever land.
Its all part of plan B, by the man,
My sound scans, in never-ever- land.
Never heard by another man.
Gave up on the game - now its
starting to show, on the other hand.
I got doubts, so I dream even more.
These odds against me - I never no
Praying to god, the only time I fold.
A real man, never overplaying my hand.
Bringing more to the table than a brand.
That's just the way it goes,
can’t help how the cards land,
let the facts show.
Time heals everything,
scars let it be shown. You,
let it be known.
The logos, go hand in hand
Two faces – four tone
I’m a standup guy,
On rocky land
Headed home.
First in my class,
last in my caste,
finishing last
now I’m king of the throne.

he pointed out my shortcomings
saying he could sense the darkness inside of me
a woman whose life was full of shine and warm welcomes
with a family of noticeable care and support
her mind was preoccupied with dreams and desires
of creating something, something lasting and true
like a family of four
or a cozy home with a wrap-around porch
of a man with stable goals and concrete intentions
maybe she was too blind to achieve it.
he told me he knew me at heart
but I was afraid of being too open and honest
hoping to shield the world from my confusing observations and unjustified beliefs
she was the pretty girl, the one who everyone loved
and then the dreams darkened their colors
my brain got polluted with grueling ideas

gutting old women and feeding the homeless
stepping in flies to feel the disgust
scalping a man and without second thought,
she devoured his skin and with the money she bought
a considerable amount of paint to be used
on her town, to cover the crimes and abuse

and her family all left her, and life was a slate
my body was opened and laid on display
I began to sense the darkness inside me
and I pushed it to the bottom of the bowl
underneath the self-centered behaviors and opinions I know are not true
but I don't know what I believe, and I have no desire
to dig deeper, to find myself, to know my real wants or reasons for trying
she sits on the surface and underplays individuality
overplaying romance and romanticizing pain
don't let the darkness seep through your pale skin
don't let the hurt soak into your blood because it will taint your beloved purity
he loved the deeper parts of her small broken soul
he gave her the future, the house and the home
I don't know
who I need to be
to fulfill the ache that consumes me
to give him all that he needs
in a lover, a friend, a tempting woman with complicated reflections
on daily things that happen to me.
I'm here for free, but she's taking over me,
designing habits that I never could foresee
...

Overplaying magic
All these comical signs
but I'm blinded by things that disturb my peace
Frequent
A lot of muses and tunes later
I twirl in lust with a man that's in love with my highs
I'm always in my zone
pretending one day my mother would call
I have been through enough
That's why i tend to always
Reflect and reminisce on what's left