Maybe I've seen the Notebook too many times, but the concept of 'If You're A Bird, I'm A Bird' keeps growing exceedingly less absurd.
And ever since I saw A Walk to Remember I've always wanted to name a star after you so there would be two of you, and so I wouldn't have to share the original with the world.
Or was it so you could see the light in you that I see everyday and not only at night?
Alas, I can't seem to remember, but I'm certain it was both.
I've never been in a warzone outisde of my own life, but you've saved me from more harm than any bomb or rifle could inflict so I am indeed The Lucky One.
Whether sitting in silence or drowning in chaotic clamor I remember the first time you sang to me, and I recall my smiling like a fool
Let it be known that albeit I'm not actively seeking death, if it may find me I hope for that to be my Last Song.
Oh, and my darling
let your suspicions now come to light,
for  I indeed have always had an ulterior motive in loving you-
in you loving me.
That is for our love to create a Safe Haven to return to when the world has seemed to drain us of the hope we awoke with.
And yes my love,
I indeed am a bird if that is what you are as well,
but in tandem do I vow to be your Guardian on this Walk to Remember through This Bending Road of life.

I want the world in my hands,
But it's too dak outside for conquering,
I want to touch the stars,
But it's too cold outside for flying,
I need to feel the air,
But the wind will mess up my hair,
I need to hear the birds,
But I'm too afraid of getting hurt,
I want the grass under my feet,
But thorns are hiding out of sight,
I want to relax in the ocean,
But creatures are lurking in the night,
I need to feel the suns rays,
But it's too hot outisde today,
I need to go to school,
But the students there are cruel,
I haven't spoken in months,
Because I'm too afraid of getting hurt.

people have a funny way of showing they care:
i wake up on the right side of bed and wonder
where you really are. the left side is untouched
and misses you, sheets wrinkled because during
the bad nights i reach out for a ghost.

months are passing by,
as they’re meant to.
thinking of you hurts.
thinking of you is killing me.

though all is forgiven;
i know you’ll find the way
to our bed eventually.

we played catch-up
a few weeks back
over cooling coffee
in my old-to-me/
new-to-you
apartment.

"sorry it’s been so long."
you muttered into
the mug, steam clawing
upwards between us. we avoided
eye contact at all costs and allowed
ourselves to pretend we were
elsewhere.

i almost hated you.

winter is here and in my
heart, with only
you to blame for
bringing this *******
apparition into my home.

the season you left in
has a certain chill
that won’t ebb under
today’s sun.

"it’s fine." i smiled
unconvincingly and
placed my coffee to
the side. hands sliding
across the kitchen
table and over your own.

a subtle shiver ran down my spine
as your hands turned around to grip mine
lightly. they were colder than the outisde
snow storm.

i acknowledged my fluttering
chest with a small nod of the head that
made your lips turn up crookedly.
i loved you like that.

eventually,
i took you
to my bed
and we
stayed there
for hours
almost like
lovers.

everything
felt warmer
that way.

morning
threw
itself
between
us;

and that’s when
you found there
were no coffee
grinds left.

"i’ll go to the store." you reassured
me in a deep voice, forgetting to smile
down at my small form. despite
the easygoing grin, i knew you
wouldn’t come home. so i watched
as you tromped down the apartment
stairs and into the waking world
without saying goodbye.

days passed
and there was still no sign of you.
i wasn’t surprised.
living under a roof that lacked
all forms of coffee proved harder
than i thought. and of course,
it was your fault.

days got slower and turned into
fading snapshots i can barely remember now.
i was stuck with a vision of you in my mind
on replay through those insufferable days
and nights. smiling at me like the rest of the
world couldn’t possibly matter.

at one point,
i’d left you a series
angry voicemails.
all i wanted was
to hear you
say my name
again.

that was the day
your mother called
me to let me know
that you’d been hit
right off of 32nd street.

on
the way back
from grocery shopping.

all they could find at the scene:
a body,
torn clothing,
and
two bags of expensive coffee.

now i’m still in our bed.
looking to your side
and wondering
where all that
faith had gone.

and it still hurts.

The music was playing - softly
Standing on the balcony waiting for the fresh almond croissant
People are walking and riding their bikes in the old streets of Paris
A coffee shop and two old chairs outisde waiting for a reunion
I can hear her singing the lyrics and feeling the breeze
High
This moment was precious

I don't know how to exist
outisde of your bed.

My life is a chapped lip.

Blues and yellows forget
Math exists.

I pride myself into being honest
never tell lies - on the outside -
I never tell lies outisde the wall I guard myself with
Outside this wall, I'm the most honest person you'll ever meet

Inside this wall is something
That's doesn't need protection
this wall is imprisonment
This wall is hiding away a terrible monster

And every brick of the wall
protecting my secrets
is another ******* lie

cherry blossoms.
in this still,
you can feel the spring wind blowing at every blossom hugging the branch.
behind it,
a blue, clear sky.
the kind of blue that makes you happy you went outside.
in this still of a cherry blossom tree,
i can see a park were picnics are taking place.
children throwing a frisbee,
not knowing or caring of the pain and hurt outisde this park.
cherry blossoms.
proof of spring.
spring where everything blossoms,
where all is beauty and seeing butterflies near the grass makes you forget.
but this still,
this still of cherry blossoms,
is proof that spring will come again,
and i'll be okay again.

As time goes on I realize more and more about what love and life can be compared
The good out weighs the bad and the bad out weighs the good, its a battle
Wars come and go but my soldiers stay eternal
Some times you win and most of them you lose to what you think is
Realizing certain things can make your mind go in a whirl
Even when the good is right in front of you, doesn't matter who you have by your side
There's may come times where you stop and step outisde of your step and see yourself
Forcing things that have no purpose: obstacles, trials, & tribulations
After that you face the reality of your own SELF
This battle is faced from within; always a war when faced with a reflection of who you are.
The battle scars that you're left with being a reminder of everything you did wrong
Some wounds more deeper than other ones, many last an eternity last.
We fail to realize time is the only thing in loife that we cannot get back
Today, tomorrow, next month, next year may come and we won't be able to know what is
But we're faced with challenges every one of these days
Some of us stand tall and do what is necessary
But for some we coward down and run away from what is right in front of us
Battle scars are the difference between the two
Many of us leave after the scars we get, too coward to stand the sight of blood, sweat, and tears
Then again some of us get this feeling to carry on, not because we have to but it's who we are
Who are you?
Which side of the battle you stand on?
You are a coward or you are a soldier?