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Guep seeb do fug
Uptoob queev buh
Luft goo dub ug
Fleeg dahs luh

Obku *** qwuarsh
Fab go mud marsh

Me go fabroso
Egvar seeg lu
Xybahso
Imba go mu
Cabbo de
Ogg be
James Floss Dec 2019
We chimpanzees proceed
With all available evidence

Oog said Ogg will attack
Bash Ogg’s brain; now!

Wait, Zegg said, we can’t do that
It’s against the chegg convention

Dash the convention!
Rescind what Zegg said

Restrain her, retrain her with
Extraordinary rendition

My petition for retribution
Is my absolute authority

Find Oog; restrain him
Waterboard retrain him

Truth through torture
Trogg exclaimed

Ugg saw all debasement
From Ogg through to Zegg

And what she exclaims
Remains ———————

What’s acted is redacted
And still remains the same
Lawrence Hall Jun 11
Lawrence Hall
[email protected]
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                   A Middle-Aged Sack Boy Yelling into Space
                      While Carelessly Loading the Groceries

“MAN, THIS WEEKEND I’M GONNA:

“CENTRAL PROCESSING UNIT! TLB AMPLITUDE MULTI-MEDIA CONTENT! STREAM VAC STREAM PROFILE VISUAL DISPLAY UNIT SONIC VIBRATIONS IoT KERNEL ZETTABYTE! YOWEE! T-POS VM VE VPN HE DON’T KNOW RAM FROM ROM HA! HA! OS GL LOAD BALANCE LOGIC CATE BIT RATE ALAC ADC AIN’T GOT NO CHI FI IN MY SYSTEMS, DUDE! NT DAC MMORP G FLAC WAV MQA OGG MP3 AAC MQA PHASEY-DAISY DRIVIN’ ME CRAZY! PCM SHE BRAIN-TICKLES ME! OPEN BETA GAIN DRIVER SO SHE’S GOT THIS KID BY HER FIRST MARRIAGE TERMSYNC LOGIN BUT I’M DOWN WITH THAT SHE WRITES MY GRAPHICS CARD IF Y’ KNOW WHAT I MEAN HEH! HEH! AFB METAGAME CHEESE KONAMI CODE LEVEL! GAME MECHANIC BUFFED NERFED LFG LFM GAMERTAG!!!! XBOX CYBERFI SMOKE ME SOME PANAMA RED ELECTRON KOMMANDO! NEUTRON NUGGET PROTON PROTEAN A PRIEST A RABBI AND A WITCH-GODDESS TRANSPORT INTO A NEUTRON BAR SLIDERULERS OF THE UNIVERSE DON’T BOGART THAT BIOME AND THEN I GOT ME A WEEK’S VACATION COMING…!”

(Don’t forget the dog food)

— The End —