He is small
And quiet
In the seat
Beside me,
My invitations
To join
Gathering
At his feet.
He shrugs
My touch from
His shoulder
And
Squeezes
His eyes
Tight
Against the shudder.
I watch the shine
In his eyes
Grow bold
Into tears.
He sets his jaw
And swallows
A whisper,
“You were crying again.”

Notice the way they fall apart
Maybe today was hard
There's help along that keenest sense
Asylum for the marred.

Notice the mingling of the light
With its fate-all counterpart
Notice the nuanced little things:
They'll light your lonely heart.

Notice the talent in this world
Beyond that glowing screen!
In steady gaze, the fall is known
To sharpen every deed.

And notice the gift of this embrace
A noticer often gives
How heavenly the table
When spirit truly *lives

[ ] Everyone notices I’m angry
[ ] But no one notices that the anger is all of my suppressed sadness
[ ] For once just trying to be heard

[ ] They see the fire, but not the ashes it’s built on
[ ] They flinch at the spark, but never ask what lit it
[ ] People always blame the wildfires for blazing
[ ] But without the sun there would be no fire
[ ] Yet still no one ever blames the sun

[ ] Maybe that’s why I give so much
[ ] If I shine warm enough, maybe they won’t fear my flame
[ ] Maybe if I love loud enough, someone will see past the smoke
[ ] Maybe if I pour enough light into others
[ ] They will feel warm enough to stay

[ ] I am the caretaker
[ ] The noticer
[ ] The lover
[ ] The giver
[ ] Because it temporarily heals the part of me that needed that back
[ ] But as always
[ ] My efforts are one sided
[ ] And I’m left in a never-ending loop

[ ] I’m desperate for someone to understand me the same way
[ ] I see people’s pain
[ ] I feel their emotion changes
[ ] I sense their struggles
[ ] I listen to their worries
[ ] All because I know what it’s like to deal with it alone
[ ] I’m empathetic because I know how hard it is to live in my own shadows
[ ] And still be blamed for not shining as bright

[ ] I care with such a passion
[ ] Make myself such a prominent guiding figure in people’s lives
[ ] Because maybe if they see how much I care
[ ] If they stay long enough in my warmth
[ ] They will see that my fire doesn’t actually burn so bright
[ ] Maybe they will notice
[ ] Notice all the things I never say
[ ] Notice all of the pain carved into my soul
[ ] Into my skin

[ ] I’ve lit a thousand candles for others
[ ] But no one ever stopped to ask
[ ] Who lit me
[ ] They only see the flame when it lashes out
[ ] Not the wax that’s melted in silence

[ ] I am not dangerous
[ ] I’m not the blaze you want to blame
[ ] Just a candle burning low
[ ] Holding tight to a fragile flame
[ ] Afraid to burn out alone

[ ] Sometimes I wish I could just stop trying
[ ] Stop pretending this weight isn’t crushing me

[ ] But I keep going because I don’t know how to be any other way

[ ] And maybe if they looked a little closer
[ ] They’d see I was never trying to burn anything down
[ ] I was trying to survive the arson I was born into
[ ] Trying to stitch warmth into a body that’s always been cold
[ ] Trying to glow in a world that only praises the sun
[ ] And punishes anything that flickers

[ ] But no one mourns a candle when it goes out
[ ] They only curse the dark it leaves behind