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K Dec 2017
2017 was an alcohol,
that cuts through your throat,
alone or with friends.
But you still drink it, anyway.

2017 was writing my first poem
published for the world
when I thought I’ll stay silent,
words were there. Still.

2017 was the first tattoo
on my body. I loved my skin enough
that I inked & hurt it.
The irony.

2017 was ocean, sandy toes,
and tan lines.
It was the strong waves
and also the calm.

2017 was loving everyone
I love, unconditionally.
Even if I was hurt.
Even without replies.

2017 was going to the gym,
with the mindset of vanity.
Of looking good,
but not feeling good.

2017 was body image issues,
from skinny to thicc thighs,
starvation and stress eat.
It was never contentment.

2017 was cutting my hair short
when I wanted it to be long.
And I regretted it
right after.

2017 was everything except self love.
It was pain, hatred, pride & anxiety
waking me up in the middle of the night
and keeps me up all night.

I wanted to write something
without biterness & hate
but I’m sorry it turned out like this.
2017 was being sorry most of the time.

Sorry for being this way,
and being alive but ungrateful.
Sorry for sticking to my last hope,
that’s all I’ve got.
and I’m sorry, but I’m still fighting.
Simon Monahan Dec 2017
The Earth has run another race round her star
The Two Thousand and Seventeenth year (give or take)
Since the Creator drew breath in history
And now the manuscript is bound, it is sealed
Soon to be sent to the Printer

The Editor-in-Chief does not delegate this task
He leafs through the pages Himself
Though newly-bound, they are not white and fine
There is no fresh crispness, the binding is broken
They are musty already with age, and not only age

It is as if they had been soaked in a tea of human filth
A quarter of it printed in red, blood is cheaper than ink
A quarter of it stained with jaundice, sweat is cheaper than ink
A quarter of it wrinkled illegible, tears are cheaper than ink
A quarter of it, alas! - dreams are cheaper than ink

The Editor reads on, impassive, unfazed
He has long been familiar with Adam’s work
This sequel follows well upon its parent
Consistent in a thousand fires and slaughters
Consistent in a thousand lies and eruptions

Every chapter is headed with a dedication:
“For Death, the only mother I’ve ever loved”
In the foreword the author declared himself immortal
In the afterword he declared mortality an illusion
But the body was an essay on how much he dreaded his demise

Adam sat, nervous, across from the Editor’s desk
He had worked so ******* this
And yet it seemed to write itself
This was his life’s work
Though he never seemed to call the shots

The year Opinion Popular declared secession from the union
And Reality Objective became a Prisoner of War
And we resold our birthright for whatever was on the menu
The old had questions that nobody questioned
And the young had answers that nobody answered

And the Editor looked at Adam with tears in His eyes
And Adam asked if his draft would be published
And the Editor said that there was no alternative
And Adam asked, “What next, then?”
And the Editor told Him, with a sad smile

He told Adam to start work without delay
To begin immediately the next sequel
Because he only had a year before the deadline
And no extensions whatsoever would be granted
And Adam got up to leave, to write -

“But before you go -

“Look here, look close, you may have to squint
But look what you’ve scribbled here, in the margins
Read the footnotes very carefully
And every word in parentheses
And all these that you’ve bracketed”

There is hope scribbled in the margins
And they loved in the footnotes
They were embracing inbetween parentheses
Some of those sobs were even tears of joy
And in the brackets, O, what he had bracketed!

He had bracketed all those who labored to rebuild
The bridge-builders, the peace-makers
The dream-builders, the light-seekers
The school-builders, the truth-teachers
The home-builders, the wound-healers

He had bracketed numberless beautiful births
He had bracketed charity of mother and father
He had bracketed heroic sacrifice, all selfless
Men and women who loved family and country and God
Far more than they loved themselves

“Let’s make this the focus of the next edition.”
Happy New Year!
sara Feb 2019
you are
the best thing
to ever happen
to me

you make me feel
so loved
so important
so worthy

you treat me
so well
and i know
i will never
love anyone
as much as i
love you

the day i met you
really was
the first day of my life

but of course
nothing that perfect
could ever last

i ****** it up
i made a mess
of our beautiful
love story

i'm impulsive
i'm irrational
i'm selfish

and you deserve
so much more
than what i
can give you

i know
i need to stop
hurting you
and so

i love you now
and i will love you
always

you were
the best thing
to ever happen
to me
Andrea Cruz Mar 2022
5 years ago today
I let myself go
Unraveled her
To cling onto you
Heart beats like butterfly wings
Fluttering through the night
Simply from a confession
That quenched my internal starvation
I couldn’t believe I could finally feast
Couldn’t believe my eyes

Branded that validation
Hot wired my heart strings to your rhythm
To that one word
That forever remains
Even though you changed

Now I’ve changed
And you’ve stayed the same
Nothing but indecisiveness running in your brain
Nothing but words that stained a clear frame
Tainted and tarnished but art all the same
Of an almost was because you messed it all up

I knew i wasn’t enough for years
But you never diminished those fears
You reinforced them time and time again
I could fall at your knees
And you’d look past me
Simply because she was there
You just didn’t care

I watch you now fall apart
Because she’s wrapped in diamonds
All you have is string
How does that sting?
You lost the one you’d risk it all for
I watched you walk out the door
Begging to give you even more

Reminiscent on a night that’s a tattooed date
Although our fate didn’t align
I regret that wasted time
On an almost was
Not even a what used to be

A different headspace of validation
That ended in confusion and frustration
Because you couldn’t commit
I’ve closed up my walls with superglue
Im scared to encounter another you
So I quarantine

I wish her well
Down the well she falls
Hits the emptiness of stone
She’s all alone

She’ll find a way out
Screams and shouts aren’t loud
Her silence speaks volumes
Self conversation that leads her to a ladder
To save herself from her demons of worthlessness

I’ve seen her,
That’s me.

— The End —