I do love
But it ain't quite
like the Discovery Channel!!!

I want so much more than
the collective desire of Park Avenues

I believe like,

With exactly no doubt
like zero are the hours
which can never count
upon the seamlessness
of my perceptions

I do but I don't
I am and therefor not

I talk in mirrored tongues
I observe in uncanny detail

Micro and macro all a flow
overly ever rushing torrents
moving galaxies about

Pouring in
more rushes out

You can picture it
over the mighty edges of
and rushing to, fro and about
every swirling an obstacle stout

Though such knows not
one another in such ways
inseparable upon one journey

As She manifests from her he, Self
He's giving for he gets the She of,

An ever persuasive passionate,

Play... .. .

Greater than the dreams

We know of love yet
Shy to conceive

They, their passion
.........
  .....
   ...
    "
    '
We inwardly receive

Those torrential lovers
pourings do spillover
and on and over
and rush upwards
ah ever more easily!!!

Vast sensualities
******* rhythms
of this a, Our universe
in micro exotic intoxicating
allure, irresistibly entwining
the smallest tastes and teases
of songbirds loving symphonies

As butterfly and a bee in the ever
sweet scents of psychedelic sighting
wavings in ever inviting ever ripening
ever flows of heavens manna sweets, but
sours the way short where some say sinners
ought never see or be, though such is silliness see,

For such shy glimpses of what is less than momentary
which is not countable, when our greatnesses will carry on
beyond our redemptions of what only we shall see clearly so
simply, one day twas the dark night of a soul, here blasphemed
about the sacredness of all ever evident being so close found fondly,

Sweetly, though lost in those ever aching wishes of our journeying together

Would death be ****** abandonment at all a freaky thing unconceived
dark night of the great light conceived viewed in our ever grace and beauty
but she lets you feel her he's and all the glory, all the glory an unrealized being
in all our collectiveness has not yet seen but in the depths of where it's consider dark
for simple decisions we all have and must have made to function here, there

and at all,
at once...

No time, no space, no EMC squared's
yet in Newtonian fashion the soul spirit remains
carries on in infinite motion and motions of our choosings
and for better and worse we do all about the same for we
were never thrilled about all the separation we discovered
in reluctance and or in blessed joys of great companies
of loving hearts, eyes, ears, arms with tender loving
caring hands of nurture enough twas enough for
you are still here now and those who have not
have forgiven all other misguidance eagerly
when it is easily found tis only our own
choice to be and set free freely

And I can want any petty desire too
and put myself up for adoption to,

The petting zoo
and you...

For hell yeah I want to be here
all the way and with you
my wayfarers

I Do...

do do dee da da
oo la la and ma mama

childs all of such grace
we oft just call gods

And greater love seen
dispensed philosophically
by self proclaimed atheism's

Denialism can rather be the truth
of atheism, self pitying so deeply
resenting the here now for some
overly wishful thinkings and
of mournful emotionalism's
about the 'it just ain't fairs'

Beware they will take you
to their wheres, wearing
their wares of self hate
while glossfully
painting in
glitterings
of fools
gold

Feign not thou
we are co conspirators
already decidedly agreed
agreeably dancing on the sharp
end of one pointed pin, hand holding

But remember if we were ever shaken
off of binding bonds ever closefully as
the chasms of divergences really are

We still ever dance ever lightly on
the everly fine poignancy of pin

And the illusion of being
garden casted for some
shamefully blameful
denials of the snakes
sly fashion to even
ones need of feed

And or wither from
the long and short
of journey with
the ever's of

here now...

Paradise
Perfectly

Paradoxically

In our
every
way

So I am
in great hunger
greater thirst firstly

For the one great illusion
desert stricken for not seeing
the forest of paradise for every
tree and every grace of all possibility

Without such would come from impossibility*

Once Again...

Hold you're head up
Even when you're fed up.

Frustrations making a mess
Of what we call rest

Stress wishing away you're senses
Pretend we're stronger but you'll
Still falter away

As the day passes, the world around us dissapates. We create and destroy.

The yin n yang at the tip of each fang.
We devour the sour taste of suddle mistakes.

Drown ourselves in lakes just to take us away with its current.
Burn it and watch the surface act with purpose.

Lurking through the deepest corners of our minds we tend to find kind as a reflective act towards those who shine. With hopes and ambitions to brighten our own light.
Its like we're terrified of what we might omit of ourselves so we just intend to dwell in darkness that leaders feed us, meant to send us into our own misguidance.

Fight till the sun sets and we might find these colors tend to make sense when we vibrate ourselves into existence.

M.E.A

I was the frightened little kid
Who got pushed against the wall.
I wasn’t terribly masculine
Had acne and was not very tall.
Or maybe it was my intelligence
Or artistic talent that drew the ire.
It was an ever-changing list
That drew my fellow student’s fire.

Maybe it was that my game
Was never quite there for sports.
Or maybe when I did not join
On jokes about **** and other sorts
Of woman demeaning quips
They had to have learned at home.
Parental misguidance one oh one
Not learned at school on the roam.

Whatever it was, I got beaten
And locked inside my own locker.
And I got called ***** and ***.
Now isn’t that a big fat shocker?
I got shoved around in hallways
And knocked out cold by a creep.
I didn’t even know the ****
But he decided to put me to sleep.

And when the faculty was called
I was suspended along with the guy.
The school’s policy it seemed
Was to punish both kids. Ask why.
I asked and I was told sternly
That the school really did not care
The attacker and the attacked
Had the same punishment to share.

Now, in this case, the attacker was
Known to be a ruffian and a miscreant.
And I was known to be a wimp.
So why give me unusual punishment
When I was already being punished
For not being some kind of snorting ****?
This was like the school system
Giving my jaw an extra and official sock!

It would be nice to say about this
That it was a totally isolated incident,
And that principals seldom pass out
This officially thoughtless kind of punishment.
But I heard that line so many times
I could have lip-synched right along with him
As the principal mouthed a policy line
From a time grown distant and dangerously dim.

School gym coaches called us girls
If we didn’t keep up with hand-picked brutes
Who enjoyed inherited musculature
And bigot approved physical attributes.
So those of us who were who we were
And could not manage mow down the men
At the line of scrimmages
Were called ‘lils’ and fairies once again.

Sneaking in my house parents alseep . you ask me if you should leave.
a three hour drive  here , now, 3 am  
a lover who was left
boomeranged back and I didnt want to abandon you
The answer that would have led to another life for me
leave now what are you doing here show some respect!
instead we danced
And relived our trained puppet record
parental misguidance is easy to follow
love doesnt want to abandon
lust until it stings

Fashion: a route for evil through peer pressure,
Capitalism survives,
But to the poor’s detriment.
Shallow fascias causing positive fallacies among the young,
Not yet wise to see the lies in disrespect of life’s worth.

Actions; the result of Misguidance.
Misguidance serving as a detraction.
From the original intention,
Being a blissful destination,
Curtailed by selfish manifestation.

Imbued by he; the wicked one,
Unable to see his own futility,
For all his destruction will be undone.
The attraction of fame all among the young,
A shortcut in the name of the wicked one,
To hear personal virtues, in a repetitive melody, sung.

But is, in actual fact, a bypass to facile wealth,
With virtues slackened to result in unrighteous health.
The most vicious attack but done so in stealth.
Infiltrate minds to manipulate thought;
Pulling the strings, of you puppets, taut.

Puppets we may be, but with minds of our own.
Misguided we’ve been but we’ll never lose tone.
We push on and on and achieve greatness on the way.
Perpetually, we strive to find our way.
To the original destination,
Of love’s manifestation,
Of a blissful intention,
After Satan’s annihilation.

touch me just enough to awaken a tingling sensation
brush your soft fingers yet long polished nails along the canvas of my body
a shade of sapphire blue
- gems on all fingers yet you bear no rings -
paint me an image that is invisible yet imprinted through frail motions
paint me an image that the blind can see, the mute can reiterate and the deaf can transcribe
we speak braille reading off each others pages
"love, misguidance, illiterate"
you are a book and i am awaiting to place my bookmark deep along the spine of your paperback.

My eyes formed steps that followed and fled
round the bend of failed yesterdays,
stuck in the gullet of unswallowed breath

I could not read painful pages, I turned them
over, leafing my way through misguidance,
judgement had borrowed me for may years

Guilt spun grey thread, caught hold and wrapped
manipulatively, indecisive nature grew to self destruct
the analytical marching song chose the day

Sleep shades the burning sun from breaking
flesh, seeks out to rebuild the view from my eyes
the curtains drawn held me in shadowy shawls

where rest found energy to stand in line for
tomorrows envelopes to drop on the mat before
me, would I dare to open, release the sealed contents

The secrets held in calm times, released in raged rage
hurled with force, reclaiming head of the table, yet....
never to be spoken aloud...... for fear attaches itself

Try, my love; try to open the doors to real pathways
It's running water under my floating house
in the ocean of uncertainty and misguidance now.
I can't live in this, I gotta move!

Look, watch as the tides show you that I can't play alone; another raft is waiting
A future home based on unreadable waters.
But we can't wait anymore, we have to move!

The fingers are pointing to different eyes every time you seek it,
but I'll still believe in man's second chance.
I'll move on now, but I'll come back to see if you're ready.

Is there a grudge that you're keeping, because I'm not coming back to fix that.

leave    me    be

every guidance
a misguidance

growth is all I need

my inner law is strong enough
i won’t need any lawyers

no one to judge me but
two blue eyes in my mirror
ancient present from grandma

the first step - the highest -
was acceptance

what follows
should be equanimity

So I looked back and I saw, I saw what I’d never seen before.

Looking back on what was I often have a different view
Of what went on between me and you.
Raising question of which aren’t necessarily true.
You know,
I look inside with these jealous eyes
And start to pry at why I tell those lies.
To manipulate those around me
Use personal misguidance
To gain ahead to get to you in my bed,
And then, you’re in my head.
And you won’t leave.
I could try to forget you but that’s just you Inside me,
like I was in you. Like neither of us even knew what to do
Genital to genital a spectacle most awkward.
But after time we moved forward
And it got better.
I’m telling you this that from the moment that I met her,
It hit me like a fist to the jaw and the back of my head on the cold hard floor.
And all I could do was cry out for more,
The shock of that blow
Was only to show that there was something in there.
Like that time
Lying naked and bare I presented myself to you,
No words needed to be said, even if I tried they’d be suppressed by your bed.
Each blanket and pillow would swallow me whole
Hindering me from my final goal so I’d shut it. Close it and bury the lot
Be content with what I’ve got.
I never said how I felt cause you’re scary,
That’s right, you frighten me.
You still do so I was always useless to you.
I was an object.
A mere physicality a means to an end
Yet something you still had to hide from a friend.
Were you ashamed of us?
I know I’m not ideal with the abs that aren’t made of steel,
All my imperfections aren’t there to make you feel like a ******* Goddess
Still you don’t have to impress because I’m here.
But why am I here?
And I thought you were making it clear that time when you didn’t seem to care if your parents could hear.
Harder, faster, pull my hair
And I’d be praying to god that your dad weren’t at the bottom of that stair.
But when It was done that awkward silence was never fun,
It was never a breathless moment
Or a somber embrace, I could tell that much from the look on your face,
Like I had to leave,
So wiping the sweat from my brown with my sleeve
I’d get dressed, always knowing that you were less than impressed
With the moment that we were trying to conceive.
So what was that blow trying to show?
You know, that one from before with the metaphor about my head on the floor.
I might digress but Its only guess that there’s more to it than the ***,
See I met you when my brain was nothing more than brain stew
And so my heart latched on to you,
I did the best I could do.
Well that’s not entirely true but we do what we do.
I spent a lot of my life convincing myself  I’m a **** up
So maybe when the time came all I could do was get my **** up,
But that wasn’t enough, I mean it filled you but it didn’t fulfill me,
You see the point of that blow was to show
Not to you but to my ego
That if you label yourself as a five
You going to lose the drive to
Become the ten,
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again
I’m not beautiful, I’m suitable
Practical adaptable
And **** right Compatible
And It does matter still
And I mean it to, I’m saying it to you and you and you.
No one is better than the person you are
Beautiful is a word and to compare yourself to it is only absurd.
Embrace the face that your parents created
Because your image will never be out dated
It’s yours. I am who I am and you are who your are
This body may scar, and my tears may fall
But none of that even matters at all
Because I’ll find someone who will make me ten feet tall.
That man couldn’t be any nearer
One day he’ll be staring back in the mirror
With a smile so wide and a heart full of pride
That those eyes staring back are no longer tainted and black
But clear and blue and it will feel fresh and new.
But until that day I’ll continue with meaningless ***,
Alcohol and cigarettes,
sleepless nights and random fights
And all the other ******* that goes with it.
**** it.

Hate and spite
Horror and death
Shadow and misery
They think they know me.

Thievery and misguidance
A cigarette for cancer
Creature from the dark
Best to cross the street
As they judge me from afar.

Try to approach and you may find
That there is more to the scene
More than they cared to see

Take off the mask; unveil the truth
A soul lost on this plane, outcasted.
Thrice bitten, forever burned.
Learned not to expect, never to trust.

A spirit to befriend, loyal beyond the rest.
A jokester, an adventurer, a person.

More to the picture than the draping curtain,
They never cared to pull it aside, they were too afraid.
Yet you are here, to stand by my side, one of few.

Tonight we feast and raise our glasses high
A salute to you and those alike who braved the shallows
And offered a greeting.

Down the shot, experience the burn;
An echo of those who didn't try, those who will never know.
Those too shrouded by judgmental hubris.

Put them aside, they no longer matter
As for with this ring, it is you and I
Together forever, couldn't ask for one better.

To the one who lifted the mask,
The one who went the extra step,
The one who holds me together,

I love you.

With every word, with every misguidance
This sharp, unbearable thing that digs into the center of me.

This sweetness that I salt ‘till it is nothing but undrinkable sea water.

This love wrapped in the ribbons of Death; almighty Death-

The end of human connection.

O People,
I have become your Sultan,
Break your idols after your misguidance,
And worship me...
I do not reveal myself always,
So sit upon the pavement of patience
Until you can behold me.

Leave your children without bread,
Abandon your women without husbands,
And follow me…
Praise God for His grace,
For He has sent me to write history,
And history cannot be written without me.

I am Joseph in beauty,
No golden hair like mine has God ever created,
No prophetic forehead like mine,
My eyes...
A forest of olive and almond trees,
So pray always that God may protect my eyes.

O People,
I am Majnun Layla,
So send me your wives to bear my seed,
And send your husbands to give me thanks.
It is an honor to eat the wheat of my flesh,
An honor to pluck my almonds and figs,
An honor to resemble me…
For I am an event unseen
For thousands of years.

O People,
I am the first, the most just, the most beautiful,
Among all rulers.
I am the full moon of darkness, the whiteness of jasmine,
I am the first inventor of the gallows,
And the best of the messengers.

Whenever I think of leaving power,
My conscience forbids me…
Who, then, shall rule after me these kind souls?
Who shall heal the lame, the leprous, the blind after me?
Who shall bring life to the bones of the dead?
Who shall draw the moonlight from his cloak?
Who shall send down the rain upon the people?

Who, tell me,
Will flog them ninety lashes?
Who, tell me,
Will crucify them upon the trees?
Who, tell me,
Will force them to live like cattle?
And die like cattle?

Whenever I think of leaving them,
My tears flow like a cloud,
And I put my trust in God…
And decide to ride upon the people
From now until the Day of Judgment.

O People,
I own you
Just as I own my horses and my slaves.
I walk upon you
As I walk upon the carpet of my palace.
So bow to me when I rise,
And bow to me when I sit.

Did I not find you one day
Between the pages of my ancestors?
Beware of reading any book,
For I read on your behalf.
Beware of writing any speech,
For I write on your behalf.
Beware of listening to Fairuz in secret,
For I know your intentions well.
Beware of reciting poetry before me,
For it is a cursed devil.
Beware of entering the grave without my permission,
For that is a great sin among us.

And keep silent when I speak,
For my words are a sacred Quran…

O People,
I am your Mahdi, so await me!
And my blood pulses in the heart of the vines,
So drink me.

Stop all the hymns that children sing
In love of the homeland,
For I have become the homeland...
I am the One, the Eternal,
Among all creatures.

I am stored in the memory of apples,
The flute, and the blue melodies.
Raise my portraits above the squares,
Cover me with clouds of words,
And marry me the youngest of brides…
For I do not age.

My body does not age,
My prisons do not age,
And the instruments of oppression in my kingdom do not age.

O People,
I am Al-Hajjaj; if I remove my mask, you will know me.
And I am Genghis Khan,
I have come to you with my spears, my dogs, and my prisons.
Do not resent my tyranny,
For I **** so that you do not **** me.
I hang so that you do not hang me.
I bury you in mass graves,
So that you do not bury me.

O People,
Buy me newspapers to write about me,
For they are displayed in the streets like prostitutes.
Buy me green, polished paper like the grasses of spring,
Ink, and printing presses.
Everything in our time is for sale,
Even fingers.

Buy me the fruit of thought,
And place it before me.
Cook me a poet,
And serve him among my dishes.

I am illiterate,
And I have a phobia of what poets say.
So buy me poets who sing my beauty,
And make me the star of all covers,
For dancers and actors
Are never more beautiful than I am.

Buy me all that cannot be bought
On this earth or in the sky.
Buy me
A forest of honey,
And a pound of women.

For with hard currency,
I purchase what I desire.
I buy Bashar ibn Burd’s poetry,
Al-Mutanabbi’s lips,
And Labid’s odes…

For the millions in the House of Muslims’ Wealth
Are an ancient inheritance of my father,
So take from my gold
And write in the great books
That my era…
Is the era of Harun al-Rashid…

O Masses of my land,
O masses of Arab nations,
I am a pure soul sent to cleanse you
Of the dust of ignorance.
Record my voice on tapes…
For my voice flows like a green fountain,
Like Andalusian melodies.

Capture me, smiling like the Mona Lisa,
Gentle as the face of Magdalene.
Capture me,
With my dignity, my grandeur,
And my military staff.

Capture me
As I sever the people’s necks like apples,
Capture me
As I hunt a deer or a gazelle.
Capture me
As I tear poetry apart with my teeth,
As I drink the blood of the alphabet.
Capture me
As I carry you upon my shoulders to the eternal abode!

O Masses of my land,
O masses of Arab nations,

O People,
I am responsible for your dreams, when you dream,
I am responsible for every loaf you eat,
And for the poetry
You read behind my back.

For the security apparatus in my palace
Informs me of the birds’ whispers,
And the secrets of the ears of wheat,
And of what happens inside the wombs of pregnant women.

O People,
I am your jailer, and I am your prisoner,
So forgive me.

I am the exiled one, within my own palace,
I see no sun, no stars, no flowers of oleander,
Since I came to power as a child,
And the circus men gather around me—
One blows a flute,
One beats a drum,
One polishes my boots,
One kisses my hands…

Since I came to power as a child,
No advisor has ever told me "No,"
No minister has ever dared to say "No,"
No ambassador has ever stood against me.

They have taught me to see myself as a god,
And to see the people, from my balcony, as dust.

So forgive me…
If I have turned into a new Hulagu,
I have never killed for the sake of killing,
I **** only to entertain myself.

By Arcassin Burnham


All I want is for a Chance to get a life and better myself without
Misguidance,
All I want is my own room and my own bed to sleep in because it's what
I never had and,
All I want is to spend the holidays the right way and want everybody
To get in the spirit,
But Right Now , All I want is to get away from here,
Please Lord can you grant my wish cause I don't wanna live
In fear,
Tell me do I really ask for much..
Didn't occurred to me that I mattered that much..
Maybe because I use to care so much...

/

I would say I'd surrender but I've fallen out,
you and me have to agree that everyone has
a choice to deal without,
different degrees of light don't really make a
difference,
you and I could be more than just distance

And when the lights go down and moods set
Mellow
And your eyes are filled with water,
And your face turns purple,
With the pale moon light,
And the devils screaming hello,
From afar,
Just mocking who you are.

In 8th grade
We had a long absence due to the misguidance of friends
Because of jealousy
At the end of the year,
We slowly began to talk once more
You explained the terrors of your parents divorce
Leaving out the big details
We weren't close yet
Freshman year
I spent long evenings at your house
And ate dinner with your religious family
The summers we spent laughing until the early hours of dawn
You spoke more about your father
You explained the significance of the night he spat in your face
Exclaiming his hatred for you
This broke you down to nothing but crushed pieces of a human
In the second term of sophomore year
You didn't come to school
Teachers asked where you were and I tried to make it subtle
You missed over three months that year
Junior year
Your absences racked up
You missed school for "surgery excuses"
You couldn't put your shoes on
You lost clothing items
Senior year
You were home schooled
I was forced to walk idly around the school like a hopeless ghost
Wishing for the friendship you and I had
Wishing for someone who cares
That's your favorite
You dont care about anything
You're selfish
You have no goals set up for yourself at the end of the tunnel
Your long distance relationship came to an end because you lost feelings
But I've been missing my first love since march and you've been telling me to just
"Forget about it"
Its not that easy, you say it is.
You are defensive
You're excuse is the depression
You want to up the dose of your medication
You know, sometimes people say you need to just get over your depression
That's equivalent to saying "HEY! YOUR EMOTIONS ARENT VALID",
Which is exactly what you did to me
I'm not trying to degrade your depression
I've been there
But you've placed yourself in the bottom of the pits for three years
And no one can help you anymore
Its up to YOU to pull yourself out
Stop depending on temporary people to breach your armor of happiness
It never works
Ive been there
Take care of yourself
Take a shower
Brush your teeth
Wash your face
Look in the mirror
Tell me if you love the person who looks back at you
I dont think you do..

There are circles around my eyes that I trace
in dark streets, trying to find
my way home. A mind of clogged dust
settles on my shoulders, stagnant
and old. My hands are blue and heavy, slow
with ice. Hair hangs, sodden,
thick with burden.
My skin is rotting.
The sun winds around my body,
spinning me, dizzying me,
making me lose my way
as compass needles
stitch their tracks into the earth,
lines of misguidance
taking me absolutely
nowhere.

You are a broken clock
Fixated on keeping time
Persistent on my eyes to watch
As the years go by
As I've lost my pride
You continue to lie
And now routine has become the devils alibi
Lost concepts of freedom and love
Float but do not stay in my mind
I am programmed to keep within the hours
Despite their misguidance
Despite their need to hurt and contain
Shatter and refrain
You are a broken clock
That I thought I could fix
But my hands are sore
And my heart is weary
And the time has never changed

So typically
I find myself
The cause
Of my own misfortune
Misguidance
And misery

i love you
i still do
im still fooled

i thought you said those things
genuinely
gently whispered
from lips that tasted so good
turns out
to be all in naught

a sweet misguidance
one i chose to believe

a belief that i thought that you loved me