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David Nelson Sep 2011
Out Behind the Barn

me and Jimmy Dickens
were in the barnyard feeding chickens
we were both 11 about that time

when up the road came Susie Kasper
with her cousins Ted and Jasper
a couple of teens headed for a life of crime

they signaled out to us
I could hear Teddy cuss
they walked up and whipped out a couple of butts

they said here take a puff
if you like this I got better stuff
so I did just like a dumb old klutz

I coughed and I wheezed
I farted and then I sneezed
my eyes were leaking like a sieve

Jimmy was smarter I guess
but he too finally said yes
took a hit and felt the burn of a shiv

we both puked as they laughed
it was there very special craft
they always managed to make you look like a fool

but they patted us on the backs
said boys now just relax
you won't learn a lesson like this in no school

then Susie gave me a big wet kiss
wow sure wasn't expecting this
I was in a trance until I heard this horn

it was my mom back from the store
she yelled someone help me with this door
but I was busy gettin educated out behind the barn  

Gomer LePoet....
Phil Mar 2011
Do you have curly hair?
Is the top of your head not bare?
When in the shower, and using shampoo, do you have to take care?
Even when shampooing a mare?
Well then, I have a story to share.

My hair is curly, and it is a Jew Fro.
Its totally badass bro,
And bigger then your big toe.
After this poem, to a party I go.

The Fro is made of little curls,
It doesn’t help get pretty girls,
Hopefully it won’t make them hurl.

Never sticky guarantee
It enlightens me,
And helps with tai chi
Unfortunately I have no key,
What’s worse is Kasper is a DDD.

Every now and then, it gets slicked back by Shoes,
In any way in which we choose.
When the cows see it they all give moos,
I think those kids deserve some *****.
JWU!
Please don’t sue,
Because, I really don’t have a clue.
BOO! Let us surprise you with a dijeridoo.

If left unwashed it gets *****,
Not as bad as a kid named Klappy.
Sometimes he transforms into Slappy,
But if you ask me, the fro makes us all a little happy.
Hopefully, this poem isn’t ******.
Laugh, this is supposed to be funny
David Nelson Jul 2013
Out Behind the Barn

me and Jimmy Dickens
were in the barnyard feeding chickens
we were both 11 about that time

when up the road came Susie Kasper
with her cousins Ted and Jasper
a couple of teens headed for a life of crime

they signaled out to us
I could hear Teddy cuss
they walked up and whipped out a couple of butts

they said here take a puff
if you like this I got better stuff
so I did just like a dumb old klutz

I coughed and I wheezed
I farted and then I sneezed
my eyes were leaking like a sieve

Jimmy was smarter I guess
but he too finally said yes
took a hit and felt the burn of a shiv

we both puked as they laughed
it was there very special craft
they always managed to make you look like a fool

but they patted us on the backs
said boys now just relax
you won't learn a lesson like this in no school

then Susie gave me a big wet kiss
wow sure wasn't expecting this
I was in a trance until I heard this horn

it was my mom back from the store
she yelled someone help me with this door
but I was busy gettin educated out behind the barn  

Gomer LePoet....
concept based on old country song by Little Jimmy Dickens
Mary Gay Kearns Feb 2018
I use to to call you funny boy
Because you made me laugh
With that wide smile
And cheeky grin
Red hair like a Cabbage Patch doll.

Clever with puzzles on the floor
Computer games you adored
Always shy when I called
School reports I could applaud.

All the teachers thought you bright
Gave you prise for your insight
But they did not yet see
The hidden qualities to be.

On your bike on the green
Travelling round with a team
Many friends you did have
Turned into a likely lad.

From that quiet and shy child
Something different did emerge
Clever , yes, without a doubt
But cared little for convention's shout.

Dyed your hair bright blonde
Wearing earrings wasn't wrong
All the teachers turned to see
Someone cheeky as could be .

To my funny boy, Kasper, love Grandma xxxx
Kasper Feb 2020
This poem is untitled
Why?
Because it can be

What is a title
But a fancy name?
That's what she said

I go by Kasper
But my name is unknown
Just like where Elsa goes

This poem is very bad
I'm stating what's on my mind
I don't know what to do

So no harsh feelings?
Pretty please?
I'll just make this the end

— The End —