waiting for my dealer on the bridge
i open my second hand copy of American ******
for the first time in two years.
i forgot it opens with the gates of hell.
nihilism is seeping from the pages
just fueling my own drug addled reality
that doesn’t quite seem to mimic ‘real life.’
itake my meds twice a day but only
in the mornings do i get klonopin,
the best drug i’ve been on since
my Ativan privileges got revoked.
i used to do Xanax but that’s another poem.
Bateman does a lot of *******
but i’ve only done that once,
and it was just parental leftovers
so i don’t know about good
bathrooms to do coke in,
but i know about popping pills in front
of the mirrors, professors in the stalls,
before class, just to keep me going.
my suicidal intent has turned into hedonism
and i am living for pleasure and i find comfort
in knowing i will die, likely by my own hand
but even then, Bateman makes one thing clear:
This Is Not An Exit.

Patrice Chaves, the scammer

Worried about my wife's declining health
I looked for ways to make some money
to be able to hire home help
I got an email through a person who, as it turned out
didn't exist
Investing in gift cards was a good thing to do
I sent Patrice Shaves the cards he needed, but
On the day of payout, the postman didn't knock
He needs 500 euros more, but on the day of payout
No FedExs arrived, as Patrice Shaves needed them.
more to pay me for sure, I knew he was a scammer
and broke contact with him 
Weeks later, he wrote me again and offered friendship
The nerve of the man, he told me, had bought stamps
400 euros, all I needed to do was to pay 100 euros
and  everything would be squared
I didn't send him money, but I was curious how a man like
He spends his time telling lies upon lies
When I asked him about himself, he became furious
His life was none of my business; I had hit his sore points
He broke the contact.
Doing business on the internet is fraught.
I tried to send my final manuscript, Intense Memory, to a publisher
and came in contact with Hillshire Medium, who took the job for
400 euros upfront, I sent the money
But lately, that publisher has stopped answering my emails
I can only conclude that this, too, is another scam
I no longer care to be published. I have several sites that take
who take itake in my work, after all, being published or not
It's about vanity