I felt the totality of nothing
and it provoked utter elation
as all that was born of sensation
was inversed to none, nothing, one.

It feels nothing beneath or above,
Neither beside of me, no way
left nor right nor wrong.

As aeons unfelt
allowed anesthesia
to grip me, held wight
by its dissociative thrall.

I have braved the depths
of eternity, delved into spaceless
infinity, submerged in its chaotic bliss.

I dared to immerse myself in it.
Low and behold, the M-hole.

The water is clear
Unlike my mind.
It's murky, foggy, and
as my hand touches the surface,
It ripples.
Breaking the perfection
And I sigh as my face
reflected back to me
How I wish I could be lovely
Like the setting sun
Or the endless oceans
And I feel my face plunge
Forward into the water.
Struggling to breath underwater
The liquid fills my nostrils
And I've drowned
Like Narcissus
But out of self loathing
Rather than unconditional
self-admiration

This gentle flow takes control with perfect form, dark eyes match and connect in the same breath.
Warmth spreads from head to your *******, lower realms swirl in the depths. Skin glistening.
Bubble up, subtle touch, fingers search inversed.
Would rather tingle your thighs in line with my neck, criss crossed in ****** to snap.
Head tilted back, quiver and spasm as your chasm erupts.
Hushed sighs in a rush collect.
Congruent thoughts mix in our heads, mind *** fulfilled through this text.
Open your legs as your soft lips kiss with delicate sweat, thinking in sync when you stroke the same sense.
All from the chest.

As he held me in his warm loving embrace
He so feathery soft and ever so gently let his fingers trace
The new ink mark that use to be a branded scar on my face

He looked bewildered "what is this how did it become tattooed"
I spoke softly still weak "I do not know, I'm confused"
The evil pulsing throughout making my insides feel bruised

"My darling Witch where did the brand go"
I was to scared to tell him where the evil now flowed
I didn't want to tell him it was now inside that thorough my skin it had sunk below

I am beginning to realize what really was the curse
It was going against all I had ever felt it was inversed
And this stirring of evil was so unlike my compassion, it was so much worse

I was starting to see that with more good deeds
The branded evil symbols sunk below and off my soul it feeds
Will his love pull me through will it be all I need

We rested but for a little while, knowing that the Dark Lord was on his way
On this mountainside we could not stay
There was to many tunnels and caves, I could tell from the sun the day was starting to decay

I mounted our skittish dark ride
I sat in front the the knight behind
The rib from the white dragon we tried to hide

The knight had fashioned it into a sharp sword
So it could pierce any armor any flesh, for it was pure evil we where racing toward
I had seen in a vision it was going to be a great wicked horde

I prayed to the God Itus for protection, what we where facing was immense
Even under me the demons horse it's muscles tense
The look in the knight's eye's was extremely intense

I had to ask why that particular dragon he said "because she is the sister to the dragon of the moon
LEANA slayed the demons in ones sleep, her bones the light consumes
And to the suns light the Dark Lord was not immune"

I looked at him puzzled "but the sun does not shine at night"
He replied "yes dear Witch it does, the moon has no light of it's own it reflects the sun's light
And once stuck in the evil one he can not pull it out, and the bone collects the rays and against it the dark can't fight"

We was now almost off the mountain, we where headed to the flat land
That is where I'm afraid will be our final stand

In the distance we can see a village, black smoke was bellowing like flames where being fanned
We headed towards it a stop unwanted, unplanned

Eyes shut glancing into eternity
Monastically still in his own sadness.
Forever a cloud over his sun.
There is no foundation upon which to build.

Styx always flowing too fast to jump;
Life: too slow.

The eye, his eye, red from exhaustion & drought,

Algiz of the soul, inversed.
He has no apotheosis nor revelation of Godhood.

The golden light in his life,
dulled to a smoldering shadow,
could not be re-ignited.

Others smile without hesitation, nor lies.
Others' light: a golden fire.

There is no door out of life for the cowardly,
& no spark to rebirth the light.

A cold limbo, his.

The crushing weight of the world,
moste existential,
was also the dreadful crushing weight of existence for him.

Everyday, a labored breath of smoke drenched air.

Every lie, a cry for help he neither wanted nor deserved.


..
Walking blindly through the fog of existence.

Forever, forever...
Unto nothing, nihil, nothing...

Forever.

Nothing.

..Forever.

a gypsy of changing face
says:
‘I know
you have been living
in this land
long
very very long
so will you please tell me
how long’

my first time !  I reply
just arrived - few days ago
all details in a flash...

But he ignores
and repeats
the same

Do I not really
understand
as I smile
and thank him politely?

Yes
It all sounds so holy
just like this cow
visiting
each and every
day
while I write
in the same cafe

Really! :) yes
yes
Can you imagine!? :)
She just comes to watch
oh No … not hungry
the owner says
as if everyone
knows but me
I explain
Jokingly

while I secretly wish
wish for what he says:

‘You have the same fire
of an indian woman
in your eyes
a woman that never dies
until she brings healing
Healing
and something more’
… he says

And I babble
babble on

He and I
On a thin line
Playing
A dangling
game of
Oh the silly me’s
questioning
as if s
reasoning
residues of
habits

so Maybe...
I say for the
last time
And forget

Forget
to only live
the thing
with him

unknowing

and I look up
to see

to see
the me
in his
fiery

but he

He is not even
looking

Me is
one point just
beyond  a holy

We - union of three

Inversed
to match
to a combined path
of the ever known

which
I used to call unknown
which now makes
me
mute alone

As he held me in his warm loving embrace
He so feathery soft and ever so gently let his fingers trace
The new ink mark that use to be a branded scar on my face

He looked bewildered "what is this how did it become tattooed"
I spoke softly still weak "I do not know, I'm confused"
The evil pulsing throughout making my insides feel bruised

"My darling Witch where did the brand go"
I was to scared to tell him where the evil now flowed
I didn't want to tell him it was now inside that thorough my skin it had sunk below

I am beginning to realize what really was the curse
It was going against all I had ever felt it was inversed
And this stirring of evil was so unlike my compassion, it was so much worse

I was starting to see that with more good deeds
The branded evil symbols sunk below and off my soul it feeds
Will his love pull me through will it be all I need

We rested but for a little while, knowing that the Dark Lord was on his way
On this mountainside we could not stay
There was to many tunnels and caves, I could tell from the sun the day was starting to decay

I mounted our skittish dark ride
I sat in front the the knight behind
The rib from the white dragon we tried to hide

The knight had fashioned it into a sharp sword
So it could pierce any armor any flesh, for it was pure evil we where racing toward
I had seen in a vision it was going to be a great wicked horde

I prayed to the God Itus for protection, what we where facing was immense
Even under me the demons horse it's muscles tense
The look in the knight's eye's was extremely intense

I had to ask why that particular dragon he said "because she is the sister to the dragon of the moon
LEANA slayed the demons in ones sleep, her bones the light consumes
And to the suns light the Dark Lord was not immune"

I looked at him puzzled "but the sun does not shine at night"
He replied "yes dear Witch it does, the moon has no light of it's own it reflects the sun's light
And once stuck in the evil one he can not pull it out, and the bone collects the rays and against it the dark can't fight"

We was now almost off the mountain, we where headed to the flat land
That is where I'm afraid will be our final stand

In the distance we can see a village, black smoke was bellowing like flames where being fanned
We headed towards it a stop unwanted, unplanned

It isn't paranoia
but the fear that has been following
Waiting for my word and for my pen
premonitions of the sword
that which men may have sheathed
though their waists still not unscathed
The lack of rhythm in each year
however steep the run can be
November always seems
to be the downbeat
It does not care whether we've moved on
or whether we cared at all
Still it holds you to that point
and it dares you to speak
inversed by the genie
of the very next morning
I did not mean, and did not wish
to find the pulse within my own
living, breathing, grieve-ish
body in disguise of a person,
in disguise of a tomb
I regress while you digress
and it can only be unfair
that I am worn, but I'm extended
apprehended by the likes of vacancy
and vacancy alone
I tell the tale to the dirt itself
the rubble I intend
to sink within and sink without
a means to any end
no mighty sword to **** the pen
where the pen has left my hand
where Divinity's demands
demand for more
than the sword
and the pen
who cannot bargain for his own
and cannot bargain with no hand
I will not pick it up
for I refuse to understand
the purpose of a Lord
and the meaning of command
where I am to live
in place of those who wish to
and I am to speak
to ground in those who can't
and the rhythm is lost
and the gateway is clear
that something new was meant for me here
&from nothing, I'm now bound to believe:
without the pen, the hand is clean

What's happening, my dear, what's happening,
Why the directions are inversed,
Why oceans are scared of deserts?