It has been 268 days, 1 hour, and 27 minutes since you left the world Mel.

I felt you the other day,
As the leaves were changing their colors
I felt you the other day
Just like the trees feel the breath of winter upon their backs
and Fall inevitably turns to Winter
And the leaves disappear
And just like the leaves fall to the ground and get carried away
So do my memories of you
One at a time, I’m losing them
Since the day you died, fall has been in season
I had a tree full of brilliantly colored memories
And as time has passed on
The weather is having its way with my mind
No season lasts forever
And this one,
I wish it would
Because every day brings me another 1440 minutes
Away from your existence
I’m forgetting.
The first to go was your smell
So I held on tighter to every moment I spent with you
I wrote them all down, you know.
But my mind doesn’t understand how badly my heart needs to hold on
I’m forgetting
Your voice.
Your eyes.
Next it was your laugh
And all your little corks that I held so dear.
It’s been a while. Hasn’t it?

I felt you the other day
Without even thinking of you at all
I just knew you were there
Looking down at me
You know, sometimes I sit for hours
And focus solely on you and try to remember
And I torture myself
With the thought of you being gone
Until I feel a little bit of comfort,
And in that comfort, I know you are there
But as of late,
I don’t feel better
Sometimes I sit for hours and cry until I can’t see,
Until I can’t breathe,
Until I can’t speak
I have to.
Because if I don’t,
Then it makes me ashamed
I feel guilty
For forgetting to miss you.
I miss you everyday
It’s just sometimes, it hurts harder one day than it does the next

I felt you the other day
I felt your presence in mine
It was comforting
And shattering
I’ve learned that the wound never really heals
We just find a stronger medicine
I felt you the other day
As I sat in the red chair that people you didn’t know
Decided to dedicate to you
As an act of kindness so that we’d remember you
It’s been here for 218 days, and a little change
I’d like to burn it and pretend you never left
I’ve noticed that it’s easier to talk to you during the night-time
When I’m looking at the stars
Because it’s easier to remember when it’s darker
The sunlight just distracts me

I’ve breathed a million breaths since the day you left
Inhaled life and exhaled the stale air that somebody else
Will fill their lungs with
Yesterday is gone and tomorrow hasn’t happened yet and
I’ve spent today missing you
Today turns into yesterday
And tonight bleeds into tomorrow
And I’m still denying the truth
That you’re gone

Your voice will never reach my ears
Your heart will never pound upon your chest
Your breath will never pour into the atmosphere
And you've left us all here
and maybe we’re resentful cause none of us were ready
Goodbyes **** the passion out of you
Put your reality on pause while the world continues spinning
They take your breath from you
While reality drowns you and your lungs give out.
And you end up panting for breath
As you choke back the sobs that the world needs to hear

I sat next to your grave today
And the wind, made drunk with your presence,
Breathed against me
We talked, you and me
I talked
And you listened
I saw your mom
She told me that “you’re better off than we are”
And maybe you are
But it still makes me bitter
I’ve heard that nothing is destroyed,
everything is just transformed
So the trees are cut down and thrown in a fire
The logs are turned into ash
And blown away with the wind
Your shell is resting 6 feet below me
Flowers are growing
The grass has come back
You are in them
And that is eternity

And I hope you went
With a smile
I hope it was as easy and as quick as
Leaning back in a chair the color of the sun
while listening to lazy piano music
Can we reverse time?
Or has the timing been assigned?
Every moment has a purpose
Maybe death is misunderstood
Grief can cloud the mind
You roam free, no longer confined
Your destiny no longer follows a design
Wherever this journey took you
Don’t forget to paint the skyline
With your presence

It’s a little unfair and a little unclear
As to why you had to leave
How can life be so cruel?
It’s hard to believe
That moments turn to memories
And some memories turn to regrets
Regrets turn into lessons
And lessons paint vignettes
That become your background
Just a part of your past
We may be through with the past,
but the past is not through with us

Life changes and seasons go on
People pass away
Memories live on
Sceneries shift
Faces are interchanged
Life keeps on keeping on
And hearts get maimed
Human connections
Are all that truly remain
The fragile beats of the heart
Never stop when you’re in pain

Heat From the battle was traced to the shrill noise in the cavernous, wooden structure.  Its foolish doors were open to the base of the walls; a gulch of formidable blasts flowing with the dark energy tossed, like waves of air, to tremble with the violence of a secret thought.  It was protested that such designs were not very friendly, but the spirit crouched and did not like the room, complaining that the herds were given enough space for migration, while everyone else had only the edge of the shade to stand in for protection from the thrilling events by which the chicken wire began to unravel.  Or, rather, it was gently coiled and sent to a different corner of the experimental machine.  Time was influencing the organization, while the argument continued to bounce dust off the shelves and ledges.  The tools hanging against the boards were clanking and rattling.  The stage presented them with light shining across their faces and through the feathers or the thick fur.  Few of the animals had on harnesses or raincoats, but there was no doubt that the wild party had spilled into the telephone where individuals wandered as if looking for a specific person, a man in charge of his, privately sculpted destiny.  Perhaps, they sought his wife.  Freely, they inhabited foreign planets, moving from each, primitive barn, returning to the familiar boards and planks of the theoretical device, the refuge of the couple, with its pulleys and gears.  Care was taken that both of the great buildings were similar and could be interchanged, but one of them was always in the meadow where the two lived.  The other wandered across the mountain tops always attracting curiosity.  The expectation was that, soon, the arm would find itself crowded by a multitude of them.  The roads were not designed to carry the weight of such traffic, and as the gasoline turned into paint thinner, the ladies began to admire the polish on their nails.  The men were pounding as if they were hammering nails of iron.  When the alternatives had been examined, a company of claws chose the primitive way and walked in single file along the ridge.  They could feel the grip of the burlap and wanted to gaze deeply into the star fields.  Ignoring the fight as the splinters flew away from disintegrating boards, they calmly sharpened themselves and stood at the edge to have photographs taken with their own cameras.  Millions of these images became famous throughout the entire province.  The winner of the conflict received a gold medal.

Mostly, it sickens me that
our notes sent back and forth are
measurably more pleasant than conversation
We share in person.

I bet that paper lotus is gone.

Interchanged sentence fragments
both homeopathic and calculated by lamplight.

I bet that bookmark is still in the same place.

Even comparing you to Ivan would be a stretch,
Who are we kidding.
Dmitri.
But that’s still not the name I call you ante meridiem.

I bet Freud was right, but I never called myself a boy.  

A . Eb.  Six steps.  
Slonimsky dedicated so many pages to you.

I guess I will distill the Ocean
for salt.    

I can’t say any of this to you,
the most honest I’ll ever be
is in a poem I hope you’ll never read.

The afternoon light filters in through the shutters,
that look out towards the quiet cul-de-sac;
festooned with houses and quiet green lawns.
My room's walls are licked with yellow slashes
and lattices. Evening smooths the afternoon
into darkness with its brittle fingers and those yellow
slashes are interchanged with a diffusion of white neon
from the buzzing streetlamps. Oh how noisily they buzz
next to the flowerbeds! And people fold their lawn chairs and
go into their warmly lit houses and house pets roam blackened
curbs amongst the hedge delineations between homes and old
clocks wind down throughout the houses in cul-de-sac laced with
bitumen and broken glass.

Alone and Lonely
Two different words
Interchanged regularly
When they shouldn't be
Alone. (adjective)
On one's own
Lonely. (adjective)
Sad because one has no company
When I am alone
I'm not always lonely
When I am lonely
I'm not always alone
They aren't synonyms

extend
eyes look
first at it
then at eyes
a smile perhaps
maybe a forfeit
out of honor
often regular in common place nature
respect is shown
the gesture is known, by many
fingers placed with heat interchanged
an object of measure
given to friend or foe
quite the lovely present to gauge one's character.

This guy I know
The one most important
The one no longer there
 
Looks have been interchanged
Words have been spoken
 
This guy I know
The one who smiles so cheerfully
The one whose eyes sparkle
 
Layers have been peeled off
Secrets have been exchanged
 
This guy I know
The one whose hugs give warmth
The one whose touch electrifies
 
Feelings have surpassed
Emotions have intensified
 
This guy I know
The one who will lend a hand
The one who will listen
 
Safeness always present
Never turning backs
 
This guy I know
The one who inspires change
The one always there

In this life, I have had my struggles—
Mankind’s abuse, intolerance, wars, and corruption.
And no different were the personal aspects:
love, home, happiness—
All fleeting, no peace, within or external.

Then, I found you.

At first, I sought tranquility—
An ear to bend, a friendship perhaps.
Yet, you needed serenity, a peace within.
So, it was I who lent the ear, the shoulder, the words of understanding.

In this endeavor, I saw in you a trampled blossom—
Damaged, bent, a bit broken, but not a loss.
You just needed someone, anyone, to care,
To show you the light through the dark.

So, I listened, I nurtured,
Shown light, provided warmth,
Fed you, and caressed the soil with tears,
Until you felt whole again.

To be clear, I didn’t fix you;
I didn’t mold you.
You were whole, you were full of worth.
I only let you see what I see in you.

In turn, you saw me, as I saw you—
Someone discarded on the refuse of life.
Imparted, nay, reciprocated, the kindness you had received,
Knowing that I, like you, lay scarred and injured, but not a loss.

Tranquility and Serenity—
Words often interchanged,
But both have meanings that aren’t quite the same.
For one is peace in your surroundings, and the other is peace from within.

You cannot seek one
Without discovering and embracing the other.
Two sides of the same coin, like Yin and Yang,
Always seeking balance.

You guided me,
Lighting my way through the darkest moments.
I held steadfast, unwavering—the rock you needed,
A new foundation to build upon.

I confess this truth to you,
As you have given both, reciprocal,
As I have given unto you.

Time will tell.
This story has not ended.
It is still being written—
A journey to destinations unknown.

And all because,
I FOUND YOU.

Jealousy??
A myth!!
A way to hide the truth

Love??
An illusion!!
A way to live with fake

Hatred??
A mystery!!
That happens for the wrong person

What if Love and Hatred be interchanged.
I wold hate you till the end of my life!!

This is the hour meanness bears
Girls marble eyes fatigued by sun-filled play on Summer sunny days.

Black angel of mine, meander near my truth; corral words interchanged between the mortal whims we buried near the sand and stone murals the coastline and ravines overthrew.

Many orchids, chocolate brushing a with death'careless needles- adapted since.
Now I follow you, the boldness of your emerald crown, and the swueakiness amidst your new Keens and their patter on the crackly ground.

A cute exists to cease your pain
It takes the somber in your ails
Then slivers off pieces of your bones.

The downside is you **** all day
Your fury enrages you more.
The three-step antibiotic treatment
Made the sick in you sicker-

Treats meant to wander freely Now we've been in this trapped plainness in trapped family nowhere-land; until so miserable, melancholy, and disappointed

Anger turns to shouting.

Verse 1
The yearning to relate, convey and demonstrate
Desires interchanged, of pathways rearranged
To be enamoured of, a treasured soul
My ever one true love, to so unfold
A clear scenic sky, a hand to hold
Of memories passing by, let love evolve

Chorus
This is my gift to you, I’m sending this with love
I’m sending this with love
Embracing all that’s true, with faithfulness to you
I’m sending this with love

Verse 2
Of wisdom to engage, with letters to a page
Evoke and captivate, connected hearts relate
Of my weaknesses, that you complement
With true tenderness, you do bring out the best
You hold my true regard, beloved star you are
Passion interlaced, none could take your place

Chorus x2

Bridge
With love, with love, with love
With love, with love, with love
With love, with love, sending all my love

Written by Geraldine Taylor ©️

A star came to be me
shooting screams
granting your wishes,
Darling.

Aren't you happy that I finally feel?

Often I was numb
drifting somewhere
other than in me

My thoughts used to be yours

That's all I could think about

You
You
You

I became numb to my feelings
I wasn't me
I was you in me
searching for me
In you
because I lost me
I lost me in you

But on the other end,
I lost you, not in me, but in you.
you were meant to lose yourself in me
And me in you
Thus we, both, would still be
You and me
but me in you, and you in me,
but both still being us:
interchanged, intertwined,
us becoming the other
Until we found ourselves
lost in each other


But I lost me in you
And turned numb
Till I became a star
shooting screams
Granting your wishes
darling

Awaking
To find my way out
Out of this lost relation.

When legend created the world first came the question
Light or dark separated by the words, underlying meaning of things
Expressed in alphabetic notation always
Speaks with an accent, the fluidity of form
Inexpressible uncontainable strangeness
The leaf is a breath, food, healing and shade
You are not me and I am not you yet shadows of each other
Before the judgement comes it is, you are
I am, interchanged yet our own entities
No ultimate meaning beyond what one makes
Of this mess, snake's curious devastating boredom
Livelihood could be achieved or inspired
By something beyond,
Or lived without, in opaque dusk of utter meaninglessness
So I leave it up to the forces in charge
Spectator by nature
I rationalize what does not fall into place
You don't, now run, I am about to say it
Ambiguity!

I really did like you…

As far as human interactions go.

Beyond the jagged edges of
metallic creations,
or the infinite circuitry
passing through information’s…

Like each other passing through one another.

Take a hood off,
waste a smile.

Cold ice glare,
warm caring stare.

Climb a case,
change your ways
to get out of another's
personal space.

Be yourself,
pretend to be someone else.

Have your day,
or put aside.

Love me blindly,
or blind my mind.

Kiss me here,
or have me never.

Pour the rain,
or clog the drain.

You were a victim too,
but they’re still going to charge you…

Very few get away.

Thinking about a society;

One in all or too many in a singular.

Put in place,
undeserved fate.

Stealing from another me...

Being something
I don’t want to be.

It doesn’t make it any better…

On the contrary,
it only makes it hurt more after.

Walk on by…

One of these times
the machine will stall
and it will be interchanged for
something that will not fail to fall.

Cutting me down to one knee,
or a pollution too powerful to last…

This one last time
I’ll watch her pass.