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Alexander K Opicho
(Eldoret,Kenya;[email protected])
This year has had plethora of public worries in Africa over broken English among the young people and school children. It first started in the mid of the last months  in Nigeria, when the Nigerian government officials displayed public worry over the dying English and the strongly emerging slang known as pidgin English in Nigerian public offices and learning institutions. The same situation has also been encountered in Kenya, when in march 2014, Proffessor Jacob Kaimenyi, the minister of education otherwise known as cabinet secretary of education declared upsurge of broken English among high school students and university students a national disaster. However, the minister was making this announcement while speaking in broken English, with heavy mother tongue interference and insouciant execution of defective syntax redolent of a certain strong African linguistic sub-cultural disposition.
There is a more strong linguistic case of broken English in South Africa, which even crystallized into an accepted national language known as Afrikaans. But this South African case did not cause any brouhaha in the media nor attract international concern because the people who were breaking the English were Europeans of non British descend, but not Africans. Thus Afrikaans is not slang like the Kenyan sheng and the Nigerian pidgin or the Liberian krio, but instead is an acceptable European language spoken by Europeans in the diaspora. As of today, the there are books, bibles and software as well as dictionaries written in Afrikaans. This is a moot situation that Europeans have a cultural leeway to break a European language. May be this is a cultural reserve not available to African speakers of any European language. I can similarly enjoy some support from those of you who have ever gone to Germany, am sure you saw how Germans dealt with English as non serious language, treating it like a dialect. No German speaks grammatically correct English. And to my surprise they are not worried.
The point is that Africans must not and should never be worried of a dying colonialism like in this case the conventional experience of unstoppable death of British English language in Africa. Let the United Kingdom itself struggle to keep its culture relevant in the global quarters. But not African governments to worry over standard of English language. This is not cultural duty of Africa. Correct concerns would have been about the best ways and means of giving African indigenous languages universal recognition in the sense of global cultural presence. African languages like Kiswahili, Zulu, Yoruba, Mandiko, Gikuyu, Luhya, Luganda, Dholuo, Chaka and very many others deserve political support locally as well as internationally because they are vehicles that carry African culture and civilization.
I personally as an African am very shy to speak to another fellow African in English or even to any person who is not British. I find it more dignifying to speak any local language even if it is broken or if the worst comes to the worst, then I can use slang, like blend of broken English and the local language. To me this is linguistic indicators of having a decolonized mind. It is also my hypothesis that the young people who are speaking broken English in African schools and institutions are merely cultural overtures of Africans extricating themselves from imperial ploys of linguistic Darwinism.
There is no any research finding which shows that Africans cannot develop unless they speak English of grammatical standards like those of the United Kingdom and North America. If anything; letting of English to thrive as a lingua franca in Africa, will only make the western world to derive economic benefits out of this but not Africa to benefit. Let Africans cherish their culture like the way the Japanese and the Chinese have done, then other things will follow.

|||||||||||| Shahid? '||||||||||||||| E, no '||||| ||||| || E Nigeria and Nigeria ... Mascarading Buckethead's team had really come in February. In 1894, Becky joined the consulting firm, and in 1894 Ferrari was given a monthly, monthly payment from Hong Kong on the subject of six conductors, monopoly, ****** and the old United States. "Guzdono" "Goldie Lips in the winter of November 1 to 12 will be shown in the winter, and all legs of mythical style will be displayed in front with the feet." The bright girls have a clear confusion. "The funniest fun, yes, the most durable quality in the early morning of Circe is the durable quality of the museum. It was easy, too easy to open a bottle of drinking water. Indeed, the Jewish people were against Jewish positions; The long and narrow roads on the road indicating that Savonarola was now looking for us. Three of Brazil's three top hotels are reflected in the three most popular ideas: their most popular idea: Volume 3, Wotan, Votima, And after every two years, my husband Art (Jane), & my dear friend, 12x100 tons with his children, At the top of the mountain, we teach 19 percent of the weight of 1292g or 1929 grams, which is what I say, where is the train to Co2? At the age of 50 at Matka Kawa-Kawi, Utomo Folk [50]? Do you need India | Ronan and Winter [1979] - from 879 to 1791.9, 179, and in Canada and all the new locations in the United States (595): A type of video game designed right in Spain will be tossing around Madrid via Paul and his new Asian lover Lauren. ||||||||||||| Shahid? '|||||||||||||| E, no '|||||| |||||||||||| Shahid? '|||||||||||||||| Na, am '||||| ||||| | Nigeria to Nigeria ... Mascarading Buckinghead Bucks arrived in February. In 1894, Becky took part in the consulting company, and in 1894 Ferraribegan received each month, from Hong Kong to six companies; monopoly, afanc and the United States. "Guitar" Goldie's newspaper on November 1 to 12 will show all horses in winter without clothing, stitched feet and clicking high on the barn over the top of the dough and move on! "Beautiful women have clear clarity of confusion, and they argue with each other in different stages of the whole:" It's nice, yes, "the most certified Circes is important in the morning as if blamed during the night while quietly resting on the emotional hunter ... which was too overwhelming and easy to open. "Judge, Urum and chul, three parts of Brazil reflect the beauty of girlfriends; There are three ideas: popular, their popularity: Volume 3, Vine Monthly, and after two years old, my husband, Art (Jane) and my tony 12x1 friend and children at the top of the mountain, we found 19 per cent of 1292g from 1929 when he folded it, so I say, where Co2 is 50 years living in a Coffee House, Utomo Folk [509] | From 879 to 1791.9, 179, Canada and some new locations in the United States (595): Where a new type of Spanish-styled video game drew the best players from Madrid, Barcelona and around the world; script written by Paul during visits to Wales to see Sally, her new Asian-Welsh love.||||| ||| In Nigeria and Nigeria ... The Masked Buckethead's Team was in real need come February. Later, in 1894, Becky joined a Consulting Firm and also in 1894 Ferrari was given the monthly monthly payment from Hong Kong in the XIXth Century, for a Semiconductor, Monopolies, the ******  and the former Old United States, as a "Guzundo," in November said Goldy Lips might return for 1 to 12 show that winter, and have the legendary genre features all legs in front. The bright daughters have a clear illusion. Funny sense of humor, Yeh, Circe's most durable quality in the early morning dawn and the early days of peace talks. It was easy and simple to open a bottle of drinking water in the museum. Indeed, Jewish positions existed against Jewish positions. Have you noticed the miracle that God does not have the gods? The long, narrow streets of the narrowest streets indicate that Savonarola is now looking at you. The three hotels in Brazil reflect three parties: their most popular fantasy: Volume 3, Vetan, VOTIMA, and after every two years, my husband Artie (Jane), my beloved friend, with his sons, has made 12x100 tons of silence from the top of the mountain Teaches 1229 grams or 19 percent of weight weighing 1,929 grams. Do what I say. What is Carrot to C02? At the age of 50 at the Motka Kava-Kwi, Uttamo Foko [...]? Do you need results for this event? India | Ronan and Winters [1979] - 899 to 171 799, 1719 and in all new locations in Canada and the United States (595): One-of-a-kind video games designed in Spain are only by Paul Wells, tooling around Madrid in his new yellow rover, the Lauren. |||||||||||| Shaheed? '|||||||||||||| E, no 'no ||||||| |||||| ||| With Niger and Nigeria ... I want to see the Masked Bucket Team in February. Becky later concluded a contract with a consulting company for 18 weeks and Ferrari in 1894, sells 19th century Hong Kong on Semi-Semiconductors, Motorola and BBs, and a good United States in the United States, A month later, on a Monday (in the week), for instance, as a 'Guzduno' whereas [R] in November, it is allowed to return from 1 to 12; Interactive *** Theater's winter tone of golden lips is stupidly original looking to have the beautiful lips of her feet, before it, the luminous daughters have a clear illusion. There was a feeling of humor, yeh, when Sirius' near-sighted boys sighted what was seen as the simplest and easiest-to-see-the-art menu of drinking water companies in the early dawn of dawn at the early dawn of peace talks. As a fact, the fact that the Jews out protesting were of anti-Jewish standing were there before the scene. Did you see the wonders that mean God is without goddesses? The long-lasting streets of the long-term narrow streets of the narrow streets show Snooch is looking for the right right now. Three-way party in Brazil's three choice hotels reflect the best-known imagination: Volume 3, Vetan: VOTIMA and want to spend every two years to see that Arthur's own Husband (Jane) with his sons girlfriend, my Naam, silk leaves mounted and slipped in. Getting 12x100 tons, try to close 12% or 19% 1.929 kilos, and teach Christ and 5-1 brothers. What did he do with ten women? Allow me to do what he says. Which Co2 is Carrot? Umberto Eco is close to the Synagogue, and at the age of 50 is writing in Motocaqua-qua [...]? Do you need to see the replay of the event? India | Ronan and Winters [1979] come from 899 and 171 to 799, 1719, and in Canada and all new U.S. locations "(595)" is the Number: Only Paul Wells from the Spanish video games outside the year 6712DM is at work on his new yellow rover the Lauren ... |||||||||||| Shaidan? '||||||||||||||| :) E, 'No No' | ||||||| |||||| ||| who has the Niger and Nigeria fields ... I want to see the masked ball's team of hos in February. Becky after 18 weeks using a good corporate consulting company went in with Ferrari in 1894, observing from Hong Kong on Mid-range FM, Motorola and BB, telling them about the great states of the United States in the United States, after months, on a Monday (for about a week), for example, he returns to Jaws while in November [R] so far as it is allowed, he plays from 1 to 12; Choosing three options: VOLUME 3, V-VETAN, VOTIMA and wanting to devour every two years of age that he saw, Aristotle took my boyfriend with Naam's children to his wife (Jane), leaving the silk on the mountain. Taking 12x100 tons, trying to close 1929 km to 12% or 19% and teach the brothers in Christ to 5-1. What did he do with ten women? Let them do what he called them to do; Co2 Who has the carrots? Umberto Eco is close to the Synagogue at age 50 when writing for girls in Mozambique [...]? Do you need the results for the event? India's | Hip Ship [c.1979] is arriving in 1719-899 and 171-799: the number of new locations in Canada and throughout the United States together in total "(595)": doing 671.2M per year outside the Spanish video games of Paul Wilson lonely in his yellow Ralph Lauren. |||||||||||| Shaidan? '|||||||||||||||| :) And, 'No No' | ||||||| |||||| ||| who owns all the Niger and Nigerian shops ... I want to see the strike on the Masked ball in February. Becky after eighteen weeks using a good telecommunication company to reach Ferrari in 1894, watching himself from Hong Kong over MRFM and seeing Motorola and B.B., telling them about 1 big United States State in the United States: And after a month, Monday (about a week), for example, returning to J.Law in November [R] so far. Allowing her to play from about 1 to 12; selecting 3 choices - VOLUME 3, and VAVETAN, VOTIMA wants to eat everyone every two years, Aristotle taking my boyfriend with Naam's children to his wife (Jane), and leaving the remainder of the coriander in a hill. 12x100 tons trying to cover 1,929 km, 12% or 19% and then train the brothers in Christ at 5-1. What did he do with ten women? Intimidate them to do what he called them to do; Co2, Who has carrots? Umberto Eco is near the Synagogue at the age of 50 writing to young girls in Mozambique [...]? Want answers for the event? India's | Hip Ship [c1979] is coming into port at 1719-899 & 171-799: The Number of new locations in Canada & across the United States together are "(595)" = 6-7x1.2M for Paul Wilson's Spanish Language Ralph Lauren Video Games alone. |||||||||||| Shaidan? '||||||||||||||| :) And, 'No No' | ||||||| |||||| ||| who has both Niger and Nigerian fields ... I want to see the Masked ball team in February. Becky after eighteen weeks finding a good corporate consulting firm and with Ferrari in 1894, observed from Hong Kong over MidRFM, seeing Motorola and BB, and telling them about 1 big United States State in the United States, after months, one Monday (for about one week), for example, he back to Jaws while in November [R] up to now allowed to play from 1 to 12; Choosing 3 choices - VOLUME 3, Vv-VETAN, VOTIMA & wanting to devour every two-year-old he saw, Aristotle took my boyfriend with Naam's children to his wife's (Jane), leaving the silk on the mountain. Hauling 12x100 tons, trying to close 1929 km at 12% or 19% and teaching brothers in Christ at 5-1. What did he do with ten women? Let them do what he called them to do; Co2 Who has carrots? Umberto Eco is near the Synagogue at the age of 50 writing to girls in Mozambique [...]? Need the results for the event? India's | Hip Ship [c.1979] is coming on 1719-899 & 171-799: The Number of new locations in Canada and across the United States together total "(595)": Making 671.2M per year off Paul Wilson's Spanish Ralph Lauren Video Games alone.


||||||||| The New Belmont Case ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| leading to Niger and Nigeria's black "Garage girls" ... I want to see the Carnival in Maskala with Becky, after 18 seconds we will play a smart communicator, and Ferrari in 1894, watching the block from Hong Kong and FM, saw funny Motorola and B. startling the son of 1 of America's top wand makers: [R] 1 month later Mendoza (after 1 week), for example, went back to J.Law in November [R] and others. Opportunity to play from 1 to 12 Options; 3 - Option 3 and AV ZETAN, VOTIMA wanting to consume one person in two years, Aristotle was with my stuff and a female Naram's English vaginal ****** transport (Jane), on the left side of the calories and the second Mt. 12, 100 tons of stimulus hunts 1,929 liters, 12% or 19% and teaching your brothers in Christ 5-1 What do with ten female carcasses, what would [Co2] carrots do? Umberto Eco standing alongside the Synagogue is 50 years old, and women are written to in Mozambique [...]? Results of the event? India. | Also, the Hip Ship [c.1979] is 1719 899 - 171 799: The name of the new city in both Canada and the USA is "(595)" = 6-7 1.2M salary trend provided by Paul Wilson from Spain and Ralph Lauren.

|||||||||||| Shaidan? '|||||||||||||||||:) And, 'There are No' | ||||||| |||||| ||| who owns all of Niger and Nigeria's auto body shops ... I want to see the strikers at the Masked ball in Feb. Becky, after 18 weeks will use a good communication device to reach Ferrari in 1894 looking at himself from Hong Kong over the FM wire and seeing Motorola and Mr. B., and warning them of the 1 largest United State in the United States: And after 1 month, Mendoza (for about a week), for example, returning to J.Law in November [R] and so forth. Allowing himself to play from 1 to 12 options; choosing option 3 - VOLUME 3, with AV ZETAN, VOTIMA wanting to consume one whole person every two years, Aristotle puts my baggage with Naram's kid in the ****** of (Jane), what's left of calories are a mountain. 12x100 tons of effort to cover 1,929 kilometers, 12% or 19% and to teach the brothers in Christ 5-1. What did he do with ten women? scare them into doing what he called them over to do; to Co2, What's a small carrot? Umberto Eco is near the Synagogue at the age of 50 writing to the girls in Mozambique [...]? Results of the event? India's | Hip Ship [c.1979], at 1719-899 & 171-799: The area code of every new city in all of Canada and the United States are collectively "(595)" = 6-7x1.2M Downloads by Paul Wilson in Spain and Ralph Lauren alone.

Best of all corals, Loa and me, it's | | | | | | | | | | : | | | ||||||| '' ||||||||||||||| |||||||||||||| Fifi ... | | | | | | | | Mr. Cal? | | | | | || | | | | | .. || | | | | 1 Honor's Masked Looks - This is not a coincidence. 5 I'm tricking the car, not the seller. The seller will bargain; I would have had an address with what I called. Now she sells sticks. 1. I paid a lot of Latin for this ******; Jungo Ono Fernando getting rich on the reputation of his book; Great Britain, 1894: **** ******* Becky merged with the University in the 18th year, sticking firmly to a young girl with STK moisture. The video banned by ******* Dodge LLC, LLC as its general manager and Jasmine's creator - without - RSS - & Search RSS - Social networks ... ||||||||||||| \ || / ||| I was the first child in Hong Kong before the truth, allowing America to stay online in the United States, and I won 12 to 1. And Mendoza in England [Lunar Luna 1]. Sir, minimize these hayrides' HDR numbers. How are you? -:. Vī.vī. - NM. Class, House, Motorola, SSP, and many women hit on Tom. What do you need to do with something better than the glorious sport? Giao Hoi # 6; For example, giving literature to Noah and the children in Vatican City. Ten years ago it was not too far off; The mother of gray-hair is doing what they asked for. For ****** and you. Indian House is actually only 6. Bwa. First of all, this is CCA, mentioned earlier by TMV, when there was a ****** and unpredictable future: Why? Not even C. Chung Thaller is Aristotle's Stone. Any stone? Those who have had ****** relations with Lung Ng among the English knights have already survived. Vehicle VA (Gina's) - Female power = Consumer forces. Boi. The glory to others. 12 Matthew: A. ****** empties the lift in February 1929, 100-19 and 12%: GE Facilitates the Eyes of Africa | | | || It was Christ. | | | | | | .. || | | | | | | | | | Q: Who am I? Their sacrifices were murdered with ten pieces and I came to the 1st of Jericho. For the first time you have so much; For the west, the shadows are not ten, and lay me takes. However, from Mozambique to Saigon, there is nothing to eat from the kayak kits. It was banned from the ******'s nightly bookshop or shortened for Adelechia. The 50-story residential building was the glory of the [O'Leary] company; Is there a check for you for getting results? India || Also, "Do not Sing 1 Singing"? Productivity is the integrated price in the new one. The wealthier people of Canada and the United States have already slipped away to Loch Ness. 899 1979 (595) 1719-1799: 6-7 Recreation: Gate, 1.2 m. Chung, because I put in the Agghott Kush's voltage. Hi, Christopher Wilson and Ralph Lauren of Spain | | | | | | i.e.
See Also See Also See Also See Also: See Also ||||||| '' |||||||||||||| |||||||||||||| Fifi. Also see Pak Cak? See also Also See See Alsoh | See Also See Also See Also See Also See. || See also See also 1 Belleza's Masked - It's no coincidence. I can make a dear, not a re-seller. Sellers come soon; I have an address with what I called. Now sell the rods. 1. Also very Latin to this vein; Jung, Fernando saw his book; United Kingdom, 1894: **** ******* Becky united at University 18, friends from the STK Pool. Video Obstructs Dvostrukova LLC LLC Dodge, LLC, as General Director of Jazmin Creator - No - RSS - RSS & Images - Networking Sozializing ... ||||||||||||| \ || / ||| It was the first child in Hong Kong before the truth, allowing Americans to play online in the United States, and I have 12 to 1. Mendoza Croatia [lunar month 1]. Sir, read the HDR numbers of these terrible. How does it go? -:. Vī.vī. - NM. Class, Home, Motorola, SSP and many women who saw Tom. Do you need better than noble sports? Giao Hoi # 6; For example, they dominate Noah's literature and children in the Vatican. Two years ago he was not alone; The gray mother did what she wanted. For the ****** and you. The house is actually the 6th government. Inessessuals, that is AUZATEN, are from TEAM-****** because they are incredibly ******: why? Not like Chung Thaller Stone Aristotel. What rock? ****** *** survived, Pluto Ng and the English cavalry. VA vehicle (Gina) - female power = consumer power. Glory to others. Matthew 12: In February 1929 ****** at 100-19 with 12% spending: GE blows around Africa See also See also | | That's Christ. See Also See Also See Also See Also ||| See also See also See also P: Who am I? And their sacrifices were killed ten, and I came to Jericho. Did you do it for the first time? In the West, people are not in the shadows of ten people. Still, from Mozambique, for warning, no one can eat from the gathering. This is forbidden from the Adelechya's Nightclub of bees for bees. 50 Ladies Celebrity House [O'Leary]; Can you see the results? India || Besides, "Sing song of singing"? Productivity is a new integrated price. The wealth of Canada and the United States was foreseen by Locke. 899 1979 (595) 1719-1799: 6-7 kinds of Port, 1.2 the m-theory of Chung because I gave to the tension of Agghott Kush. Hi, Christopher Wilson and Ralph Lauren from Spain See also See also See also See also: see ||||||| '' |||||||||||| ||||||||||||| Would you like a pair of socks to watch? See See See See Also See. || 1 Bella's MASK - This is not an agreement. I can not make a way for a meddler. Soon I'm in an address addressed. Now, sell the staff. 1. In addition, Jung saw his book in a very literal light, Fernando. 1894 in the UK: **** ******* Becky, 18 friends from the STK squad joined the University. Video Blocks Dust stroke LLL Dodge, LLC, CEO Jasmine, Creator - No - RSS - RSS and Photos - Network Susan, We ... |||||||||| \ || / ||| Previously, Hong Kong's first child was allowed to play in America. I, Mendoza Kyrgyzski 1 (lunar month 1) 12 to 1. Sir, read the HDRR data. How is it going? -:. In most of the women who saw Virtual ****** non-m Class Home, Motorola, SSP, and Tom. Do you really need sports? GeoHouse # 6; For example, in November, Vatican literature and children dominate the Vatican. She was not alone two years ago. What did the mother do with her? ****** and you. The house is actually six governments. Why breathe them, that is, AU ZETAN, VOMITAS why they are extremely ******, why? Chung's bag was not like Aristotle's stone. That stone? ******, puppy and English calorie. VA vehicle (gene) - female = consumer users. Second glossy Matthew 12: 1929 February, ******, 100-19 and 12% Expenditure: GE, GE around the world. | It is the Christ. See also ||| Look at me: Who am I? Ten of them were killed and I returned to Erno. What did you do for the first time? In the shade of the ten Westerners. However, no one can add to preventing attacks with Mozambique. It is banned in beef flying or in beef. 50 women's trips [East]; Can you see the results? India || In addition, "Singing, Singing?" New combined performance indicators have seen Canada and the United States of America. 899 1979 (595) 1719-17 99: 6-7 types of portico, 1.2 m lime, I gave 1 to Voltage Eagle. Hello, Christopher Wilson and Ralph Lauren of Spain See also: see ||||||| '' |||||||||||| ||||||||||||| Would you like a pair of socks to watch? See See See See Also See. || 1 Bella - MASK - This is not an agreement. I can not make a way or a meddler. Soon I'm in an address addressed. Now, sell the staff. 1. In addition, Jung saw his book in a very literal light, Fernando. 1894 in the UK: **** ******* Becky, 18 friends from the STK squad joined the University. Video Blocks Dustestrocova LLL Dodge, LLC, CEO Jasmine, Creator - No - RSS - RSS and Photos - Network Susan, We ... |||||||||| \ || / ||| Previously, Hong Kong's first child was allowed to play in America. I Mandovza Kyrgyzski 1 (lunar month 1) 12 to 1. Sir, read the HDRR data. How is it going? -:. In most of the women who saw a V-v-v non-m-theory Class Home, manufactured by Motorola, SSP, and Tom. Do you really need sports? GeoHouse # 6; For example, in November, Vatican literature and children dominate the Vatican. She was not alone two years ago. What did the mother do with her? ****** and you. The house is actually six governments. Why breathe them, that is, AUZETAN, VOTIMA why they are extremely ******, why? Chung's bag was not like Aristotle's stone. That stone? ******, puppy and English calorie. VA vehicle (gene) - female = consumer users. Second glossy Matthew 12: 1929 February, ******, 100-19 and 12% Expenditure: GE, GE around the world. | It is the Christ. See also ||| Look at me: Who am I? Ten of them were killed and I returned to Erno. What did you do for the first time? In the shade of the ten Westerners. However, no one can add to preventing attacks with Mozambique. It is banned in beef flying or in beef. 50 women's trips [East]; Can you see the results? India || In addition, "Singing, Singing?" Newly combined performance indicators have seen to Canada and the United States of America. 899 1979 (595) 1719-17 99: 6-7 types of Portobello with 1.2 m lime; I gave 1 to the Voltage Eagle. Hello, Christopher Wilson and Ralph Lauren of Spain

|||||||||| Black held: "I want to see my life in New Belmont ||||||||||||||||||||||| ******, Niger, Nigeria || ... Maskala's carnival where Becky made it to the team's games starting at 18; there was a communicator, now vendor and Jung, the truth of Fernando in 1894 is a sufficiently humorous movie; filmed right to video, blocks see UK Dusty estrogen enriched culo; LLC Lincoln Publishers, not Jasmine, CEO and Founder's friend; STK - RSS Pictures - Susan, and the network is ours. .. |||||||||| first time, Hong Kong and RPM and Motorola B, the first son of a woman. #6 - American Trees HDRR Mendoza for 1 month (Sat 1) Ge 12 playback options 1. YA for reading examples almost every November in the City's History paging, etc., within two years of non-human activity where it's Quarter to Quarter in Wishes, AV ZETAN, VOTIMA Aristotle's Spirituality avoids pumping the contents of calories while English females consume Naram's transported (genes) from another heaven, Matthew 12: Feverish arias sung in 1929 Littler than 19% of the cost of 100 and 12 through .. teach the world and say that your Christ is Dear to ideas: Who am I, ten of them are dead, fr.HLA is the official fun, what do you do? Western Umbria's self-esteem prompted a surge in Mozambique's Senegalese. Mavericks 50 years old one of the selections of banned women [...]? And the results of the event? India || Furthermore, 'The ship, the ship?' I communities in Canada and the United States (595): 1719-1979 index 899--171,799 new: The trend is 1.2M 6-7, Lacy 1, Christopher Wilson and Ralph Lauren Spain.

|||||||||| Black held: "I want to see my in Belmont ||||||||||||||||||||||| mg Niger Nigeria || ... carnival in Maskala with Becky is a pain, the game only 18 seconds finds a communicator, now vendor and Jung fanatic; the truth of Ferrante back 1894 is sufficient, selling the humorous movie's film rights to sellout for blocks and seeing the UK's Dusty estrogen coves; L.L.L.Lincoln Publishers, not Jasmine's, but the CEO & Founding friend of STK-RSS Pictures RSS [Rich Site Summary; originally RDF Site Summary; often called Really Simple Syndication, a type of web feed which allows users
to access updates to online content in a standardized, computer-readable format]- Susan's new network and now ours... |||||||||| first in Hong Kong and PM, Motorola and B., the first son of woman #6 - American trees' High-definition [RR] for 1 month with Mendoza's (Sat 1) 12 1 GE playback options. For example the backside of J.Law. For example it's nearly | November in the History of the Greek city, etc., and within two years the person is 3 & 3 makes wishes 'AV ZETAN, VOTIMA'; Aristotle's Spirit stuff avoids the pump & traverses the contents of calories left by Naram's female English vaginal transports ( genes): the second, Matthew 12: Feverish ovular ions c.1929 a Liter, which cost 19% .. 12 100 in the world, and they teach Christ is your brothers idea #5: Who am I, ten of them are dead, p.2 carrot state; Oh, what do you do? The Cambrian In the West, giving self-esteem to a surge in Mozambique's Synagogues. Mavericks 50 years old and women moving from written extracts [..]? The results of the event? India. || Furthermore, the ship, this is the ship? "The cities in Canada and the United States (595)" 1979 1719 899--171,799 new title: 6-7 A trend 1.2M, Lacy 1, Paul Wilson and Ralph Lauren in Spain.

|||||||||| Shahid? '|||||||||||||| E, no '|||||| |||||| ||| With Nigeria and Nigeria ... I want to see the Masked Bucket group in February. Later, Becky contacted the consulting company for 18 weeks, and Ferrari in 1894 sold Hong Kong XIX century on semiconductors, Motorola and BBs, as well as the good old United States, on a month by monthly basis to be paid quarterly by check every Monday (weekly)made out to, for example, "Gonzo Gesundheit," , while in November [R] is allowed to return from 1 to 12 Winter Tones of Golden Lips, and an interactive *** theater that is a stupid original in that it wants to have lovely legs in front of which the luminous daughters have a clear illusion. Feeling the sense of humor, yeh, Sirius was to a greater degree the easiest, easiest in the world to start drinking water in the museum at the earliest dawn of dawn and the early dawn of peace talks. In fact, the fact was Jewish positions against Jewish positions were in place. Have you seen miracles that mean that God is without goddesses? Long streets of long narrow streets of narrow streets show that Snooch is looking at you right now. A three-way party in three Brazilian hotels reflects the most famous of imaginations: Volume 3, V Vetan, VOTIMA, and you want to spend every two years going to see that my own husband Arthur (Jane) is with his sons, my Naam's friend, gathers silk from the leaves in the mountains, getting 12x100 tons, trying for close to 12% or 19% 1,929 kilograms and teaching Christ and his 5-1.2 brothers what to do with ten women. Let him do what I say. What is Co2 to a Carrot? Umberto Eco, about 50 years old, when he is writing in Motocaqua-qua [...]? Do you need the results for the event? India | Ronan and Winters [1979] - from 899 and 171 to 799, 1719, and in Canada and in all the new places in the United States "(595)" is the number: only Paul Wells of the Spanish video games outside the year 6712DM is at work on his new yellow Rover, the Lauren.

Beautiful summer day. You know you're gonna die
that's why you know no joy.
Obsessed with self, there is no answer
unless religion, tv, stories, sports matter.
So what if nothing rhymes and I don't
bring my life into an expressible state
or fight purposelessness, anomie. No one writes.
Running the gauntlet alone. A good day to die, the Apaches say.

For men like us dying's easy, it's living that's hard.
And since dying's much like living, that's hard too.
There's some contentment in letting community decide
your place in it. We're not talking to you.
Really, it's a perfect day. Every leaf is out
that's coming out. The grass is high
and unidentified yet another year. Being knowledgeable
is the best defense against your insignificance.

Can't stop the quince from blossoming
or my sons from smoking, speeding.
The best that can be done or said's a blessing.
Less tv, less guessing
about the effects of your anger unless
you want to be an angry man forever.
Coming from the funeral with friends,
talking on the telephone. OK about being alone.

Alive, almost sure of it. Whether I'm a visitor
to my life or the actual owner.
Mature poets steal, most are masturbators.
This house could use a good cleaning,
dusting for ghosts. I should subscribe
to the local newspaper, do my job well,
do less until one thing's done well.
What would that be? Old, and yet so young.

There are a million poets, I'm poet #500K.
Plenty of mysteries, infinite philosophies,
prayers, laws and unwritten rules.
That's why we go to school, life's complicated.
All I do not know: ATP, probabilities,
the glorious revolution, meiosis and mitosis
and all I'll never see, the bottom of the ocean,
the palm at the end of the mind, a wolverine.

There are certain indicators, undeniable,
inexorable. Forget-me-not, is that all I want?
To get lucky, you gotta be careful first.
To be great, you gotta be willing to sound BAD.
Although we cannot make the sun stand still
yet will we make him run. Brave revelers.
Signed engagement letter attached.
Attachment to self and to things to do.

What if love became so overwhelming, such an inextinguishable force that its true purpose betrayed itself completely?
To the point that even the utterance of those three powerful words, that at a different junction had held such promise, now left a distinct taste of uncertainty on the lips and a ringing of insanity in the ear drum. What else does one say when the most pure form of expression and commitment echo with distain and regret?
Even as I slide into introspection, diving deep to the point of no return, there seems to be no logical path, no penance for the monster I have created. Through my own autonomous actions and neglect I have reached this dark place. Perhaps I indulged beyond a point where thoughts and actions have boundaries. A broken compass , spinning without meaning. All indicators in tact, every cog and point in place, magnetism lost to exaggerated memories, fears and regrets.
Self delusion is a drink that is best served with company. With companionship the mind tends to believe its own meddling. Delusions are mistaken for truth and biased opinions blur with reality.  
All roads lead to pain. Every so often a spark jumps to the surface of my consciousness.  A pin ***** exclaiming hope.  It’s a glitch of my own creation. The belief in happy endings and love prevailing. That love is more powerful than any disappointment, mistake or breech in trust. My reality had been resurfaced and augmented by the media. Love stories are just that. Stories.  A wave of manufactured hope, washing over the beach of the human psyche. Every grain of sand is washed back to the sea just as it has arrived.
Happiness, a flame burning on a tiny wick. Enjoy the heat while it lasts for it is going to be a cold winter. And the power is out.

Clicketyclick —

sickly screens,
shooting
sixty
picture-frames
per second

Tickety ticktock, rapid-fire
photon cannons,
ripping holes
through our
faces

rectangles,
riddled with anxiety ridden
read scripts

the resultant
retinal scarring

Wicketywicked, weary eyes,
dripping with serrated pixels

triple dotted,
typing-awareness indicators
create silly suspenses,
inducing temporal
dramas,
emotional
micro-traumas

every second a slice
through my,
now practically nonexistent,
patience

Am I a server,
or am I a servant?

Eyes, sunken, with
withered skin

I'm waiting for my fix

Ding-ding
Bloop!
Pinggg
Here comes the dopamine! —

—Clicketyclick

a lupine prayer
to bear and bull
cry wolf
cry wolf
cry wolf
now look into his eyes
until you think like I do
and then take a desperate man
for his last penny
(finance options available)
go long on a cheeky Nando's
followed by
no
inflation
constant
expansion
short the small print
and profit from the fight
against pollution by
investing in the future
but as returns don't come cheap
diversify and purify the self
the Ganges is so polluted
it has gall bladder cancer
the main economic indicators
are telling us that
inflation is set to jump, while
British statisticians are optimistic
that the housing ladder
will continue to defy gravity
as it is an export barometer
with a blue eyed quant inside
crying wolf
crying wolf
cry wolf

It only takes one step to walk over the edge
And if your heart is as cracked as the canyon under your feet,
I suggest you back away from it
Because the split rocks scattered around you
Are not good indicators of
The split seconds it would take
For your hands to reach the heavens and
Your face to connect with the ground beneath
And although your only thought is
Whether you would finally be able to fly
And reach the other side
You are only a human
Standing with your barefeet pressed into sand
And your toes kissing a ledge
And although you can't fly right now
That doesn't mean you never will
But it only takes one step to walk over the edge.

You left me with scars
Deeper than those I’ve given myself
With only your gritty hands.

You took a beautiful act
And stained it with grease
Ruining it for any future lover.

Yet, you used my experience with others
To justify your actions
Because you “love me so much more.”

You abused me like a child;
Expecting loyalty
And punishing me regardless.

But you “loved” me;
You manipulated me
Into thinking it was my fault.

If I stopped letting you explore
The body you felt entitled to
You threatened suicide.

I was poisoned into believing
That you actually cared for me
When you were breaking me slowly every day.

We were best friends
Until my mind caved in on itself
And my body was too broken to love.

I chose my life over yours.
You’re suicide instead of my repeated ****.
Yet you’re still breathing.

Parts of me died every time you touched me
And when I felt incapable of continuing
You offered money in return.

Considering my financial situation
You knew I couldn’t say no
So I sold you my body.

Emotionless you left me
Stealing breath from my lungs
And life from my veins.

I gave up
Once paid, I left you
But I’d see you anyways.

On the bus.
In the halls.
That day of the final payment.

An envelope full of money
Left me feeling even more empty
Realizing what I lost for it.

With it you left a note
And your prized possession
The indicators of your impending death.

You said you were sorry.
You said you loved me.
You lied.

While I’m happy you never took your life
I’m dead inside still
Because of you.

You took ownership of my body
Without my permission
And you left it broken and incomplete.

Those pieces of me you stole
I will NEVER get back
And you don’t even know you’re a ******.

I feel stupid and scared when my insecurity exposes What I am. My environment, biology, and temperament make the perfect storm to What I am. What I wear, what I look like, what I do, what I enjoy, what I buy, all lead me to these tangible ideas of what I am. The most dangerous ideas are the ones that make me look and feel good. They get addicting……But how horribly great is it to be rescued with the humility of a juicy failure? I can see this best when my actions slow down to keystrokes. In hindsight my biggest failures are my greatest successes. Now only if I could conquer the great quest to be a great failure. Then I’d be free to be What I Am with no vices or pain! But alas the ideas of perfection keep scuffing my ego. I’m getting better at failing and maybe one day I’ll be perfect at it! So you see my dilemma? Well I wish it stopped there but alas there’s another variable in the mix that makes my dilemma turn barbaric: and it is the Who I AM (Soul). What I am (Body) is not the Who I Am (soul). So the paradox begins “For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.”(Galatians 5:17) Sworn enemies now inhabit the same space and it’s impossible to separate them through this process called humanity. Their like roommates who hate each other to the point of ******! Now the key word in the scripture is "battle" which means two things:
1. I can win a battle-I can lose a battle
2. I can be lazy-I can be prepared.
For you see the Earth touches the What I am (body) with temptation and fears that many times distracts me from manifesting the full potential of Who I Am (Soul).

I’ve spent my whole life fighting for the identity of What I Am (body) when in the end the whatever I am dies with my body. The What I am can not continue to rout my soul. In our culture there is an infinite amount of ways to build on the perishing What I Am and only a few for recognizing the who I am. But I must fight back on the side of Who I am (soul) which is eternal. This is scary and definitely unpopular to the What I am is what makes me happy Yolo culture but let’s get serious. Here’s some indicators of a losing battle: Insecurity, pride and jealousy are great signatures on the victory flags of the What I Am (body) camp. Here is where you can ask yourself deeper questions and reconsider. This will be far more scary and painful than you can ever imagine because this deals with what you have always perceived as your identity for your entire life. This is the road less traveled. The time is now!!!!! My battle cry is: “Jesus by your strength only do I claim victory of Who I Am!”…………………. If anyone wants to talk I'm here to learn and grow:)

Debtors and creditors
Declining stock
High sales
heartless flock

Profit is aim
Impractical gain
Weather is good
Never cared to enjoy the rain

Captured soul
Under the debris of files
Running one after the other
Honesty dying in front of lie

Stylishly tucked in suits
And heart tailor made of wood
As only then will justiy
What we did and what we should

Hitting hard with financial indicators
Stock in hand or sundry creditors
Breathe out this craziness
Seek pleasure in the little things
And make life a lot better


Manisha

Let's do a scan
on the Yucatan
peninsula
where
man is one
with the sea.

In Avalon a
castle submerges
and
Arthur emerges with
a sword.

Microphones
who invented them
when listening was what
men do?

On another note,
a sick note
I
am not well and
Arthur's just a part of
my hallucination.

I am going to try speaking some reckless words, and I want you to listen to them recklessly.

Burning Man is an invitation to a collective art experience, similar to that of the Jew’s mass revelation at Sinai, to be converted into little children and enter the gates of heaven together.

In Black Rock City, There is no money, no commercialization, only a gift economy of free cooperation, supported by the radical ethos of self-reliance, self-actualization, and radical inclusion.  

One friend, who happened to live the life of a hobo artist, commented that she felt that burners were paying to experience life as a hobo. I understand the experience as a way to live openly without attachment and give freely without attachment, and as the saying goes, the playa provides.

In Black Rock City, There is no us and them, because as one citizen so aptly put it to me as I thanked him for the gift of some unknown chemical, “We’re all ravers here man.” And We we’re and are all raving mad, dancing to the song of the desert, everything everything everything, yet no one died there, no children were harmed.

Socio-Economic status indicators are less apparent at Black Rock City, dress is both shabby and marvelous, as many are in the hippy Mad Max apocalyptic desert tribal grindhouse gear of their choosing, or naked as the day they were born, covered in dust.  

The happiest man I witnessed, sat naked in full lotus, serenely smiling to himself, dreadlocks draped over his shoulders rocking back and forth at a woman’s wedding where she married her self.  He knew the open secret.

This strikes at the heart of the matter, there in the desert, there is an awareness, that every citizen is in an act of participatory art happening in the now, you may wear your body without shame, without scorn or derision, or even a second glance, you may simply be in all your human glory, in whatever mode of conscious, whatever identity or avatar you choose.

Comfort of touch arises in this open, relaxed atmosphere of non-repression, Hugs are standard greeting, and last a deliciously long time compared to our society. Cathartic emotional release arises, encouraged by freedom from social conditioning, laws, and traditional mores. There is a fervent, accepted development of comradeship, the beautiful, sane affection of man for man, latent in all the young fellows, north south east and west.

Rumi’s quote on Zoroastrian’s wheel reads, “Come, come, whoever you are, Wanderer, idolator, worshipper of fire, even though you have broken your vows, a thousand times, Come, and come yet again. Ours is not a caravan of despair.”

In this living environment of artful community empowerment new social standards arise, more equivalent to private desire, as there is increased ****** illumination, new social codes made manifest that rid us of fear of our own nakedness, rejection of our own body.

This stands in stark contrast to the present condition of life for American Person, which is one of deathly public solitude and mass commercialization.
We’ve built a technological Tower of Babel around ourselves, and are literally reaching into heaven to escape the planet. The stupendous machinery surrounding us conditions our thoughts, feelings, and reinforces our mental slavery to the material universe we’ve invested in, the separation and tension this creates can be felt walking down the street avoiding stranger’s eyes.

I say all this tremendous and dominant play of solely materialist bearings upon current life in the US, with the results already seen, accumulating, and reaching far into the future, that they must either be confronted and met by at least an equally subtle force infusion for purposes of spiritualization, for the pure conscience, for genuine esthetics, and for absolute and primal manliness and womanliness – or else our modern civilization, with all its improvements is in vain, and we are on the road to a destiny, to that of the fabled ******.


How can we Americans make our minds change theme? For unless the theme changes-encrustation of the planet with machinery, inorganic metal smog, violent outrage and mass ****** will take place. We witness these horrors already.

Abruptly then, I will make a first proposal: on one level symbolic, but to be taken as literally as possible, it may shock some and delight others – that everybody who hears my voice, directly or indirectly, try the chemical LSD at least once; every man woman and child American in good health over the age of 14, find a kindly teacher or guru guide and assay their consciousness with LSD – that if necessary, we have a mass emotional nervous breakdown in these States once and for all.  

Then I prophecy, we will all have seen some ray of glory or vastness beyond our conditioned social selves, beyond our government, beyond America even, that will unite us into a peaceable community.  I hope this will be understood not as the solution, but a typical and spiritually revolutionary catalyst, where many varieties of spiritual revolution are necessary to transcend specifically the political Hobbesian cold war we are all involved in.

I would invite you to step away from your rational mind
Seek inner space awareness
May the long time sun shine upon you
And all love surround you, and the pure light within you, shine your way on

The sun seemed to rise slowly, almost hesitantly, this morning - a yellow syrup pouring into a deep, dark blue sky. The air is hot and thick, like a low viscosity liquid. We’re going out on the boat this morning and when you have 9 passengers and crew, everyone’s toting something.

Kim and Bili have towels and a shoulder bag of sunscreen lotions and repellents, Charles has a cooler with everything needed to make breakfast omelets on the grill (the eggs have been pre-beaten, the veggies pre-chopped, the cheese grated, the meat diced).

Anna and Lisa are toting a cooler of sodas buried in ice. Leong has the “dry box” with phones, Nintendo switches, kindle readers and iPads. Leong’s rolling a luggage rack of textbooks, Sunny has a large coffee thermos, and Sophy has a bag with dry clothes for everyone.

The girls are practically running over each other in their eagerness to be last onboard because the first two get to towel the night’s condensation off everything.

I carried the lunch cooler full of Chick-fil-a sandwiches, but my main job is to check the indicators and disconnect the dockside water, drainage and electrical feeds as Charles takes the helm and begins his “preflight” before he fires up the Mercury 500-hp engines. I know we’re a “go” when he turns on the underwater lights - that’s my signal to cast off.

The engines roar to life and then purr as we slowly pull away from the dock, we girls greasing ourselves up with sunblock. The air conditioning begins to help but picking up speed is what finally breaks the hold of the oppressive heat.

As we exit the marina Charles opens-up on the throttle and that’s always a thrill. We usually ski first, before the lake gets crowded, and lounge later.

Sunny, Leong and Anna like to sit in the bow, refreshed by occasional lake spray and the wind-whipped cool. Leong likes to sit in the cabin, like Charles’ copilot while the rest of us recline on lounges facing rearward to watch the skiers.

Our summer mornings have passed like this, launching around 6 am, skiing, then swimming, studying and getting off the lake before the noontime “heat advisories” and afternoon thunderstorms.

Later, I’m relaxing in the shade, having just gotten out of the lake, and I’m on my iPad.

“What are you writing?” Anna asks.

“Oh, I write poetry and stories - mostly stories these days but there is some occasional poetic recidivism.” I say.

“You write poetry?” She repeats, as if shocked, “I didn’t think there were any poets left.”

“Well,” I say, “Most poets died, in the early flames of science, trying to prove the pen was mightier than the sword, but there are still poets around - they live in cities where they’ll try and wash your windshield if you stop at a traffic light, and they’re frequently mistaken for the homeless - or they may actually be homeless.”

“Can I read some of your writing?” She asks, after waiting through my long joke.

“Absolutely NOT.” I answer.

Listed bookmarks of old, and baited non-benifit of the doubters.

A kind rewinded word of advice heard, pattern of choices and actions made a bested resounding thunderous sound,
near then , how come the doubters tested and warned to the trap not come, where graced benefit of the doubt be a stated consideration on that very **** day?

To the impact indicators blinking a sudden turn of the coat or is it the tail wagged the dog in the fog of a psychological electronic war that must be raging in the minds of the internet cheerful happy people as not it has in the walk and mind of mine, for i laid bare so as to share the scare i knew to find , and thus almost lost it all , wit correction, but you cast a guilt-ed hazy trash to one more that willing to best you and test you for the proven faith and trust he already gave, oh wait, or was that simply entertainment for the view of you ?  so, um, sit down, you could have listened to me and gave benefit of the doubt, or did you forget what all this is truly all about? saving those whom have and  are being manipulated into utter turmoil and death by these blood sport  games in these windows... remember there "friend"?  or is it ol craig and his lists are totally as bad off as little ol me, for shurly you see, that even she is free to some degree and will as i have walked all through , forgiven, yet my dear friend, do you think such grace for me? considering,most forget why the hell we have been doing all this and i walked you all through such ******* things... oh, sorry, i am sure you were getting around to that human trafficking thing, right? well, at least there are good people doing that as we speak, and for them we are grateful, are you?
Oh and no i am not mad nor upset, just disappointed, i always tell you what is coming and to choose. and still i harm you not even if it harm me.

The Unforgiven I,II and III - Metallica - (LYRICS)
h ttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-HiAEXQP38

Motörhead - Ace of Spades (slow Acoustic version)
h ttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tc-PVTj9UCk

AC DC - Who Made Who lyrics
h ttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuFq3ynnBo8

AC DC Ride On
h ttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugwlIQ8K4Vs

I know you imagine me to be strong
Build me up in this image
Of a person with attitude, guts
Too much anger, too headstrong
Too much of a stereotype,
Too much of a misfit

But I don't ask that you think differently
You see I am sort of used to people walking away
And I had rather you see me as infallible
Than as something to be pitied, as someone vulnerable
To their cheap attacks, to your barbed remarks
I wish that you would- could - understand
That I am something terribly moody
But I can be good. Yes, I am good

I can be better if you'd listen to me
Let me in but don't demand too much from me
I will try to leave everything undisturbed
Heal a scar or two then walk out from your heart
Without having occupied any position of interest
Or importance

I wouldn't mind. I have been relegated to the background
once again
But I am infallible

My scars aren't meant to be pitied
Or sympathized with
I hate that you think you can understand
When you don't
I don't care about what you've been through
Until you've been with me for years
You've seen all that I have to offer
Because believe me
I'd never trust anyone with everything
If they haven't even been around that long

Some might think this is all there is to it
But I can tell you that there are a million things
Left to learn about me
So wait. Calm yourself. Let us be but don't just let me be
Don't rush for me, don't slow down for me
Just let me walk at my own pace but if you see me falter,
Then check if I'm fine. Make it known that you care
Believe me it helps when I'm with a blade.
You don't know how the simple gestures affect me

How they shake the ground beneath my feet
How they make me smile
How my world changes

So please. Just care for me. But don't ask- demand- too much of Me
Don't put me up on some pedestal, don't think of me as fragile
My scars, the ones I will slowly begin to show to you,
Aren't indicators of that.
I am proud of them- intensely proud
I've fought and I've died a million times on the inside
I've cried and I hated myself the most through these years

(I used to tell myself those barbed remarks
Every single criticism, I would sit up and repeat it to myself
So that I never got ahead of myself
Everything they said, how much they didn't like me,
Didn't care for me.
I sat up and repeated all of that to myself
Every. God. ****. Night.
Hoping someone would call just so I'd have an excuse to quit
But no one ever did -was ever up, ever available- at such times
So I'd just continue)

Despite everything, inspite of everything
I stopped. I had the strength- with or without
Anyone- anyone- being there
Respect- love- me a little bit for it
Hate that I do this to myself
Tearing into myself,
Tearing myself down into such tiny pieces
Making myself into this small entity
Hate it. Detest it. Loathe it.

Tell me that.

But never stop telling me
Don't do that blindly though
Please listen to me as well
Don't blind yourself to how
I am marginally better everyday
Even if there are so manymany setbacks
Be honest with me
I wouldn't care if you talked badly of me then
Because I'd know that you truly loved me then
(yes. yes, i would)

So please. Just give yourself
Just give me  
A chance to be who I am around you
Don't expect it to happen too fast
I swear I'll be there by your side
If you called for me
I'd always look out for you
I would stick up for you
When your lover wouldn't do that either
Don't be afraid of how different
And moody I am
I'll always be there for you
Just call me
And give us time-time-time

We're like two subways passing each other in a tunnel, you and I
There are lights that dot the sides of tunnel,
attempting to guide us through,
but we hardly acknowledge them.
We can see each other in the darkness,
the subtle outline of metal,
the red and white indicators of our existence.
We're carrying so many people in our cars,
people from our past that sit in cars,
each representing different stages of who we are.
And we try and steer these subways through the dark,
searching for one another.
Yours just as full as mine.
The rickety tracks push metal against metal that ring through the hollow of our ears.
And we become distracted by this screeching,
this friction between the rails and our wheels,
and lose sight of each other.
Every station we pull into -
Museum, Queen's Park, St. Patrick -
we expect to catch a glimpse of one another -
going in opposite directions but comforted by the fact that we are in the same station.
We might pick up the same passenger but at different locations,
at different times.
Our paths cross haphazardly.
But I keep wishing that one day
all the lights will point towards me,
and your wheels will stop inches from mine.
And you will look into my cars
and see all those people that have made me,
and I will look into your cars and see all the people that made you
and you will realize
and you will say
"I don't want to keep going from station to station.
I've found my passenger."

A speckle of light in the dark
a thought, or is it a feeling?
I approach it cautiously,
protective gloves, sterilized tweezers, chemical test kits
Douse the specimen in iodine, apply indicators,
flatten, view under a microscope, put the images through filters,
Compare and contrast with previous samples.
I strain myself to determine its nature most accurately.

Is this feeling irrational?
Maybe justified, yet exaggerated?
Or real, true, pure...

I can't tell.
I bend, I break, I wring what's left of my mind dry
but these methods are proven insufficient.
no way to differentiate

I take off the gloves.
ELIMINATE
So there's nothing in the way
THEM
As I crush their wriggling bodies between my fingers.
ALL

All I do is turn life to dead silence

It's safe after all. unchanging, stable.

Pure black feels almost soft.

Nothing but void. Just this.

So simple.
Sane.







but next time, I'll try again,
there must be
A different way

Concise, smooth
... in the mind's motor
Change the gears
... in the mind's motor.
Smooth transition
Up & Down
Forward & Reverse
The clutch
is not the crutch
the crucifix logo
on the bonnet
covering the forehead.

Pain on the dashboard
Diviners, decals or designators
Inflictors, innovators or inflexions
Pain on the Dashboard
Ignition, perception, cognition
waits for the turn key
in the soft tissue starter motor.

Turning indicators
flicker flash
amber red
there is no green.
Headlamps a dull glow
in the white hot agony
of the parking lot.
Robyn Youl.