I'M GLAD YOU
think there's more to me than this
I'm glad that when the sun shines
it shines right onto your back
I'm glad it darkens your skin
and brightens your mood
I'm glad we are complete opposites
you smile at me and I smile back
you'll never be as neat as me
I'M GLAD YOU
say you love me
I'm glad that you love me
I'm glad you think you do
I'm glad that I'm not sure if I love you
it's easier this way
we stay, ok, we don't, cool
nothing really matters to me
I'd rather be halfway than
completely hindered
I'd rather be halfway than
completely hindered
I'd rather be halfway than
completely hindered

Gilded cage so small and tiny
Even singing comes out whiny
Stinking of fake fresh and piney
Tis the season
Leaking water warm and briny
With good reason

Christmas cheer and glasses toast
Loved ones smile and laugh and boast
I sit perched upon my post
A tinsled column
Invisible reluctant host
A heart that's solemn

A longing for a love so distant
The melancholy is persistent
A smile could erase it in an instant
On a face cherubic
For my heart is not resistent
It's theraputic

So that smile that is perfection
Is mirrored in my own reflection
Without a thought about rejection
Hallucinations
About the subtlest inflection
In Salutations

Surrounded by the merrily intense
With drunkard tendencies immense
A bar with all accoutrements
They pound tequila
Drinking away the sacraments
Oh yes, I feel ya

Merry time with old Kris Kringle
Guests all lubed enough to mingle
Mistletoe hangs and sleigh bells jingle
Gifts homemade
Tables adourned and glasses tingle
Gold brocade

Still I sit all caged and flightless
Blind to joy all sad and sightless
Drink could make it hurt a mite less
I'm going backward
Laying here all limp and lifeless
Broke and fractured

Surrounded by the fake and vexing
Artificial and quite perplexing
Reality they are rejecting
The devil may care
Bellies bare and muscles flexing
Lost underwear

So ******* dancing to the jukebox
Lost alone here in the boondocks
There is no snow upon the rooftops
Ahead they forge
Find a room before that thing pops
It's so engorged

Neighbor ***** all dressed in orange
Wearing gold to make the poor cringe
Stripping time to fill her syringe
I'll be her hinderance
Still too drunk from her last binge
Faulty remembrance

Ridding riff raff from the party
People still drunk on Bacardi
Noxious gasses burp and farty
With toilets makeshift
Worn out makeup on the smarty
She needs a facelift

Time to let the people go
Too tired to keep watching the show
Drinking hard and walking slow
Verbose yet listless
Honey I don't want to know
It's not my business

I love your sensitivity
nurture it, it's a treasure
like a superhuman power
said noone to anybody ever

You're upset oh no- I must fix this-
you're broken, please don't cry
these tears make me uncomfortable
supress them, make them dry

A perfectly natural display
of normal human behaviour
is seen by some as weak
too feminine, a problem, a failure

Stop being so ****** sensitive
they're just animals, killed for us
now eat up all your diner
and stop making such a fuss

Don't question, object or argue
just nod, agree and grin
there's no place for emotional outbursts
in the society we're in

It seems sometimes today
with all this mad confusion
in a world of talking robots
we've forgotten that we're human

Yes I want to notice a smartly-dressed
pensioner alone by a train,
to image how it feels
feel his wisdom, feel his pain

because to feel a pull of emotion
glancing at a passing strangers eyes
is neither a weakness nor a hinderance
but a blessing in disguise

               ~

Oh, they notice.
Yes, we do.
It just for ethical reason of manners.
We must not admit to the truth.

Oh, we notice the hips, the lips, the walk.
Yeah, men's notice this all about you.

Even with their spouse.
And they about to break their necks not to look.
Believe me.
Men's notice you.

The debate between them.
Is long as they don't touch.
Many feels it's not a big deal.
But on the other hand.
You'll hear the religious segments talking about lusting after them.
When in reality, it's them hiding in pretense.

Men's notice.
Whether within church.
Whether at work.
Men's notice.

Whether in the park.
Or relaxing in the pool.
Men's notice.
And believe me.
Women knows, who's looking too?

To some, it's a compliment.
To others, it's a hinderance.
But either way men's notice.

They always do.
Except, some like to play the blind man game.
As, if they don't see a single thing.

We notice, the eyes, the hands, the skin.
Some even go beyond respect to notice your friends.

Where do this noticing begins to end?

A lifetime of  ineffective tactics;

A solemn occlusion
Such an obscene intrusion--
(To break through  the confusion
brought on  by  The Illusion)

Within  seclusion,
is felt  the Conclusion--
the only one for me.
Heaven will be my Hell
(I know that too well..)

From a whole lifetime
  Summed up 

within the word, "Fail".
.      .      .      .      .     .      

Here on Earth
I feel the presence of Heaven
And  within me
I know..
I know..
I know..

I know.

What gain  is A Forever in Heaven?
I already feel it in me--
   But it is not me.

Yet, within me..  it  is  me;
and it will never.. ever leave.

Sweet Love of mine..
whom I can't seem
to break through, to
In order to  truly be there
   for you.

   Help me  to earn
         the right
   To descend in to Hell
(where there is no longer
the strength of Illusion)
Here,  I am not that strong;
I cannot break through it
   There..   in Gehenna
will be the removal  of illusion..
    Leaving only The View,  

      (.. no hinderance.)
.      .      .      .      .     .     .     .

Hell  is  the  View.. 
  perfectly seen,   from


  the most unbearable
                      distance.


May  what is in me
never leave me
And the Hell,  of Hell
   be,  to me
  like  a  Forever  Rising  Sun..
The most incredible, Heaven.
(the removal of illusion)

I pray you're not there..
   (almost  as much..)

Selah.


       My Heaven;
is to be with  anyone
       or everyone
(apart from  the illusion)

In order to  truly be there
   for them.

Unmask me if I dare impede
The character I am now is unchanged
This is knowledge of my own undertaking.
But there is something only you could see.

Dismantle me if I barricade
My feelings have no meaning
There is a blank expression on my face.
I move in time before I freeze.

Where do you find the courage,
Who provided you with the gall to say
"Oh dear, sweet hindrance"
Be released.

I originally wrote this as a song, but after a while I came to like it better as a poem.

I remember the first time I saw you,
It was a star filled summer's night.
I couldn't find the courage to talk to you at first sight.
No tight game to run
No tricks up my sleeve
My heart said "you have a chance", but my brain wouldn't let me believe...
That the most beautiful girl I had ever seen would talk to a geek like me.

It would be a year or so before our paths would cross again,
Maybe it was luck, or maybe I had some help from the wind.
It blew me in your direction...
No course. Me young and reckless, you fragile and the essence of perfection.
On that day we met I found my courage, opened up and made small talk as we passed back and forth a bright, alive ciggarette.
To you it was small talk, to me it meant the world
To you it was nothing, to me it was one step on a long road that ended with me calling you my girl.
Years passed and we grew close, but my confidence vanished, like an apiration, a ghost.
I had my chances, knew what could be...but my brain still wouldn't believe that a girl like you could see something in a geek like me.

More time has passed,
And our distance has grown.
All that signs that I once saw have now vanished on that road.
The love I was trying to weave, could no be sewn, and the word love has become nothing more than a hinderance, a drone.

The nostalgia those times hold will never be replaced
and neither will the feelings I get whenever I come across your grace.
Those star filled nights will be held as some of my best, I know this might come as a surprise to you, but I just had to get this off of my chest,
Needed to leave them etched in every line of this song...
I knew the queen in you wouldn't fall for this geek all along.

Closing without an appearance as it seemed into the mind of the clock a tick mentioned once my name and second to tick it the same and am I deferent or do I change what slept into the quite breath once too deep to further sleep  into dreams I wake to the many days of night or sleep to want more light which seems too ease through my eyes dare I blink once to notice and tire to know if anymore would late the stress that weighs like the psychotic sight to drown what left me a name mentioned to the corner of my face and speaks once as it did appear into an amount of ticking left in into my head as left unsaid I walked cornered to my face into the mirror I face my turn into the beginning of what I meant to mention smiles turn and my eyes wait far from idle and look I present the finish face of an internal clock of missing parts that were filled like the hand of mechanical man like knuckles busted turned to every click like clink a shuffling grasp of machine like hands into the machine forgotten like death onto the machine clock, tick and falls all the names goes into your name ***** the **** name

A tempest moulders in the distant air,
Obscured by darkness, thick with arrogance;
The intermittent rumblings make aware
That night of fright that skirts our sentience.

There is no use in preparations now,
The wrath impending is without withdrawal.
Would only we had heeded nature's vow,
The worst might not descend in disavowal.

Yet here we stand in pooling ignorance,
The very atmosphere our own regret,
For as the price of foresight's hinderance,
We stand to fare this evening sopping wet.

A tempest moulders, filled with looming light.
That we expect it shall not ease this night.

Who am I
This flesh and bone cage
Proving a hinderance
A canvas for the paint
Of scorn and judgement
A creation of a persecution
Deserved by none
Who I am buried
Beneath brush strokes
Colors that mean nothing
When looked at with a blind eye
My canvas is one of love
An identity and struggle
One that smudges
Strays from between the lines
Of what is accepted
But on my life's canvas
Who I am is who I am
One that I do not even know at times
Each stroke of the brush
Is a different moment
My life in color
Vivid, all mine

Supine and enamored in cotton sheets.
Motionless, with vessels dilated at the time.

The filtered light makes it’s journey.
Warmed by the hour, warned by the noise.

A voiceless yawn, a reflex, and then stretch.
A conscious gasp followed by flaccidity.

Yet the day before, perpetuates
the morning after.

Evenings always seem to foretell
the prior hours of our working days.

If the day moves, without faults
we speak in a elated way.

When a hinderance appears
and untimely tragedy commits.

The liquid labor may be your vice
to secure then admit vulnerability.

Nothing more are the stumbles
that only gather footing
and stand against
the door opening

to traffic, streets garnered
with endless glows
within our restless minds
finding exits to resetting the past
and just returning home

Now high and dry, well away from
***** being kicked, orders being fired by
Sergeants in habits and the melancholy of misled minds,
I sit alone on the desk which floats supreme over life's listless limits.

A momentary meander allows for ripe reflection,
Its sharp spasm hampering heavy hands.
Abandoning the tangle of thoughts,
A loose leaf was plucked from the ream,
The quill now dipped in the bobbing black bottle.

Smudges and streaks stroke the initial lines,
Blotted out in choked coughs.
A quickening of the rapid's pace cleared the throat,
Allowing the quill to quell the heart's hinderance.
Stanzas threaded unabatedly over man's baseness on the blanched leaf.

The nightmare nine-metre vomiting verge approached fast.
I clinched the closing couplet
Afore etching the endangered ink on the etherised skin of my hand.
Holding on fiercely now to the desk which destroyed my drudgery,
Ready now to have my lungs filled to the brim with society’s sap.

Prior to the old soul taking its final breath,
Two bleeding and blessed eyes cast down to the bottom of the aquatic monster
Witnessed the immortality of black ink intact
Lifting up its lover leaf
Into the high heavens above,
Where man and rust cannot corrupt.

Words no longer matter
The world no longer exists
only you and me
touching endlessly
loving without hinderance
only you and me
working for each other
cherishing every last minute
only you and me
melting into one
It’s a little too much fun
only you and me
cuddling so close
The movie playing softly
only you and me
slowly                 drift         away
content
with
being
with
you
only you and me.

Awake in a hell that tortures every day.
This heart is renching fit to burst,
My audience watches with relentless thirst.
Dancing in the firing line my vision starts to sway,
watching eyes rigid as hearts strings fade and fray.
Oblivious in loves rythm i cry hear me sing!
suspended on my lovers silver wing.
Then fall together like birds of a feather,
Stain their hearts with your sumptuous melody,
then we erupt in screams that pierce ones dreams,
that in one instance wipe away the elegence.
but in memory lies your timeless remedy,
which force together traumas blood soaked seams.
and free from the flesh you fly devoid of hinderance.

Whatever decision I make.. it always seems that I regret making that decision. ..I always wonder how life would be if I had made another instead. 
 
It seems no matter what I am always being too ******* myself. At least that is what I keep hearing. No matter how familiar it may become there is always a sense of uncertainty and confusion. 
 
A face I have seen.... a face that I have kissed.... the person I have held in my arms... it doesn't take long for them to become strange again. And as soon as they do.... I sink a little farther down. 
 
I would like to have been something else. Someone else. Someone different.... One that wouldn't disappoint nor hurt you like I have. I didn't realize how much I was hurting you. I have failed in what I value the most.... protecting the ones I love. I have failed you.. 
 
You look so beautiful. This smile I see you wear.. It reflects upon me. I realize that smile wasn't there before when I was standing next to you.... The smile I tried to coax out never needed my help... or was it hinderance? 
 
I don't know..

Our inner demons shout out
As we dance inside
A prelude to inner harmony
Or a doorway of unknowing
Imagine where we are
Can You?
Does uncertainty gather strength?
Or merely security
One and the same
Not so, not strength gathers
Security hinders

Praise God, did you hear what President Trump just said?

Thus was I greeted on my way to get the mail.
Least said, soonest mended, pokes me below the fifth rib.

Yes, you mock the idea.
The idea that peace may be made by mortals without war.
I should have said nothing, but then
there'd be none of this
ruderous playful joy I feel.

I claim the inheritance of those who trouble
their own house with servants
sent from god, God, the, of thee ineffable name,
who created
messaging means,
literal winds of servitude, ministering spirits,
sent to serve as useful urges to do or say
for them who are about to be
klero-nomeno, clearly named, heirs of soteria?

Useful for what, old man?

Guides, GPS apps in your knower, like a chron job reminder,
do this now, in this situation.
There are gear trains, wheels in wheels, seeing always
at once, if you can imagine,
molecular machines with minds of their own…

watch I say, I just smile, Mona Lisa trick, I look you in the ear,
see what I said. Not in the eye, look fifteen degrees left.
I see as
life and truth, the way they work together
making up minded beings for
narrow focus function,
on off signal send signal accept, receive deceive

connect, reject, find no fault that is not over-seen
as being no hinderance,
to the whole truth.
- It all started with this woman I know is a Trump
- and Joel Osteen fan…
- she greets me, happy, bubbly about how funny Trump
- is, she says,
- he says treehuggers caused the fires, so Californians can pay
- to put them out.
- AH, she pierced my concentration on the point I was making
- What did you say,
- and If, if, if I had said nothing…

A wife, an old, mother of 3.5 children, from three
******, all men are ******, she believes,
so,
why do I kick against them? Hmmm. let me lie
and say
because it is the will of God, my heavenly father, she say,

sashay sassie lassie -- old and grey and given to rants
on Trump being God's choice…

not yours, you tree-hugging *** smoking hypocrite hermit

praying in the wilderness where no man can hear.
Shunning bully pulpit sycophantom spirits
leading silly, in the modern sense, wombed men away.
- I don't say
Peace as made in me, purges hate spewed my way,
venom weakens me a while, then
the idea of stomping snakes,
strengthens me.
I walk away.
This is joy. Winning by default, having nothing to lose.

--------------
True crazy, it seems, a certain spirit is on a patience building
assignment,
angels assigned to poke and ***** and itch like a hair shirt
on an Iberian saint in shining armor.

Have ye no armor, naked ape? Is this not the same as nekkid,
are ye not ashamed,
not even a scapula to hide the demon's thumbprint?
Is this a witch of the west living
for soothing sayings, yet

she mocks my smile, and sneers a wish for my good day.
- I don't say
shall we condemn the claimer to
God's first be-atitudenal blessed class,
Peacemaker, are you allowed to
mock the peacemaker, raise waving serpent subtile digits,
bow and mock as
Protesting Missionaries mock singers of silent songs called
prayers?

Yes, thank you. I did say.

Bless these hands
Protect the land
find the design of mind is soul’s reminder that we are but a twinkle in the sand
Whimsical impulses bombastically pull and convulse until stimulation ignites the tribulations of ego and the false
Yet in truth it is a revealing of time’s “bones”
Nature’s healing the dealing of aches and moans generations concerned with the sounds of their groans than the balance of tone
Perhaps we actually become aware when we’re alone and see the illusion as a ride on the tide of infinity and not a hinderance to our divinity
And that at least in this dimension nothing is permanent and only change is the constant  that gravity and reality proceed from

A new world
with new eyes
this is a lucky experience.
to be able to start new
in a world that has been around
forever.
yet everything
the moon
the trees
the stars
my world
my moon
my trees
my stars
have changed
its gotten rounder
grown taller
shined brighter

To forgive and forget
but not completely.
remember where you came from
remember people that changed you
learn from those mistakes.
learn from those successes
don't forget them
they shaped you as a person
and some of those aspects
will never change
but don't let them deter you
from reaching the dreams
you wish to pursue now

Change is a blessing
as much as it is a hinderance
The ways it changes you
hinders the way you once knew
the way you knew to run your world
your new world.
with your new eyes.

I am so lost
Wandering here and there.
Until I met you.
Wanted to become one..
Saw those two  magnificent
Entrance  leading to your Soul.
Round yet Oval.
Assymetrically Beautiful.  
One Clear the Other
with Slight Hinderance.
As the Sun Rays hit
Saw the Pure Whiteness
Blinding me for ever.