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Alicia Sep 2015
heartbreaks like bad breaks
make bad days feel like fate
heartbreaks like new wounds
for more hope to heal soon
heartbreaks like inmates
that do time for mistakes
heartbreaks like small snakes
with fear there but it's fake
heartbreaks like brown dirt
with brown eyes and more hurt
heartbreaks like old men
with old lessons and new men
heartbreaks like better days
that move on in better ways
it gets better
marion Mar 2018
I keep my feelings on a leash,
locked in a cage like the perpetrators of crime.
Sometimes I take them out for walks
to test out their rarely used legs on the ground.
Only too reel them back in,
too scared to let them wander,
wander towards those who let theirs loose freely,
not caring where they step.
For I have learned that this only leads to hurt.
Stubbed toes on the curbsides called love.
Failed attempts at crossing the crosswalk,
into the depths of someones shallow, unforgiving arms.
Not paying attention to the Stop sign right next to them.
Over and over, I wish I would've noticed that sign sooner..
Before all the heartbreaks and fallen tears.
And that is why
the footwork of my heart, kept captive in the dark,
is sleeping in silence for perhaps eternity
this is the poem I used to apply for this community. not my best work, but still, I thought I should share.
Emma Pickwick Aug 2015
We were beautiful children
And we grew up so brave,
We were touched by death and heartbreaks but we stayed just the same.

We listen to jazz all night and drink red wine,
Find ourselves adventure to pass the time,
We don't talk much about the pain we've felt inside,
No more bumps in the road,
Just enjoying the ride.

Our love is too strong to carry weight of what's gone,
We find peace in the sun,
And the belief of being young.

Love of mine in the world,
We are one in the same,
You can laugh while you're crying and be childish when you lose games,
We are fine, we are okay,
We are in love,
And our children someday will be just like us.
Arturo Hernandez Jan 2015
A gentleman
Never forgets
The heartbreaks
That made him
Who he is today,
Nor does he forget
That the lessons
Will continue.
A gentleman
Will keep learning,
Forever,
As long as he remains
True to himself,
And the things
for which
He stands.
on Valentine’s Day he is working on black painting hears knocking at door with rag brushes in hand he asks “who is it?” “it’s Reiko! come on mr. birdfishdog open up” he has grown afraid of her nervously shuffles brushes rag in hand guardedly opens door there stands Reiko Lee Furshe shoulders pulled back arms akimbo black leather jacket black tight jeans black pointed toe boots hair cut extremely short looks like handsome young boy grinning “hi aren’t you going to invite me in? want to **** and ****?” Reiko’s altered appearance suddenness alarm Odysseus "why did you cut your hair Reiko Lee?" she says "it’s my hair and I can do what I want with it i shaved my legs armpits and ***** too want to have a look?" he replies "no no way why? why did you cut your hair?" she says "because i felt like it and because i know how much you love my hairiness Odys i wanted to displease you i’m female again!" she defiantly glares at him he looks away slowly closes door hears her holler “*******!” listens as footsteps race down stairs out building he drops paintbrushes rag rushes to front window looks out watches her saunter away down street until she is gone writes Reiko Valentine poem he will never send

love listens when you speak understands what you think love watches while you sleep love holds back as you leap love lounges while you run frantic love picks your pocket puts you in checkmate love builds nest hatches egg love rips open your chest plucks heart away love is racehorse love is rattlesnake love pretends not to notice while you ******* love swings on gate love visits your grave love impersonates a poet love slits your throat love devours everything leaves crumbs for hate

he receives Valentine card in mail from Mom wonders if ultimately his fate is somehow sorely connected to her what if Mom stands in way of every woman? what if stars lead away from recognition as painter instead steer straight back to Mom? what if each is trial to other as if their souls are entangled in insolvable riddle ancient curse? he drinks himself to sleep

Laius and Jocasta are king and queen of Thebes in ancient Greece they have baby boy oracle prophesies boy will grow up **** father marry mother to nullify prophecy Laius Jocasta decide to **** their son back then it is common to abandon unwanted or damaged baby on mountain for vultures child survives grows to be man he travels gets into fight on road kills stranger who unaware to him is his father King Laius traveler Oedipus goes to Thebes solves Riddle of Sphinx saves city he is made king unknowingly marries his own mother King Laius's widow Queen Jocasta Oedipus rules wisely he and Jocasta have four children eventually Oedipus and Jocasta realize what ******* Oedipus is Jocasta commits suicide Oedipus pokes out his own eyes becomes wandering beggar assisted by daughter Antigone at time of their marriage Oedipus is young naive but Jocasta is middle-aged woman maybe deep down Jocasta knows she is marrying her handsome son it is thrill to sleep with him maybe it is only after Oedipus realizes truth in disgust confronts Jocasta that she is driven to suicide Jocasta cannot live with herself because she has known truth all along and now she is found out Oedipus can live with himself yet he plucks out eyes because he never wants to see truth again

Odysseus continues to work on black painting many weeks pass slowly snowdrifts begin to melt on occasion sun appears in sky Penelope calls to catch up with him says she is in hurry has met really cool guy is falling in love again their conversation is brief he hangs up receiver considers how resilient Penelope’s heart is she seems so much more capable of getting over heartbreaks
J Apr 2014
Why is hellopoetry.com black and white? I've always wondered about this... why my colorful photographs are required to travel back in time. How does this effect the poetry in any way, shape, or form? But I understand the wisdom of this design now. And it sets a great metaphor for all of the people of the pen involved in this truly noble motion, this secret society for people with passion, talent, and troubled minds and souls. Hello Poetry is black and white not because it has to be monochromatic and modern, but because us poets fill these pages with enough inovativeness and color already with our words, ideas, thoughts, songs, senryus, ballads, heartbreaks, insecurities, that adding literal color to this website would be overwhelming. These soft undertones of gray, black, and white may be considered drab and depressing to some, but to us poets it represents timelessness. And this is probably why we are all here. Hourly, daily, weekly, monthly, or even yearly publishing poems. Because we all know we are not going to live forever, and we are so entirely insignificant in the broad scheme of things and of the universe itself, that it is a bit comforting and helpful to have this coping mechanism or soft blankie to calm our fears, that this literature we write, however insignificant it may be, is absolutley permanent. And that maybe someday it will be remembered so a small bit of us may live on. Tom Riddle knew the needs and wants of man kind before anybody else realized it. Maybe he was just trying to cope with the fact that he is insignificant. These poems are all our Horcruxes so *viveamus per camenam nostram.
^^^let us live through our poetry
Cathyy Feb 2015
It all started with..
"Watch your step when it comes, to finding true love.."
Oh girls like me may slip and fall,
If we don't dream so carefully i thought..
Well I'm a mermaid on the rocks with no feet at all..
Yet I'm running scared and I don't know, where to go..

But it's kind of exciting
I love the rhythm that flows,
in my writing
And you've got a hold,
On my rhyming,
I don't wanna let this, break..
(Oops)

See I love you,
how your 4 lettered name rolls off my tongue too,
I wanna dance to this song too,
I wanna be your day break now

There's a film in class which I think you'd like..
Well I'm just saying that because,
It's a rom com gangsta black&white;
Oh we're a silent film ourselves with lines of poetry as our speech..
And you're the heartbeat behind every piece I write and breathe

So can I stay for longer?,
I've been through heartbreaks before, & I've come out stronger
But you're not a heartbreak,
You're a Wonder..
A Scorpio Wonderland of stars..
Oh I love 'ya'
And I've got secrets to whisper at midnight,
I wanna see London light up only through your eyes
I'll be your special friend if you think that's alright..

It all started with;
A dreamer falling in and out of love..

But I'll be on the edge of the world with you if you ever wanted time to ever stop..
Hope you like this one, quite uplifting I believe..
Ivan Brooks Sr Jan 2018
I made it...
Though I haven't much of what it takes.
I certainly saw some pretty dark days
Though I have had my fair share of heartbreaks,
The Lord has blessed me in many ways.

I  made it...
Even though I've waddled in emptiness
And had my share of disappointments
And my equal share of Loneliness
I have also had so many blessed moments.

I Made It...
Though  I had my share of sorrow
Despite all this and through it all,
God kept me here to see tomorrow
I know by grace I will not fall.

I Made it...
Even though I made it without any money
And have had my share of Troubles,
I know my joy will come in the morning
For my meals will be served on many tables.

I made it!
I made it..against all odds, in spite of all, I'm grateful to God for life and providence.
PEARL SMOKE Jun 2018
Scared Prt 1.
2014
iM Scared Of Losing What
iHave Left.
iM Scared Of Seeing What
iHave Left Go Away.
iM Scared Of Disappointing
My Loved Ones Again.
iM Scared Of Being Reminded
What the reality of Drugs.                        can do once again.
iM Scared iF iM Sober Then Fall
iWont Ever Change again
iM Scared The Drugs Can
Take over me Like it Has before
Once more.
Scared Of Feeling Numb And Live The Whole Drug Addiction Cycle all over.

Scared prt 2.

I Relapsed & Now I'm worried.
Will I Go back to my old ways?
As much as I desire The Feeling of escaping my reality,
I can't live Like that. I don't want to be a drug addict all over again.
The Feeling Is pleasant . The Living of being 1 Is Horrific.

Scared prt 3
2017
I’m scared
Of never finding hope
To believe my life has no worth
To never finding a light
To get lost in the
Darkness of my depression.
Im Scared
To never feel true happiness
To believe I have
No purpose in life.
To see I really don’t matter ..
I’m scared to prove
Myself right.
To really never start a life.
I’m scared to
Then lose my self again
To lonely nights with toxic touches

Scared prt 4

Be aware
I’m not scared like I used to be.
To lose  you, see you walk out.
Watch you leave & end us.
I have drugs.
To replace you,
Forget who you were
Erases our memories & best times.
Be aware
If you do me *****, I don’t care.
Drugs will always be there .
Il depend to forever not feel..
If you leave me, I won’t cry.
I have lines to get me past times.
So please know , I’m not scared.
To be left ,

Scared prt 5
2018

I’m Trapped.
I’m not ok , I’m not safe.
The habits creeping up.
Slowly but rapidly.
I believe I got it together.
I tell myself I got it under control.
But do I really?
Relapsing after 2yrs is making an impact.
I’ve been falling frequently.
For a short time but I’m still using .
It will take ahold of me unexpectedly.
Slowly convince me this Drug life’s worth risking .
I need help .
I look fine.
I haven’t used severely but my minds hyped.
Il Get To that level.
If I don’t reach out in time.
My thoughts are converting slow
I can feel the careless emotions growing.
That’s why I’ve found it so easy to use and get away with it.
“Just today” “it’s only alittle” “I can handle this”
That’s until I build up my tolerance.
Lord Help me .. you know il cause heartbreaks if I turn back to what I Once was..

Scared

I’m so scared.
To get played again .
To get lied and betrayed.
I’m scared of my reaction.
I know il die alive.
I won’t even have the strength to ****** you.
I’d be so broken and just let the world walk all over me.
If you Do me *****
I’d lose it completely.
You’d prove all my doubts correct.
Assumptions I already knew were true in my head.
If you play me, Id lose my head.
Literally, go insane due to confusion & hate.
If you hurt me.
Drugs is what I’m going to be out searching.
Not even ask for an explanation.
I’d be too focused walking straight ahead to my connects house.
If you do me shady.
I Will Be angry at the world.
Scream to the top of my lungs
“WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS
I would drown myself in drugs.
I’d hate the world completely for hurting me when I’ve done none wrong.
I’d go So crazy.
How can I So Loyal Be Played With.
Etcetc can’t even write more

Scared prt 6

2018
Im not scared
Anymore .
I don’t know what to feel
Anymore.
I think I’m worried,
I just don’t feel it
Anymore.
My thoughts try to
Tell me something’s wrong.
I Can’t think of anything..
I’m unsure If I’m ok.
I don’t know if I’m
Even thinking straight.
I remember once feeling
So afraid.
I had to seek help on my own .
For the sake of my sanity.
My heart felt a heavy
Storm coming.
It rushed me to look out
Find shelter .
With strong material .
I started moving .
But did I act fast enough ?
Did I act before or after
Time had already passed..

Scared prt 7.
I’m scared
To Relapse & Stay Stuck
To give up recovery
I’m scared to
Look at you and walk away forever.
To just not care wether you believed I truly loved you.
I’m scared
For my love to be trapped
For all My strength to be gone
Lose it all ,
I’m crying.
Addiction will forever live in me
Wether Active or Overcomed
This drug will Always come
Aslong as I’m Happy , Positive
I won’t want to take a hit
But Even if nothing’s going on
My body & mind will randomly itch.
Ive been walking with this for too long to just erase it .
To forget I had a habit .


Scared prt 8
Jan 2018
Im not scared
Anymore .
I don’t know what to feel
Anymore.
I think I’m worried,
I just don’t feel it
Anymore.
My thoughts try to
Tell me something’s wrong.
I Can’t think of anything..
I’m unsure If I’m ok.
I don’t know if I’m
Even thinking straight.
I remember once feeling
So afraid.
I had to seek help on my own .
For the sake of my sanity.
My heart felt a heavy
Storm coming.
It rushed me to look out
Find shelter .
With strong material .
I started moving .
But did I act fast enough ?
Did I act before or after
Time had already passed..

Scared Part 9
Am I Fine.
Will I not rack a line.
Never touch a Rock in my life.

Am I Good.
Will I not Use again .
Will temptations not be seen as threats ?
Can I handle.
My urges to not Tweak again.
Will my triggers Be nothing to worry about?

Will I never feel tempted.
Have I finally over come every Obstacle of addiction?

I’m sorry.
I’ve worsen , I’m stuck once again.
This time it will be harder .
I’m a recovering addict
Stuck in a constant relapse Cycle.
What must I do
Should I sit & wait
On my next down fall ..

SCARED PRT 10

March 2018
I Didn’t notice.
Like always
I believed I had it all under control.
Everything was ok.
Everything seemed fine.
I felt normal,
I would stop soon.

I was Wrong ..
I Fell Down So quick.
I went hard.
No dubs or teeners.
I went straight to a Ball.
I just went all out.


I lost myself again.
I Lost control of the substance.
I Was trapped.
It became a problem.
One I wasn’t aware of.
I Had no recognition of at all.
I Didn’t see that I couldn’t stop.
I kept going
Kept using without seeing the frequency.
The days spent stuck.
I lost touch with reality.
This previous Relapse
Has been the worst in my life .
I haven’t had a binge like this time since 2015.
I used every day .
For 6 1/2 Weeks.
I lost track of the days & time.
I Sniffed & Smoked 2 8 ***** all to my self.

At the time I didn’t see how crazy that was.
Those weeks, an 8 didn’t surprise me.
The amount didn’t shock or Worry me.

I was fine , I had control.
I was doing ok , everything seemed & felt normal.
It was just a small relapse.


I was wrong
I lost touch with reality.
I formed a habit .
I was addicted again .

The sad part is
I’m able to acknowledge this Only through writing.
In real life , my denial mind
I’m able to handle my addiction. I’m ok & Dont have a problem.


It angers me.
Since my 1st Relapse
In August.
I’ve Fallen Very often.
It saddens me.
How I quickly Skipped
The Weight.
Why does it worry me?
My mind will no longer seek a Dub when I’m triggered to use.
It will want Another ball.

Anything less
My Addictive mind
no longer craves.
It now settles for Big.
This relapse has changed the game for my addict ways.
I’ve Relapsed every month
Since August.
I Had it all under control.
I Was able to use and stop.
Just this last time
I completely lost it.

Scared prt 11

I’m scared .
To lose my strength.
Have no durability.
To Give in So quick.
Be that weak
Where I don’t fear Tweak.
Find it easy
To just go seek.

I’m Worried
To reach that level .
Just Relapse constantly .
not care who Knows.
My problems
Have me overwhelmed.
Every day
The Stress grows .
I can’t bare another
Tug & Pull.
October Aug 2018
Heartbreak is an inevitable thing.
I knew this. I knew that throughout the course of my early life, I would experience many heartbreaks.
You know, the ones where it wasn’t meant to be. Life designed to have these strategically planned heartbreaks so that you could grow, you could learn.
A pain so real, it is as though the pain is literally reconfiguring your insides as it moves through you; staying just long enough to shape you, but not long enough to become you.
Our hearts like a key getting resized and fitted for the next lock.
Getting so far into the lock before realizing it’s not a match, our heart, getting shaped and sized per each of these attempts. Shaping up until it finds the right lock; the day when your key fits and you know it’s a match – the feeling people refer to as “when you know, you know”.

Is it possible, however, to find your match- the lock that you are finally meant to open, but while turning the key something goes wrong?
What once was a perfect fit, now sits ajar. The answer: I don’t know.
I loved a man.
A perfect fit.
Our love was trusting, it was giving, it was deep, and strong, and passionate.
I loved this man with all of my being;
and he loved me back.

This man is dead.
That’s what breaking up with someone feels like, anyways.
It is as if they are dead.
You will no longer talk with them, share with them, kiss them, hug them, touch them, love them.
They will no longer hold you at night while you sleep.
They will no longer embrace you in the morning, kiss you when you wake.
It is as though they do not exist.
Not to you anyway; or you to them.
Djs Jul 2013
They say love comes unexpectedly
But they never told me how it leaves
Suddenly, painfully, helplessly

And this is just another poem about you
But unlike the other ones from before
It's the last of it all, with no more

See I already felt it coming
Long before it all fell apart
Before it shattered my living heart

Usually in books, they talk about heartbreaks
Emotional stress, vulnerability, and crying
But they never mentioned physical heart aches

The throbbing, and the sobbing
And what feels like a bullet clashing
Every millisecond, pounding, literally breaking

And it's something chocolates can't fix
And obviously, neither will the chick-flicks
Something not even sleep could do the trick

I've realized we grew apart
Became distant, not just because of the miles
Already separating us apart

And I know I've pushed you away
Leaving you in dismay
Unsure of tomorrow, scared of yesterday

But I didn't know you knew
Knowledged of the game I've put you through
Unaware that you could hurt me too

Now all's been said and done
I've lost the better part of me, my number one
My lover, my bestfriend, all gone

Unlike other scenarios, I choose to act differently
I aim to take it well, and not selflessly
I won't let my vulnerability get to me

And now I know better
Right now pathetically missing you
Wouldn't do

And someday, hopefully
We'll meet again, in a parallel universe
Within each other's existence, unknowingly

Maybe then, in another life, I could love you

But for now thank you for the pain and tragedy
I needed it for my poetry.

*-djs
"I miss you" letters, #6. I think this will be the last of it. Am truly sorry for writing a little too much "I miss you" poems. I'll get back to writing about other topics soon as inspiration kicks in!

I'd just like to thank an old friend (who still hopefully reads this haha), who'd helped me figure out my self little by little, and made me realize "Our hearts are muscles too, and the more they get hurt the stronger they become". Thank you.

And of course, to a special friend whom I owe all my poems to.. My half, my backbone, my personal support committee. My inspiration. Thank you for the pain. It did my poetry well. And I hope one day we'll meet in an alternate universe, not knowing each other, and maybe in that world I can be with you. But until then, please find someone who'll be as grateful as I was to have you.
Àŧùl Aug 2013
Hypnotized by you,
I am drowning,
Day by day.

In the emotion,
Of your love,
Gleefully.

I'm drowning wilfully,
Really not to be save,
Listen when I say.

Effortlessly I let my body sink,
Not struggling at all to escape,
I only fear distance from you.

Not the physical distance,
But the distance of hearts,
A distance of heartbreaks.

You say similar things,
Claiming I stole your heart,
An eternal truth this we share.

Dreaming on & on,
We even struggle often,
Our struggle goes on & on.

Looking into these calm dark eyes,
On your face full of beauty & truth,
I gain an escape from worldly lies.

You claim I jinxed you the first time,
So true- weren't we bound to meet,
It's just Time choreographed this.

I can't easily refute the blame,
After all I am an equal partner,
In this lyrical life & this game.

So I bear morally equal liability,
As we observe our love garner,
After all I am older than you.

We can't give into these tough times,
Not now, today, tomorrow nor ever,
For our relationship is a challenge.

A challenge for changing our world it is,
A bright change for a brighter future,
A betterment of your & my lives.

I know you're with me in life,
I know you're surely lighter,
I know you're much young.

Younger than my experience,
Younger than my sad lifespan,
Younger than my reborn avatar.

Happier than my own best happy,
Happier than my ever-so-pale face,
Happier than my knowledge can be.
A post-poem note:

Along the way I sprint hypnotized,
Along the Angel imparting me strength,
Along you my Angel - not alone as I had been.

^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^
♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

My first 17-paragraph poem. I guess I'll call it a Decaseptolet poem.

I invented my first distinct style.

My HP Poem #406
©Atul Kaushal
Adria Feb 2018
Dear Someone,

As of this moment, I’m writing you a letter without the slightest idea of who you are. Have we met already? Do we bump each other’s way unknowingly? Or are you someone I already know and just waiting for our story to unfold absentmindedly? Tomorrow, a week, a couple of months, or even years I know I will meet you in an unpredictable way and you will finally stay.

Hope still blossoms within my heart even if it got broken a multiple times. I hope you’re having the time of your life so when we meet in the future, I’ll gladly listen to your unending stories about your adventures. I only want you to keep one promise; please be patient while waiting for me. I know fate gives us tough ordeals but keep in mind that we can both do it even if we’re not in each other’s side yet. For now, I want to apologize for not being there with you through your battles. I’m sorry I missed a lot of important days with you. Don’t get me wrong with this, I hope you experience heartbreaks before I step into your life. I believe that it will make you wiser and stronger so when the day comes that I have you in my arms, I will make you the happiest and show you genuine care for the reason that you deserve to feel what real love is supposed to be. It is a tough journey yet this is worth waiting for. You are worth waiting for.

When that day comes, I will love you wholeheartedly, always. I will push you to become a best version of yourself. I will be there for you through your success and downfalls. As what 1 Corinthians 13:7 said; Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I will not give up on your perfectly good soul. I will always believe in your capability. I promise to give you hope and light through the dark times, and we will endure every reckless path in the journey and make it worth the fight.

One day, your voice will be my favorite song. Your eyes will be my favorite painting. Your words will be my favorite poetry. Your presence will be my sweet tranquility. You are the home I keep coming back to. You are my comfort zone and at the same time, the adventure I am willing to take the risk. You are the daydream that I cannot escape. You are the sunshine that brings happiness in my frowning days. You are the laughter and smiles that I will remember in the back of my mind. You will be my greatest serendipity that destiny has given me. You are the evidence in this universe that God, in his timing, truly blesses a perfect prince to His brave princess.

Go on with your life and commit to your own happiness, I would do the same. Let us both keep going until the day we finally meet. I can’t wait to tell you how fortunate I am to be existing the same time as you. Fill yourself with self love and take care of your heart. When the right time comes, I’ll be the one who will nurture and take care of it.

So to the man I will fall in love in the future, everything will be worth the wait. Fate and gravity will eventually lead us to each other’s arms. I’ll see you very soon.

Tout L'amour,
Your sweetest Adrianne.
Dia Mar 2014
I'm falling now
And I'm afraid of what's happening
I fear getting hurt
So I keep my heart under lock and key
I won't let myself want you
Because I know where that may lead
Heartbreaks and nostalgia, ****
How much worse can this be?

I won't leave my heart out anymore
Just so it can get broken
But I'm fascinated with the words you speak
Do you see my dilemma?
Should I just accept the pure possibility?
JA Doetsch Jan 2012
He was definitely dead.  That much could be gathered.  He was standing over his own body, sixty feet away from the car.  fifty-nine feet away from  the telephone pole.  The pool of blood on the blacktop was rippling from the sheets of rain that were piercing it.  The rain bounced off of his lifeless eyes, staring on into the cloudy sky.   His shocked expression was forever frozen on his face.  He walked around the corpse, both fearful and excited.  He was dead....He was DEAD!  He was on the other side!  He looked around, searching for the 'white light',  but all he found  was a man dressed in a ratty  trench coat staring directly at him.  Rotting teeth smiled at him under a grungy  Fedora in a way that reminded him of a jack-o-lantern carved into the likeness of Indiana Jones that had been left out past Thanksgiving.  A withered hand beckoned him.

He was not hesitant.  He was not fearful.  

Those were emotions controlled by a brain that was currently about as useful as a bag full of gelatin.  He strode forward and took the man's hand.  It was neither hot nor cold.  They were no longer in the rain.  They were in a room with a large monitor
sitting in front of a station of various knobs, buttons, and switches.  A large leather chair apathetically awaited use .  He was aware that none of these objects  actually existed, because they were in the place where things don't exist.  Still, he sat down
and turned on the monitor.  He looked at the labels.  Some were obvious, such as P L A Y,  P A U S E, and S T O P.  Others were strange, like the ones labeled F I R S T S and L A S T S.  He pressed the former.  A list appeared with items as simple as "Kiss" to ones as specific as "Sprained Left Ankle in November".

He chose the former.

The screen went blank, then a video appeared.  It was a boy and a girl lying on a hill on a blanket at the onset of dusk.  The boy he instantly recognized as himself. The boy brushed his hand against hers.  She let him.  Fingers now entwined as they stared at each other.  At the time it had felt like hours, but it was less than a
minute before lips pushed apart to make way for tongues.  His first kiss.  It didn't take him long to figure out how the machine worked from that point on.  

He spent years going through every second of his life and reliving it from a new perspective. It didn't matter, he had all the time that never was and never would be.  He saw his mistakes and his triumphs, his loves and his heartbreaks.  Finally, he decided he was
finished.  It was time to go.  The man in the Fedora smiled.  Smiled that Cheshire smile

They were in a hallway.  It seemed to stretch for miles.  Every twenty paces or so, there was a person, standing on a platform, obscured in darkness.  He walked to the first one.
A light flickered on.  It was his mother.  She looked like she did when he was a boy, vibrant and full of life.  She never lost that, even as her body aged and her health declined, she always had something to smile about.  He talked to this apparition of his mother.   They talked for hours about his life, of random topics.  Things they had never had time to talk about when they were both alive.  After some time, she gave him one of her wry
smiles.  He nodded and made his way to the next person.  His father.  

He continued this for quite some time.  He talked to everyone from his brother to a guy he used to get high with in college.  Years passed as he said his final goodbyes to all the people in his life
that he had ever known.  All of them were happy for him.  All of them had something to tell him that he had never known about them in life.  None of them were real.  When he was done, he turned to the man in the fedora.  A smile.  A smile that had a personality all its own, a smile that simultaneously showed compassion and seething hatred.

The last room.  No one said it was the last room, but it had that feeling of finality to it. It was spartan, nothing in it except a marble floor that seemed to stretch for eternity in every direction.  It probably did.  In front of him were two pedestals.  On each of those
pedestals was himself.  The one on the left was wearing a fine tailored suit, had radiating skin and a smile that cameras feasted on.  The one on the right was a stark contrast.  The teeth he had left were hanging lazily from the roots.  His hair that he had left was thin, oily, and ridden with lice.  His mouth turned upwards in an insane grin that was only
matched by his thirsty, bloodshot eyes that seemed to bulge from his pockmarked skin

                                          They both spoke at once.

You were born on                                           You were born on
July 3, 1985.  Your                                           July 3, 1985.  Your
parents fed your                                         mother died when you
curiosity at a young                                     were 4.  Your father
age.  Your passion                                   turned to alcohol.  He
was art.  You painted                                 took his pain out on you.
your first work when                                     You dropped out of    
you were nine.  By the                                high school and moved
time you were 16, you                             as far away from this
were renowned as a                             life as you could.  You
artistic prodigy.  You                      quickly discovered a bad crowd.
attended the Art                                     You met a girl, Cindy.
Institute of Chicago                                       You got her pregnant.
on a full scholarship.                                   You started selling drugs
It was there that you                                     to make ends meet
would meet Claire,                                       for your accidental family
your future wife. By                                       It wasn't long before
the time you completed                                     You made a mistake
your school, every                                             and ended up in jail.
museum wanted a                                        years later, when you
piece of your work                                       were released
hanging in their gallery                               you found that Cindy      
Your work would be                                       had killed herself
remembered for                                                   and your son.
hundreds of years after                                       You had no job          
your death.  You had                                                 no skills
a wonderful family,                                        You spent your days
fame, fortune, and                                          doing odd jobs for
everything that came                                   money.  Money that
with it.  You lived                                           You spent on drugs
until 89, where you                                        Until the age of 45
died peacefully in                                       Where you froze on a
your bed, surrounded                           street corner, surrounded
by loved ones.  This                        by human excrement.  This
is your life's best                                           is your life's worst
possible outcome                                         possible outcome



He nodded, then looked at the man in the fedora.  That smile crept up.  A smile like a hyena. He snapped his fingers.  Two doors appeared.  One was Oaken and battered.  The grains of wood barely visible over years of neglect.  The other door was new and had just been  painted with a fresh coat of sky blue paint.  

The man spoke for the first time.

This is the last decision you shall ever make.  The door on your left will lead you to the  afterlife, and the judgement that awaits you.  Whatever is decided, that is where you will spend eternity.  The door on the right will allow you to be reborn as a new soul.  This one will no longer exist.

He gave it a good long ponder.  Had he been good enough in life to pass the judgement?  What if he ended up in a hellish nightmare for the rest of eternity?  Could he do better
if he started fresh?  The thoughts swirled about him like a whirlwind until finally.

Years later

He chose.

The man in the fedora smiled.
I'm aware this isn't a poem.  It started off as one, but then I kept writing.
time is an infinite stream of possibilities
may this blessing flow to you across time through love
I pray for you, the me of my past who struggled and
lost your way in depression.

May this blessing find you across time to you, from me the you of the future, to the 26 year old that I was in a moment in time,
where I was lost.

May you find your way out of despair and hopelessness, and
may you find the courage to set the radio outside of the filled
bathtub.  I know suicide seems the only way out, but you have
so much to live for. I am you of the future, as I speak to you of my past.  

May my love and hope travel across time to help you find joy in that little moment, where you turned on the radio to make sure power was flowing before you electrocuted yourself.  But in that tiny moment, reggae music blasted through the speakers bringing a spark of joy and rhythm into a dark moment, where you could not distinguish from the true and false.

May you find the wisdom to know that your pain will not last forever and all wounds heal with time, even heartbreaks.  I know, because I am in this very present moment the future self of you.  I know that your present feels bleak and each day feels more painful and pointless than the day before.  It feels like the whole world is against you and people who are supposed to love you only judge you and ridicule you.  Somehow it feels like who you are is not enough and you are sick and tired of feeling this way.

May my love and hope travel across time.  Love is infinite and collapses the space that separates us.  May my blessing find you
through this dark moment and many to come, so you may know
and experience joys, sadness, and full specturum of emotions
with an open heart.  You will someday embrace pain as one of your greatest teachers, because it has lead you to the other great teacher of life, love.  May you have the courage to really live, so you may face death, another great teacher.  May you live and die with love, and not with fear and hatred in your heart.

May this blessing travel across time in that infinite place in your heart, where hope will rise out of the heavy despair that is pulling you down to depths of pain that goes deeper and deeper.  Somehow, pain upon pain becomes comforting, and you begin to be trapped in yourself.  All you can see is this moment.

May my prayer and blessing find you and guide you to a future you cannot imagine in your present, but you would not want to miss.  Thank you, I love you.  I'm sorry for ways I failed you.  Please forgive me.  

May this blessing of hope and love find you across time and space to bring you home, so you and I can live in that infinite space of love in our hearts, where we are connected to life flowing through and in us.  May you find your way to me, to the now that is always being created.
A poem written out of gratitude for all the people who have helped me become a little more free from the dark depression and hopelessness I found myself in my mid 20s to early 30s.
Beauteous Beast Sep 2014
It's not about the ghosts or the demons
The heartbreaks and rejections
It's about the happiness and contentment
Not minding what you've imperfected
What you're scared of doesn't matter
As long as you know that you'll be better
Head up, stay strong
and never give it up all
cant find an appropriate title for this
melina padron Dec 2014
I burned up in your atmosphere
Just trying to
Get close enough to touch you
Just trying to get
Close enough to hear you say
“Yeah, I love you too”

You do?

I started a book about you
Drenched in ******* sweat
And drunken verses that you would
Never really get unless
You took the time to listen
And hear me

The sizzle and crackle
Of everything about me
Burning

Because of you.

I only know how to
Write about heartbreaks
Or heart beats
And could have beens
Because you taught me that,
You showed me that
It wasn’t poetry until
I destroyed everything about me
That once was
That could’ve been.

I’m good at free falling
And floating
Pretty good at burning
Up for only you.
Funny how I can’t let go
I keep showing here hoping you would notice me
I think you already know
I don’t mind being alone here in the party

Do you feel the connection
When we barely talk to and look at each other?
You do not know my passion
I’m the one expert in waiting for forever

It is more than love
It's a work by God

Why didn’t I notice it right away?
Made me wait for years and months and days
Why's it feel it is coming to an end?
For you, I would go through heartbreaks again
Heartbreaks again

You’re like fireworks in the sky
You are so captivating but fades in no time
Why'd you leave while I was high?
I was never ready for that sudden goodbye

He then came and rescued me
From the pain you inflicted on my heart and soul
From blue to yellow journey
Everything that I wanted from you, now I own

It is more than love
It's a work by God

Why's everything just making sense now
Made me wait for years and months and days
On the altar, he made me say my vow
For him, I would go through heartbreaks again
Yes, heartbreaks again

I used to wonder why you had to leave
Now it's clear
I used to think all boys do is deceive
Now I'm clean
You were removed in my life
To make way for delight

It is more than love
It's a work by God

Fate is playful but so wise
Made me wait for years and months and days
For him, I won't mind waiting in lines
Cause for him, I would go through heartbreaks again

If those heartbreaks mean I'd have him as prize
Then I would go through those heartbreaks again
MarvelMe Oct 2018
Dad
I looked up to you
I wish I were you

You and I were the same
Even though people told me you were insane

I didn't care what anyone said
Because when I needed you
You always came to my aid

But then you weren't there for me
When I needed you the most
It felt like no one cared for me
I was so lonely

I used to hate you
I'm glad I forgave you

All the thoughts of fantasy
I dreamed us as a family
Ended up being a sad tragedy

I won't make the same mistake
I'll be there for every birthday cake
From the time they wake
To the time we go to the zoo and see a king snake
In fact well even make Swiss steak
Or cupcakes
Or pound cake
We'll play with snow flakes
We'll go see great lakes
I'll be there for heartbreaks

I'll give them the love I never had
I've forgiven you already and I'm not mad
But at the end of the day I'm still glad
You were my Dad
10/9/2018
Dad's are important
Butterflygirl18 Jun 2020
Everytime she loves , her heartbreaks ,her soul bleeds,the more scars she has ,the more her heart turns black and the flowers in the forest in her garden die, her wings turn black so dark , she begins to not believe in love , she begins to fade away so does her love,her wings turn black and so does her eyes, she flys to her castle and hides away from the sun and never comes out until the sun is gone , no bright colors and her dark black eyes ,her soul bleeding out every time she cries ,this is what happens when she begins to break,everything begans to fade away until All her pain Is gone and everything comes back to life , the flowers start to bloom and her eyes aren't dark but blue like the sky and she begans to stop crying and her heart drys up ,the scars heel but forever there ,her heart turns red and the garden comes back to life, but her belief in love isn't so easy to spark up, her wings aren't dark and either are her eyes , shes at peace and happy again until the end of time .
Babatunde Raimi May 2020
When you hear the lines
We can be friends
But not as you want it
I don't deserve you
These are legends
Masters of breakups
Know it's time to walk away

Can't you see there is lockdown?
I'm observing social distancing
Someone who once stole your heart
You even promised heaven on earth
My Dear, the calabash is crashed
Give yourself some dignity

I need a break my dear
I want to re-discover myself
My Mum said we can't marry
Sincerely, I truly love you
But if you see another, say "Yes"
My dear, please, walk away
Let's avoid imminent divorce
Especially when the signs are clear

They have a masters in heartbreaks
I got a revelation last night
My Pastor, my Prophet said
No calls, no messages, just blanks
If you've witnessed this
Please, come, let's cry together
Just believe that "Cue sera sera"
Maybe you even just delivered...

Breakups are never easy
It has sent many to depression
And some, early graves
Love cannot be forced my dear
If you are not valued and appreciated
And ghostmode is activated
Take the honourable part
Just walk away...

Where there is pain
I wish you immeasurable love
True love is never hurtful
Your setback will be a setup
For your glorious come back
And it will end in praise
Just like a Cinderella story
You aren't alone, I've been there too...
Alan S Bailey Feb 2015
I still remember your eyes
I still remember you always holding me
Keeping me safe from harm with all your charm
I remember feeling you looking at me, and I
Know you're still there, you're so wonderful!
I couldn't help but fall in love with you
And get crushes everywhere else, too.
It's just so unfair to have found such
Lovely romances, and suffer heartbreaks!
I can't help where my heart
Goes, but that's why I'm torn apart...
Please remember I'm always here and so is
My love too, it's not easy to be what society
Wants of you, especially love! Love is wild and
It's so undesired to be told I'm a cheater
When I have an excuse, I'm only human too!
Just remember I wasn't born with a defective
Heart, and it isn't easy to be torn apart.
mc Aug 2013
kiss him while you still have the chance

kiss him
because his love will fade
with the summer heat

kiss him again
because his forevers
will turn into nevers

kiss him once more
because summer loves
only lead to winter heartbreaks

kiss him goodbye and never look back
mk Dec 2015
her churiyan clashed
submerging in the red, orange and green
of her sharara
as she spun round and round
a blur of striking colors
her laughing face hidden
among those of her cousins
as they danced in a circle
each girl wearing colors of the rainbow
smiles like the sun brightening their faces
their bare feet decorated with mehndi
as they spun on their toes
letting their hair follow them like velvet curtains
the pitter patter of their restless feet
becoming one with the music around them
the elders of the family
throwing rose petals and clapping
watching the new generation
bless the married couple
with laughter, colors & life
the girl with curls in her hair
pulling down the bride-to-be
off the stage and onto the dance floor
her fiancé nudging her and watching his future
twirl with the young girls
as families became from two to one
he looked upon his love with eyes full of wonder
as she pushed back her dark hair and hid her face
refusing to dance
but even the blushing bride couldn't stop the girls
from convincing her to join them
they took her by the hands
and let the music guide them as they threw their arms in the air
swaying to songs about boundless ishq
and the stars which shine upon those who fall in the arms of endless love
the bride's red gharara shimmering under the lights
complimenting the red in her cheeks
the sparkle in her teeka bright
but never brighter than the twinkle in her euphoric eyes
her mother teared watching her baby all grown up
and her father looked at her as his success
seeing his only daughter so full of joy
others onlooked
as the girls embraced their youth
and with the bride created a circle of joy
for that moment,
the love was shared between them all
they forgot all about their heartbreaks
and the everlasting love which never lasted
they forgot all about the boys with pretty eyes and even prettier lies
as they rejoiced over the love of their loved ones
with a little inch of hope in their own hearts
that someday someone would look at them
as the smiling groom did the stunning bride
passion. surety. serenity.
*pyaar
wedding celebrations in the family always leave you wishing it were you who was going down the path of eternal happiness & love.

churiyan: bangles
sharara/gharara: eastern wedding attire
teeka: jewelry item (head-piece)
mehndi: henna
ishq: highest degree of love
pyaar: love
aebrellim Feb 2016
I find it scary how there is no escape,
There is no escape from ignorance,
There is no escape from arrogance,
There is no escape from being judged,
There is no escape from racism,
There is no escape from sexism,
There is no escape from homophobia,
There is no escape from cruelty,
There is no escape from heartbreaks,
There is no escape from disappointment,
There is no escape from failure,
There is no escape from fear,
There is no escape from hatred,
There is no escape from war,
There is no escape from reality,
              NO ESCAPE FROM LIFE.
Steven Fried Aug 2013
I was pure white
complimenting your darkness

We were lit
and destroyed by our spark

A flash of joy
too hot, too bright

My substance melted
...you forgot

Our time was lost
through disasters and heartbreaks

I shared myself with you,
Why hadn't you done the same?
Faryal Feb 2019
Date nights & great sights
always trying to feel less alone

Only here for soft cuddles & lil kisses on the forehead
But only going through heartbreaks and counseling

Getting hit on, but they’re missing the date nights
Another date night but with a new heartbreak

Another date, but with the daily counselor,
Just to rant about how dumb the guy was

Counseling, heartbreaks, counseling, heartbreaks &
repeat
Ignatius Hosiana Jun 2015
The total number of days between Thursday, June 17th, 1993 and Wednesday, June 17th, 2015 is 8,035 days .
This is equal to 22 years,excluding the end date, so it's accurate if I am measuring my age in terms of days, or the total days between my birth date and my birthday. But if for the duration between my birth date and my birthday, today,then it is actually 8,036 days.
In terms of workdays and weekends, there are 5,739 weekdays and 2,296 weekend days.
If I include today Jun 17, 2015 which is a Wednesday, then there would be
5,740 weekdays and 2,296 weekend days including both the starting Thursday and the ending Wednesday.
8,035 days is equal to 1,147 weeks and 6 days .
The total time span from 1993-06-17 to 2015-06-17 is 192,840 hours.
This is equivalent to 11,570,400 minutes
Further more 8,035 days are also equal to 694,224,000 seconds.
The nano seconds, the micro seconds, the minutes, the hours and the days have flowed by like water along a river, years have dissolved in thin air, going just before I seize the moments,such moments have escaped my grasp with the sands of time but there are things that in changing remain constant, the memories, the love, the sadness, the heartbreaks, the football team, the journey through and through and most importantly you my family and friends. I have this special day every year which I always use to thank all of you for bearing with me ,while I grew from that little boy whose loose shoe brought down the wall clock in primary seven while he was kicking chalk and consequently cried his way home contemplating the explanation for what had happened,to the young man dreaming of becoming a re-known Author and poet. From the lad who had to cram words to throw vibes, to one who hopes his words shall be used someday to tear down fortresses and conquer hearts.
Thank you all, I'm so lucky to have you and will always try to keep you all around as long as try can. Love you :) xxxxxxxxxx
Every year since 2011 after realizing I'll never celebrate my birthdays...I found my own way of letting the day not go just like that. So It's my all friends and family day, I always tell a story of something unique and then the number of days. I know I'm just a few months old here but you all are a family to me.Happy my friends and family day ... Cheers

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