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jeremy wyatt Jan 2011
Haggis the cat is quiet and gentle
hang on! No he is ****** mental
if you speak or touch he strikes,
and that's just people Haggis likes.
Fights with Vincent all day long
even when he's done no wrong.
Lets me stroke him when he's mellow
made a streak in me thats yellow
the other day he pinched my dinner
boxed my face like I'm a sinner.
Fought over my piece of lamb
one each end then Haggis WHAM!
Let me kiss him the other day
but I know soon he'll make me pay.
Yes, now I've crossed the Scottish border
I've found my place in the pecking order..
BOTTOM......
MUM
                                    DAD------HAGGIS
                                           VINCENT
                                                   ME
Rosie Dee Jan 2015
Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin'-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye worthy o' a grace
As lang's my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin *** help to mend a mill
In time o need,
While thro your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An cut you up wi ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like onie ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin, rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an strive:
Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
The auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
'Bethankit' hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout,
Or olio that *** staw a sow,
Or fricassee *** mak her spew
Wi perfect scunner,
Looks down wi sneering, scornfu view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckless as a wither'd rash,
His spindle shank a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit;
Thro ****** flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread,
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll make it whissle;
An legs an arms, an heads will sned,
Like taps o thrissle.

Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies:
But, if ye wish her gratefu prayer,
Gie her a Haggis
(As stated in the title) This is not one of my poems-all credit to Robert Burns. Being half scottish, we celebrate 'Burns' Night' in my house. A night to celebrate this wonderful scottish writer. I thought i'd put this as a tribute the great writer and let you all have a wee bit o' Scottish culture haha
soul in torment Sep 2013
in Scotland fair you must beware
the weathered moor at night
For it is said a thing of dread
hunts neath it's pale moon light

It's small and stout and loves to shout
and scare the tiny mice
It kicks the trees to wake the bees
because it is not nice

it runs amok through herd and flock
and makes the chickens fly
Then opens gates and shakes lose slates
and takes pigs from the sty

It up roots crops and spills the hops
and dances in the flour
Though rarely seen its really mean
and turns the fresh milk sour

It squashes flat each butter pat
and mixers wheat with grain
then ups and screams to spoil your dreams
and runs away again

The Haggis see is wild and free
and likes to cause such fun
Breaks traps and snares and frees the hares
and helps them to their run

The hunting hound that sniffs the ground
Will never find his scent
because he sweats sweet Vi-o-lets
to cover where he went

The Heathered moor and rains that pour
wash away his tracks
and he's not scared he is prepared
for haggis run in packs

With teeth and claws and snapping jaws
they are a sight to see
So think before you seek that moor
where they run wild and free
jeremy wyatt Feb 2011
It happened tonight
I dare not clap
Haggis the cat
slept on my lap
watching a film
on the settee
Denise was sitting
next to me
he strolled along
looked at my pants
though "oh well,
I'll take a chance."
A stroke and a pat
I doff you my cap
Haggis the cat
slept on my lap
jeremy wyatt Jan 2011
A cat came into my dreams last night
a great big ginger beauty
but instead of curling up
he lashed his tail all snooty
"I saw you thursday night"
he said, with a tear-stained muzzle
he wasn't pleased at all with me
but why? Wow what an awkward puzzle
"Haggis in your arms, that's what!
How dare you do this to me?
there's only space for one of us
upon your boney knee.
That lad is such a fighter
he chases me all day
he bites my **** till it is plucked
I try to run away!
Ok I sometimes taunt him
push my **** into his face
but understand you silly man
your lap is Vincents place!
Room for us both? That is not true!
Remember my huge belly.
Balancing me upon those legs
Is like juggling a jelly!
I know I snuggle up with him
when it's cold and mum's not there
but already Haggis is snuggling dad
I almost have to swear.
So keep away my skinny pal
from my naughty feline rival
'cos the battle to keep your lap for me
is like the struggle for survival!"
Hmmm..he has a point I guess
he was a wee bit worried
that Haggis causes him so much stress
I think he'd have him curried!
I  see them snuggle on the bed
and butter wouldn't melt
I know if Haggis comes to me
Vin will give me a belt!
James Floss Mar 2019
1.  Shoot *****
2. Ski
3. Free-dive
4. Sky-dive
5. Vote Republican
6. Eat raw fish
7. Play naked volleyball
8. Eat haggis
9. Walk on coals
10. Yodel
11. Visit Somalia
12. Jell-O shots
13. Learn Klingon
14. Fish
15. Sell *****-wigs
16. Drink Genesee Creme Ale
17. Run a 5K
18. Pay mortgage
19. Divorce
20. Shoot ******
21. Go to Tupperware party
22. Drink Gatorade
23. Visit Poughkeepsie
24. Tend bar
25. Serve on a ******* trial
26. Eat glass
27. ****
28. Trump rally
29. KKK rally
30. Watch Sally Fields in The Flying Nun
31. Attend a MegaChurch
32. Listen to Death Metal
33. Watch American Dad
34. Moonwalk
35. Eat brussel sprouts
36. Watch Fox News
37. Turn 20
38. Turn 30
39. Turn 40
40. Turn 50
41. Turn 60
42. Turn over in my grave
43. Eat a tern
44. Teach Fall term
45. Terminate a solemn vow
46. Take a vow of silence
47. Disavow core beliefs
48. Operate a snow plow
49. Forget that I do know how
50. Insinuate
51. Dissemble
52. Lie, cheat and/or steal
53. S'Mores
54. Wet my bed
55. **** my thumb
56. **** a duck
57. Watch Little House on the Prairie
58. Rent a yacht
59. Not rescue animals
60. Not neuter pets
61. Not give to Food for People
62. Not appreciate Public Radio
63. Not appreciate Public Television
64. Knot like a Boy Scout
65. Play Parcheesi
66. Pay credit interest
67. Feign interest
68. Pinterest
69. Instagram
70. Eat spam
71. Exam cram
72. Karaoke
73. Jet-ski
74. Snowmobile
75. Pretend what the ******* are going on and on about matters (whoops; that’s number 67)
76. Blame my parents
77. Not take responsibility for my choices
78. Invest in oil futures
79. Renege on promises
80. Waste my time listening to telemarketers
81. Waste my time listening to zealots
82. Waste my time listening to racists
83. Waste your time
84. Waste my time, I hope
85. Not seek truth
86. Not seek answers
87. Not be authentic
88. Not be xenophobic
89. Accept lies
90. March lockstep
91. Buy the latest and greatest
92. Be consumer extraordinaire
93. Not be present
94. Not be conscientious
95. Not be good to my fellow human beings
96. Consume too much
97. Waste too much
98. Boast too much
99. Post too much
100. Not think about consequences
101. Not be me
DieingEmbers Sep 2012
They chase them down
through field and town
intending then to eat em'
with plastic forks
and champagne corks
they wallop and they beat em'

They chase by day
and most the night
though I can't understand em'
through thistle grass
and snowy pass
with knives they roughly brand em'

With Caber tossed
and y-fronts lost
these skirted men assault em'
big burly men
with beards yer ken
you really cannot fault em'

With claymore sharp
and Scottish harp
they catch and set to roast em'
with whiskey ryes
And blood shot eyes
these hunters fair do toast em'
Yer ken do you understand

Haggis a Sheeps stomach stuffed with offal a Scottish food
Johnny Noiπ Nov 2018
Miss Arab World – Arabic's Official
National Beauty Pageant (Arabic: إنتخاب ملكة جمال العرب‎)
is a beauty contest in the Arab World.
The contest seeks to select the Arab
girl that best represents her country
based on traditional Arab customs
and traditions. Saudi Arabia and the definitions
of the adjective or the Arab people.
So that when the first to the border of the lands
of the Arabs from the Arabian Peninsula
in the externals of Seminational
was able to pacientur or the squalid places,
with stiffs in many places
in the Middle East, and Africa,
inhabiting the north. Heretofore, the plan
is to have no leader but also in the North African
French Arabs of the Arabian horses.
It can also be a reality together,
and the Arabs to respond to them.
Examples in other words;
seven eighths parts of the old Palestine Arab states,
especially Syria and Jordan but it's almost 300 years,
whereupon they shook hands, the Arabs,
which with the deputies of diverse nations,
they began to burn with fire,
after which there has been a fire,
the deceitful man shall not
find grain, but the substance of these precious
beans are better. Here's a part of the public
health magazine founded in the year
of the Arabs and Jews in Jerusalem
and the run on the doctors. It is one
of a few problems in the hands
of the Arabians to the speaker.
Also, Arab sailors returned back with
shiploads of handicrafts from India.
Putting off from here and seeing
the beautiful big blob of silver, and the Arabic ******.
The Arabians to the army of the tribe
of the Turks in the former siege of the enemy,
this can be increased to a robber,
the Express to Bangladesh to restrict the cities of the past
and of the Arabians, absolutely.
The main markets are Germany,
Austria, Italy, France, the US and Arab countries.
But even those who were on the left wing
to the left on the continent, it is not out of Africa -
which is neither a nor the banter of the south
and of the vale, Arabic, toward the north side.
Ambassador returned from Alexandria
to explore the fourth Arab tarboosh
in a red dress. This is the truth, as seen from friends
and of what was to be reduced in the interests
of brevity and of the Arabians,
that they should not say in every case.
In Iraq mountains the Arabs are not legendary,
literature and culture in Frankfurt, by the way.
Egypt trip is the same authority tries to
"understand what is Arabesque.
One day some high Arab unity
and Arabs negatively affect them.
The carved out Germans, Slavs,
Roman Arabia, but also others.
When orientalists changed the way people
see Islam, Arab and the Middle East.
But he has venerable States
and other Middle East and vice versa;
nearly 300,000 North Africans in the heat
for example through the cake ranks
of the Free French. he also cannot attune
to Arab force then to receive them.
for example, the Palestinians like other Arabs,
not Hebrew even though most of the Muslims
and many people are Christians. Assyrians
in the region long before the British,
the Ottomans, Arabs and Kurds. 1 am inside
a share of the ignorant opinions are convincing
Western European nations that Arab
in the Middle East is equally exporting
sand to the Arabs - or whether to sell
the Scots haggis. 711 dramatically invasion
of Europe is in the pen separated from the rest
of the island, on some of them and the Arabs
and the Berbers of North Africa and to their gates.
Henceforth not only to the emperor,
that he was visited by the immortal gods
among you and it is also related to the complexity
of the genera use of which is in the Ministry
of Civil North Africa, the Arabic and the toughness
of the hide and rests upon the painted ages of Arabia,
and of the Arabians by far the most thoroughbred
are done. Miss Arab World - Arabic to Arab
miss the Miss beauty contest in the Arab world.
In a contest that asks the person to choose
the best girl in the Arab region on the basis
of traditional Arab customs and traditions.
Arab World - Arab state and the public posture;
national contest struggle, the mass of the Arab world,
Arab elite competition is beautiful.
There is a competition to choose the best girl
in the Arab region, according to Arab tradition.
Eastern birds, but refused to defend his plans.
Thousands of horses in Mexico and Mexican cities,
and a group to join in asking the Indian vice
chairman for photos of the gardener,
and into a taxi and finally the candy to Sinai,
the pillar of the water, or that the musical,
the Forum and the Miedusa for the most part
young people, a child, to Aristotle Benjamin
of the garden. Four smoke. In short,
the report shows that there were hundreds
to exercise care to protect yourself
from harmful computers. ::: Saudi Arabia,
Canada, at the end of the golden age.
There is a real story to tell and South Zarkarov,
Latvia, Barbados in Bulimia. In Kenya,
the world's gold and blue world,
the ship began 10 years ago.
Newspapers and magazines.
American Vertebrata is "bad".
Igor sleight away. And because of his flesh. . .
Cats, oceans and seas, from Ireland
to the databases drinking games
in the US and Saudi ...
Saudi Arabia and the Arab adjective
or from definitions. Is the term of such circumstances
as with the first result in the earth
and they were in external things,
and the Arabs out of Arabia,
was able to Seminational pacientur,
on the squalid places and in the neck
of the large number of places in the Middle East,
and Africa in which is the seat of the north.
Hereforth is not their leader, but also in the North
African French Arabs of the Arabian horse.
It can also be about one thing,
the Arabs have to respond to them.
Examples in other words, seven eighths
parts of the old Arab states in Palestine,
especially Syria and Jordan but it's almost 300 years,
whereupon they joined hands, the Arabs,
which the deputies of divers nations,
they began to pass through the fire and burn,
And after him, there was not a fire;
a deceitful man and deceitful men shall not find gain:
but the substance of the precious beans are better.
This is part of the public health magazine founded
in Arab and Jews in Jerusalem run by doctors.
There is a developer with a few Arab speaker.
Also, Arab sailors returned back shiploads
of handicrafts from India. Having divested
themselves of silver and for the Arabs
on the one side it's great to see the beautiful blob.
For the tribe of the Arabs, the Turks,
the former siege of the enemy,
the army of the Bangladeshi.
The cities of the restraint of the past,
the expressions of the Arabian
who is a robber, q can be increased.
The main markets are Germany, Austria,
Italy, France, the US and Arab countries.
But the man who is to the left
of the horn of the continent of Africa -
which is neither a, north to the south
and the lowlands of various and theirs to the north.
Alexandria, the ambassador returned
to explore the fourth Arab tarboosh in red dress.
This is not to say the truth, all of his friends,
and of the Arabians to the use to be reduced
in the interests of brevity.
Iraq mounts high, the Arab is legendary,
and culture in Frankfurt literature, by the way.
Egypt, on the authority tries to
"understand what is Arabesque.
One day, up Arab unity and Arab negatively
affect them. Cælator Germans Slavs in
Roman Arabia, and others. Since Orientalist
and others changed the ways of the people
of Islam in the Arab Middle East.
But he was the venerable Cælator
of the States of the Middle East,
and vice versa nearly 300,000 in the North
African heat, for example through
a cake orders; Free French, he also cannot
attune to the Arabs wanting to receive him.
for example, the Palestinians, like other
Arabs are not Hebrew, although most
are Muslim and many people are Christian.
Assyrians in the region long before the British,
the Ottomans, Arabs and Kurds.
1 am in the middle to share with awareness
that there are proofs Western European nations
and the Arab in the middle east are equally
exporting sand to the Arabs - or whether to sell to the Scott haggis
711 dramatic invasion of Europe in a pen separated from the rest
of the island as some of them, both Arabs and Berbers of the North
of Africa to the gates. His forth not only
to the emperor who had come from the immortal gods
is in thee and that, too, to the complexity
of the general use of which is in the Ministry
of the Civil War in North Africa,
in the Arabic and toughness of the 'skin,
do they dwell on to depict the ages of Arabia
and of the Arabians, Thoroughbreds
far off are made Miss Arab World - Arabic
lack the Arab miss beauty contest
in the Arab world. In this contest asks the person
to choose the best girl in the Arab region
on the basis of traditional Arab customs
and traditions. Arab World - Arab state
and national public contest's physical struggle
and the mass of the Arab world, Arab elite's
fair competition. There is a competition
to choose the best girl in the Arab region,
according to Arab tradition. Eastern birds,
but refused to defend his plans. Thousands
of horses in Mexico and Mexican cities,
and to form associations Indian vice president
for photos gardeners and into a taxi,
and finally the candy in China and the pillar
of water or the musical Forum
and Medusa's mostly young people,
young and Aristotle Benjamin in the garden.
Four smoke. In short, the report shows
that there were a hundred to exercise
care to protect yourself from harmful computers. :::
Saudi Arabia, Canada, at the end of the age
of gold. There is a real story to tell
about South Zarka, Latvia, Barbados and Bulino.
In Kenya, the world's gold and blue world,
the ship began 10 years ago. Newspapers and magazines.
American Vertebrate is "bad".
Igor craft away. And because of the flesh. . .
Cats and oceans, seas from Ireland
and drinking games databases of the US Saudianique.
Saudi Arabia and the Arab adjective
or definitions. Let the term with such luck,
as one of the first of what would be done,
on earth and in the worship of the external
they were against the Arabians, who came
from Arabia was able to Seminational pacientur,
the filth and dirt and on the neck in the number
of places in the Middle East and Africa,
in which the seat of the to the north.
Henceforth it over them, the head of the Gallic
and the Arabs from the Arabian horse
but also in the North African. One can also
distinguish the Arabs response to them.
Examples, in other words, seven eighths parts
of the old Palestine Arab states,
especially Syria and Jordan. This is part
of public health magazine founded by Arabs
and Jews in Jerusalem on the current medicine.
When the developer is one of a few Arab speakers.
Also, Arab sailors returned with shiploads
of handicrafts from India. Depositing black blobs
of Arabia to see the fair. Being retained
by the former siege of the enemy,
the army of the tribe of the Arabs
and the Turks once the Express and of the Arabian
who is a robber that the cities of Bangladesh should be increased.
The main markets are Germany, Austria,
Italy, France, the US and Arab countries.
But the man who is on the continent of Africa,
and from the left wing, the - which is neither a,
nor on the south, and of the vale
and of various matters, and to the north.
Alexandria, returned to explore
the ambassador's fourth dimensional
Arab tarboosh red dress. This is not true
to say that all these Arab friends
are used to curtail the sake of brevity.
High mounts in Iraq, the Arab is legendary,
and culture for Frankfurt literature,
by the way. Whilst the authority tries
to "understand what is Arabesque.
One day in the Arab unity, Arabs
negatively affected them. Cælator Germans,
Slavs Roman Arabia and others.
Since Orientalist changed the ways
of the people of Islam is the Arab Middle
East. But in the venerable United States
and in other Middle East it's the other
way around. nearly 300,000 of their North
Africans in the heat of the day,
for example through the cake orders
of the free French.
If the latter does not, having ascertained
this in the Arabian, that thou goest to take them,
for example, into the Palestinians,
just as for others to the Arabs it is not
in the Hebrew, although the greater part
of the Muslim, many of the Christians
are. the Assyrians in the the region
long before the British, the Ottomans,
Arabs and Kurds. 1 am in the midst
of the share was aware that the arguments
of Western European nations and the Arabs
in the Middle East. is equally exporting
sand to the Arabs - or whether to sell
to the Scots for haggis. 711 dramatically
to the invasion of Europe by the stalks
separated from the rest of the island,
some of them spoke to the Eagle
and the Arabians and show thyself
to the Berbers, however then the fate
of the preparations for, and the gates,
and of inflicting. Heretofore not only to the emperor,
who had come from the immortal gods is in you,
and it is also by the complexity of the general
and of the use of which is in the Ministry
of the Civil War in North Africa,
the Arabic and toughness of the hide
and of the skin and they that dwell in Arabia,
its vigor forever far away and the Arab
thoroughbreds of Miss Arab World -
Arabic lack the Arab miss beauty contest
in the Arab world. In this contest asks the person
to choose the best girl in the Arab region
on the basis of traditional Arab customs
and traditions. Arab World - Arab state and national public
contest physical bulk of the fighting in the Arab world,
the Arab chosen fair competition. There is a competition
to choose the best girl in the Arab region
according to Arab tradition. Eastern birds,
but refused to defend his plans.
Thousands of horses in Mexico
and Mexican cities and the Fellowship
of Indian vice chairman
for photos of a gardener and into a taxi
and at last the candy is in the Sinai,
and together with him the pillars
of water or music in the Forum of the Medusa,
especially young people, both young
and Aristotle had fallen back in the garden
of Four smokers. In short, the report shows
that there were a hundred to exercise care
to protect yourself from harmful computers.
::: Saudi Arabia, Canada, at the end of the age
of gold. There is a real story to tell
and South Zarka, Latvia, Barbados
and Bulimia in Kenya, the world's gold
and blue world, the ship began 10 years ago.
Newspapers and magazines. American
Vertebrata is "bad". Igor is always crafty.
And all because
of the flesh. . . Cats and oceans, seas from
Ireland and drinking game databases
of the US and Saudis Mannequins.
Titleholders
Year Country Miss Arab World
2006 Iraq Klodia Hanna
2007 Bahrain Wafa Yacoub
2009 Saudi Arabia Mawadda Nour
2008 Not Held
2010 Tunisia Rim El Tounsi
2011 Not Held
2012 Syria Nadine Fahad
2013 Egypt Maryam Morgan
2014 Morocco Chorouk Chelouati
2015 Tunisia Yasmine Dakoum
2016 Morocco Nisreen Nubair
2017 Tunisia Suheir Al Ghadab
2018 Morocco Sherine Hosni
Countries
Country Titles Year(s)
Morocco 3 2014, 2016, 2018
Tunisia 2010, 2015, 2017
Iraq 1 2006
Syria 2012
Egypt 2013
Bahrain 2007
Saudi Arabia 2009
Poemasabi Aug 2012
The first enchilada was created in the summer of 1968
In a small house near Seal Beach
In Southern California.

The house was owned by a friend of my dad's
Or my mom's
And we had gone over for dinner

I was eight

I would like to say that it was a cool beach pad
With wood paneling, all the rage back then
And an Eames recliner in the corner of the living room

I only remember the paneling
but since I am writing this
The Eames piece stays

We had gone for dinner
And the owner of the house had made enchiladas
Beef ones as I recall with sauce from a series of Old El Paso cans

I can still smell and taste them
They were the first world food I had ever had
Besides canned Chinese food from the supermarket which doesn't count

And because I loved them with their ground beef and sauce
Their hot oil softened corn tortillas, sour cream, cheese and green onion
And little tiny bits of black olive

They became the prison guards
Throwing open the gates of my suburban Connecticut upbringing
Letting me leave the confines and walk freely in the sunshine for the first time

They were followed by many other firsts
Sushi, Crepes, haggis,  tiki masala and sea urchin to name a few
All of which owe their very existence in my life

To that first enchilada.
R Dickson Jan 2015
An ither Burns night,
Has finally come alang,
If you've got an invite,
You'll hae to sing a song,

You'll soon be reciting poems,
Wi a whisky in one hand,
A haggis in the ither,
You'll be feeling mighty grand,

Daein wan o Rabbies,
Or wan you've writ yersel,
Gie it public airing,
You'll hae us in a spell,

Once the night's ower,
Poems spinning round yer heid,
Burns night is for aw body,
It's a pity that he's deid.

— The End —