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LadyBird Jul 2015
I wanted to go everywhere with you,
to dive into your past, the beautiful and the *****.
To meet every version of self you have ever been.
I wanted to see your frosting stained smile
on your 8th birthday. To know you when
innocence and hope still reigned.
I wanted to hear your midnight laughter on an
ordinary Tuesday in California. To sit on the floor in
that apartment that you couldn't afford to furnish.
I wanted to walk hand in hand
through the years of your life.

And when my curiosity had been sated
with endless waves of knowledge of you,
I had hoped you would've liked to
walk through my stories.
To meet the now-gone women
who molded my soul and gifted me with
love and a sarcastic sense of humor.
I wanted you to greedily feast upon all my days gone by.

Armed with an overwhelming acceptance of one another,
I hoped we would embark on a path we forged together.
I dreamt that when I savored pasta in Venice,
I would look up to see you sitting across the table.
I imagined that your smile was the last delight
I would feel before I slowly drifted to sleep in Amsterdam.
I thought the next time I dove under a salty wave,
It would be you at my side.

I wanted to experience every taste, every touch
and every breath with you standing next to me.
For, life was more beautiful with your hand in mine.
You were my welcome rose-colored glasses,
now laying shattered on the floor.

Without you I see the world in
all of its harsh grotesqueness.
Without your cloud of sweetness,
My past pain and horror yet unknown
have taken on new strength.

I now only wish to travel back to the time,
when I thought I had a chance with your heart.
I miss you.
Tucker Landis Dec 2012
So uncomfortable in my own skin
Walking through this empty place
Flat, no hills, no valleys
Just grass

I come to a well and in it is me
I see myself and ask myself questions
Why am I here?
As I stare at myself I can feel a new set of eyes on me
I turn and there is me again.
Why am I here?
A third set of eyes snaps to me and yet again it is me.
That same old reflection of insecurity.
Why so insecure?
Why am I here?
So quickly a new set of eyes gazes upon me and then off of me
Holding nothing but my insanity as a constant reminder of the grotesqueness of my character.

The well’s bucket holding my heart;
I looked at it.
And what a surprise a picture of me.
The well asks me why I am here.
I reply with a shrug.
Indifferent of the situation I walk.
Seeing myself everywhere now.
Why am I here?
I come to a different person, but all of my qualities reflected off of her.
Haunting me to my extent, I *****.
For I do not deserve this.
I’ll just give in.
The bitter sweetness of her presence is enough to be fatal.
Looking in her eyes I see my sorrowful and diffident self.
I give in and turn slowly towards the well…

I walk to that well…
I take the bucket off the string and pour out my own heart and listen to it splash at the bottom….
Tie my knot…
And hang myself…
Why was I there…?
Mike Essig Apr 2015
If perception truly is everything, then to age in Amerika is a psychological disaster.

Amerika is a youth obsessed country;  a capitalistic consumer oriented country. All the power of capitalism goes into (via advertising, etc.) creating and maintaining this youth obsession.

Take women as an example. If you are female in Amerika, you must always look 25. You must be slim, long-haired, sexually alluring, preferably blond and dress youthfully. Even if you are 60.

This goes a long way toward answering the question why so many women who are 40+ are so fat, unhappy, depressed and ******. Simply put, there is no reasonable way for most of them to meet cultural expectations.

Either they let themselves go (fatties abound in the US) or they resort to grotesqueness to measure up (extreme diet and exercise, plastic surgery, etc.)

They can't win so depression and self-loathing abound.

Most mature women have known that horrible moment when a young, attractive man looks right through them. They have become culturally invisible: they are shocked and hurt.

Men suffer from all this too, but not as much. Younger women will sometimes actually see value in an older man. Rarely, but sometimes, so cultural invisibility comes later for men.

Mid-life money, Corvettes and condos only delay the inevitable. The same moment will arrive and so will the hurt and shock.

This is not as simple as all men are pigs or all women are *******.

If we know that the perception that we don't exist is created by the capitalist media and advertisers, why do we do we buy into it?

Every age has its beauty. Why not accept it and be how old you are? Be who you are. Forget those impossible perfections. Stop trying to be Barbie and Ken. Be real.

It is difficult but possible. I have seen it.

In France you see lovely older women dressed alluringly (but not like 20-year-olds) who are slim, can run in high heels over wet cobblestones and exude sexuality. You often see them with handsome younger men, who are clearly entranced. Why there and not here?

Maybe it's the champagne or maybe it's just sanity.

mce
More questions than I can answer, but go to Paris and you will see the women I mentioned, This is the anarchist in me speaking. I loathe authority and control.
Matthias Aug 2011
It looks as if my heart is night.
Darker then the absence of light.
The taste is as if death cooked it himself.
The smell of miasma expelling forth
From my muscle beating.
                               Beating.
                               Beating just to keep alive the death.
However, I would had to be alive at one time to measure death.
Yet it has been so long since I can remember that.
My body feels cold and it grows still colder.
I can feel it spreading, and faster it goes when seen with condemning eyes.
My hands now black like ice on a road.
I attempt to remove the shallow grave from my hands,
But all I’m wearing is white and it’s spreading like wildfire.
Moving from the hidden into the visual sight.
I wear gloves to hid the grotesqueness, yet it bleeds through.
I have learned to except the fact of my situation.
All the pain it inflicts is in a certain sense something I'm use to,
And if it does leave I would not know how to be.
For it is my life to rid my life of such infliction,
But when, or if, I do I will have used up my existence
On that single fact and die from the inside out.
If I rid myself of the darkness there will be a hole.
A hole wider then can be filled by human measures;
Thus, my heart will fill with blood and drown itself.
I just need the idea of searching for a cure;
Not necessarily the cure itself.
Consequently, I will search to the end of the earth for a solution,
But in the back of my mind I know I shall never find.
Anil Prasad Nov 2016
Birds sing and fly
Flowers smile
Rivers flow
Mountains invite
Rainbows bend in
Seven colours
Sunset and sunrise
Do not amaze us
With their beauty
Their beauty
We do not care
With them we cannot pair
We do not have time
To stand and stare
At them to feel
And heal our broken selves
We catch them
In our cameras mechanically
Showing off our taste
In a haste lest the time
Should pass between
Our fingers stealthily!

We are busy fighting
Over a dead carcass
We use all our might
To prove our commonness!

While Nature laughs at
The grotesqueness of humanity
Its song, fragrance, breathtaking heights,
Soothing colours that might bring sanity
Are squandered and drowned in the rites
Of violence engraving epitaphs at
The doors of suffering humanity!
Taylor Ramey Dec 2015
The grotesqueness of Man
Shown to a clouded mind.
The animalistic nature
Of a society that separates itself
from the animals
Revealed.

In the moment,
Thoughts too jumbled to express
The stark realization.
The realization that society is sick.
A pustule ready to burst
Packed with the greed and malice of the masses
And the Hypocrisy of a people
Where being equal means being white
Where opportunity only lies in lineage

And then the sharpness and soundness returns
And all those realizations fade
Chalked up to delusions of a drug induced dementia
mikecccc Sep 2015
An extreme hedonist
Pleasure is the point
In all things
Be they love
Be they life
Be they war
It has a certain charm
And a certain grotesqueness
Or so I'm told
To seek pleasure
Over enlightenment
Over duty
Over all
So little pain
Except the fun kind
And
You can have all the starburst
You can keep down.
Ylzm Jul 2024
The heart and mind speak with one tongue
But for those of the rebellion as in days past

For these wars raged within hypocrisy without
Oblivious to themselves their nakedness

Entrenched and encouraged and flattered
Mutually and smilingly profiting and killing

Never knowing heart and mind always fighting
Their unknown demons within always losing

Following their hearts blaming their minds
Self mutilating, self abused, yet self loving

Proud of their filth encrusted grotesqueness
Mistaking for beauty that unseen in the dark
SC Jul 2015
I have seen hatred of me
     on the face of total strangers...
I have known
     ...physical
         .....emotional
              .....unendurable abuse and pain.
Each strike ripping my soul
       to shreds.
Yet I have found strength
     amidst broken pieces
Determined to repair
    both heart and soul
Some say~
     "Clearly with Crazy Glue"....
What's wrong with her?
      She laughs
         She dances
             She sings

Oblivious to the grotesqueness
       others firmly believe
            to be all that is she.
Yet my monstrous
   ....malformed
       ....aberrant
           tortured essence~
Still finds the compassion
     to offer a hand in friendship.
Able to muster the strength
      offering care
          and understanding
So desperately needed for self
         to others....
For the faint of heart
     may naught but see
         the scars
              the fears and
                tattered shambles of my life.
However, the few who stand
         in shoes similar to mine.
Share an understanding...
       A commonality....
          A symbolic connection
The stark realization of the
          courage it takes to survive...
              derived only through experience.
My shattered heart and soul
    Are but a badge of honor.
Proudly I carry
    til the end of my days....
Upon the day of my death, my last wishes are inscribed here.
I wish for Tyler Roth my closest friend, to hand down this will to whomever he sees fit, by chance I outlive him. Please had this to the next legal recipient.


They have granted me strength, enduring support, and became the mold from which I sprang from.

You, unknown to me who you are, yet it is to you that I entrust my bones and the flesh that expressed my wishes upon this world of which I can no longer call my own.

It is to you that I grant the strength of all my merits, and mistakes.
A dead mans wish, is the easiest to ignore, but with hope whatever sense of honor, respect, and pride you had in me you will not hesitate to bind yourself to the completion of this will.

To my people I give my wealth, my friends my property, my family my soul along with all its works, and to you my utmost important final desire, do not bury me!

For the love of all that is I.
Take my bones from my flesh, grind them down to powder and have them forged in a heat no lesser then the inferno in my soul!

Forge with it a tool, a weapon of the onward marching spirit!
Keep it close to you don't dare allow its blade to grow dull, its gleam to fade.
It is the embodiment of how you see not only my legacy but of what yours will become and of that to whom you will depart it upon.

Secondly take the remainder of what was once I and reduce it to a mixture of ash and dust.
Have it crystallized transmogrified in holy remembrance of what is unholy, because neither can exist Without the other.

Take it too the land of those who see value in nothing and yet still love everything.
Frame it high above covered by trees of beauty and grotesqueness so that you can only catch the light through this sprite of I on the entrances to my unnamed monument.
It will be my only way of saying hello and goodbye again.

Due this so that with the will and honor you've proven you have that you will not sit idly by saying he was a great man, or lesser things.

But that you will have no other choice but to say what have I left to accomplish of my own volition that blesses me with such honor, will, and pride as this old mans request to scatter his form.
This one is actually my will!
Shane Knee Sep 2015
Is it a drought if I thirst for you?

You a cascading angel who freely falls to mortal ground.

I attempt to hide my grotesqueness
                a body and soul of broken debris as you softly crash upon me.

You quench my famine lips with your wetness served on porcelain skin, the smell of your darkest parts soothe the pain that enslaves me.

I know the devil holds no mercy, sins not forgiven nor atoned, but for this moment, your sweet oasis gently pours over me...

...my body and soul of broken debris as you crash and lay upon me.
B H H Burns Jul 2017
Burrowing down deep,
that’s where he squeezed his feelings -
crushed them in his rib cage,
pulverized them into fears
that feasted on his festering flesh
til there was nothing of him left
but a squealing mush of grotesqueness
growing ravenous with rage
Inspired by #horrorprompt 'Burrowing Deep'
Jeffrey Robin Apr 2016
<>

/        \
/ \

000000



& in the vast grotesqueness

Of these times

-------

A SONG BY

the 4 girls

____



Crooked

Bent

Misshapen

::

She drags the broken image of herself


Here and there

::

From bar to bed

To ****** ward



we write poems about her and her pain !

( makes a fine read ! )

""""•>

We have mastered the art !

//

The art of really feeling

Nothing at all



We wait for the " helpless thing "

To fall




And then

( like vultures

We proceed )

"""

Somehow we call it

LOVE !

)(

till the feeling dies forever
--

CROOKED

BENT

MISSHAPEN

//

In the helplessness

Of

Our Poetry



.
Pink princess Jun 2019
Overwhelmed with anxiety
From expanding her variety
Of what she has consumed
The whole day now ruined
They say just take a bite
Not understanding the fright
Secretly she'll panic
Feeling gigantic
Automatically she hears her
Screaming look in the mirror
She says, again today you fail
Don't bother to step on that scale
She makes her keep it quiet
Claiming It will start a riot
She promises my happiness
As I grow Grotesqueness
Demands that I obey
Smile, pretend I'm okay
Not by choice this average
     bonehead configured Earthlinked
     went kicking, and screaming
     into refuse bin
naturally (no questions asked,
     nor guffaws uttered) with chin
clamped tight, since the missus
     (by some rare, min

ness school, one in a
     bajillion chancy pin
in a haystack fluke
     of circumstance) sin
gull handed dropped,
     the entire set of keys (YES) vin
**** heave lee into
     the morbid, horrid

     and fetid weeks old
     garbage filled dumpster,
     this an absolute zero - no win
ning situation, roundly pitched
     against a cosmic malicious yin
hmm..., a hunch shot
     thru my mind, that she,
whose first name simply Abby

blithely, casually,
     and deliberately tossed
     the only set of keys free
lee (for sole access
     to our apartment, plus
     the singular way to start our car,
     a 2009 Hyundai Sonata

     as if that makes sum difference),
     and with her sinister glee
fully, excitedly, and coquettish lee,
plus maniacally, preternaturally,
     and snidely wanted me
to sink deep into the
     junk yard rabid dog gone,
     maggot and rat

     infested stinking pit pre
venting no more violent
     fisticuff altercations getting re
tally lit tory revenge e'er since
     (I readily, stoically,
     and tacitly admit),
     this blowhard good
     for nothing husband drunken deal

O meg odd, Sigma Epsilon
     former frat boy,
     who weathered
     volleyed unspooled evil
epithet laced expletives  
both of us suffering fools dell
lose hen null, asper
      this match made in hell

yourr truly inflicting (measure
     for measure) un intel
ledge gent till hurtful heaping
     glomming pell mell
     more'n a death knell
feline times nine
     lifetimes of misery hard sell
tum ma crony's, a

     worthless corny soul
     shucked aye tell
     each of our base grotesqueness
     equally receiving our
     deserved respective weltanschauung
headstrong shouldering keel well
ling kneecaps, and toes
oven angry papa

     no match for an absurd
albeit, one petsmart mama bird,
twittering cruelly, emasculating    
my manhood, curd
dill ling, and excoriating
     thine ego, gird
ding mine entire being
     with accursed damnation heard,

this side of Schwenksville, Pennsylvania,
     sans her blistering, unswerving,
     and weltering wicked wrathfulness,
     yawping fiendish zeal,
     she malevolently espoused
     with every scathing word.
Norbert Tasev Nov 2021
For lack of a better person, people with a charismatic heart, with their slapped morals, they are all guiding themselves in a web of petty lies! Everyone's own, vivid echoing voice whispers the judgment in their brave-bold-listening ears: every repulsion, trampling is already legal and legal! And the fact that little people are miserable is a big fish pipe responsibility! In the Garden of Eden of Others, the life of phlegmatic celebrity jerks grows with disgusting success! But you can still live!
 
On the side of Barbie dolls in luxury speedboat categories, with back-moving biceps and barely hazelnut brains, Titans stretch! Everything is played, falsely disbelieving! The unruly heart is already bleeding a little more! Miss zero tolerance Dear! Just be careful Sweet! With its shapely garlic **** and stiffening heels, the gutted manhole cover is also a life-threatening area!
 
It is so self-contradictory on every level of denial Being that in its grotesqueness it is more mournful than pitiful! Greedy initiates foolish actions only so that he alone can win in the camp of unlimited usable credit cards! "Names that have been overthrown in the dark are forgotten by intentional, useless rogues!" It’s hard to turn from the Avitt era of the undead to ensure his survival, he carries out laws to his liking and breaks loopholes!
 
He is entangled in his stupid traditions with a deliberate propaganda purpose; it also tends to gnaw at its semi-preparatory future, except that it does not have to continue to agree! And because he always thinks that behind his victories, which he believed to be lasting, there is always the assured danger of the fall of Prideful! "That's how the famous Nobody lives today!" They are eagerly awaited in their hearts when they can joke with commonplace, cheap simple sentences
Norbert Tasev Jul 29
The inner core of personality is constantly weighed down by stereotypes and prejudices; those who still dream of sincere, true knowledge are forced to be stewards. They carry their selfish, predictable vices on their shoulders, which would have happened anyway, if they had not happened to them in the abysses of their past. Perhaps it is better if they remain a vice forever and become a dormant convalescent, who rather feigns a long, prolonged sleep, like the majority of chronic necrophiliacs, just so that they can finally escape what is really waiting for them.

Even the greedily offended summer residents are increasingly involuntarily overtaken by permanent oblivion; they scatter themselves among so many dubious flatterers, while a series of counter-thrusts knock them down again and again. As if in a looming emptiness, he is still searching for someone on whom he can count in every fateful situation of existence; he will slowly reach the finish line, slowly overtaking himself.

With the brutal morbidity of smiles, everyone is slowly letting themselves fall apart, because he can hardly do anything else. Brainwashed drunks are now even eating the spiritual food pantry of free thoughts out there, if there is anything left to grab.

Cautious love is increasingly rare in including awkward, experimental lines, invitations that it would be appropriate to participate in and show up at. Mysterious longings pass unnoticed from one moment to the next, because this whole thing that this raging outside World is doing to itself is so neurotic that it has completely surpassed the chronic fever curves of nonsense and blood-curdling grotesqueness.
bob fonia Mar 8
eEEK DALAI LAMA  grotesqueness

— The End —