The glory of the heavens which reflect such delicate blue,
Are alike a protective ceiling, keeping us safe from harm,
Where might this harm come from if above is empty space ?
Well, firstly it manages to brighten up the day more
Secondly it takes care of the sun's deadly rays, filtering,
purifying it in the most noble sense, a breathing sky.
The heavens far above are not without danger, but worry not,
for they are too far out of our reach, thus our eyes are the only,
fragile, valuable sense which is able to grap it's visibility,
Beyond this ceiling is where the stars inhabit, all of the planets too!
But the heaven is which gifts us the wonderful, stunning, warm,
bright colours of sunrise and sunset, thus alone is a reason to
love them furthermore.
In this wretched, corrupt and unrighteous world it is of great
importance to keep track of little things which cheer our way.
It could be a simple word, heaven or just the light of day.

~ Umi

take me away from this journey
i am trapped in the land of placelessness

blind / hypnotized
route 36 / bolivia
deaf / treated with ultrasound
simultaneously

scarcely knowing
what all that means

i am feeling the rising of blood
a wave of heat like sandstorms

inevitability: willful / knowing / aware

i am putting myself at risk of dying
long ago i read about the risks and consequences
of my ******* abuse
pervaded them intellectually while

my heart remains deafly because
of *******
bitter
sear
aflutter and in panic

there is just:

one life
one heart
one body one man

man what are you doing?!?!
i am hollering into my inner
embracing the envelope
obsessed over bitterness
numb love
in the dungeon of plotted heavens
lofty as never before
is where i am running away from:
every day

in the 1920s there was a man
who they called "koks-emil"
he sold ******* in the nightstreets of berlin

the national archive has been keeping
a picture of him doing business with
two girls out of gangland we
can't see the face of the one standing left only  
her back

however her companion typifies precisely
what the drug creates in our souls:
a form that can not be imitated
like the effect of the drug

a form of longing and greed in the
girl's face

longing and greed
balancing each other
not one of
these states predominates

while beholding the girl i am becoming
horridly conscious
about myself
horridly about

my relationship with *******
my affair with *******
my love to ******* this
sounds sick?
indeed it is

we call it
suffering from an addiction

we call it
suffering from a dependency

become clean.
i wish you willpower
wish you strong luck
wish you peace at last

the rate of relapsing
******* users is vast
during the night

when the wind is
breezing mildly

when the stones of the cities
are breathing out the heat of the day

while you are
sneaking over the streets

while every street corner resembles
the very one where
koks-emil used to sell his product

while you are sensing the smell
of bitterness

while you are being preoccupied with
her face: her longing her greed

while you are experiencing
yourself:

more deeply
more soberly
and more knowingly
as before

while you
are reaching out your hands searching
with kidfingers for koks-emil

the guy with the warped corner of the mouth
the reliable / greedy one

the one who is always ready

a salesman has to be available for
every second of your longing
every second of your greed

koks-emil: your world is made of black and white
your hat is grey its bonnet is vanishing as your
shivering hands

hands that spread capsules
hands that grap at bills
hands that you use to brush away your sweat

**** between the lipps
shabby coat

koks-emil your spirit
blows through inner cities like gas fumes
a grin on your face coming from
lurid lights

you became immortal
you underwent rapid decades
you were an addict
you created addicts
you served addicts

the ****** expression of the girl
your child-like customer
remains for

all for everybody with a
*******-addiction

for all and for everybody
who depends on *******

for all and everybody
who is clean from *******

for all and everybody:
longing and greed

rest in peace girl

hands- ruff, hard
see- colors, half, suger
smell- good, sweet
hear- nothing
taste- chewy, cherry, orange, grap

10 feet below the water’s surface and losing breath. A hundred pink gladiolus flowers float in the water above me. I see the sun’s rays burst through the edges of the petals to me. Grasping the sun’s rays to pull myself to the surface, I use the light as a ladder. I reach the surface and grap the pink gladiolus flowers. They turn into atropa belladonna in my cut up hands, the sun hurts me and Atropos threatens to cut my string. I retreat and go 11 feet under the water’s surface. I stay there and I lose breath, my lungs feel as if they’re going to collapse and just as I was going to close my eyes for good a single pink gladiolus gently sinks through the water past me. I watch it sink, it goes down past me and keeps sinking. I keep my eyes on it until it finally disappears into the darkness. I look up and I see hundreds of pink gladiolus flowers sinking in the water. The beautiful sight gives me hope. I grab flowers and pull myself up to the surface. I fly up out of the water and Atropos looks me in my eyes. I have one chance to change the goddess’s mind. I wrap my arms around her and she gently puts away her scissors. She knows that I’m worthy of a new fate so she sends me to a forest filled with gladiolus flowers and weeping willows. I know that I will someday see her again so I will make the most of the time that she gave me for now until we finally reunite.
END

I have a secret stash,
A tool box and an escape plan.
I can blend into a crowd,
Keep extra light bulbs
And a can of gasoline, a roll of tape.
There are no dull knives in the cutlery,
All the coats are on hangers,
Just in case of the drill.

When the air temp drops
I feel a hand grap my ankle.
The chance of headless horses
Clopping on asphalt afire is unlikely,
There'll be no open graves or walking dead.
The sun could blacken;
But certainly, no voice will proclaim,
In whom I am well-pleased.

It took ten thousand years
To fashion a bone hammer,
And when I passed it
I kicked it aside.

I would break my arm from the wrist to my shoulders,
just for a chance to touch those beautiful *******.
I feel so insecure and stupid, so out of my league
so out of the water, or in it where it's too deep.

Does she know she makes me sweat like a pig,
when she looks at me, with those big brown eyes?
Should I just throw it all away, and grap your ***
and kiss your wonderful lips? It's too deep!

Please forgive me for being so **** shy,
don't think I am yanking your chain.
Don't think I don't think about you
just before I sleep. Just before I dream about you

Life to me is like taking a swim,
No matter how calm or peaceful the water looks,
Dangers hide in the current.
Life will pull you under,
Sinking deeper into the waves that crash.
You kick hard fighting the water,
desperately you try and grap hold of anything.
You're running out of air and time.
So you latch on to the person that isn't submerged.
You grab hard, pull hard,
But instead of bringing yourself up,
You just pulled someone down.
And as you sink slowly to the bottom,
You regret what you did.
But you can't fix it now,
It's far to late.
Because life is like taking a swim.

there's nothin I can do to silence you,
nothin I can say to get inside of you,
I'd say **** it and try to fly to you,
just so I could rip your life in two,

but you know I aint that stupid,
I don't know it all but im not clueless,
i'd give it all to you if I knew that I could mute it,

but you just keep picking away,
i'm actually surprised im livin today cuz last night I got this close to ****** it in the drain,

if I could i'd steal your life from you,
but all you like to do is try and light my fuse and when you do..

tick

tick

tick


here we go again,
spinnin around in circles in hate with the world what else is new?
you never shut the **** up no matter how many times I tell you to,
I wanna ****** bury you, it scares me too,
to know that I would do things I thought i'd never do,
but you egg me on,
you **** me off so ****** bad I'd grap your head and tear it off!
I don't care enough to carry on,
I swear to god i've never felt like this,
but all that I can do is tell you ****,
I need a ****** outlet quick before my heart pounds out my chest,
what was fine is now depressed and what's surpressed is now a mess and mixed with all the **** that lives within my ****** head,
here we go again!
-
scream at the moon,
bleed out for you,
"see now the truth,"
kiss my ***,
don't need no help from you..

if only you'd stay the way i'd like you to,
the time before I knew what I know now,
i'd love you the way I did before,
then i'd let you lay me down,
and put me to rest-

I can feel you drawing nearer
The thought of you makes me think clearer
The temptations there to grap
Just do it
Just do it, you keep saying
Just do it
Do it, no more praying

They sit in my hand,
Silently screaming I'll take you to a foreign land

They slide down, making me warm
I'll never be torn
I'll never be hurt

Lying there drawing my last breath, I thank you for coming into mind
For stopping time

Gobble me down
Gobble me down
Grap your lips around
All of me

Gobble me down
Gobble me down
Until I am bound
For eternity

Gobble me down
Gobble me down
Please let me drown
While you chew

Gobble me down
Gobble me down
Let me be found
Inside of you

He was tired of being bullied and never fitting in
He was tired of people neglecting the tears on his chin
He didn't wanna live like some contagious disease
He just wanted to live a life full of love and of peace

He's the wierd kid, the strange one, a dangerous part
Threatening society with his wierd, abnormal heart
He's not like the others, and that's why he's rare
He hides all his scars, the scars of despair

When you neglect all this evil, you're guilty you too
Cause no matter how you feel, no matter what you do
If you don't recognize the horror in life
That is rejection, the true and painful strife

Just take a few minutes and think about the pain
That causes this poor boy to scream out in vain
But does anyone hear? Does anyone care?
No, everyone keeps avoiding this horror, this nightmare

Why is it so hard for people to feel and sympathise?
Why doesn't anyone take a step to rise?
Rise this world, rise this boy, rise themselves to feel
The feelings that for this kid is nothing but real

The world is cruel but that doesn't mean you
Cause you can still choose and decide what to do
And if you don't even care you're as guilty as all
The people who bullies, you all cause his fall

Don't try to make an excuse for how you make your choice
Cause you're still an evil soul with a weak, cowardly voice
Just take the first step, don't let him walk alone
Cause I know that you can, I feel it in my bone

You're never to old to try to go for a change
Cause a change of the world is always in range
Just reach out to grap the possibilities you see
They will never fade, just unite both you and me

There's no time to loose, cause soon it's too late
There's no need to stop, there's no need to wait
Cause there is a limit for what a human being can bare
Start with a little sign to show him you care!

But to go back to this particular case
You all waited too long for a gladness to raise
You're no longer capable of saving this boy
I hope you're happy, cause you helped them destroy!

Heavily I move towards the door
Am a strong woman
Struck with indecision
Its written all over me

Shows my vulnerability

I go out  and sit on the step
You sit behind
Wrap me up warm with your legs and arms holding mine, wrapped around

******* are resting all over your arms
Never felt so comfortable and safe.

I hear you breath
The warmth goes deep into my ear.
Tingling
Through every space in my viens

You whisper sweet nothings
Make me want to stay

We hold and look at the sky
You kiss me gently, over and over.
You stop and pull me closer, tell me to look at the moon

I do
Its full

You point out the brightest star in the sky
Apparently reminds thee of me

Heard it before
But not felt
You before
Not ever

Its like a fish, swimming for the first time.

Free
Safe

We sit my head rests
Back on your shoulder
You grap my hair pull
And caress my neck with your breath

We control

Lent back
Head on your shoulders arms under
You wonder
I ponder

We discuss the loss
Under the sky
The feeling of breaking
And avoiding taking

The brightest shining eye

The feelings of loss has to go
Its about defining you know

I would waterboard you, break every single bone in your body.

RIP apart your flesh, cook it and feed it dogs.

Your parents would be tied to a chair and see you getting tortured.

I would shove a giant cactus up your mums ****.

Your smelly stinky ***** Jewish dad would be ***** by 100 *******.

I would grap all of your family members by their big ugly Jewish nose and send them to Hell.

**** Jews , wish ****** didn't stop killing your people.

****** is my ideal, I wish l can continue what he left unfinished oneday.

**** Israel and all jews living in the world.

Everyone who befriends you is as bad as the next jew and doesn't deserve to live on earth.

Earnest is not a surname.
It's a deep rooted feeling
that's vein like
in its underscore.
How many times can it grap you
triffle with your cares;
berate you for thinking sorry,
often for a circumstance not of your own making.
Earnest can't stop one worrying
it prides itself on efficient woe

Denk toch niet zo veel aan dan, Daan.
Denk maar aan de zon,
de schaapjes in het veld,
de vrienden die je telt,
de momenten die je won.

Denk maar aan het zachte bed
voor straks en aan muziek,
die liedjes die je luisterde met
je lieve naasten, je hechte kliek.

Denk maar aan dieren, bomen,
gras en rolmodelfiguren komen
vanzelf je netvlies op, stap
naar buiten, lach om de grap
van de pakjesman,
lach met de mop
van je kind.

Wees gewoon vandaag
de beste versie van jezelf,
wees lief en help waar nodig
en als dat niet lukt,
maak je niet zovele zorgen,
je mag het allemaal opnieuw proberen
morgen.

I search through my disheveled mind bits and pieces  are all I find.
Perchance you could delve into me, and recapture inumerous philosophies .
All I can grap easily, are fragments of life’s poetry.

Anguish
Despair
Agony

Words that don't mean enough
Arent deep enough
Not deep enough
Scream while
You
BLEED

Destroy the room
Instead of
INSIDE OF ME

Pain that comes in a flash
Won't pass
Screaming
And crying
And begging to just
Be dying

But you don't grasp it
You don't grasp me

I slip away
Fall away into
A perishable mist
Fading
Falling
SCREAMING
Calling

See me
Understand me
Care for me

DON'T MAKE ME BEG
DON'T MEAKE ME CLAW
DON'T MAKE ME SCREAM
DON'T MAKE ME ONCE AGAIN
GO UNSEEN

Pain that comes in a flash
Won't pass
Screaming
And crying
And begging to just
Be dying

Going to happen again
Terrified
Unable to sleep
Unable to eat

Don't know whats causing
This pain
This damage
In my body

Avoid the food that it could be
Avoid the sleep because you only
Ever wake up to the anguish
Never comes on gradually after
You wake
No sleep
No pain
No food
No agony

Wanting anything but feeling
That pain again

A plan to be dying
The next time it has me
Screaming and crying

Traumatized beyond belief
Yet you all brush it off
And brush it aside with me

Only thoughts in my head
Is remembering the pain
The screaming
The crying
The begging that wouldn't leave my breath
The movement to grap that cops gun
Not leaving my body
The urge to lunge for all the medicines
Infront of me
But all I can do is
SCREAM
CRY
BEG INTERNALLY

To die

"Is dat *** het werkt, als ik het vaak genoeg zeg, vind je mij dan leuk terug?"
Een grap, een wens, eigenlijk een verwijt,
maar de diepe twijfel raak ik niet kwijt.
Tussen ons een ravijn, en ik stond
aan geen brug.