don't look at me with the sad eye, you knew **** well I wore the badge of the bad guy.
I understand that I ,have made more than a couple mistakes.
basically nothin more then a man who devastates n breaks anyone he gets to close to.
believe me I never chose to, live like this but life is hit or miss
guess not everybody's dealing with **** like this.
I bet about now you regret that kiss.
Grew up in a home where chaos is all I've ever known.
came to the conclusion were better off alone
but its too late
I've already grown into a man made monster.who wants her to do nothing more then save the day
take it all away ,make it ok
but that's not the way ***** gonna play out.
I should just get a tattoo on my head that says stay out.
don't try n find whats on my mind like I'm some kind of puzzle that needs to b solved.  I've evolved into what I need to be
not so Easily, understood why i never did the things that i knew i should
God forbid anyone finds out about the things I did.
Stayin off the grid cuz I know I got it comin.
Gotta keep hummin the tunes, that still holds a bit happiness, of a boy. yet to destroy.
desperately holding on to that joy the sound carries on.
For that moment the troubles r non..existent..
resistant to believe anyone knows what I need
so that wrong number I'm gonna keep callin cuz it's the only way to keep the rats from gnawin

My blessing is a curse
if time would reverse
It wouldn't ****** work
but beauty sprouts from dirt ;

Uhh ;
what the **** is wrong
Travelin that narrow *** road too long
thin line like a tight rope like a thong
Weak in the legs when she look like a fawn..

Devils head strong fed from gnawin off my back
my flesh heal slow nd they constantly attack
Intact
unfocused
Time would pass me by
i will not let you go
The apple of my eye

Mind’s wide open — body twitchin’, glitchin’, this pain is *******.
Thoughts crash like ******' panes in a kitchen, glass on floor
Glass in my grin shame diggin’ in, full pain.
Guilt pokin’ ribs like needles in skin.
Fire in my nerves, yeah this pain ain’t pretend,
Legal highs got me beggin’ for the end.
Eyes sunken, sleep duckin’, truth runnin’,
Mind ******’ me harder than life ever done it.
Dreams don’t visit, they drive-by in silence, alliance, defiance
While trauma backs up like a ***** with a license.
Heart skips like a junk beat glitched,
Shadow follows me like a snitch I ditched.
High legit — but the fit don’t click,
Cracked like a token tossed in the pit.
Broken on rocks while I fake that grit,
Every ******’ breath like a punch I split.
Gotta detox, get clean, get straight, give me rocks, big blocks
But mind’s on fire, sittin’ there, laced with hate.
It’s crawlin’ my skull, through the ceiling it leaks,
Whisperin’ sins in the hospital sheets.
IV drippin’ like a priest in heat,
Tryna baptize my veins with defeat.
Maybe I’m vain, maybe I’m ******' insane,
But this brain got rooms that scream *******, pain pain pain.
Temptation ain’t knockin’, it kicks the door in,
Talkin’ bends, ends, old sins, fake friends.
Promisin’ peace from a pill with a grin,
But I know that thrill ends under my skin.
Open door — I step right through, roof lit floor
Ain’t scared of hell, I’ve been see-through.
Shoulda died — yeah, death ******’ lied,
Left me half-man, half suicide, final ride what's inside see the blind.
Drugs in the drawer hum lullabies low,
Beggin’ me sweet to just let go.
Living’s a joke, the punchline’s stale,
Body in a bed with a soul on bail.
Paranoia sharp like a blade of mice, grain of rice, pipes that are spliced, in and out,
Gnawin’ my spine with feral vice.
Creepin’ up bones, crawlin’ through wires,
Slime in my mind that never tires, never lies.
Smiles from the past? *****, they charge, no they charge
Fake hugs, fake love — just emotional barge, living off drugs
Body sold, mind hijacked and bruised,
Truth tastes rotten when your teeth are loose, bones once whole broken forgotten
Tongue spits prayers in a ****-you voice, without choice,
While Morph and Feni dull the noise.
Stack of Beni like a hitman’s fee, trami and whites.
Every pill a silent plea.
War still young, but my soul’s unravelled, minds travelled,
Heart don’t beat, it ******’ gravelled.
I claw through the dirt just to breathe again, woke up to the pain,
Fightin’ shadows with a rusted pen an broken Zen.
I danced with edges, glad I'm not vedges, still ****** in the hedges, kissed death’s mouth,
Woke up in pain with the wires pulled out, ribs sticking out, blood all about,
This ain’t redemption, this ain’t a hope song,
It’s grit in the lungs and the will to prolong.
Me vs. demons, streaming, screaming, bare-knuckled, no bluff, No luck, no God, just drugs and rough.
And if I make it out, still half-alive,
It’s ‘cause I crawled through ******’ knives to survive, and if I don't well guess I died.