Child Child! I beckon

Cometh to my feet.

Giveth your spirit.

May your eyes heat.

 

From the tears that poureth

Down vicously

Giveth your spirit

Whilst laughing deleriously

 

I recieveth affection

From foreign hands

That giveth their spirit

From foregin lands

 

Child! Child! I beckon

Cometh to my feet

Grovel 'til I'm laughing

Your pain makes life complete

The rain falls, a soft pitter-patter in the background
Over it plays our music, calm and sweet
A song of love lost, never to be found again
Sad music, the best we have
Outside the windows, we watch the world pass us by
The rain distorting images, refracting light
Making the world a foregin, beautiful place once more
Like when we were children
Uncorrupted by the cynicism we develeop as protection
From a cruel cruel world
You drive, while I sit passenger
We don't talk
Words would only spoil the moment
With the rain, and the music
Your hand and mine, intertwined
We achieve a state of peace, tranquility
Perfection
And then
SWERVE
No more

I can look at an Afghani
and want to **** them
wish the most horrible death uopn them
and yet I can save their life

I can look at the blood, guts and even death
and never bat an eye
or even remember the injuries
until I have to load and unload them once again

I can cry tears of sorrow
and hide them upon my sleeves
so no one can see
what is exactly wrong

I can look down the sights of my carbine
with a round in the chamber
and mutter to myself
its only a job I have to do

Yet i can not express simple emotions
spoken, simple and direct
as if it would make a difference
of whether i am sane or not

I can understand a consequence
as it is the law of nature
every action has a reaction
that is equal and justifiable

I can write something meaningful
and never mean a **** word
if context and understanding
is never understood

I think i understand life
or atleast the simple meaning therein
any creature is meant to have
eat, drink, reproduce and sleep

I think I understand death
or the permenace thereof
when the look of dispair
is transfixed upon frozen eyes

Yet i can gaze upon the stars
in a distant foregin land
where death lurks in the shadows
and still feel so meaningless

Where does it come from?
This love so foregin
With is language hard to comprehend
and its ways so different from other feelings.
Where does it come from?

expect evenings laced with longing
youth buried underneath experience
desperate greed
and
foregin efforts to conserve the lives we lead

Its cold here
desperate and foregin.
LOST
Amidst all my fears,
broken promises.
AFTER
Seven blissful years.
Abandon all hope;
those who follow.

© Rayne,1-22-2015
11 days I survived.

Self love.
Two words that are practically foregin to me.
I have never been known to love myself.
Someone is always better.
Thinner.
Smarter.
Prettier.
Always comparing myself.
Always self loathing.
I wanted to be better.
Thinner.
Smarter.
Prettier.
So I stopped eating and I stopped going out in public with no make up on.
And I pretended that I knew about all of these different places and things; even though I really had no interest in those things or places.
And I would go home and cry and I started leaving scars on my beautiful, clean skin.
Because no matter how much make up I put on my face,
Or how many days I went without a bite of food;
Or how many things I pretended to know;
I still wasn't better than someone else.
There was still always someone better.
And now I look at the body that I destroyed.
And my skin isn't beautiful and clean anymore.
And my teeth are stained yellow from all of the cigarettes.
And my eyes have dark circles under them from the nights I spent crying;
Trying so hard to be perfect.
And that's okay.
I am finally okay with not being perfect.
I am ready to love myself.

At night, the Cool night,
The solitary night
I wait for you.
The crickets mutter
and the wind plays amongest the leaves.

At night, the cool night,
The lonesome night
I wait for you.
The stars send hidden codes
and the moon, the luminous moon
talks slowly.

At night, the cool night,
The confided to myself night
I wait for you.
The creatures do not stir
For they hear a sound so foregin
The clouds protect the stars and the moon
Clouding what they might see.

I catch my breath and
my lungs cool over.
"Its me" you say
Its you I say
At night, the warm night
The acompained with my love night
I run away with you.