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Esther Dec 2022
i finalised my "divorce" today. well, it was a breakup. 2 years together, lived together, shared our cats, shared a life... all that. so yeah, it felt like a mini divorce.

and i couldn't help but notice how relatable the song "happiness" by taylor swift is now...

"all the years i've given is just **** we're dividing up"

he left the house a week ago. today he came by, and divided up our shared things.

"tell me when did your winning smile
began to look like a smirk?
when did all our lessons start to look like weapons
pointed at my deepest hurt?"

when i first met him, it was the stuff of fairytales - like most relationships. we shared some of the best memories of our lives together. but like all good things, it came to an end. over time, we became stressed with life's responsibilities. we became toxic to each other, and both made terrible mistakes. towards the end, it became the inevitable to end things.

"after giving you the best i had
tell me what to give after that?"

i gave it my all. we both tried our best. it just wasn't meant to be.

"haunted by the look in my eyes
that would've loved you for a lifetime"

how i wished he was the one... given any chance, i would've loved him for a lifetime. i miss him. i miss the life we shared. i grieve for the future we will never have.

"i can't make it go away by making you a villian"

but just because the relationship failed, it was still extraordinarily beautiful. i hold zero resentment towards him at all. no negative feelings. i wish him all the best in the future.

"no one teaches you what to do
when a good man hurts you
and you know you hurt him too"

these lyrics hit me the most...

"there'll be happiness after you
but there was happiness because of you"

goodbye, lover. maybe in another lifetime, our paths will cross again. but for now, i wish you all the happiness in the world. i will always have love for you deep in my heart.
Simon Soane Dec 2018
In 1410 the village of Little Darling was a pretty nice place to live,
it’s houses were stout and wonderful and the people had lots to give,
the lord who owned the area was benevolent, he never ruled with an iron claw,
he spoke with softness and kindness, not knowing a cajoling roar,
he left the people to get on with their lives, unless they needed a helping hand
and then he’d be there to provide a peg up somewhere in his land.
Because of this the folk who made home here had it better then most peasants from this time,
who were condemned to a life of grinding servitude as if their living was a crime,
they were happier and joyful and free from the toil of subjugate,
each second was a pleasure and every minute spent first rate,
however there was one thing they shared with those who spent every day under the cosh;
everyone was filthy, no one liked to wash.
Only about once every 10 days would they pull bathing water from the well,
If they were especially filthy and their stink they wished to quell,
the rest of the time they didn’t care that they resembled a muddy shrub,
or their faces were still covered in last weekend’s off grub,
nor did they think it mattered if their hair was a matted mucky mess
or that compost heap didn’t smell more than their locks, it actually smelt less,
to them water was mainly a drink when their mouths were feeling parched and shoddy,
not a soothing liquid  with which to  cleanse their body.
Everyone in Little Darling didn’t mind being ***** and looking a unhygienic fright,
actually not everyone, everyone’s not quite right.
Alice always wondered why folk didn’t wash
and that’s not because she wanted everyone to be pretty, pristine and posh,
she just pondered as she daily made herself all gleam,
“why does nobody else round here care about being clean?
They all wallow around in their own filth like a burrowed germ,
more buried in soil than a busy earth worm,
I don’t get when there is plentiful water from wells not that far away
why don’t they dose themselves in the aqua good at any point in the day?
She thought, “Of course it’s their own life and if you never harm anyone else you can never do anything wrong,
but how how how can they fester in their own awful pong?”
So every day Alice would get up before she heard the going to work bell
and go and fetch some water to cleanse herself of smell,
she’d make herself all fresh and totally sans of grit and straw
and revel in the gleam she had coming out of every pore.
Everyone else in Little Darling all thought Alice was great,
a truly smashing lass who had tons of friends and mates,
yeah sometimes they’d remark to her “I don’t get your penchant for keeping yourself immaculate if I had to say
but who cares, I love you, have a fantastic day!”
And yes due to the mud in the village sometimes Alice would get herself all shiny and within a couple of hours look like she’d just crawled out of a cave,
but she didn’t mind as starting the day with a sparkle was what she did crave!
One fine day the folk of Little Darling decided to throw a big party as they adored a drink, a chat and a jive,
just have a massive night of  dancing, where they could give appreciation for being alive,
as Little Darling was a ace place they invited another village to join in the hedonism,
as they wanted folk to bask in hours through a wonderful prism!
When Alice heard news of the shindig she let out a chirping coo,
as revelling in the realm of fun was what she was really made to do!
As the week whiled to an end the day of the party came,
Alice could hardly contain herself as carousing ran through her brain,
she picked out her favourite garments feeling all of a super gathering quiver,
and then full of beans moseyed on down to the river,
she washed away with gusto and dressed all primed to go out,
“I’m on my way to get down and groove!” was her gleeful shout.
She started making her path to the good times, feeling all content,
she couldn’t wait to be immersed in the hub of blazing merriment,
as she was walking to the barn where the party was she encountered others making their journey to fun,
lit they all were by the going down sun,
someone said “hey Alice, I reckon you’ve spent an eternity scrubbing yourself for this bash”,
another said “yeah, I bet you’ve wasted hours by the river to get yourself prepared for this night on the lash!”
Alice replied and remarked, “yes I may have used my time getting myself ready and not been able to enjoy the chills and sits
but at least I don’t have hay in my hair like you ******* smelly *****!”
Everyone burst out laughing and happy all skipped to the revelry,
the slow dusk sky reflecting calm as far as the eye could see.
They jaunted into the barn with the music already in full swing,
the harp, drum, lute and trumpet players all doing their tuneful thing,
Alice grabbed a jar of foaming ale and started moving her body to the beats,
each noise in the air a consummate amazing treat!
Then from out of the corner of her eye she spotted a guy with dancing around in the air,
who'd cleaned his garb,
and washed his hair!
Alice thought "Wow! That guy doesn't look like his stench would make my opticals weepy,
in actual fact he makes my heart all leapy!"
They saw each other and felt swirls and sparks,
a knowing of what could and will be lover’s larks,
a chance they both knew could never be missed
and finalised their first look synchronicity with a longing kiss.
Everybody else stopped,
turned to look,
and knew a little bit more about
loves' rushing roars,
and couldn't help but breaking out
into a round of applause.
Alice felt a dawn,
reciprocated the smile of her fresh guy
and hand in hand they left the barn,
on their lips a glimpse of forever,
and went to find a empty stable,
where they could become all
***** together.
Exhale Your Mind Dec 2013
She says: WHY R U STILL LAYING THERE?
First she whispered, then she spoke and then she screamed
cause it seemed like i was consciously deaf.
'You say ur tired but are you really?
You say ur done but do you mean it?
You sure don't act like it.
You were happy, you were at peace cause i've seen it'

Well, now i'm not, i answered.
I'm emotionally broken cause he broke me,
My heart so full of feelings, they might choke me.
Feeling it wraps its cold hands around my neck,
As i gasp for air, waiting for my lungs to fill,
fuel my body with energy and try to fight back.
But i lack hope, so i finally gave up.
I fell so hard spiritually,
i landed on my back and decided to stay there.
Why? because:

There's only an amount of weight i can bear.
I feel like i passed the limit, twice
then three, four and five times.
So I've had it! My goal is so far, i can't even grab it.
Instead of feeding my spirit i overfed my habit.
Pulling myself away of His light, while my world turns black.
Crawling into the darkest corner
far away from Him cause i'm to ashamed to show my face
Ignoring her calls, denying His arms, disregarding His embrace.
Forgetting His grace and neglecting my thoughts.

And then she, the inner voice in me,
finalised our dialogue.
Why are u broken while He healed you?
Why are you a slave while He freed you?
Ain't there anything that you've memorised.
Rise up before you realize it's to late.
before your inner voice, actually the voice of God, is gone.
Cause then you'll get as cold as the floor that you're laying on.
Emi Jay Aug 2018
there is a part of me that
chases, clamors for, craves your touch
(soft, steady, gentle or far too much)
a stubborn/reckless fraction
of an imperfect whole;
yearning to cage the still uncaged,
to catch myself a lost angel.

but your heart is too fragile,
too precious and too complicated
(untarnished and unremonstrated)
and my grasping fingers, they
would leave smudges and stains
handprints upon a handkerchief
****** white in this world of ink.

you are not a blank canvas
that tempts one into leaving a mark
(writing my name, my love on your skin);
you are a finalised masterpiece,
every line perfection,
and to change, covet or chain you
would be the highest blasphemy.
I offer no useful explanation
No news flash story on the madness of my life
Cause there's sorrow and sadness, yes
and loss and 
"yes and no" answers
25 years of grieving bereavement 
Me at my hastily finalised funeral
Songs and soundtracks 
A casket carried out  
To far approaching forever
Awkward; pausing moments
The pall bearer moves, nervously
Slips
Someone 
Plants an assuring hand- 
Mateship stays but Death-
Death 
goes on and on and on
Rattle ump thump
And the end is never near,
And always.  
Big Virge Jun 2021
Waiting Waiting..........
Always WAITING.... !!!

After A While...
Becomes FRUSTRATING... !!!!!

Like Waiting For A Train...
That’s Gonna Make You LATE... !!!
Because It’s Been............. DELAYED...

Or... Waiting For The Day...
When Girlies Play STRAIGHT...
Instead of... Playing Games...
When It Comes To Getting Laid... !!!!

Ya See Waiting Is A Game...
That ISN’T Fun To Play... !!!

If What You’re Waiting For...
DOESN'T Guarantee Rewards... !!!

Like Music From Producers...
Who Have ALL The Excuses...

For Why It Takes SO LONG...
For Them To Finish Songs... !!!

To Me These Guys Act FUNNY...
When It Comes To Getting MONEY... !!!!!

“We need to be paid,
before we play a single note !
That’s it okay, no time to wait,
or for debate !
If you want your stuff,
to really sound tough !
Pay us up front,
and you’ll get what you want !”

That’s How It STARTS...
UNTIL Cash DEPARTS... !!!

But Then You're Left....
WAITING............................ ..

Waiting... WAITING.... !!!!!

And Then You're Left Stationed...
Unable To... “Move”... !!!!!
Just Like Black Nations....
... Requiring FOOD... !!!

STARVED of Information...
About Your Tunes... ?!?!?

Waiting Like SATAN...
With A Darkened Mood...

Because You Want CLOSURE.
Before Your Composure...
Gets Lost And Confused...

Because These Guys...
... AREN’T Telling You...
When Things Are FINALISED...
... Which Is NOT COOL.... !!!!!

Because INDUSTRY Types....
AREN’T Known For The Truth... !!!!!

Or For Doing What’s RIGHT... !!!
By Artists... Who....
Place TRUST In Them... !!!

These Industry Heads...
Who... Play The FOOL... !?!

But Walk Away PAID...
Even If Your Tunes...
Don’t Sell Or Get Played...
Like... Biebers' Do.... !!!!!

I Guess It’s Like Blacks...
Waiting For Reparations... !?!

Because Your Track’s...
Getting NO Rotation... !!!!

... ON Radio... ???
Or... In Your Own Home... !?!

It’s True.... White Folks...
Play The Same Old Role...

NO Getting Past GO...
Until THEY SAY SO.... !!!

Its The Same Old Story....
WITHOUT Denzel...
Or A Film Called... " Glory "... !!!

BIG WIGS Turn Tricks...
More Than They Make HITS... !!!

And The OTHERS Try To Smother...
By Pulling STROKES Like BUTTER...

When THEY TOO Are...
..... BLOODSUCKERS..... !!!

SICK ******* Type HUNTERS... !!!

Just Waiting For Young Prey...
To ABUSE While They Make HAY... !!!

They Say It’s Just A Game...
That You Have GOT TO PLAY... !!!
If You Want To GET PAID... !!!!

But... Waiting In Vain...
Holds Weight TODAY...
In... Different Ways...
To Bob Marley’s Day.... !!!

Or Maybe Just MAYBE... ?
Things Just WON'T Change....

It’s A STRAIN On The Brain...
For Those... " In The Game "...

Who Play It... STRAIGHT... !!!!!

From Those Who ENTERTAIN...
To Those WAITING For THAT TRAIN  ... !!!!!

CONTEMPLATING At The Station...
WHY ON EARTH Am I STILL.....

...... “ Waiting “...... ???
It's a tough old road, the artistic one, however, it's not always down to you, where it takes you !
Mark Oct 2019
The blues spoke out loud, as the very first person, to me
Talkin' 'bout movin' on and leavin' your troubles behind
That's what the blues should feel like, like being set free
One day, a college educated black man, rather refined
Met a lean loose-jointed ***** vagrant, swingin' with motion
He was a sittin' over there, between the police and the railway station
When he first heard this gifted black musician, playing his guitar
But, he'd been pulling a knife across the strings, how bizarre
It was the weirdest sound, that he ever did hear.

Music was being played all down the south coast
Mainly for pleasure, but also for future profit, they'd all boast
But people were throwing coins, at the soles of this dudes feet
He said, it's played by all the blacks, but whiteys can't hear its tunes
Played all night and day, making some money, just enough to be able to eat
Some would even use a ***** ole wash bowl, along with some silver spoons

I wanted to learn me, how to pick that guitar, oh yes sir re, indeed
There was a sweet singer of the swamp lands, always high on green ****
Passing on by here, to put down a few tracks, all 'bout da blues
He'd never stay too long, 'cause he was wanted by the state
Word had it, he was from a town in Texas, named Fate
He was known as Lead Belly, who never paid his dues
Yep, he did become that infamous, murderous minstrel

You gotta take an eight bar phrase
Then simply, make it a twelve bar phrase
Now ya got ya selves, dat ole fashioned blues
You'd know a lot more about the blues, by meeting the people
Than you would, listening to it, from home or relying on the news
Or seated around a **** on the radio dial, like most lazy towns people
The uptight white cats from LA, didn't bother, to hear those sort of tones
Even after sitting, right beside the famous UK band, the Rolling Stones

In the meantime, mainstream USA sat up and twirled
As they smashed through their southern racial barrier
So everyone could be happier, they'd forget about their interior
The British had heard it, full steam ahead, they then told the world
Letting y'all know, who these great blues music people, really are and were
Then, white America said, 'Well let me go see', what's making them purr

When it was all done and finalised
It was only then, that we realised
That it was so hip hop
For us to put the blues back on top
We had the big bop, then the 80s pop
Thru to ZZ Top, along with another MTV flop
Tearing it all up, leaving behind very few clues
Even though, they were just, as bad to the bone
Just as the original good ole blues
Should've always done.
Matt Earl Apr 2017
My beautiful suicide
Written in the stars
Tired of hiding bruises
Unhealed septic scars
Tranquillity is calling
At last I’ll be at peace
Solution finalised
Time for breath to cease
Remember all my yesterday’s
Laughter plus the tears
Running for my destiny
For more than fifty years
Viseract May 2016
The ******* get bitchier by the year,
The most common insult is "that ***'s queer"
I ignore the threats, laugh at the bets
And I'm still laughing when I smash in their head

Some don't believe, others try to deceive
They think I'm weak but that's what they see
Looks can be deceiving, the only quote I'm reciting
Hope they think the same when they're beaten and bleeding

My father told me not to start ****
But honestly, they just keep going at it
One day I'll snap, fall into the trap
And bust my way out as if I had a secret map

High-school horrors, mocking me
Taunting me, make me bleed
My heart is bursting full of rage and hate
You better give it up before it's too late

Fate and chance, holding hands
Slowly waltzing, eternal dance
So I'll bide my time, and spring the opportunity
Leap at it with both hands and fulfil my destiny

I know how to fight, hoping you're getting this right
I try not to overkill but I can show you lights
Showtime, centre stage, playtime, anytime
Storytime, finalised, tell it to your kids

About that one kid who took them all down
Grabbed his neck, forced him back, slammed his *** into the ground
Smiled and laughed at their pathetic attempts
The worst thing for your business is when you mess with the best!

High-school horrors, mocking me
Taunting me, make me bleed
My heart is bursting full of rage and hate
You better give it up before it's too late

I've decided, this isn't worth listening to
So what you gonna do?
I hope this gets through to you

I've decided, I now know what I'm gonna do
So what you gonna do?
When my fist meets your head and it bursts right through!

Blood on the ground and a beautiful sound
Finally, silence, paralysed by shock and horror
Didn't expect this? Didn't think of the consequence?
Should'a thought it through now let me just finish this!

High-school horrors, mocking me
Taunting me, make me bleed
My heart is bursting full of rage and hate
You better give it up before it's too late

High-school horrors, mocking me
Taunting me, make me bleed
My heart is bursting full of rage and hate
You better give it up before it's too late
Possibly my new favourite song of mine. Hope you enjoy
Bleurose Dec 2018
I do not come to you with the usual platitudes
Things you have heard numerous times before
Though perhaps my arrogance stretches far and these words have reached your ears many a time.
How am I to know.

I would ask you, to save me.
There is no need to take any action, just keep shining.
You taught me, or rather, finalised the lesson - when my fathers should have - that you can be as fantastical as you want to be. You do not grow old, your body does.

Thank you for reminding me that I'm still growing and that there is Hope for me.

But if your light were to go - I suppose I would still live - but life would be so much darker.

Thank you for smiling when you can - I of all people know there are rainy days.
SabreLi Dec 2016
I recently received a gift,
Its sender knew me well
And though inside it caused a rift
Its meaning time would tell

But time past is gone forever and never returns
So be careful how much of the wick you burn

No query, doubt, no second guess
Entered my mind at all
I didn’t wonder, I confess,
While waiting for the curtain call

I took the bow from round the box
Felt the fabric in my hands
Turned the key, opened the locks
As I finalised my plans

‘Cos time past is gone forever and never returns
Just be careful how much of the wick you burn

And as I freed it from its prison,
From the confines of its walls,
I saw it in the moonlight glisten
As I heard the angel’s call

I felt it press against my skin
Let the icy touch devour
Leaving a trail of heat within
I met with my final hour

‘Cos my time has passed now and will never return
No, I won’t be getting a new wick to burn

The gift that I received today
Its beauty was exquisite
There was no point to cause delay
For its purpose was explicit

Copyright ©2016-2017 KF
Self explanatory
J Aug 2017
Getting ready to end your life,
Ain't an easy task.
Everything has to be finalised.
Therex no room for errorx,
There needx to be finalisationx,
Ticks, dotx, T's crossed.
Importantly,
There is no room for a mistake,
Been there, done that.
Wasted my time away,
Day after day ....
**** the government man,
And **** the cuntx who kept my kidx from me .... Hit me harder please.
You ain't taken enough from me.
I have to be happy,
With nothing man.
So hit me as hard as you can.
Hold up ..... The exz and their possiex did a good enough J.O.B.
I can't even enjoy the simple thingx.
**** man.
noumena Aug 28
i realised that i never finalised the finishing of writing this.. so here it is. it was done in part four but.. i felt the need to announce it. so..here. this is "obsessed."

its very easy --
to get obsessed,

getting obsessed
...but with writing?

it can hurt.

because it becomes
your only way
to cope,
to stay sane --

to be okay.

and its hard to
open up to people
after writing for so long.


and having paper
be the only one
who truly understands.

its difficult to be
vulnerable and open
about your feelings
and opinions
when writing them
is all you know.

not my best work, imo, but that doesn't mean it's bad.
seems maybe if it is written down

for tomorrow

in the diary

it gets done today

finalised with finesse tomorrow

like

the stick fence and composting

and other varied tasks

pottering in and out

did you see that river stone there

adding accent

do you see the chicken wire behind the ivy covered some time ago

do you find that predictor adds words not required and meanings irrelevant

even the thorns came useful

— The End —