The intensity of hearing your voice for the first time
                      (since you threatened to **** me)
the familiar growl and curt tone
                      (sounding like a teenager rolling their eyes)
and all this time I thought I would be unafraid
all
this
time
I imagined how together I could be.
Siked myself up.
Prepared for the worst.
And all I heard
was adolescent attitude and no room for compromise.
"I'm really busy on Christmas."
                (Too busy with your new meal ticket to talk to your children?)
One minute
Twenty One Seconds
And even though you didn’t yell or call me names or call me out
I still felt timid, cowed.
I still pretend I am hard
unsuccessfully ignoring you in the halls.
Making awkward faces.
                       (Not used to not feeling guilty.)
I just can’t talk yet.
                       (I can’t and I’m okay if I never do.)
I can see your anger, though.
My awkward grimace sparking a tongue in cheek, “Felisha.”
I loved you....
                       (I still do but I'm not after your hand.)
And our soul friendship is real.
I fear
carrying these two endings with me for a long time

Random is what I supposed
Until too many random acts
Came my way
What I prayed for was
Never answered
I saw her arm
Those black dead eyes
She was dead a long time ago
I said hi
Beautiful
And she began to
Replay her story
He was a trucker drove up in his rig at 12:30 am
Paid today
A *** burning his pocket
The ambulance took him away
At 3 in the dark morning.
She was arm candy for the rich
Best store bought **** ever
A wild one
She'd come to the house to play
After making a score
Take a hit and sit and rock
Back and forth
For two days
He was a runner for the dealer
Everyone called him the
Walking man
He stole an ounce from
Under the meanest bulldog
In town
Showed up throwing rocks the
The size of my toenail on a red hot blazing stem.
No one ever saw him again.
She was five dollar Felisha
You know what was her specialty.
Lots of times she had chrome on her lips.
Then was me.
I had the house.
I'm glad I moved.
I saw too much random ****.
I think now there was
A purpose.
I'm living again.
Until I die.
And there ain't no such *******
Idol as random.

Im in the city with my hittas  and I'm further  then you know.
And it's kinda crazy but I love it babe  *** Houston got some snow.

..Tell me what they won't . love me say it slow ......
I've been in the cold , Doing donuts that's for show
Hate is guaran-teeeed,
Roll it off my sle-eeeve.
Why you stare at me ,Tell me why you fu wit me?

Ya-ya.

Regular voice -

-Karate chop these bars just like hiyah.

-*Jumping to this paper just like Zi-
I keep pink strap and a ****!
I ball like jim Jones and Mike !
I mix sativa with felisha in a Sentra take flight  !
You wanna talk talk on wifi then switch sides like bron bron like Tupac I realized the real eyes gone realized!

Hate is guaran-teeeed!

Mmmmm Roll it off my sle-eeeve!!

Why you hate on me ..?
Why you hate on me