My friend Lontra
was about to jaywalk
but he chickened out
once he saw the incoming bus.
I didn't. I knew I had time
so I ran. I was almost
on the other side
when I tripped
on a bump in the concrete road
I fell. Lontra said
that I fell in slow motion
as he held his head in shock.
He said I ran like a fatman
I fell like a fatman
and I rolled around as one as well.
Everyone in the bus looked at me
he said as soon as
the fatman hit the ground
they all looked to the right.
I got up from my ***
and limped towards some steps
sat down holding my elbow
that I used to break my fall
while he laughed uncontrollably
he said there was a lady
walking next to him
and she just stared at me
on the floor
and then she saw him laughing
so she laughed as well
like she was waiting for
permission.
I'm not a bad sport.
I was laughing since
the moment I realized
that the bus didn't hit me.
We went to McDonald's after
I ate my meal
without washing
my hands.

months are getting shorter than
                prescription bottle dates
                                  say they would
         the holes on the strap of his belt
                     are putting for triple bogey
               shedding the wrong weight and
                    feeling kinda nervous to say so
                                                              ­             shine a light on anything(-)
                                 and watch it misbehave
                                                it always will.
                                    where we are going
                                        is never the way
                                          we used to be
                                     Is That Exciting
                                          Frightening
  ­                                          Relieving
             ­                                   or D.
                                       All of the above

On row DH30A102
Buddha is seated,
meditating.
Underneath him
in dust covered boxes
a dozen more
radiate enlightenment,
waiting to be shipped out and sold
for 29.99 at your local store.

'Surely the fatman
will give our house
a unique Zen feel to it.'

We've got our backs against the wall as someone knocks it down, and we are being bulldozered right out of London Town.
Keep your freedom,information act
and act as if you give a ****
but too a man
you aren't any men if you would kick a man when all that man is trying to do,is muddle through and pull his weight
what a god ****** awful state and if it is then where the hell is he?
Supping tea with Cameron no doubt and wondering what the fuss is all about.

He'll get no prayers from me,
not while drinking Indian tea from China cups with saucers full of biscuit crumbs,while bums are begging on the street and Mother's can't make two ends meet.
what a god ****** awful state it beats me why we soldier on
we're as good as dead when all hope's gone
we ought to take a tip from those who've seen it all before and smash down the doors of greed and hyperbole,set the dogs to war and then we'll all be free.

Anarchy
the only way
break the day apart
reassemble what we've got and let's get shot of the lazy lot who stifle our ambitions,
Take positions
let them have it,
**** will rise, and look into their fatman eyes they know,it's long past time for them to go.
Just blow them all away
sweep them into yesterday and start afresh,anew
the only thing that we can do is fight,
set light to parliament and the mandarins,make effigies and stick them full of poison pins
and tear them limb from lying limb,

Time to begin?
You tell me.
Is it time yet to be free?

This just in:

I'm afraid that Christmas will have to be
canceled this year as the fatman, his sleigh,
and reindeer were all shot down this
evening by an atomic ballistic missile
while flying a test run over north korea
for the big night.  kim jung-un had this
to say "Rot in hell you fat *******, you
no love the Christ.  SONGUN!

I’m not sure if I ever believed
I do recall kneeling
At the side of my bed
Back then I also put
Teeth under my pillow
Next day there was a quarter
Proof, the Tooth Fairy was
real
Then of coarse there was the Bunny and The Fatman
Both leaving evidence
Of their existence...
In fact, I’m pretty sure there’s a connection here...
What? There’s no Tooth Fairy? No Bunny?
NO FATMAN!!??
I was told that guy knew when I was sleeping
Even knew how I was behaving
Could perform miraculous
Feats
Well...
If all that and all them were
made up
What of the other guy?
What of his powers?
Did he REALLY know
If I took his name in vain?
Did he even care?
Could he REALLY know everything, everywhere and all times?
In fact, he had a beard too, didn’t he?
I’m not sure if I ever believed
If I did
I didn’t anymore
Even while being forced to church
I hardly went
If I went
I wasn’t there
Believers believe I need to believe something I don’t
I can’t
It’s not in me
And never was
I’m not a fake it till I make it kind of guy
I respect those who do believe
I never question them why
I hope for the same in my disbelief
I’m just not a Godly guy

Here’s a playlist, Mr. Ex President:

'I Fought the Law' by The Clash
'Chain Gang' by The Pretenders
'Locked Up' by Akon
'My Own Prison' by Creed
'Prisoner' by The Weeknd
'Famous-in-A-Small-Town' by Miranda Lambert
'FatMan on the Run' by Paul McCartney & Wings
'Jailhouse Rock' by Elvis Presley
'Prison Grove' by Warren Zevon
‘Who’s Sorry Now’ by Connie Francis
‘If I Could Turn Back Time’ by Cher

If convicted, Trump should claim to identify as a woman

I often get in between
of men fighting
in bars or cafés
I try to settle down
the fire in their bellies
I step in
Hold them
by the shoulder
and say something
of the sorts:

"Common guys,
you just had a little
much to drink.
we're all friends,
right?"

I've caught
some stray jabs
in the past
so now,
I'm quick on my feet
to step back
and raise my hands
showing I'm not
down for a brawl
not with drunks
at least.

"Get your hands
off my ******* neck!"

Said the last one
I tried to calm down.
He was drunk
and wanted to play
the drums by force.
There was
a karaoke band playing
and the drummer
was a woman
She called
men to the stage
I didn't hear her call
all I saw a
drunk Nordic tall and fatman
about to ruin
everyone's evening.

All of this
was none of my business
My woman scolds me
for getting
in the middle of things
that I might get hurt
and she might get hurt
and she has kids to take care of
and that she brought me
to that bar
and if we got hurt
it would make it her responsibility
all of which I completely dismissed
I didn't think that
it was that serious.

There was this other time
I was walking my dog
a black medium
schnauzer who
enjoyed resting
on the top of my
living room table.
I would walk him
everyday but this day
it was a different day
I walked by this white car
those white fancy cars
that you know are expensive
even if you are like me
and don't understand much
about cars.

"Help me!"
a man's voice yelled
from inside the tainted windows.
He sounded desperate
almost as if he had
a knife up to his throat.
"What's your problem
don't be stupid."
another deep voice said
a baritone's voice
he sounded stern and calm
it felt like controlled violence
like he had been holding
the knife for a while.

I didn't really care
if there was a knife involved
but it sounded serious
life or death
and I chose life
not of the man
who needed help
not of the one
who held the knife
but my own.
A classic case
of none of my business.
So, I just walked past the car
with my dog
didn't even look at the windows
and the dog finished
I went back home.
I backtracked
the car no longer there
I got to the building
climbed the stairs
and with each step
the idea of not caring
settled in my belly
and it didn't make me sick
and that bothers me
because it should've.
I got home
looked outside
my balcony
no trace of the white car.
I told my father about it
he told me it was probably
a gay couple
being a little too rough.