Nobody feels the same way,
Although we all feel sore,
With our unique cuts and bruises,
Scratching the cold surface, begging for an end.

Everyone's head is throbbing,
Overwhelmed by too little or too much,
Sailing a broken boat in their own troubled waters,
Searching for a pill customised to their inflictions.

A fire begins somewhere at 4
completing the home
God Queen! – - alright!

The walls and floor boards move
here. and new flesh joins and unwinds

animals grow like colour, hooking the
dinning tables
and making them bleed

like bright silhouettes
and the fashionable mountains and chairs
that we couldn’t afford
bow down, and change within the heat

your hair fits my suit exactly, everything matches the flame
eventually

without any effort, I never thought we could
afford. all this stuff. our portraits drool

as we do, the floor is as warm as the air, we crawl forward
to the carpets and door
that permit our hand
marks, in the clay, and sync like dancing dolls
in the softness of ash
climbing up
the substance of string

closer to the heart-hand that moves them
with ease
we rise again
and walk
like marionettes under fog
we aren’t gone yet, we have good
mind, taste
and the dog bowl
releases its plastic sides to the floor
easier
than pouring ghosts in the rain

our room now matches
perfectly
to the colour books we saw

flicking through chimera
and seeing
one

that looks back.

Dear diary, can I tell you a story?
I tried last summer
Dear diary, can I add to that story?
I lied last summer.
Dear diary, can I finish that story?
I died last summer.
But to explain that further, let me tell you the whole story;
I lied last summer.
Your mouth spews out insults like a second nature,
polluting the room with your sickly sweetness and over made up frowns,
before we know it over-sized hoodies and baggy t-shirts,
line our wardrobes in a desperate attempt to make us invisible.
Teachers turn a blind eye and old friends start to forget us.
Before we know it, we’re keeping our hands down in class,
first of all because we don’t want to share our opinions,
but more importantly because no-one would even care.
In this 21st century hell,
we can only try and tread carefully around you,
because when we don’t, it’s worse.
When we don’t, we have to bear the sting as reality slaps us in the face leaving us feeling flustered and insane.
And before we know it,
we’ve forgotten what the heat of the sun feels like upon our bare skin,
because we hate the paranoia we feel,
just walking alone where you’re around.
And the rest of them, they just sit there and stare,
as though willing it away half-heartedly in their minds
could cause even a miniscule amount of difference,
while we,
the freaks,
the losers,
the broken records among a pristine collection,
we were all rotting away as you, like a rat, ate hungrily at our collective corpse.
Before we know it,
those bitter, barely customised whispers you send through the hallways
turn into a deafening ringing,
in our heads constantly
And so as the cool summer air blew through my hair,
red hot tear streaks fell like train tracks upon my pale, blotchy cheeks.
Time slipped through my fingers as weeping angels serenaded me,
eyes closed,
heart overdosed… on emotion,
a notion,
distortion
of devotion…
I fell in slow motion.

A river
a beautiful mirror
once a free spirited clear sparkle
now a stagnant green and blue
gullible and naive she was
smiling warmth back at every leer
and sheltering all
the odds and evens
abused and left
look at her lust for life
for she still hopes for some
footsteps of love and care
to kiss life in her
and resurrect her dreams
the torn body still with
a soul alive
oh how hard she tried
to keep her wounds hidden
from the smirking eyes
but sometimes even the pride refuses
to hide the pain any more
And the breeze
she never makes any promises
she can't be customised
spreads tranquility and stench with equal
fervor
some old 'loyal' followers
still talk about her
often reminiscing the beauty she was
but then there are the things as should and could
often overpowering the done
Hope the sun shines before
she closes her eyes

Choose! For the Nymph's Androgynous Sake, choose!
Stubble your Scent once this Customised Path
And not from which we prefer to disprove
Which only conceals your justified Wrath
For Harmony - the Toll which Fame does pay
Eats you Alive; And Life indebts your Due
Of we but Spleened Mortals know no other way
But build whatever Blocks we have of you
Smart-Tombed, then, your vast Executive's Plot
Eager for your Rebels assassinate
Even with Healing Truths they ply a-lot
Once lock-bites apply, it will be too late.
Or perhaps alone, your Conscience ignore
These Girls cry your Tissues; And nothing more.

Entered temple
to do a customised prayer
Something happened
God appeared
But temple disappeared
Me alone with God
God asked, "Any wishes??"
I replied, " No, Wishes give
Comfort not happiness.."
then
wanted
to be in heaven for a day
Agreed,
I was introduced to his Ministers
and we chatted for a while,
I wanted them to play chess
In their side they have
4 queen,
3 bishops  
5 elephants
30 pawns
But in my side
As usual of 16 pieces
When asked??
Why such arrangements??
They said
In heaven
We never use brain
We are no match for humans
Got up
from the dream
Then, why the hell
we want
to go heaven..

Dummy turns a plastic cheek,
Ready for a drunk thugs slug of fist on PVC.

Father made dummy boy like some hurried Pinocchio,
But wood was too good,
Too alive,
Too sensing.

Plastic bends and buckles as the brutes words distorts a flexing mind,
Days pass and the dummy child goes to school.

A dummy listens but has no life of its own,
No words, works or wants,
No defence.

School boys laughs at the dummy child,
But the dummy has nothing to return.

Dummy boy leaves school,
Scared, scarred, plastic head stretched like elastic,
Tragic.

A dummy site in a window,
The object of passing eyes and self customised to court attention.
Plastic fool throws himself to the crowd and the whims of those who see his flaws.

One-click shopping,
instant payment –  
so convenient;
so ******* easy
to cross over
from being a shopper
to a low-key hoarder.

I don’t buy expensive stuff.
No, nothing excessive.

Just read about a new book,
must-read of the season,
rave reviews on Goodreads.
Available on Amazon?
Yes, it also has a Kindle version.
(See,
even though there is no comparison
between the warmth of a paperback
and the cool efficiency of e-books,
I prefer my Kindle simply because  
it’s easier to carry multiple books.)
So I click – buy – get it.
Now it sits
in merry company  
of all the books I bought
so ******* conveniently
while I keep rereading the books
I’ve already read.  

Don’t get me started  
on my obsession with stationery.
Is there any feeling better
than writing on blank paper?
Seeing your busy thoughts
fall in neat lines,
march in formation,
until they reveal the idea underneath.
I keep browsing through the section
of notebooks, journals, diaries,
pencils, pens – oh, there are so many kinds!
I click – buy – get it.
A moment of ecstasy
when the I get the delivery
even though I mostly jot down
any sudden flash of inspiration  
on my phone because it’s always handy.

Getting bigger?  
Get larger jeans.
No need to stand trial  
before judgemental eyes
of the “helpful” salesperson.
Sidestep the self-esteem crisis,
just click – buy – get it.
Easy return policy;
quick refund if it does not fit.

Idly scrolling on social media
and I’m bombarded
with some choice targeted marketing.
How can I refuse
such a customised bait?
Hook, line, click on the link –
there – it’s not that expensive,
nothing too excessive.
I’ll buy that yellow dress,
those cute strappy sandals,
the quirky socks,
ooh a new mascara!
Wear the dress once and chuck it aside,
then go back to cycle the same five outfits.
Put on the mascara,
bat my eyes in jubilation,
then banish it to the drawer
because it gets on my contacts
and causes irritation.

I can go on and on and wax poetic
about the wonders of window-shopping
from the comfort of my couch.
I swear it’s such a great feeling
coming home to find my package waiting.

Shoot your gun on 05.40,
then it will says:
"Happy 1/4 of Century"
to you.

Open the book,
& I wrote "Serenity Prayer" to you.
Godspeed, man!
take it as your guidance, as your life shelter.
as God will always be with you.

Big balloons of 25 will be waiting for you in your room,
while your Mom talks to you,
I will inflate it,
pick up your Strawberry Cheesecake &
your gift.

Nothing special really,
I give you customised embroidery art of
"Aquila" Constellation.
& Dylan Blue, as you want me to pick up a perfume for you.
So, Versace it is.

I never really thought,
there would be another project.
But pardon me & my brain, they keep rambling about ideas
& I cannot stop myself from doing all of these things.

This is not just for you.
but also, this one is really for me.

XOXO,

only ignorant fools fall under the pressure of their friends boots and find themselves  customised to the ways of ill minded and stupid, yet only they know the workings and non workings of their mind to change these ways into better ones than they have been pushed into
/ ignorance /
-m

Bread seeking stomachs,
Half conmen, half charlatans,
Gluttonous holes in round faces
They are the gods of men;

Monarchs in the temple of deception,
Riding on the backs of simpletons,
Rasing the dead from the living,
Tormenting treasuries out of empty purses;

Jerry curled hair and fancy suits,
Luxury boats and four wheeled drives,
Mansions in reserved areas,
Super jets customised for tireless pleasure;

They ***** false altars,
Imprison the weak,
And confound wisdom,
With diabolical manipulation;

Many generations fettered,
By spiritual delusions,
Will take many more,
To free the much incarcerated.

I have been clueless
for so many years
what do I even want to do
I really don't know.
It is my very own
customised black hole.
Somebody
Something
please get me out of here.

you are true beauty
to me
tiny glints
of amber fire
in your forest floor eyes
your generous
full lipped mouth
customised
for all my kisses
perfectly made
to kiss all of me
your errant eyebrows
misbehaving daily
their cheeky allure
endears my lips
to lovingly
chastise them
mostly
though
it is how
beauty radiates
from the way
you communicate love
it floors me
renders me trembled
at the knee
breathless
and flush cheeked
you are to me
golden warm light
exuding joy
when you speak to me
whispering my name
uttering words of love
and devotion
softly growled
against my mouth
my entire being
harmonizes
as one
with the vibration
of you.

© J.C.

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