How to decode
My own intricate being
While I'm stuck in a nonsensical cycle?

I feel my mundanity
Getting the best of me
Convicing me
That my words do not sound
As good as it is, in my head

'It is worthless' they said.

I gave him money,
I gave him a mansion,
I gave him his favourite spirits
An endearment
Mark smiled,
As if contented

I gave him Armis scent,
An island in his name.
Mark with a sly minute,
He whispered,
"I don't think your the one for me".

Now I wonder
How will he be convinced?

Sometimes
He adores me,
I forget
What he said before.

So I buy him a wagon
Cute thing
He says..
Eventually,
He accepts me.

After two weeks
Silence
Like an extinct creature of earth

I vow ; never again
Lesson learned
He shows up with bouquet of pink and white,
Single word ;sorry

I give in.

Surely, I am not sane
I can never be without him

One week adoration
The next
his existence
Fades.