I walked the lonely mountain Eyrian path,
To the chasm beyond the hills.
In that deep wretched dark I could find him at last,
I know the Devil dwells there still.

I marched through boulders and sharply jagged rocks,
I went down twixt walls of stone.
It seems in seeking the key I’d found the lock,
I first noticed I was alone…

I expected He’d be ringed in brimstone and fire,
To roar and imbue men with fear.
Epiphany thwarted my hell-bound desires;
The Devil had always been here.

There as I stood in the chasm alone,
I found what I knew to be true,
Realization wracked me to the bone,
Hell is to be without you.

Broken dreams ride the street
Where night's light meets
The high life's beat
Life stripped of pursuit
A pursuitless life
In the driver's seat
A weak tasteless defeat
Eyes front but not looking forward
Inherent unhappiness
Chronical boredom
Radio stations playing away all the hatred and pain
Beautifull clothes to hide all the wounds
In the rain
Soothing soap and warm water to wash away the bruises and stains
Act as if we got nothing to do with this place
Why can't we choose what to say?
Why do we move at your pace?
Why do we do what you tell us to do you yet we move with this weight
What if we lose all this weight?
What if we lose all our hate?
What if we show all our pain?
What if we shed from our clothes
And show all these bruises and stains?
Then what will you do when all we do is yell change?

He
Its like she give my heart an incision wit no precision n trip. I swear this girl be trippin wit no permission slip

She
He has me falling all over myself just one look and i can barely control myself ,, why is he speaking about permission when all this was written long ago

HE
It might have been written long ago in the history books. But now she sittin in a page of my mystery books. i guess kanye was right and it all falls down. Cuz she fell off the Smoove throne but i aint take away the crown


She
Now its war...why is he lying, it was he who had me crying and now i'm so over caring, you can have your fake crown and feel like a man...i just want my heart back before the hole in it gets any bigger,, this heart used to beat, it used to sing such a beautiful song but now it screams ****** and boy did you do the crime

HE
Fake crown or not you were my queen. I bowed down to your love cuz it was stronger than me. I would have given up kingdomes and gold for just one kiss. Leavin you would be suicide like skitting my wrist. But now you left me and i hate you but its u i always miss. But now the beat of my heart is elongated. But what ever happened no we gon make it. You got me cut so deep no knife no sword. Took my heart like kanye took taylors award. You said You'd **** for me thats how bad you wanna ride. But you end up killin me without a homicide


She
I guess my love was too much for your fragile heart to handle because you give up so quick kanye didn't even have a chance, i wish we had a fight or if someone else in the picture cause then i could understand why you stabbed me in the back when i was to busy only looking at you, its alright i'm okay finally sick of all your many changing faces, your true colors are out for me, now i never want to see you again, these lips you can never taste again, i'm done with this hating myself for something that's in the past, its funny now that i'm gone you keep saying i'm the who took your heart away when i never really had to begin with maybe beyonce has it now i don't care cause all this is so yesterday

He
You say its so yesterday. But why do i see myself hurtin till tomorrow. The pain and the sorrow. I gave you ma heart and you threw it back like it was it was somethin to borrow. Funny i didn't i looked a library. I wasn't obsessed wit you aint maria carey. you say i gave my heart to beyonce but your irreplaceable. You can only love once i thought you were misplaceable. But now your lost like the tv show and untraceable. Everything wit you made sense but now im so illogical, our love was higher than any level we was astronomical. I was deep inside you spiritual biological. Deeper than your follicle. There will never be another no sequel no chronical. At least your hearts beatin. Mine wont stop bleedin. Without you i'm like asthma. No breathin. How am i supposed to survive. Plz come back to me i wanna stay alive. For your lovin i thrive. Your sweet and beautiful like a bee hive. so please come back i deserve a second chance. And i promise the level our love will enhance

She
But you don't see that this over for me i can't keep throwing myself at your feet begging you to catch me, i'm like a fish out of water i can't survive in your world, when i think back on how good we use to be i literally shake, the way i used to melt whenever i hear your name, the way my knees used to go weak, how i used to see the sun,stars and the moon in your eyes,you were a monster on my back, a drug i couldn't turn down, an addiction that rotted my soul but..now all that keeps playing in my head like motion picture,everything we've been through and everything about you seemed to a big lie, a lie you made yourself see true, where the hell was i when you loved me like you say you do, i only remember all those broken promises, all those times you chose your career over me, when all you cared about was the money, the cars, the clothes and the ***'s, i suppose you want me to believe you once again, wait for your calls again like a silly lost pigeon but i won't cause i can't..not anymore

content warning, body horror :3
note that this poem was written a year back

I hope you find your solace.

it's almost
ethereal
how I feel
no sensation
in my legs in my arms in my
dragging myself along the gravely, gritty sand, rubbing against blister and bruise, breaking open and closing as tides of pus and dune, day and night, as the waves and troughs of a tsunami, the gravely, gritty feeling in my throat, dehydrated, solace, oasis in sight? delirious, I can't tell mirage from reality, the lines are blurred and I can't see my hands, my hands, where are my hands? they're gone, who replaced my grippers with stumps, I'm not a tree, I'm not an animal, you can't chop me up and harvest my parts and please, spare me, spare me of the pain, pain, it hurts, can I drink blood? can I fuel myself with my own fluids leaking out of my servered flesh, exposed wiring and casings, a red, moist piñata with no candy inside, just a damp rag, smearing over the floor, creating a maroon, crimson coat lane line, can I find solace fueling myself with my blood? can I be a parasite onto myself, can I be a leech that drinks my own blood? can I, can I, can I find oasis? can I find rest, rest these bones, bones exposed to open air, it hurts, hurts doesn't even begin to describe how I'm feeling right now, I'm bleeding out and starving of thirst, thirst for rest, for oasis, for let the dead rest in peace, leave me alone, these dunes are my grave, my grace, my tomb of sandstone and perhaps the sands will shift and I'll be laid to rest, engulfed by the moving hills of the living desert. Is this solace? Will you remember

me?

will you chronicle this crawl, this forward breaststroke through the sand? chronical pain follows me, will you detail how I feel or skim over my pain, you aren't me, you don't know the sensation of sandpaper on soft skin, blasting against me, my empty, bony chest, my, my, my soul, will my soul find solace? will I rest in peace? am I on the final stretch, the last pitch? is this the crux, the wall stopping me from resting? is this the dam that blocks my swim forward? is this my grave?

Is this my solace?
Is this my redemption?

My skin, parchless parchment, saltbed, yellowed pages, stiffer then an old tyre, tired, ready to break like bare birch bark, buried bones, brittler then sandstone on suntanned plastic, the layers of fat and meat stacked like a strawberry creme layer cake, dried like chinese roast pork belly, chewy like slow-smoked beef jerky, stiff like expired instant ramen, brittle as peppermint-ginger bark, as hungry, starving, can I cannibalize myself if it keeps me alive? Am I a creature only staying alive for nourishment? Am I another human with no sense of morals or judgement? Am I another suffering soul stuck in a predicament that I can't repent, preventational measures don't have an effect, stuck in a forward crawl with no end in sight, is this the crossing of the Atlantic on only human hands? Is this the crossroads that reinvents the hard work and events that plague my descent? Oasis in sight, the lights get brighter, this struggle is nigh, the final pitch of cliff.

Is this my solace?
Is this my final feast?

Are my eyes tricking me? Are my goals, my dreams, are my needs and wants all a trick of the light, a mirage and nothing more? Is this momentum a stampede for nothing, nothing at all and nothing in particular, are there only shadows and slivers of meaning in the mound of dirt I call my ambition, the nameless but nothing, none? Is the pit that we burn our money in? is this the

sun seething, scratching at surfaces too
burns, breathing seems too hard to
see things, nothing clear anymore, blue
skies teething at my mind, loose
rock and needles stabbing my youth
see me, yelling at the earth, how pathetic it must hurt,
war crimes can't spare a dime, low-ball a nickel for some time
solace something, stillwater surface ripples
TRAN-