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howard brace Feb 2012
Inconspicuous, his presence noted only by the obscurity and the ever growing number of spent cigarette stubs that littered the ground.  It had been a long day and the rain, relentless in its tenacity had little intention of stopping, baleful clouds still  hung heavy, dominating the lateness of the afternoon sky, a rain laden skyline broken only by smoke filled chimney pots and the tangled snarl of corroded television aerials.

     The once busy street was fast emptying now, the lure of shop windows no longer enticed the casual browser as local traders closed their premises to the oncoming night, solitary lampposts curved hazily into the distance, casting little more than insipid pools mirrored in the gutter below, only the occasional stranger scurrying home on a bleak, rain swept afternoon, the hurried slap of wet leather soles on the pavement, the sightless umbrellas, the infrequent rumble of a half filled bus, hell-bent on its way to oblivion.

     In the near distance as the working day ended, a sudden emergence of factory workers told Beamish it was 5-o'clock, most would be hurrying home to a hot meal, while others, for a quick drink perhaps before making the same old sorry excuse... for Jack, the greasy spoon would be closing about now, denying him the comfort of a badly needed cuppa' and stale cheese sandwich.  A subtle legacy of lunchtime fish and chips still lingered in the air, Jack's stomach rumbled, there was little chance of a fish supper for Beamish tonight, it protested again... louder.

     From beneath the eaves of the building opposite several pigeons broke cover, startled by the rattle as a shopkeeper struggled to close the canvas awning above his shop window.  Narrowly missing Beamish they flew anxiously over the rooftops, memories of the blitz sprang to mind as Jack stepped smartly to one side, he stamped his feet... it dashed a little of the weather from his raincoat, just as the rain dashed a little of the pigeons' anxiety from the pavement... the day couldn't get much worse if it tried.  Shielding his face, Jack struck the Ronson one more time and cupped the freshly lit cigarette between his hands, it was the only source of heat to be had that day... and still it rained.

     'By Appointment to Certain Personages...' the letter heading rang out loudly... 'Jack Beamish ~ Private Investigator...' a throat choking mouthful by any stretch of the imagination, thought Jack and shot every vestige of credulity plummeting straight through the office window and amidst a fanfare of trumpet voluntary, nominate itself for a prodigious award in the New Year Honours list.   Having formally served in a professional capacity for a well known purveyor of pickled condiments, who  incidentally, brandished the same patronage emblazoned upon their extensive range of relish as the one Jack had more recently purloined from them... a paid commission no less, which by Jack's certain understanding had made him, albeit fleeting in nature, a professional consultant of said company... and consequently, if they could flaunt the auspicious emblem, then according to Jack's infallible logic, so could Jack.  

     The recently appropriated letterhead possessed certain distinction... in much the same way, Jack reasoned, that a blank piece of paper did not... and whereas correspondence bearing the heading 'By Appointment' may not exactly strike terror into the hearts of man... unlike a really strong pickled onion, it nevertheless made people think twice before playing him for the fool, which sadly, Jack had to concede, they still invariably did... and he would often catch them wagging an accusing finger or two in his direction with such platitudes as... "watch where you put your foot", they'd whisper, "that Jack's a right Shamus...", and when you'd misplaced your footing as many times as Jack had, then he reasoned, that by default the celebrated Shamus must have landed himself in more piles of indiscretion than he would readily care to admit, but that wouldn't be quite accurate either, in Jack's line of work it was the malefactor that actually dropped him in them more often than not.

     A cold shiver suddenly ran down his spine, another quickly followed as a spurt of icy water from a broken rain spout spattered across the back of his neck, he grimaced... Jack's expression spoke volumes as he took one final pull from his half soaked cigarette and flicked it, amid an eruption of sparks against the adjacent brick wall.  Sinking further into the shadow he tipped his fedora against the oncoming rain, then, digging both hands deep within his pockets, he huddled behind the upturned collar of his gabardine... watching.

     It was times such as these when Jack's mind would slip back, in much the same way you might slip back on a discarded banana peel, when a matter of some consequence, or in particular this case the pavement, would suddenly leap up from behind and give the back of Jack's head a resoundingly good slapping and tell him to "stop loafing around in office hours... or else", then drag him, albeit kicking and screaming back into the 20th century.  This intellectual assault and battery re-focused Jack's mind wonderfully as he whiled away the long weary hours until his next cigarette; cup of tea, or the last bus home, his capacity to endure such mind boggling tedium called for nothing less than sheer ******-mindedness and very little else... Beamish had long suspected that he possessed all the necessary qualifications.  

     Jack had come a long way since the early days, it had been a long haul but he'd finally arrived there in the end... and managed to pick up quite a few ***** looks along the way.  Whilst he was with the Police Constabulary... and it was only fair to stress the word 'with', as opposed to the word 'in'... although the more Jack considered, he had been 'with' the arresting officer, held 'in' the local Bridewell... detained at Her Majesties pleasure while assisting the boys in blue with their enquiries over a minor infringement of some local by-law that currently had quite slipped his mind at that moment.  Throughout this enforced leisure period he'd managed to read the entire abridged editions of Kilroy and other expansive works of graffiti exhibited in what passed locally as the next best thing to the Tate Gallery, whereupon it hadn't taken Jack very long to realise that it was always a good place to start if you wanted free breakfast, in fact the weeks bill of fare was tastefully displayed in vivid, polychromatic colour on the wall opposite... you just had to be au-fait with braille.
                            
     No matter how industrious Beamish laboured to rake the dirt there always appeared to be a dire shortage of gullible clients for Jack to squeeze, what would roughly translate as an honest crust out of, and although his financial retainer was highly competitive he understood that potential clients found it bewildering when grappling with the unplumbed depths of his monthly expense account, which would tend to fluctuate with the same unpredictability as the British weather, the rest of Jack's agenda revolved around a little shady moonlighting... in fact he'd happily consider anything to offset the remotest possibility of financial delinquency... short of extortion... which by the strangest twist was the very word prospective clients would cry while Jack beavered around the office with dust-pan and brush sweeping any concerns they may have had frantically under the carpet regarding all culpability of his extra-curricular monthly stipend... and they should remain assured at all times... as they dug deep and fished for their cheque books, and simply look upon it as kneading dough, which eerily enough was exactly the thick wedge of buttered granary that Jack had every intention of carving.

     Were there ever the slightest possibility that a day could be so utterly wretched, then today was that day, Jack felt a certain empathy as he merged with his surroundings... at one with nature as it were.  The rain, a timpani on the metal dustbin lids, by the side of which Beamish had taken up vigil, also taking up vigil and in search of a morsel was the stray mongrel, this was the third time now that he'd returned, the same apprehensive wag, yet still the same hopeful look of expectation in his eyes, a brief but friendly companion who paid more attention to Jack's left trouser leg than anything that could be had from nosing around the dustbins that day... some days you're the dog, scowled Beamish as he shook his trouser leg... and some days the lamppost, Jack's foot swung out playfully, keeping his new friend's incontinence at a safe distance, feigning indignance  the scruffy mongrel shook himself defiantly from nose to tail, a distinct odour of wet dog filled the air as an abundance of spent rainwater flew in all directions.   Pricking one ear he looked accusingly at Jack before turning and snuffled off, his nose resolutely to the pavement and diligently, picking out the few diluted scents still remaining, the poor little stalwart renewed its search for scraps, or making his way perhaps to some dry seclusion known only to itself.
  
     Two hours later and... SPLOSH, a puddle poured itself through the front door of the nearest Public House... SPLOSH, the puddle squelched over to the payphone... SPLOSH, then, fumbling for small change dialled and pressed button 'A'..., then button 'B'... then started all over again amid a flurry of precipitation... SPLASH.  The puddle floundered to the bar and ordered itself a drink, then ebbed back to the payphone again... the local taxi company doggedly refused to answer... finally, wallowing over to the window the puddle drifted up against a warm radiator amidst a cloud of humidity and came to rest... flotsam, cast upon the shore of contentment, the puddle sighed contentedly... the Landlady watched this anomaly... suspiciously.

     The puddle's finely tuned perception soon got to grips with the unhurried banter and muffled gossip drifting along the bar, having little else to loose, other than what could still be wrung from his clothing... Beamish, working on the principle that a little eavesdropping was his stock-in-trade engaged instinct into overdrive and casually rippled in their general direction...  They were clearly regulars by the way one of them belched in a well rehearsed, taken-a-back sort of way as Jack took stock of the situation and was now at some pains to ingratiate himself into their exclusive midst and attempt several friendly, yet relevant questions pertinent to his enquiries... all of which were skillfully deflected with more than friendly, yet totally irrelevant answers pertinent to theirs'... and would Jack care for a game of dominoes', they enquired... if so, would he be good enough to pay the refundable deposit, as by common consent it just so happened to be his turn...  Jack graciously declined this generous offer, as the obliging Landlady, just as graciously, cancelled the one shilling returnable deposit from the cash register, such was the flow of light conversation that evening... they didn't call him Lucky Jack for nothing... discouraged, Beamish turned back to the bar and reached for his glass... to which one of his recent companions, and yet again just as graciously, had taken the trouble to drink for him... the Landlady gave Jack a knowing look, Beamish returned the heartfelt sentiment and ordered one more pint.

     From the licenced premises opposite, a myriad of jostling customers plied through the door, business was picking up... the sudden influx of punters rapidly persuaded Beamish to retire from the bar and find a vacant table.  Sitting, he removed several discarded crisp packets from the centre of the table only to discover a freshly vacated ashtray below... by sleight of hand Jack's Ronson appeared... as he lit the cigarette the fragile smoke curled blue as it rose... influenced by subtle caprice, it joined others and formed a horizontal curtain dividing the room, a delicate, undulating layer held between two conflicting forces.

     The possibility of a free drink soon attracted the attention of a local bar fly, who, hovering in the near vicinity promptly landed in Jack's beer, Beamish declined this generous offer as being far too nutritious and with the corner of yesterdays beer mat, flipped the offending organism from the top of his glass, carefully inspecting his drink for debris as he did so.

     A sudden draught and clip of stiletto heels as the side door opened caused Beamish to turn as a double shadow slipped discreetly into the friendly Snug... a little adulterous intimacy on an otherwise cheerless evening.  The faceless man, concealed beneath a fedora and the upturned collar of his overcoat, the surreptitious lady friend, decked out in damp cony, cheap perfume and a surfeit of bling proclaimed a not too infrequent assignation, he'd seen it all before... the over attentive manner and the band of white, Sun-starved skin recently hidden behind a now absent wedding token, ordinarily it was the sort of assignment Jack didn't much care for... the discreet tail, the candid snapshot through half drawn curtains... and the all too familiar steak tartare... for the all too familiar black eye.

     To the untrained eye, the prospect of Jack's long anticipated supper was rapidly dwindling, when it suddenly focused with renewed vigour upon the contents of a pickled egg jar he'd observed earlier that evening, lurking on the back counter, his enthusiasm swiftly diminished however as the belching customer procured the final two specimens from the jar and proceeded to demolish them.  Who, Jack reflected, after being stood out in the rain all day, had egg all over his face now... and who, he reflected deeper, still had an empty stomach.  Disillusioned, Jack tipped back his glass and considered a further sortie with the taxicab company.

     "FIVE-BOB"!!! Jack screamed... you could have shredded the air with a cheese grater... hurtling into the kerb like a fairground attraction came flying past the chequered flag at a record breaking 99 in Jack's top 100 most not wanted list of things to do that day... and that the cabby should think himself fortunate they weren't both stretched flat on a marble slab, "exploding tyres" Jack spluttered, dribbling down his chin, were enough to give anyone a coronary... further broadsides of neurotic ambiance filled the cab as the driver, miffed at the prospect of missing snooker night out with the lads, considered charging extra for the additional space Jack's profanity was taking...

     And what part of 'Drive-Carefully', fumed Beamish, did the cabby simply not understand, that pavements were there to be bypassed, 'Nay Circumvented', preferably on the left... and not veered into, wildly on the front axle... an eerie premonition of 'jemais-vu' perched and ready to strike like a disembodied Jiminy Cricket on Jack's left shoulder, looking to stick its own two-penny worth in at the 'Standing-Room-Only' arrangements in the overcrowded cab... and at what further point, Jack shrieked, eyes leaping from his head as he lurched forward, shaking his fist through the sliding glass partition, had the cabbie failed to grasp the importance of the word 'Steering-Wheel...' someone wanted horse whipping, and as far as Beamish was concerned the sole contender was the cab driver...

     In having a somewhat sedate and unruffled disposition it had fallen to Beamish... as befalls all great leaders in times of adversity, to single handedly take the bull by the horns, so to speak and at great personal cost, alert the unwary passing motorist...  Waving his arms about like a man possessed whilst performing acrobatic evolutions in the centre of the road as the cabby changed the wheel came whizzing around the corner at a back breaking 98 on Jack's ever growing list... and why, Jack puzzled, why had they all lowered their side windows and gestured back at him in semaphore..?  Rallying to its aid, Jack's head and shoulders now joined his shaking fist through the sliding glass partition and into the cabby's face, "Who" Beamish screeched with renewed vigour ,"Who Was The Man", Jack wanted to know... *"a
Steve Collins Aug 2010
If I travelled, across the landscape of my mind,
And, I chose to take you with me – guess what you might find?

I’d talk you into many things,
I’d make you see the sea.

We would buy some wood
Pay by cheque, which you would check
And build an arc upon an ark.
And you’d, set sail with me!

Whether we had the weather or not
We’d sail a week, and you’d feel so weak
You’ll beg me for dry land!

And so, we’d end the feat on our two feet
And, tow; toe-to toe.
Until ashore, we land.

We’d shout aloud, if that’s allowed?
To see if we’re alone?
We’d find we are and start to panic
But get woken by the phone.



Steve Collins.
24/8/10
Homophones are words that sound the same but are not spelt the same.
Thought I'd try something, it was not easy.
Lewis Hyden Nov 2018
"Getting sick of married life?
Tired of your ageing wife?
Well, you can create her face anew
With plastic skin and pink tissue!"

"Yes, in only three short days,
She'll be worthy of your praise.
Just send a cheque to this address
And trust us, friend, we'll sort the rest!"

The bill-boards scream in the night
As wolves in the canopy.
Like lasers, they seethe and cut
Through the diamonds of your wet eyes,
Convincing you all too soon that
You are not already perfect.
A poem about impossible standards.
#4 in the Distant Dystopia anthology.

© Lewis Hyden, 2018
howard brace Sep 2012
He'd been hanging around for some time now, indeed... he'd become rather proficient in that direction of late and although it would probably be rude to point, you could hardly accuse him of loitering... and certainly not with intent, which would have been of some considerable comfort to Norman's Mother, given his current situation, particularly since the latest complication in his otherwise dull and uneventful life, had left him predisposed towards looking a little more drawn in the face than was usual for the time of year and a decidedly deeper shade of green.

     Barely discernible, only the deeper scars now remained to  mar the roadside foliage, bearing scant witness to the motorcycle's recent and untimely misadventure... regrettably with Norman still mounted astride.  Having lost all adhesion with the freshly resurfaced country lane the motorcycle had promptly slewed sideways and across the wet grassy verge before plunging down the wooded embankment, there to encounter its own humbling demise and land in the shallow watercourse below, but it was still early Summer and already the verdant undergrowth had begun to recover.

     At the point where his motorcycle, having determined without deviation or interruption to take the most direct route to its final resting place below and follow the downwardly allure of gravity... Norman being somewhat lighter and more aerodynamic than the former had been propelled, amid a flurry of leaves and twigs headlong through the outermost branches of the nearest tree... and promptly snapped his neck... Far below a dog-eared circular proclaimed 'kidz do it better on wheelz'!!!

       In many ways it was the most handsome beech tree you could ever wish to lay eyes upon, majestic in stature and albeit stationary in nature, was full of life, contrary to its uninvited guest who decidedly was not... but who definitely was just as static as the beech tree... and which by any stretch of the imagination had far more right to be there than Norman did.
  
     The sudden and unforeseen turn of events of the previous forty eight hours had cast grievous, Holiday nullifying inevitability directly into the path of any plans Norman may have prematurely made in that direction... and for the moment at least to be left hanging high and dry in the lush, verdant canopy far above his motorcycle, currently languishing in the sparkling clear waters below... and it has to be said, without so much as a pair of galoshes between them, and having little else to do other than hang around nodding his head in the warm Summer breeze he swayed gently up and down in the light country air.

     Pausing mid-twitch on three legs between Norman's deceased neck and his equally demised shoulders, an inquisitive squirrel was now the prime mover in our eponymous hero's sudden and discontinued modus-operandi as it provoked involuntary nods from Normans head, gestures of consent as the prying rodent set itself to investigate in great detail the darkest, innermost depths of Norman's inside breast pocket.

     Norman's unintentional leave of absence had finally extinguished once and for all any further thought of future remittance towards the outstanding balance due on the motorcycle hire purchase agreement, which as luck would have it was just as well, because his equally unintended leave of absence, so it transpired, had also extinguished Norman... and thereby deprived him once and for all of any further thought of his outstanding ability to pay them or indeed, any further thought at all.

     The squirrel meanwhile, having brushed aside the meagre contents of Normans pocket finally emerged victorious into the subdued light of the dappled canopy, brandishing a hard won paper-tissue proudly clenched between its teeth... before moving on to other, far more pressing matters on the branch opposite... then paused to scratch its ear...  Now it may be of some interest to the reader at this point... or not, as the case may be, but the squirrel allegedly knew a friend of a friend, who incidentally runs the little B&B; further down the road and who would be prepared to swear on Norman's other-worldly life that she'd seen far worse looking faces peering back from the bathroom cabinet mirror of a Sunday morning after a ***** night out with the lads... than anything she could ever possibly imagine exercising squatters rights way above in the majestic beech tree.

     Flies seemed to be one of the few living creatures that morning who hadn't raised any objection to Norman's ill-mannered intrusion... indeed, were currently hatching plans of their own in that particular direction and take intimacy to the next level with regard to lunchtime seating arrangements... and who had assured him from day one, that while their long term prognosis for Norman attaining ***** and independent posture was by no means cut-and-dried, he should nevertheless be moving about, not necessarily under his own steam in no time at all... and by the look of his complexion, it would seem that in the interim period he should be thankful for the company.

     As the balmy Summer afternoon steadily drew to its own happy conclusion Norman, without a care in the world and now in the early larval stage of being in the family way, so to speak and shortly to shed a little life of his own... stared vacantly out at what had recently become his own neck of the woods, rapidly becoming a permanent fixture in the pastoral landscape... and while his sudden relocation may have been a real eye opener for some, for Norman he'd discovered the true meaning of be at one with nature, about the birds and the bees and especially the flies in the trees...  

     So there we must leave poor Norman with his recent and enduring affliction, nodding in the dappled shade of the majestic beech tree, playing host to the countryside and the following seasons crop rotation, leaving his Mum to worry as to whether her Son had fresh underwear that morning... or not as the case may be... the County Constabulary making their door to door enquiries as to Norman's current whereabouts... his former employer re-adjusting next months pay cheque... accordingly and the hire purchase company about to dispatch final demands indiscriminately left, right and centre for financial delinquency.  The only other claim you could probably make with any degree of certainty was that Norman's full-face motorcycle helmet had by no means achieved that which was expected of it for his ultimate well-being that day... and was doing little more than keep his hair dry and his spectacles from slipping further than his chin.
                                                           ­  ­                                                                ­ ­                                                                ­ ­             ...   ...   ...**

A work in progress.                                                        ­                                                     1122
Styles May 2014
Love Making;***.
Text me;  
****!
You are;
next!
Bend backwards;
cheque!
Lips, tongue:
peck!
Take your;
breath!
It's no;  
sweat!
******* your;  
breast!
Touching your;
pet!
Like Imma;
vet.
Kissing your;
neck!
**** Toes?
yep!
Want Sum?
yes!
Mind blown;
trek!
We just;
met!
Can't ***;
bet!
Toes Curled;
check!
One big;
speck!
Bed Sheets;
wet!
Lost your;
bet!
Love Making;***.
judy smith Aug 2015
Since a wedding is said to be the most important day of a woman's life, some brides-to-be are prepared to bring out whatever it takes to ensure that their big day is nothing short of spectacular.

A new documentary from the UK titled 'Now How The Rich Get Hitched', a provides a glimpse into some of the world's most lavish weddings.

The programme follows the glamorous goings-on at Knightsbridge bespoke wedding boutique Caroline Castigliano, where, for most customers, money is no object.

According to Daily Mail, bridal couture queen Caroline, who lives in Surrey, has been creating breathtaking intricate gowns for 24 years, cashing in on the £10 billion global bridal market.

But while the average UK bride is said to spend around £1,000 on her dress, Caroline revealed that one client, a Saudi Arabian bride-to-be is spending £40,000 on her dream gown - the same price as the Duchess of Cambridge's Alexander McQueen dress.

Despite the eye-watering prices, the 55-year-old designer claims that for most women this is one of the most important things they will ever buy.

She said: 'They buy into the overall power of the dress. I really truly believe that since they were very young they have dreamt of this day.'

Caroline's clientele aren't just drawn from the global elite, however. One of her clients, Jordan, 23, is a hotel heiress from Durham who has spent the past year travelling 300 miles with her family for fittings for her £9,000 dress.

Jordan's gown is made from one of the most expensive silks in the world, which costs hundreds of pounds a metre.

Jordan said: 'For a girl the dress is what everyone looks for. People would rather spend more money on the dress and look perfect on the day.'

Her mother Helen, who is helping to pick up the bill, added: 'I think once you see your daughter in something so beautiful and she's so happy you do stretch that extra mile.'

At around £9,000 Jordan's dress is almost half the average budget for UK weddings, which now comes in at an astonishing £21,000, but the day itself will set her family back far more than that.

The no-expenses-spared bash is being held at one of her family's hotels and costs include the £7,000 on importing 6,000 flowers from Holland, the hire of a 20-piece brass band and a Victorian carousel to entertain guests.

Gissa, 29, an Iranian socialite, who is planning a lavish ceremony in Turkey, journeyed to Caroline's boutique just to try on veils to go with her bespoke gown, which is embroidered with 200,000 sequins and 50,000 beads - and was one of the most expensive dresses in the shop.

The bride-to-be explained that her fiance was very amenable when it came to splashing out on her dress.

He said "I know this is the most important dress that a woman is going to wear in their lifetime so if you really like it and you love it, we'll get it."'

However, some brides look further afield for their dream wedding location and one of the boutique's clients, Katie, 29, was planning her ceremony in Southern Spain.

Katie admitted that she had fine-tuned every element of her wedding right down to her proposal.

She said: 'I'm a bit of a control freak, I think I emailed [my fiance] a picture of the ring after about three weeks of dating, so subtlety isn't my finest point but he's done really well.'

Katie visited Caroline for a bespoke wedding dress costing between five and six thousand pounds that has taken five seamstresses 200 hours of sewing and 250,000 beads to complete.

Another of Caroline's client, Kashmir, revealed that she took two years off work to get married and her husband is now determined to prolong the wedding celebrations with lavish gifts.

She and her husband also paid £75,000 to commission a portrait of Kashmir sitting in a chair in her strapless lace Caroline Castigliano dress, which was then unveiled at a party in the designer's boutique.

However, as any prospective bride will know a dress does not a wedding make and any ambitious bride-to-be will enlist the help of a wedding planner, with none more knowledgeable than luxury wedding planner Bruce Russell.

Bruce caters for the most ostentatious and demanding of weddings. He said: 'If it's physically possible, we'll make it happen - it might come at a cost.

'If you've got the money and you've got the budget to spend and you want to spend a million pounds why not spend it on a wedding it is the most magical day?'

Bruce's finely tuned expertise and impeccable taste come at a cost and he revealed on the show that he takes around 20 per cent of the wedding budget as commission, which rewards him with a £30,000 pay cheque for a £150,000 wedding.

The show followed him as he took one of Caroline's clients, Erina, on a tour of London's famous luxury five-star hotel, The Savoy, as a possible venue for her dream day.

Hosting 350 guests would set her back at least £70,000 and to stay in the Royal Suite, a further £10,000 a night - although it does come with its own butler.

But the documentary revealed that for women who want to up the 'wow' factor on their big day - and have the budget - couture jeweller Andrew Prince is the man to call.

But Andrew insisted that elegance is often confused with showiness: 'Glamour has changed. It became, at one point, very shiny and that's really not glamorous that's flashy. I like opulence.'

Andrew's creations may be an indulgence but for him there is no better way to spend your money.

He said: 'It's a celebration. We can be really sort of smug and factual about it, and say "oh no one should spend the money on something more practical", but what's more fun than just having a wonderful day?'

Many couples will argue that such extravagance is a waste of money and resources for just one day, however Caroline says that these are memories to last a lifetime.

She said: 'The most important people in your life have come to attend this day. It all comes down to the same thing, it's what you want to spend money on and what matters to you and how much money you have, it's all relative.'

read more:www.marieaustralia.com/long-formal-dresses

www.marieaustralia.com/formal-dresses-adelaide
A Child’s Story

Hamelin Town’s in Brunswick,
By famous Hanover city;
The river Weser, deep and wide,
Washes its wall on the southern side;
A pleasanter spot you never spied;
But, when begins my ditty,
Almost five hundred years ago,
To see the townsfolk suffer so
From vermin, was a pity.

Rats!
They fought the dogs, and killed the cats,
And bit the babies in the cradles,
And ate the cheeses out of the vats,
And licked the soup from the cook’s own ladles,
Split open the kegs of salted sprats,
Made nests inside men’s Sunday hats,
And even spoiled the women’s chats,
By drowning their speaking
With shrieking and squeaking
In fifty different sharps and flats.

At last the people in a body
To the Town Hall came flocking:
“’Tis clear,” cried they, “our Mayor’s a noddy;
And as for our Corporation—shocking
To think we buy gowns lined with ermine
For dolts that can’t or won’t determine
What’s best to rid us of our vermin!
You hope, because you’re old and obese,
To find in the furry civic robe ease?
Rouse up, Sirs! Give your brains a racking
To find the remedy we’re lacking,
Or, sure as fate, we’ll send you packing!”
At this the Mayor and Corporation
Quaked with a mighty consternation.

An hour they sate in council,
At length the Mayor broke silence:
“For a guilder I’d my ermine gown sell;
I wish I were a mile hence!
It’s easy to bid one rack one’s brain—
I’m sure my poor head aches again
I’ve scratched it so, and all in vain.
Oh for a trap, a trap, a trap!”
Just as he said this, what should hap
At the chamber door but a gentle tap?
“Bless us,” cried the Mayor, “what’s that?”
(With the Corporation as he sat,
Looking little though wondrous fat;
Nor brighter was his eye, nor moister
Than a too-long-opened oyster,
Save when at noon his paunch grew mutinous
For a plate of turtle green and glutinous)
“Only a scraping of shoes on the mat?
Anything like the sound of a rat
Makes my heart go pit-a-pat!”

“Come in!”—the Mayor cried, looking bigger:
And in did come the strangest figure!
His queer long coat from heel to head
Was half of yellow and half of red;
And he himself was tall and thin,
With sharp blue eyes, each like a pin,
And light loose hair, yet swarthy skin,
No tuft on cheek nor beard on chin,
But lips where smiles went out and in—
There was no guessing his kith and kin!
And nobody could enough admire
The tall man and his quaint attire:
Quoth one: “It’s as my great-grandsire,
Starting up at the Trump of Doom’s tone,
Had walked this way from his painted tombstone!”

He advanced to the council-table:
And, “Please your honours,” said he, “I’m able,
By means of a secret charm, to draw
All creatures living beneath the sun,
That creep or swim or fly or run,
After me so as you never saw!
And I chiefly use my charm
On creatures that do people harm,
The mole and toad and newt and viper;
And people call me the Pied Piper.”
(And here they noticed round his neck
A scarf of red and yellow stripe,
To match with his coat of the selfsame cheque;
And at the scarf’s end hung a pipe;
And his fingers, they noticed, were ever straying
As if impatient to be playing
Upon this pipe, as low it dangled
Over his vesture so old-fangled.)
“Yet,” said he, “poor piper as I am,
In Tartary I freed the Cham,
Last June, from his huge swarms of gnats;
I eased in Asia the Nizam
Of a monstrous brood of vampire-bats;
And, as for what your brain bewilders,
If I can rid your town of rats
Will you give me a thousand guilders?”
“One? fifty thousand!”—was the exclamation
Of the astonished Mayor and Corporation.

Into the street the Piper stepped,
Smiling first a little smile,
As if he knew what magic slept
In his quiet pipe the while;
Then, like a musical adept,
To blow the pipe his lips he wrinkled,
And green and blue his sharp eyes twinkled
Like a candle flame where salt is sprinkled;
And ere three shrill notes the pipe uttered,
You heard as if an army muttered;
And the muttering grew to a grumbling;
And the grumbling grew to a mighty rumbling;
And out of the houses the rats came tumbling.
Great rats, small rats, lean rats, brawny rats,
Brown rats, black rats, grey rats, tawny rats,
Grave old plodders, gay young friskers,
Fathers, mothers, uncles, cousins,
Cocking tails and pricking whiskers,
Families by tens and dozens,
Brothers, sisters, husbands, wives—
Followed the Piper for their lives.
From street to street he piped advancing,
And step for step they followed dancing,
Until they came to the river Weser,
Wherein all plunged and perished!
- Save one who, stout a Julius Caesar,
Swam across and lived to carry
(As he, the manuscript he cherished)
To Rat-land home his commentary:
Which was, “At the first shrill notes of the pipe
I heard a sound as of scraping tripe,
And putting apples, wondrous ripe,
Into a cider-press’s gripe:
And a moving away of pickle-tub-boards,
And a leaving ajar of conserve-cupboards,
And a drawing the corks of train-oil-flasks,
And a breaking the hoops of butter-casks;
And it seemed as if a voice
(Sweeter far than by harp or by psaltery
Is breathed) called out ‘Oh, rats, rejoice!
The world is grown to one vast drysaltery!
So munch on, crunch on, take your nuncheon,
Breakfast, supper, dinner, luncheon!’
And just as a bulky sugar-puncheon,
All ready staved, like a great sun shone
Glorious scarce and inch before me,
Just as methought it said ‘Come, bore me!’
- I found the Weser rolling o’er me.”

You should have heard the Hamelin people
Ringing the bells till they rocked the steeple.
“Go,” cried the Mayor, “and get long poles!
Poke out the nests and block up the holes!
Consult with carpenters and builders,
And leave in our town not even a trace
Of the rats!”—when suddenly, up the face
Of the Piper perked in the market-place,
With a, “First, if you please, my thousand guilders!”

A thousand guilders! The Mayor looked blue;
So did the Corporation too.
For council dinners made rare havoc
With Claret, Moselle, Vin-de-Grave, Hock;
And half the money would replenish
Their cellar’s biggest **** with Rhenish.
To pay this sum to a wandering fellow
With a gypsy coat of red and yellow!
“Beside,” quoth the Mayor with a knowing wink,
“Our business was done at the river’s brink;
We saw with our eyes the vermin sink,
And what’s dead can’t come to life, I think.
So, friend, we’re not the folks to shrink
From the duty of giving you something for drink,
And a matter of money to put in your poke;
But, as for the guilders, what we spoke
Of them, as you very well know, was in joke.
Beside, our losses have made us thrifty.
A thousand guilders! Come, take fifty!”

The Piper’s face fell, and he cried
“No trifling! I can’t wait, beside!
I’ve promised to visit by dinner-time
Bagdat, and accept the prime
Of the Head Cook’s pottage, all he’s rich in,
For having left, in the Calip’s kitchen,
Of a nest of scorpions no survivor—
With him I proved no bargain-driver,
With you, don’t think I’ll bate a stiver!
And folks who put me in a passion
May find me pipe to another fashion.”

“How?” cried the Mayor, “d’ye think I’ll brook
Being worse treated than a Cook?
Insulted by a lazy ribald
With idle pipe and vesture piebald?
You threaten us, fellow? Do your worst,
Blow your pipe there till you burst!”

Once more he stepped into the street;
And to his lips again
Laid his long pipe of smooth straight cane;
And ere he blew three notes (such sweet
Soft notes as yet musician’s cunning
Never gave the enraptured air)
There was a rustling, that seemed like a bustling
Of merry crowds justling at pitching and hustling,
Small feet were pattering, wooden shoes clattering,
Little hands clapping and little tongues chattering,
And, like fowls in a farmyard when barley is scattering,
Out came the children running.
All the little boys and girls,
With rosy cheeks and flaxen curls,
And sparkling eyes and teeth like pearls,
Tripping and skipping, ran merrily after
The wonderful music with shouting and laughter.

The Mayor was dumb, and the Council stood
As if they were changed into blocks of wood,
Unable to move a step, or cry
To the children merrily skipping by—
And could only follow with the eye
That joyous crowd at the Piper’s back.
But how the Mayor was on the rack,
And the wretched Council’s bosoms beat,
As the Piper turned from the High Street
To where the Weser rolled its waters
Right in the way of their sons and daughters!
However he turned from South to West,
And to Koppelberg Hill his steps addressed,
And after him the children pressed;
Great was the joy in every breast.
“He never can cross that mighty top!
He’s forced to let the piping drop,
And we shall see our children stop!”
When, lo, as they reached the mountain’s side,
A wondrous portal opened wide,
As if a cavern was suddenly hollowed;
And the Piper advanced and the children followed,
And when all were in to the very last,
The door in the mountain-side shut fast.
Did I say, all? No! One was lame,
And could not dance the whole of the way;
And in after years, if you would blame
His sadness, he was used to say,—
“It’s dull in our town since my playmates left!
I can’t forget that I’m bereft
Of all the pleasant sights they see,
Which the Piper also promised me:
For he led us, he said, to a joyous land,
Joining the town and just at hand,
Where waters gushed and fruit-trees grew,
And flowers put forth a fairer hue,
And everything was strange and new;
The sparrows were brighter than peacocks here,
And their dogs outran our fallow deer,
And honey-bees had lost their stings,
And horses were born with eagles’ wings:
And just as I became assured
My lame foot would be speedily cured,
The music stopped and I stood still,
And found myself outside the Hill,
Left alone against my will,
To go now limping as before,
And never hear of that country more!”

Alas, alas for Hamelin!
There came into many a burgher’s pate
A text which says, that Heaven’s Gate
Opes to the Rich at as easy rate
As the needle’s eye takes a camel in!
The Mayor sent East, West, North, and South,
To offer the Piper, by word of mouth,
Wherever it was men’s lot to find him,
Silver and gold to his heart’s content,
If he’d only return the way he went,
And bring the children behind him.
But when they saw ’twas a lost endeavour,
And Piper and dancers were gone for ever,
They made a decree that lawyers never
Should think their records dated duly
If, after the day of the month and year,
These words did not as well appear,
“And so long after what happened here
On the Twenty-second of July,
Thirteen hundred and seventy-six”:
And the better in memory to fix
The place of the children’s last retreat,
They called it, the Pied Piper’s Street—
Where any one playing on pipe or tabor
Was sure for the future to lose his labour.
Nor suffered they hostelry or tavern
To shock with mirth a street so solemn;
But opposite the place of the cavern
They wrote the story on a column,
And on the great Church-Window painted
The same, to make the world acquainted
How their children were stolen away;
And there it stands to this very day.
And I must not omit to say
That in Transylvania there’s a tribe
Of alien people that ascribe
The outlandish ways and dress
On which their neighbours lay such stress,
To their fathers and mothers having risen
Out of some subterraneous prison
Into which they were trepanned
Long time ago in a mighty band
Out of Hamelin town in Brunswick land,
But how or why, they don’t understand.

So, *****, let you and me be wipers
Of scores out with all men—especially pipers:
And, whether they pipe us free, from rats or from mice,
If we’ve promised them aught, let us keep our promise.
Adellebee Apr 2016
Your life consists of working hard hours, for not enough pay, hard days
Good, great people
But nothingness consoles you at the end of the day
Nothing to live for and nothing to fight for
You have become a waste of space
You don't contribute
You second guess
You

All the time fighting the same battles
Your heart, your tongue, and your liver, your mind set and your waist line
You are so far removed what you wanted ten years ago

Fell into a pattern of pay cheque to pay cheque

Living through decisions and then later, they're regrets

You need a huge change. It is scary, but dockside was the best decision you have ever made

Step outside, from your shredded sheltered comfort zone, and branch out a little more

Do what you always knew you were born to do!

Go take photographs, that mean something

Make your life important again

Not another bottle and not another regret

Do what you want to do!

Go to war, take pictures

Make your life mean something
the realization that you want more
Big Virge Dec 2019
Poor Tony Blair ...
His Job's Been A STRESS ... !!!
  
Well That's A Shame ... !!!
If He Wants Sympathy For Stress He Feels ...
  
He's NOT Just STRESSED He's Going INSANE ... !!!
  
He's Held The Reins For Far Too Long ... !!!!!
If He's Been Through Stress That's Okay Be GONE ... !!!!!!
  
You've Clearly Proved The People WRONG ... !!!
  
You're Stressed And CLEARLY ...  
Far From ........................................................ STRONG ... !!!  
  
Try Wearing Pants NOT George's Thong ... !!!!!
  
You've Been Bought Like Your Army Crews ...
Well Thanks To You STRESS Has Hit The Masses Too ... !!!!!!
  
You've Made Some CRY Into Tissues .....
But Of Course YOU'RE STRESSED ... !!!!?!!!
  
I'm A Bit ... Confused ... ??!?!!!?
  
Your Movie Should Be Ridiculed ... !!!!!
Because It Shows Your ... " Shady Moves " ... !!?!!
  
You've CLEARLY Used A Puppets' Shoes ...
And Dealt In LIES Whilst Shielding ... "Truth" ... !!!
  
I Don't Have Time To Give You Proof ...
Because of Laws You're Passing Through ... !!!
  
YOU SHOULD CONFESS To Giving STRESS ...
To People Who ... Placed Faith In You ... !!!
  
It's My Belief You've Long Deceived ...
Just Like MAGGIE The ... " IRON Lady !!! " ... !!!
  
NEW LABOUR ... ???
Or A NEW TORY ... !?!
  
She Must Be PROUD of What You've Achieved ... !!!
DESTRUCTION of Peace And Unity ... !!!
INCREASING Costs of ... " Energy " ... !!!!
  
Merging Police To Keep The Peace ... !?!  
Because of VIOLENCE On Our Streets ... !!!
  
" Your Stressed Tony ... !!!! "
  
" You're STRESSING ME ... !!!! "

And Placed STRESS On Your OWN Country ... !!!!!
By Following GEORGE ... And His Armies ...
To Places Where You Should NOT Be ... !!!!!!  
  
Right Now Even Fools Can See ...
  
You've Fed Your People ...
...... " FALLACIES " ...... !!!!!!!!!
  
Now We Face Some ROCKY Seas ... !!!
  
EVIL Deeds From EVIL Breeds ...
  
GREED Leading To Poverty ... !!!!!
While You Retire Gracefully .......................
  
Feeling STRESSED ... ?
You Must Do ... " BLESS " ... !!!!!!!
  
Your Pension Fund Must Have MILLIONS ...
And Holiday Homes ... Under The Sun ... !!!!!!
Well Hold On Son I'm NOT Quite Done ... !!!
  
You've Left England To Police With Guns ... !!!
STOPPING Who They Like For FUN ... ??!!!??
  
Blacks Now Face NEW Racism ...
From Policeman ... Holding BIG GUNS ... !!!  
  
With Little Defence From Random Checks ...
Where Incompetence May Leave Some ... " DEAD !!! " ...
  
OKAY ... Nuff said ... !!!!!
What Was Said By Malcolm X ... ?
  
" By Any Means !!! " ...
  
Didn't Think He Meant THEM ... !?!
  
"Tony mate, you don't know stress !!!"
  
When Lawmen HATE ...
The Way You Dress ...
Your ... Darkened Skin ...
The Way Your Hair ...
Grows On Your Head ...
  
Trust Me Tony THAT IS STRESS ... !!!!!
  
You've Got A CHEEK To WASTE Money ...
On Films About YOUR Days of Stress ...
While You Make Pounds ...
You Politicians DO Confound ... !?!?!
  
You Talk of STRESS Within Your Job ...
Well HEAR THIS Gents ... !!!!!
  
...... " Big deal, so what !" ......
  
Join The Club Most Folk Are STRESSED ...
Because of Stuff You've FORCED On Them ... !!!
  
They've Got PROBLEMS ... !!!
Because of Your CORRUPT Systems ... !!!
  
You And Your Friends ... !!!
Those You PROTECT From Punishment  ...
And EXPOSURE On ... " News At Ten  " ... !!!!!
  
Like .... " Blunkett " ....
You Should Simply QUIT ... !!!
  
BEFORE You Get ...
ANOTHER Cheque At OUR Expense ... !!!
  
INCREASING Debt RISING Interest ...
Are NOT The Things That Bring YOU STRESS ... !!!!!

"Ahhh of course they do !" ...
  
I Should of Guessed ... !!!
  
"Bills to pay, Tony I say,
you really should put cash away !
Expense accounts are not  the way,
to pay for all your holidays !"
  
COME ON PEOPLE USE Your BRAINS ... !!!!!
  
Financial Strain Like ... " Tony's Reign " ...
Has Been Arranged For Tony And His Friends To GAIN ... !!!
  
If He's Got STRESS But Rides NO TRAINS ... ?
His Stress Levels Should Be EXPLAINED ... ?!?
  
He Should Refrain From Making Claims ...
That Leadership Has Been A DRAIN ... !!!!!!!!
  
But Of Course Though Folks ...
The Job Has Given Him Rewards ...
  
Well Listen Mr. B ....
NO Applause From ME And NO Awards ...  
And That's ... NO JOKE ... !!!!!
  
How Much Have You Made ... ?
From FRAUDULENT Quotes ... ?!?
And How Many People ...  
Have You Left BROKE ... !?!
  
You've Got A CHEEK To Act As Though ...
Your Work Duties Have ROCKED Your Boat ... ???  
  
Now Listen CLOSE ... !!!
If The Job Was Too Much ...  
I'd of Wrote You A Note ... !!!
  
The Note Would of Said ...
  
"It's time to go,
don't come back to work No Mo' !" ...
  
I'm Sure The U.S. Would Give You A Desk ...
Working With Those Who Run Congress ... !!!
That May Be Where He's Heading Next ... ?!?
  
That's A Move I WOULDN'T Suggest ... !!!
That Might Just Push Some ... OVER The EDGE .... !!!!!!
  
Then Tony Would Know About ...
  
REAL ......

............ " Stress " ........... !!!!!
When I saw the advert for the film, it inspired this !
Funny poems Apr 2014
In London zoo a lion escaped
They forgot to lock his cage
It disappeared into the night
Hungry, filled with rage

Poor old Brian had lost his job
His life had hit the skids
His wife moved in with his mate
She also took his kids

He hit the bottle pretty hard
He started to get ill
His grandma died, he got the call
Turns out she had a will

She had millions in the bank
And she left it all to Brian
But on his way to cash the cheque
He was eaten by a lion.....
Thomas Thurman May 2010
When your creator took her crayon box
That day she thought to draw you all alive,
She found a certain green to sketch your locks,
Another green to show you grow, you thrive;
A green of richest thought unlimited,
A green to match the green of your creation,
A green to go, to boldly forge ahead,
A green for lands of peaceful meditation;
  The Greene King, standing proud with all his queens,
  Jack-in-the-green, surrounded by his trees;
  A thousand other shades of other greens;
  The greenness of the deepness of the seas;
And I, I fall and marvel at the light,
A million greens, like fireworks in the night.

That day she thought to draw you all alive
She drew your outline, sketched you, and refined
And shaped your eyes, that surely saw arrive
The laughing people in the frame behind,
The humans, dogs and kittens, trailing plants,
Who fill your background; all you love are here
Around you in the middle of the dance,
And as you watch, still more of them appear
  Beyond your face within the frame advancing
  Children and relatives and loves and friends
  Holding their merry hands in merry dancing
  Extending off beyond the picture's ends;
I know your other folk would say the same:
It's such an honour dancing in your frame.

She found a certain green to sketch your locks,
A deeper green, a perfect green attaining;
And now another from her crayon-stocks;
Refreshing and repeating what's remaining:
She bleaches it and tries another shade
Then leaves it for a while and grows it out,
Returns it to the colours that she made
Begins to work again, and turns about;
  And why this careful labour to provide you
  With perfect colours captured in your hair?
  She knows your colours mirror what's inside you,
  Eternal greens within you everywhere;
And still beneath, the ever-growing you
Shall dye, and yet shall live with life anew.

Another green to show you grow, you thrive;
Out from the snow the snowdrop breaks in flower.
Who could have called this sleeping bulb alive?
Yet buried patiently it waits its hour,
Counting the snowflakes slowly settling
Their weight upon the heavy earth above;
One day its Winter changes to its Spring.
Who can predict the power of life and love?
  Hope that at last the final frost is dead.
  Faith that the Winter dies and Spring shall rise.
  Love for the life that up through blades has bled.
  Joy to a hundred children's waiting eyes;
For every hour it slept beneath the ground,
A thousand wondering eyes shall gather round.

A green of richest thought unlimited.
I try to say I love you every day:
I know I keep repeating things I've said.
Perhaps I'll try to phrase another way:
Suppose I counted all the money ever
From now until when Abel risked his neck
With my accountants, who were very clever,
And wrote it on a record-breaking cheque...
  It wasn't half your empathising, was it?
  Your thoughts are treasured more than bank accounts;
  The bank won't put your loving on deposit.
  And could they take it, given such amounts?
The jealousy of cash makes misers blind,
And who needs money when you have your mind?

A green to match the green of your creation!
She took her time in sketching out your features,
Shading you well, and, drawn with dedication,
You took the pen she gives to all her creatures
And set about some drawing of your own,
Filling the art with arc and line and shade,
Showing your work the care that you were shown,
And making them as well as you were made;
  And much as life your drawing hand was giving,
  Another life from deep within you drew:
  A life, not merely likeness of the living,
  So separate, yet such a part of you:
Who finds your baby-picture on the shelf
And smiles and finds you, showing you yourself.

A green to go, to boldly forge ahead,
Should shine on traffic lights for every person.
If you should find a colour in its stead
That stops you-- not an arrow for diversion,
To Edmundsbury, Hatfield and the North,
Or any other place that's worth the going--
But rather reds that block your going forth;
If traffic signals freeze your days from flowing,
  Your life is green and you deserve the green.
  And if you try to go about your day
  And greens are coming few and far between,
  And reds and ambers blare about your way:
If so, I pray your days to hold instead
All green, and never amber, never red.

A green for lands of peaceful meditation.
You call: Come stand upon my sacred ground,
Come sit and breathe the peace of contemplation,
Come feel the grass beneath, the lilies round,
Come sleep, come wake, and drink the quiet waters,
Come to the maytree, blackbird, waterfall;
Come know yourselves the planet's sons and daughters.
The people pass and pause, and still you call:
  It's waiting for you when you ask to try it:
  Peace (and the air) cannot be bought or sold.
  You'll never gain it if you try to buy it:
  It's not an asset crumpled fists can hold.
All that you have is nothing you can lose;
You stand on sacred ground. Remove your shoes.

The Greene King, standing proud with all his queens,
Guarding a land of oaks and aches and cold.
It's not a normal place, by any means,
This island of the oldest of the old,
Where bow the ancient oak and ash and thorn
In homage to a figure on a hill;
Deep in the hills where Wayland Smith was born
You stand, an English body, English still.
  For odes and age and air and ale have filled you,
  Made you their own and promised you belong;
  And since their homesick longing hasn't killed you,
  I think you'll be returning to their song;
Come, take your time, and sit and drink with me!
What say you to another cup of tea?

Jack-in-the-green, surrounded by his trees,
Had given birth to leafy life aplenty,
He'd introduced his firs by fours and threes,
And sowed his seedling cedars by the twenty;
The field was filled with trunks and twigs and roots,
The soil was sound and fertile, and the fall
Would fill the forest floor with growing shoots,
And none but Jack was there to watch it all
  Until you came to wander through this field,
  To walk within the ways within the wood;
  Your mind was brought to peace, your spirit healed,
  The forest given form and blessed as good;
Jack-in-the-green will wonder all his days:
your presence never ceases to a maze.

A thousand other shades of other greens:
"Leaf", "emerald", "sea", "bottle", off the cuff;
"Viridian" (uncertain what it means),
But there's so many. Names are not enough.
Yet, in another life, your maker might
Have picked you out among primeval glades
To work as keeper of the rainbow's light
And in another Eden name the shades;
  If so, the planet's poets will rejoice
  That, given life together with a name,
  The colours sing a stronger, clearer voice,
  And every hue will never seem the same:
Each of the shades looks loving back to you,
Its namer and the one who made it new.

The greenness of the deepness of the seas:
A home to fish of many a scaly nation.
Follow the shoals; the smallest one of these
Swims as a fishy summit of creation.
Yet every one's indebted to the shoal,
All subtle in their difference from the rest:
A fish of friends, a member of the whole,
A mix of traits, a taking of the best.
  So you and those of us you love so well
  Will grow along with other friends' increase,
  Required ingredients in the living-spell:
  Each person brings a necessary peace.
The level-headed people mix with mystics,
And both are living mixtures of holistics.

And I, I fall and marvel at the light,
This changing light that grows throughout the years,
Extinguished not by hardship nor by night
Nor foolishness nor sadness nor by tears.
When we were separated by the sea
I wished myself amidst your myriad days.
My wish was mirrored in your missing me;
Your maker joined our wishes, joined our ways;
  She placed our hands on one another's heart,
  And you and I began a lifelong learning
  Of one another, like a magic art
  Whose telling grows with every page's turning,
And holds our friendship as a growing bond
Till seventy years old, and still beyond.

A million greens, like fireworks in the night.**
I fear this sonnet never can be done.
So many colours burst upon my sight
I cannot tell the tale of every one.
But I can tell how vast excitement fills me
When all the flying sparkles fill the sky;
I want to tell the world how much it thrills me
To hold you close, reflected in your eye;
  I want to tell in all my earthly days
  And yet beyond, of what you mean to me;
  I want to say I love the myriad ways
  Of what you are and what you'll grow to be;
These counts combining made the building-blocks
When your creator took her crayon box.
Written as a Valentine's present for and about my partner, Fin.

I recorded myself reading the poem at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27EykqTr-w8 .
This Day, two Biped Ponies each of you ride,
Strolling along the lane Lovers enjoy
To watch this Sweet Scene from way far behind,
A Cheque I'd like to cash-in this Friday
Yes, for Pence-Tales of Romance and Success
Thinking to Follow is easy enough
How many, do those Squirrels squeak at-less
The Time which Currency states on the Rough
I guess Luck's Fair in Friendship does depend
On a Brisket-List sorted in custom
To where each of you in Common does spend,
Well, better than sulk out of sheer boredom.
The Bullseye's paid, admitting my Defeat,
Licking my own Fab's whilst hugging the Street.
#tomdaleytv #tomdaley1994
Jellyfish May 2012
We're standing outside in a cold, blistered wind,
for a quick pull of smoke and the chemicals within?
A quick rush of joy, euphoric train wreck,
a cure made illegal for a chemist's blank cheque.
Plant matter burning, charring my lungs,
an irritated throat and a cough soon to come.
Pass it to a friend and beg them to be quick
so I can burn my lungs again - let my blood run thick.
Serotonin chained and forced to make me feel good,
yet a non-addictive substance, apt misunderstood.
Less harmful than tobacco, alcohol still worse,
a sadly brainwashed nation where impression's pre-rehearsed.

Generations plagued with loud misguided cries.
They say it makes you stupid, another heartless lie.
We'll strap a gas mask to a monkey, and force it THC.
Forget about the oxygen... I wonder what we'll see?
It seems their brain cells died - it has to be the drug!
Government made a discovery? They ought to be less smug.

But back to my friend, and I in the cold,
forced to be hidden from long outdated scold.
Celebrating beauties in the world that were forgotten,
we're told it's overrated, like fine Egyptian cotton?
I know from experience that this has to be divine:
it could not exist if the sun could not shine.
The wind has stopped blowing, the rain takes it's place,
to feel divine beauty of liquid touching face.
It is something natural, and comes from within,
wow, I'm still standing in a cold blistered wind.
I would beg you all to watch "The Union - The Business Behind Getting High", it's a documentary available on Youtube.
echo Nov 2014
It
pays
to
know
yourself

:$)
I'm saving for something big
I
This is the night mail crossing the Border,
Bringing the cheque and the postal order,

Letters for the rich, letters for the poor,
The shop at the corner, the girl next door.

Pulling up Beattock, a steady climb:
The gradient's against her, but she's on time.

Past cotton-grass and moorland boulder
Shovelling white steam over her shoulder,

Snorting noisily as she passes
Silent miles of wind-bent grasses.

Birds turn their heads as she approaches,
Stare from bushes at her blank-faced coaches.

Sheep-dogs cannot turn her course;
They slumber on with paws across.

In the farm she passes no one wakes,
But a jug in a bedroom gently shakes.

II
Dawn freshens, Her climb is done.
Down towards Glasgow she descends,
Towards the steam tugs yelping down a glade of cranes
Towards the fields of apparatus, the furnaces
Set on the dark plain like gigantic chessmen.
All Scotland waits for her:
In dark glens, beside pale-green lochs
Men long for news.

III
Letters of thanks, letters from banks,
Letters of joy from girl and boy,
Receipted bills and invitations
To inspect new stock or to visit relations,
And applications for situations,
And timid lovers' declarations,
And gossip, gossip from all the nations,
News circumstantial, news financial,
Letters with holiday snaps to enlarge in,
Letters with faces scrawled on the margin,
Letters from uncles, cousins, and aunts,
Letters to Scotland from the South of France,
Letters of condolence to Highlands and Lowlands
Written on paper of every hue,
The pink, the violet, the white and the blue,
The chatty, the catty, the boring, the adoring,
The cold and official and the heart's outpouring,
Clever, stupid, short and long,
The typed and the printed and the spelt all wrong.

IV
Thousands are still asleep,
Dreaming of terrifying monsters
Or of friendly tea beside the band in Cranston's or Crawford's:

Asleep in working Glasgow, asleep in well-set Edinburgh,
Asleep in granite Aberdeen,
They continue their dreams,
But shall wake soon and hope for letters,
And none will hear the postman's knock
Without a quickening of the heart,
For who can bear to feel himself forgotten?
Jude kyrie Feb 2018
I was nineteen, almost twenty
back then. In the fifties.
The small after war mill town
in Lancashire
held dark hope for the future.
Smoke stacks and coal stained
buildings left from the remnants
of the industrial revolution.

Now all I felt in my heart was anger.
No jobs poor wages if you could get one.
But I had my looks and burning passion
to get somewhere in this ****** World.

My dad got me a job in the offices
At the coal mine where he was a miner.
it was on the
bottom rung of the ladder
I hated it, but it was a job.
That's where I met her, my boss.
The eldest daughter of the mine owner.

She was pretty and spoiled.
Well educated
at rich daddy's expense I guessed.
But used to her own way.
Nepotism was rife in those days.
She was thirty four but she kept
looking at me almost inspecting me.
Like her next toy I thought

But I was nineteen.  
I had never been with a woman
And she was well built and pretty.
She spoke to me gently and respectfully.
Like a teacher does to a pupil.

And as I listened all I could notice
Were her beautiful breast
and the impressive cleavage
In her blouse.

Every morning is he smiled at me
and wished me  good day.
What she did not know she had starred
In my ******  dream last night and in it
Her expensive clothes lay carelessly
On the  floor next to the bed,
That we were sharing.

She spent time with me
and taught.me a lot
about the business.
Her family owned half the town.

I had to work the weekend
the auditors were coming in
on monday morning early.
At seven o'clock on Saturday evening
we finished our preparations.

Thank you so much she said softly.
You must be famished I am.
She took me into town
in her MG sports car.
We ate at nice pub I had
three glasses of red wine.
I liked it I had never drank wine before.

She said do you have a girl.
I blushed no miss.
Why not, you are very nice looking.
Have you not found one lady
that you would like to ask out.

Yes miss I.mumbled there's one.
She looked at me I thought
I saw a tiny bit of jealousy.
But it could be the wine.
Who is she?
tell me about her it was half an order.

I called upon the glow
of my new found wine friend and said.
She's beautiful miss.
Very very stylish.
Lovely figure
and perfect gray eyes.
I don't think I have ever seen
a woman as lovely as her.

She sounds lovely she said.
But I noticed she was a bit miffed.
Why don't you ask her out.?
Because I don't think
she would accept miss.
Look she said out of the office
You may call me Elisabeth all right.
I said yes miss….er... Elizabeth.
Who is this lady you talk of anyway?

It's …..its you miss.
She went silent.
Looking at me intently.
Have I lost my job miss I asked.
No you haven't its alright.
I am much older than you.
It would not be appropriate.

Men go with ladies
much younger than they are miss.
Yes I know they do.

She took me back to the small
flat she kept in the city.
For nights that
she may be out on the town.
It was cosy and comfortable.
She poured more wine.

Why have you never married? I asked.
She smiled.
Because all those
that asked I didn't love,
all those I loved did not ask
she quipped.

I took my jacket off
it was warm with the wine.
And  the closeness to her.
My small pocket novel sided girlie
magazine fell out of the inside pocket.
I grabbed it quickly.

but she saw it.
Let me see it she said.
I passed it to her blushing.
She looked at the pictures
of the large breasted naked ladies.
They are lovely she said.

They are not as lovely as you are miss.
Have you ever been with a lady.
She asked.
I blushed no not yet,.
She said its time you did.

Taking my hand
she led me to her bedroom.
I am not sure what to do I whispered.
Hush hush now come to me,
She took me slowly and patiently.

I felt my childhood leave my body
Irrevocably rushing into her as my
manhood appeared in its place.

I slept in her arms and
when  I woke in the night.
she took me again
and held my head
onto her beautiful breast
as I slept like a child.

After that she took me to her place
after work almost every day,
She took me to her bed
and we made love.

After  few months I came into work
she called me into her office.
She looked troubled.
I thought I was getting fired.

But she said I'm pregnant.
In those days abortions
were illegal and dangerous.
And out of  wedlock babies poured
shame on lady and family.

She said I want this baby.
I told my mother
She broke it to daddy.
He's furious he wants to see you
in his office now.

I nearly collapsed
with fear and. confusion.
But I made my way to the
managing director's office.
He was a big man with a
moustache and silver hair.
Noted for his temper.

He said I make no bones about it.
You are not suitable
to a member of my family.
I had my lawyer draw up an agreement.
and termination package.

He brought out his checkbook.
He wrote a cheque payable to me
for thirty thousand pounds.
An enormous sum in those days.
Move on leave town
and never bother Elisabeth again.
He said strictly.

I do not know where
I got the courage from.
I looked at the cheque.
And thought of my
hundred and five pounds net worth.
And I tore it half.

Sir, You can fire me,
blacklist my name
in the north of England .
Make my life a living hell.
you have this power I know.
.
But I shall not leave Elisabeth
unless she tells me to go.
And even then
I do not want your money.

He stopped silently.
He always got his way,
No one ever talked back at him.
But.
There was something about this boy
that reminded him of himself so long ago
when he had not two penny's
to rub together.
and truth be known,
he married his wife Maud
because she was pregnant.

Very well
we will call my errant daughter.
and she can tell you to go herself.

Elizabeth came in the room
Her pretty eyes.
Red from crying.
Tell him to go daughter
he commanded.

I offered him thirty
thousand pounds to go away.
But he tore up the cheque.
He wants to hear you
to tell him to leave.
And he will leave
without a penny.

She looked up into my face
She saw the love
in my eyes that I had for her.

Do you want me she asked.
I answered
yes I do

Do you want this baby
she asked firmly
Yes I do.

Do you want to marry me
she asked?
Yes I do .

Old Abel her father knew defeat
when it was inevitable.
Alright against my blessing
you get married next week in white.
No bride of my family
Will go to altar great with child.

Ten years later

Abel had retired
And became the doting grandfather
To  our four children.
After the twins were born
then a year later his granddaughter
a year later his grandson.
he realised that his daughter
was the happiest women
in the north.of England.

.And his son in law
was  good husband and father.

I ran the mine
and expanded his interest
into electronics manufacturing.

We sit together on the river bank
sometimes Elizabeth and me.
I say l love you honey.
You are still the most beautiful woman
i have ever been with.

She laughs
i am the only woman
you have been with
I corrupted you as a youth.

.I am so happy you never
asked me to leave
that day in his office.
She smiled.
No,
I proposed to you instead,my  love.

Why did you not accept the huge sum
of money he offered and run.

Because
Of something you once said
about not being married
What's that then she questioned
All the ones you loved
did not ask you.
And
You were the one I loved
and you did ask me
I the darkest days a cNle glows.
Jude
Micheal Wolf Aug 2013
Today in 1963 A father of four had a dream
A dream that followed from the horrors of war
Where his race had fought and died for the emancipation of Europe to let freedom ring
They had seen the extermination of the Jews, Negros and homosexuals they believed in a better world
Yet returning to find segregation still rife
Southern politicians still believing them slaves and a sub class
He told them to rise from the valleys of segregation and they came and peacefully protested
He said the government had failed to cash a promissory cheque, he was right. Lincoln's dream was not the freedom promised.
They marched silently past the National Guard, with dignity and were hosed by the fire department
Yet the fire within their hearts burned stronger
Change came after his death and slowly

Fifty years on Dr King is gone yet his dream is as vivid today as it was then
His dream of judging by character not by colour has been replaced by those who now judge by religion.
Once again the injustice, interposition and Nullification
Once again the world is at a crossroads
Creeds now walk alone others rejoice in killing
The concept of all created equal is no longer a dream for all
In places it is reality, in other lands their only dream
As we now sit on the edge of reason poised to once again bomb another creed we are once again looking for a solution
We have a ***** US president, Female heads of state, multi cultural countries in peace and yet we **** over gods creed and belief
I would remind them of his words...

As we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotes of civil rights "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities.

Now read those words Obama, Cameron, Putin and your peers. March ahead for men women and children have no highway home or lodging in Syria. They have little cover and no food and little water. I don't claim the solution is easy but Is military action by bombs from above your best option?
The coming days will tell.
It seems the Kings, Kennedy's and those who believed peace and harmony was an option are now in the minority in power.

To close with his words.

And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every hamlet, every state every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of gods children, black men white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old ***** spiritual,
" Free at last! Free at last. GOD ALMIGHTY, we are free at last.

Now add Muslim, Arab, Sunni and any other measure of colour and creed.

May you and whoever your god, country or colour may be. Live in freedom and respect others.
Kings words are as valid today as ever. I use them with respect and claim no ownership.
May we learn.
Edna Sweetlove May 2015
God was tired that day
After all
Six days shalt thou labour
And on the seventh
Shalt thou rest
And he'd be slaving away
For eighteen days nonstop
Mainly because of the offer of
Double overtime
Had proven irresistible.

He'd written out these great rules
On how to live,
All eleven of them.
And God yelled out:
"Oy Moses, you fat bearded ***,
I got some tablets of stone for you
So move your ******* kosher ****"
.

And Moses came out of the pub
And picked up the first ten
But, being a bit the worse for wear,
And nine sheets to the wind
With cut-price passover wine,
He never noticed the eleventh one:
"Never accept a personal cheque
Without a bank guarantee card"

Is what it said,
And you can't argue with that
No ******* way.
Aa Harvey May 2018
Cheque please


You are better than me,
You are quicker than me,
You are more intelligent than me,
Or is it I?  See?
I am worse than you at everything that I do.
I want a vindaloo, but it is three in the morning,
And when I should be snoring, I am wide awake.


Filling another book, look.
It’s twenty something or other;
Lost count now.  Onto another.
Give this one away, can’t be bothered to write it.
Poetry is easy.
Life is in bits.


(C)2018 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
LJ Jun 2016
WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF CASUAL *****
True romance is dead
it is buried in the dense rocks
eroded from the cliffs to the valleys
it's silenced in the pitch of a symphony

It's a poet dream
to write sweet sentiments
kiss in the nothingness
sketch love as if a masterpiece

Now a Tinder
where you can plunder
curves and bossoms
with no responsibility

Then Ok Cupid
where conversations
tender and ponder
before unleashing the game

There is always POF
where fishes dare in a swim
kissing and pinching
punching and finishing

True love is an illusionary debt
a cheque in deficit
An emotional injustice
the unrighteous pursuit

It's a poet's dreams to love
count the stars and watch the moon
nurture emotions and connections
The probability is the world won't let us

It won't let us be
Ladies just undress and expose the jubblies
Men just undress and measure your *****
the world won't let us be
A poets dating site can just be phenomenal. A recipe of soul to soul transcendence!
Dr Sam Burton Oct 2014
What a shame
When someone loses fame
For doing nothing
Because of a shortcoming

For days, he was liked
Taken care of and prized
But once he had to be away
Got forgotten and castaway

He was called a liar
To be put on fire
He was blamed
Accused and defamed

For, frankly speaking, no reason
Yet he was charged with treason
Days ago was a family member
Now he's put at stake of timber

Indeed, very odd is man
When he is subject to ban
When jealousy driven
And heart-striken

Lucky is a freeman
Who refuses to live in a can
Lucky is the man
Who is not fried on a pan.

Sam Burton(C)







Today is Friday, Oct. 11, the 284 day of 2014 with 81 to follow.

The moon is waning. Morning stars are Jupiter and Venus. Evening stars are Mars, Mercury, Neptune, Uranus and Saturn.
In 1845, the U.S. Naval Academy was formally opened at Fort Severn, Annapolis, Md., with 50 midshipmen in the first class.

In 1886, Griswold Lorillard of Tuxedo Park, N.Y., fashioned the first tuxedo for men.

A thought for the day:

We all should rise above the clouds of ignorance, narrowness and selfishness. -- Booker T. Washington


Quotes for the day:

A good traveller is one who does not know where he is going to, and a perfect traveller does not know where he came from.

------------------------

All women's dresses are merely variations on the eternal struggle between admitted desire to dress and the unadmitted desire to undress.

Lin Yutang

"What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise."

Oscar Wilde

"It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts."

Robert H. Schuller

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.

Rita Rudner

It is only by following your deepest instinct that you can lead a rich life, and if you let your fear of consequence prevent you from following your deepest instinct, then your life will be safe, expedient and thin.

Katharine Butler Hathaway


TIVIA


What made Lucky Lindy so special?

Charles Lindbergh was not the first man to fly the Atlantic. He was the sixty-seventh. The first sixty-six made the crossing in dirigibles and twin-engine mail planes. Lindbergh was the first to make the dangerous flight alone.

Can your brain hurt?

Only figuratively -- Pain from any injury or illness is always registered by the brain. Yet, curiously, the brain tissue itself is immune to pain; it contains none of the specialized receptor cells that sense pain in other parts of the body. The pain associated with brain tumors does not arise from brain cells but from the pressure created by a growing tumor or tissues outside the brain.


Where can you see a lot of magnets?

More than 7,000 magnets are on display at the Guinness World of Records Museum and Gift Shop, located on the Las Vegas Strip. The exhibit is a portion of the more than 26,000-magnet collection of Louise J. Greenfarb, dubbed "The Magnet Lady," whose accumulation was designated by the Guinness Book of World Records as the world's "Largest Refrigerator Magnet" collection.



Poetry

Evening Star

Edgar Allan Poe

'Twas noontide of summer,
And mid-time of night;
And stars, in their orbits,
Shone pale, thro' the light
Of the brighter, cold moon,
'Mid planets her slaves,
Herself in the Heavens,
Her beam on the waves.
I gazed awhile
On her cold smile;
Too cold- too cold for me-
There pass'd, as a shroud,
A fleecy cloud,
And I turned away to thee,
Proud Evening Star,
In thy glory afar,
And dearer thy beam shall be;
For joy to my heart
Is the proud part
Thou bearest in Heaven at night,
And more I admire
Thy distant fire,
Than that colder, lowly light.


Vocabulary

Strudel

noun

: a pastry made from a thin sheet of dough rolled up with filling and baked

Example:

Strudels are usually made with high-gluten flour to increase the malleability of the dough.

"The Supremes belted out a song on the radio, their voices as smooth and flawless as the ribbon of cream Kirsten poured from the pitcher onto her father's strudel, and the whole house smelled cheerfully of pork and spiced apples, laced with a note of butter. — From Rebecca Coleman’s 2011 novel The Kingdom of Childhood



Health and Beauty Tip

Mineral Water for greasy hair

If you have oily hair, use a shampoo that contains zinc. It's okay to condition if you feel you need it -- just don't use it on your roots and scalp.


JOKES

Funny News

From the Churchdown Parish Magazine:
"Would the Congregation please note that the bowl at the back of the Church, labelled 'For The Sick,' is for monetary donations only."

-o-

From The Guardian concerning a sign seen in a Police canteen in Christchurch, New Zealand:
'Will the person who took a slice of cake from the Commissioner's Office return it immediately. It is needed as evidence in a poisoning case."

-o-

From The Times:

A young girl, who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth, was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coast-guard spokesman commented: 'This sort of thing is all too common these days.'

-o-

From The Gloucester Citizen:

A *** line caller complained to Trading Standards. After dialling an 0891 number from an advertisement entitled 'Hear Me Moan' the caller was played a tape of a woman nagging her husband for failing to do jobs around the house! . Consumer Watchdogs in Dorset refused to look into the complaint, saying, 'He got what he deserved.'

-o-

From The Barnsley Chronicle:

Police arrived quickly, to find Mr Melchett hanging by his fingertips from the back wall. He had run out of the house when the owner, Paul Finch, returned home unexpectedly, and, spotting an intruder in the garden, had visiting Mrs Finch and, hearing the front door open, had climbed out of the rear window. But the back wall was 8 feet high and Mr Melchett had been unable to get his leg over.

-o-

From The Scottish Big Issue:

In Sydney, 120 men named Henry attacked each other during a 'My Name is Henry' convention. Henry ****** of Canberra accused Henry Pap of Sydney of not being a Henry at all, but in fact an Angus. 'It was a lie', explained Mr Pap, 'I'm a Henry and always will be,' whereupon Henry Pap attacked Henry ******, whilst two other Henrys - Jones and Dyer - attempted ! to pull them apart. Several more Henrys - Smith, Calderwood an! d Andrew s - became involved and soon the entire convention descended into a giant fist fight. The brawl was eventually broken up by riot police, led by a man named Shane.

-o-

From The Daily Telegraph:

In a piece headed "Brussels Pays 200,000 Pounds to Save Prostitutes": "[T]he money will not be going directly into the prostitutes' pocket, but will be used to encourage them to lead a better life. We will be training them for new positions in hotels."

-o-

From The Derby Abbey Community News:

We apologise for the error in the last edition, in which we stated that 'Mr Fred Nicolme is a defective in the police force.' This was a typographical error. We meant of course that Mr Nicolme is a detective in the police farce.

-o-
From The Guardian:

After being charged 20 pounds for a 10 pounds overdraft, 30 year old Michael Howard of Leeds changed his name by deed poll to 'Yorkshire Bank Plc are Fascist! *s.' The Bank has now asked him to close his account, and Mr *s has asked them to repay the 69p balance by cheque, made out in his new name.

-o-

From The Manchester Evening News:

Police called to arrest a naked man on the platform at Piccadilly Station released their suspect after he produced a valid rail ticket.

-o-

An Austrian circus dwarf died recently when he bounced sideways from a trampoline and was swallowed by a hippopotamus. Seven thousand people watched as little Franz Dasch popped into the mouth of Hilda the Hippo and the animal's gag reflex forced it to swallow. The crowd applauded wildly before other circus people realized what had happened.

-o-

An elderly woman at a unit for sufferers of senile dementia passed round a box of mothballs thinking that they were mints. Eleven people were taken to hospital for treatment.

Confessional Etiquette


The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.
The old priest says, "Cross your arms over your chest and rub your chin with one hand."

The new priest tries this. The old priest suggests, "Try saying things like, 'I see,' 'yes,' 'go on,' 'I understand,' and 'how did you feel about that?'"

The new priest says those things, trying them out. The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than saying, 'Whoa... What happened next?'"

So Funny

A guy purchased Willie Nelson's hair for $37,000. ***** removed his braids and the guy bought them for $37,000. This is the kind of decision you make after spending the day on Willie's tour bus.

David Litterman

Did you hear what happened to Willie Nelson's hair? They sold it. There was an auction this week and a pair of Willie Nelson's braids sold for $37,000. It's a good deal because each braid has a street value of $80,000.

Jimmy Kimmel

Quick Blonde Jokes

Q: Why did the blonde keep putting quarters in the soda vending machine?

A: Because she thought she was winning.

Q: Why did the blonde take 16 friends to the movies?

A: Under 17 not admitted!

Q: Why did the blonde bake a chicken for 3 and a half days?

A: It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125.


Have a very nice Saturday!
Raj Arumugam Dec 2011
1
The Old Miser
my husband is dying
and he makes me promise
I must put all his money in his coffin
when he dies

O my legal third wife
the only one surviving -
you must put all my money
secretly in my coffin


Sure thing, sure thing
you Old Miser!
You made me suffer all my life
and now in your death
you want to bring away all the money
Sure thing, sure thing
you Old Miser!


2
Now, he’s dead
and I’ve arranged for his funeral
and while everyone’s busy
with all these preparations
I dutifully take all his money
from the hiding place
which he whispered to me
with his last breath
and he bit my ear and he snarled:
Put all my money
in my coffin



Sure thing, sure thing
you Old Miser!
You made me suffer all my life
and now in your death
you want to bring all the money away
Sure thing, sure thing
you Old Miser!


3
So I take all his money
and bring it to the bank
and deposit it in my name
and make a cheque out for 10 million
and put the cheque below his head

Sure thing, sure thing
you Old Miser!
You made me suffer all my life
and now in your death
you can take all the money away
Sure thing, sure thing
you Old Miser!
an old joke re-told in verse
Oma
Bounced

a mother figure
to two, a name
on a Christmas card
to four

when I realised
I was still a
child

and bitterness
wasn't an
option

I grew up
like a broken
nose

out of joint

Bounced

at the service
there are tears
beside me

I imagine a
body burning
and feel
warm

the lick of flames
on gray skin

my indifference
grows like I
imagine the
fire roaring

behind the curtain

heating up

Bounced

the house is
empty and
smells

unusual

like something has
been left in there
too long

they are not
there now but
it lingers

I tried to take
her dresses but
she was thinner
as a girl than
I am now

jealously

is a feeling
I'm familiar with

and it's easier
to understand

Bounced

we are waiting
for a buyer

and I imagine
how it feels
to have a piece
of your heart
trapped in bricks
and mortar

Bounced

one time,
I wanted to ask her
how it felt to
take notes of
the war

if she'd ever thought
of waving a white
flag and crumbling

drowning in the
rubble rain of
The Blitz

I wanted to hear
her say something
human

so I could
visualise and
see a bit of
her in myself

Bounced

I'm still caught up
on the autopsy
like a piece of
fatty tissue on
a scalapal

and my thoughts
are metal and
cold

the number of
zeroes on a
cheque

Bounced
It could Satan's cohorts cause, what portly
Political figures earn, to forsake his camp
And anon join the fray to the fat fiscal treasury
Of the country squander; and that to a cramp.
The pay plus pecks in a year they receive
Will most citizens in their lifetime never sniff.

So some who covet crazily such a mega-cheque
Also seek the same office for the easy favours.
Since our paunchy purse will at their own beck
And call be, they thus make elections endeavours
A  dagger thing;--that if they cannot God's gross
Gold get, they must anyhow have the devil's dross.
VENUS62 Jun 2014
I refuse to participate
In this race
so corporate

Where nothing but competition rules
Where competitors
get thrown to hungry wolves

They call it survival of the fittest
And elimination
of the weakest


Competition they say breeds innovation
As if a creative soul
needs any confrontation!

They corrupt you with conviction
Of wealth, riches, fame and
instant gratification

They put a noose round your neck
With a cabin
enclosing your desk

You toil night and day
To keep
the wolves at bay

You die a little every day
Dreaming of things
to do your way

Only you can these fetters break
By doing what you love
Even if it is  for a smaller cheque

In the extra time that you have
Gaze at the world  
with wonder and awe

Go paint on a canvas, or weave a web of words
Or simply go watch
wild animals and birds

For when you finally go up for review
He will treat us all
with the same view

He
for sure
will ask

Did you laugh, did you cry
Did you
Your precious life enjoy?

I refuse to participate
In this race
so corporate
Check - work nine-to-five, eat, sleep, draw again.
Surviving the day, nothing more, c'est bien.

Or call - easy choice for the hand you were dealt.
Just settle for average; win, lose; both unfelt.

If you need to, just quit; to accept it, just fold.
Be resigned to your fate; easy just isn't bold.

If not, you might lose; see pain, heartbreak, and death.
Bracing for blows that will knock out your breath.

So you didn't call a bluff, didn't sees players who cheat?
Or they raised you too much, now you're feeling the heat.

And life may be a *****, she deals hands unfair.
She's the muscle who beats you; detached, doesn't care.

But here's the kicker, dear life's only tell -
There's so much more out there; fight right to the bell!

'Cuz quitting the game after one bad beat?
You'd risk every win, for fear of defeat?

Not even one pair? Means no partner for life?
No falling in love, no taking the dive.

I guess if you're scared, that's a dangerous risk
Probably not worth the bet.

No three of a kind? No partners in crime?
No best friends for life, no slowing down time?

I guess that you're busy, with your job, for your cheque.
Probably not worth the bet.

And no full house? Means no family to kiss...
No building your future, no dogs, and no kids?

I guess it's hard work to lay down those bricks;
Probably not worth the bet.

No royal flush? No laughter, no tears?
No joy and no sorrow, no fun and no fears?

I guess if the bad scares you more than the good,
Probably not worth the bet.

For you, at least, that all may be fact.
You'll hold back your gambles, buy-in if you're backed.

You save up your chips for just the right hand,
And don't see that they are all equally grand.

For life may be cruel, but she gives loans for chips,
So keep playing the game until your luck flips.

So, me? Hit me, life. I'll stick out my chin.  
In this game we're playing?
Hell, I'm all in.
Jude kyrie Jul 2018
1951 a small mining town in Lancashire

I was only a young man of 18
back then. In the fifties.
The small after war mill town
in Lancashire was a desolate place.
Its dark soot stained buildings factory chimneys
that poured dark grey smoke
into the coal dust of air we breathed.
Even the town felt choked
by the dark hope for the future.
Smoke stacks and coal stained
buildings left from the remnants
of the industrial revolution.
Seemed to say to me
get out of here lad,
there's nothing for you.

Now all I felt in my heart was anger.
No jobs poor wages even if you could get one.
But I had my looks my youth and burning passion
to get somewhere in this ****** World.
And if I got the chance t would take it.

My dad got me a job in the offices
At the coal mine where he was a miner.
it was on the bottom rung of the ladder
I hated it, but it was a job.
That's where I first met her, my boss.
The eldest daughter of the mine owner.
She was pretty and spoiled.
Well educated and well dressed.
At rich daddy's expense I guessed.
But she was used to getting  her own way.
Nepotism was rife in those days.
She was thirty four but she kept
looking at me almost inspecting me.
Like her next toy I thought.

But I was eighteen.
I had never been with a woman
No experience, whatsoever with women.
And she was well built and pretty.
She spoke to me gently and respectfully.
Like a teacher does to a pupil.

She would bend over my desk
Teaching me the intricacy of the business,
And as I listened all I could notice
Were her beautiful breast
and the impressive cleavage
Inside her blouse.

Every morning she smiled at me
and wished me  good day.
What she did not know she had starred
In my ******  dream last night and in it
Her expensive clothes lay carelessly
On the  floor next to the bed,
that we were sharing.

She spent time with me
and taught.me a lot
about the business.
Her family owned half the town.

I had to work the weekend
the auditors were coming in
on monday morning early.
At seven o'clock on Saturday evening
we finished our preparations.

Thank you so much, she said softly.
You must be famished, I am.
She took me into town
in her MG sports car.
We ate at a nice pub I had
three glasses of red wine.
I liked it I had never drank wine before.

She said, do you have a girl.
I blushed, no miss.
Why not, you are very nice looking.
Have you not found one lady
that you would like to ask out.

Yes miss I.mumbled, there's one.
She looked at me, I thought
I saw a tiny bit of jealousy.
But it could be the wine.
Who is she? tell me about her
it was half a question
yet half an order.

I called upon the glow
of my new found wine friend and said.
She's so beautiful miss.
Very very stylish.
Lovely figure
and perfect gray eyes.
I don't think I have ever seen
a woman as lovely as her.

She sounds lovely she said.
But I noticed she was a bit miffed.
Why don't you ask her out.?
Because I don't think
she would accept miss.
She is far above my station.

Look she said out of the office
You may call me Elizabeth, all right.
I said yes miss….er... Elizabeth.
Who is this lady you talk of anyway?

It's …..its you miss.
She went silent.
Looking at me intently.

Have I lost my job, miss I asked.
No you haven't it's alright.
I am much older than you.
It would not be appropriate.

Men go with ladies
much younger than they are miss.
Yes, I know they do.

She took me back to the small
flat she kept in the city.
For nights that
she may be out on the town.
It was cosy and comfortable.
She poured more wine.

Why have you never married? I asked.
She smiled.
Because all those
that asked me, I didn't love,
all those I loved, did not ask
she quipped.

I took my jacket off
I was warm with the wine.
And  the closeness to her.
My small pocket novel sized girlie
magazine fell out of the inside pocket.
I grabbed it quickly.

but she had seen it.
Let me see it, she said.
I passed it to her blushing.
She looked at the pictures
of the large breasted naked ladies.
They are lovely, she said.

They are not as lovely as you are miss.
Have you ever been with a lady.
She asked.
I blushed no not yet,.
She said then it's high time you did.

Taking my hand
she led me to her bedroom.
I am not sure what to do, I whispered.
Hush, hush, now come to me,
She took me slowly and patiently.

I felt the boyhood leave my body
Irrevocably rushing into her as my
manhood appeared in its place.

I slept in her arms and
when  I woke in the night.
she took me again
and held my head
onto her beautiful breast
as I slept like a child.

After that she took me to her place
after work almost every day,
She took me to her bed
and we made love.

After  few months I came into work
she called me into her office.
She looked very troubled.
I thought I was getting fired.

But she said, I'm pregnant.
In those days abortions
were illegal and dangerous.
And out of  wedlock babies poured
shame on lady and family.

She said I want this baby.
I told my mother
She broke it to daddy last night.
He's furious, he wants to see you
in his office now.

I nearly collapsed
with fear and. confusion.
But I made my way to the
managing director's office.
He was a big man with a
moustache and silver hair.
Noted for his bad temper.

He said I make no bones about it.
You are not suitable
to be a member of my family.
I had my lawyer draw up an agreement.
and termination package.

He brought out his checkbook.
He wrote a cheque payable to me
for thirty thousand pounds.
An enormous sum in those days.
Move on leave town
and never bother Elizabeth again.
He said strictly.

I do not know to this day, where
I got the courage from.
I looked at the cheque.
And thought of my
hundred and five pounds, net worth.
And I tore it half.

Sir, You can fire me,
blacklist my name
in the north of England .
Make my life a living hell.
you have this power, I know.
.
But I shall not leave Elisabeth
unless she tells me to go.
And even then
I do not want your money.

He stopped silently.
and looked at me
as he stroked his chin thoughtfully.

He always got his way,
No one ever talked back at him.
But.
There was something about this boy
that reminded him of himself so long ago
when he had not two half penny's
to rub together.
And truth be known,
he married his wife Maud
because she was in the family way..

Very well then.
we will call my errant daughter.
and she can tell you to go herself.

Elizabeth came in the room
Her pretty eyes.
Red from crying.
Tell him to go, daughter
he commanded.

I offered him thirty
thousand pounds to go away.
But he tore up the cheque.
He wants to hear you
to tell him to leave.
And he will leave
without a penny.
tell him to go now.

She looked up into my face
She saw all the love
in my eyes that I had for her.

Do you want me?
she asked
I answered
yes I do.

Do you want this baby
she asked firmly.
Yes I do.

Do you want to marry me
she asked?
Yes I do .

Old Abel her father knew defeat
when it was inevitable.
Alright then,against my blessing
you get married next week in white.
No bride of my family
Will go to altar great with child.

Ten years later

Abel had retired.
And became the doting grandfather.
To  our four dear children.
After the twins were born
then a year later his granddaughter
a year later his grandson.
he realised that his daughter
was the happiest women
in the north.of England.

.And his son in law
was  good husband and father.

I ran the mine
and expanded his interest
into electronics manufacturing.

We sit together on summer nights
on the river bank.
Sometimes Elizabeth and me get a little
alone time. No kids no work.
I say to her  l love you honey.
You are still the most beautiful woman
i have ever been with.

She laughs
i am the only woman
you have been with
I corrupted you as a youth.

I whisper,
.I am so happy you never
asked me to leave
that day in his office.
She smiled.
No,
I proposed to you instead,my  love.

Why did you not accept the huge sum
of money he offered and run.

Because
Of something you once said
about not being married
What's that then?
she questioned
All the ones you loved
did not ask you.
And
You were the one I loved
and you did ask me
I like to visit my roots now and then.
My humble origins
Before I left England.
Who has the right?
not to be confused with
who has the might.
There are decisions to make
boundaries to break through
and minds to
get into
do you have the right to decide
who governs,
and who governs the governors?
if they are given free reign then
freedom and slavery become one
and the same to
the subjugate.
Nigel Morgan Mar 2014
This board is not on the wall. It rests on a worktable against a wall. It’s almost the length of the table, perhaps a foot short. On top of the board its wooden frame makes a shelf ideal for photographs or cards to balance precariously, photographs and cards too precious to pin. Today there are five, yes they change from day to day, and today (from left to right) there’s an original drawing in walnut ink of a winter field, a photo of two children looking from a cliff top towards a peninsula’s end, a card called Autumn Spey from a lithograph by Angie Lewin, an invitation to a gallery opening, and a What’s On brochure – from another gallery – showing some unusual tapestry.

The Notice Board is 100 x 60 cm. The wooden frame is slight, probably home-made, but well-made, with a dark brown hessian surface. Not that you can see much of the surface as it is covered with stuff: photographs, images, poems, pictures, cards, quotations, a prayer, an origami bird, a doctor’s prescription, a piece of tapestry, an invitation, an address, lists galore, a cheque or two, a diagram (of a knot), a concert program. Not everything can be seen directly as many items are shared by a single pin and hidden four, even six, notices deep. Every so often the items are unpinned and consigned to a folder and filed, and so the process of choosing and pinning starts over again. This can happen after a holiday, returning uncluttered by days walking the cliff paths with only the quiet sea to gaze at and the cottage blissfully free of things known, things owned.  So when back at the desk, in front of the notice board, it seems right to be beginning again.

Mozart’s Linz Symphony is playing quietly in the background. It’s that time of day when music is sometimes allowed to frame work at this desk and blot out the going home noise of buses in the city street moving away from the stop three floors below. Linz, the capital of Upper Austria and now a large industrial city straddling the banks of the Danube, once gave its name to Linzertorte, a cake of jam, cloves, cinnamon, and almonds, and this remarkable symphony by Mozart. The composer had only just married his Constanza and wrote to his long suffering father:

When we reached the gates of Linz . . . , we found a servant waiting there to drive us to Count Thun's, at whose house we are now staying. I really cannot tell you what kindnesses the family are showering on us. On Tuesday, November 4, I am giving a concert in the theatre here and, as I have not a single symphony with me, I am writing a new one at break-neck speed, which must be finished by that time. Well, I must close, because I really must set to work.

And set to work he did. He had just 4 days to compose, write the parts (though Constanza helped), and rehearse an orchestra. Such is life for the working composer, even today. Maybe not a summons from a beneficent Count, but a phone-call from a producer with a deadline. It is the film or TV score to be composed at break-neck speed. And it can be done, believe me. It may not be sublime as Mozart, but it gets done: there are ways and means.

But this is today’s background, and as these words are written the gracious siciliano of the Symphony No.36 plays away. Such a tender confection.

Looking up at the notice board where does one start? Each pinned piece is a divertissement, an aide memoire to times, events, places, and people. It is a mixture of the colourful, the curious, the necessary, the unusual, the nostalgic, and the personally precious. These things are the qualifications required to occupy a place on this board.

But now Haydn takes over the musical background, Symphony No.88. No descriptive name here, just his wonderful music: his first symphony to score trumpets and timpani, and with more than a touch of Turkish in the Minuetto and Finale.

So close your eyes now (let’s listen to Haydn for a while), then slowly open them and choose from the notice board what first catches your attention.

It’s a coloured sketch of flowers on an A5 sheet of cartridge paper. It is outlined delicately in pen, coloured variously with pastels, green, orange, purple, red. The vase is a glass bowl. It’s set on a window-sill and there’s the frame of a window faintly rendered. There’s no artifice in the arrangement. These are flowers from a garden, picked and now firmly ****** into the bowl. Immediately the long, quiet east-facing room comes alive to colour. It’s in shade now the sun has moved since midday when the flowers arrived after a journey of 40 miles in a hot car wrapped in moist newspaper and silver foil. It is a special gift and its beauty remains vivid for days. When visitors visited gentle comments are made on their fresh colours.

At night when the room is only lit by a standard lamp standing by a pale yellow settee the flowers sleep in the darkness, holding a vivid memory of a day of colour and light. A recording of the Schumann quartets plays passionately during the ‘close to the end of summer’ evenings. Hands are held, and between movements there is an occasional exploratory kiss. Such was their collective fear of passion overcoming other endeavours . . .

In the early morning time when she slept in the room next door oblivious to his wakefulness he would enter the long studio room with its four windows to find the first sunlight patterning the floor. The flowers were wide-awake, their perfume rich in the still morningtime. He would stand entranced to see such beauty brought from her city garden; the first of many gifts he would come to treasure. His sketch was an amateur’s, but four summers past it continued to give much joy and dear memories. It had something of the solemnity of Mozart’s siciliano, and if an image could be said to have a right tempo, it had a right tempo, a gracefulness roughly hewn perhaps, but full of grace.
J Mar 2015
In this moment,
I want 3 things
And here is why

A new job,
One, I love again
Like my last but in London.

More money,
So I can see my parents on day,
With a cheque for their montage.

A relationship,
To fall in love
And not be alone anymore.

I currently stand
In a decent place and position
But being human, I always want more.
Mavis Mayhem May 2015
wanna guess
my empty distress
inside I'm a mess
this **** I detest

crack open a book
hey degenerate, take a look
flip a page
the world's a stage

blind, ignorant rage
our youth's worth minimum wage
living cheque to cheque, dollar to dollar
most of god's children grow up in squalor

the blood, the gore can't you see
it becomes ones destiny
no peace on earth, death, war and greed
ignorance dug the garden, hatred planted the seed

turned a blind eye for far too long
I became weak when I ignored the wrong
The Banker's Fate

They sought it with thimbles, they sought it with care;
They pursued it with forks and hope;
They threatened its life with a railway-share;
They charmed it with smiles and soap.
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark.

But while he was seeking with thimbles and care,
A Bandersnatch swiftly drew nigh
And grabbed at the Banker, who shrieked in despair,
For he knew it was useless to fly.

He offered large discount--he offered a cheque
(Drawn "to bearer") for seven-pounds-ten:
But the Bandersnatch merely extended its neck
And grabbed at the Banker again.

Without rest or pause--while those frumious jaws
Went savagely snapping around--
He skipped and he hopped, and he floundered and flopped,
Till fainting he fell to the ground.

The Bandersnatch fled as the others appeared
Led on by that fear-stricken yell:
And the Bellman remarked "It is just as I feared!"
And solemnly tolled on his bell.

He was black in the face, and they scarcely could trace
The least likeness to what he had been:
While so great was the fright that his waistcoat turned white--
A wonderful thing to be seen!

To the horror of all who were present that day,
He uprose in full evening dress,
And with senseless grimaces endeavoured to say
What his tongue could no longer express.

Down he sank in a chair--ran his hands through his hair--
And chanted in mimsiest tones
Words whose utter inanity proved his insanity,
While he rattled a couple of bones.

"Leave him here to his fate--it is getting so late!"
The Bellman exclaimed in a fright.
"We have lost half a day. Any further delay,
And we sha'n't catch a Snark before night!"
I came home late from work today
My wife was hopping mad
She said "we've got to put him somewhere"
"I've had it with your dad"

I asked what was the problem
She said "The second you left home"
"He was out back in the garden"
"Sitting, talking to a gnome"

"I see", I said, that isn't good
"Then the war games in the trees"
"The next time I looked out he was"
"Crawling on his hands and knees'

"I went out to go and get him"
"He threw me down and slapped my ***"
He said "you have to get down low dear"
"Or you'll be spotted by the ***"

I suggested that we look about
For a nice old country home
He could play his war games in the woods
And I would let him take the gnome

My wife said "Make it happen"
And I heard through the back door
"It better happen quickly"
"Because I can not take much more!"

I called and found a nice spot
Princess Patricia's Old Vets Place
It was cheap and fit our budget
And it sure had lots of space

We went up for a visit
Before we put my dad in there
I mean, if it was not to his liking
Then it would not be quite fair

The head nurse gave us info
About the hours and the fees
And we told her of how Daddy
Liked to play war games in the trees

She said "He's going to love it"
"It sounds like he's a real good sport"
"The vets here have a Navy"
"Out on the tennis court"

"They strap bed pans to their feet"
"And they go skating down the hall"
"Some unhook their catheters"
"And have duels upon the wall"

"They see who shoots the highest"
"Which one can write their name"
"And every time we show a war film"
"It all ends up the same"

"He'll fit right in, no problem"
"I can sign him in today"
My wife just stood and smiled
Pulled out the cheque,with which to pay

Dad, not really caring
Watched the woods for an attack
I don't think that he cared much
If we ever did come back

He's happy at the moment
Giving orders to the gnome
Out deep in the country
At Princess Pat's Old Vets Home

Life is back to normal
All is well for her and me
Although lately I've seen soldiers
Hiding, watching in the trees.....
Joe Cole Apr 2015
Equality For All

Why do you despise
Those who must fight to survive
In our lands
The lands of the free
Those who walk the cracked concrete streets
High on the cannabis ****
The dull glaze in their eyes
No will to survive
No hope, no future in sight
Hispanic and black and *** country white
Painted with the same ***** brush
Their only crime is the place they were born
Born on the wrong side of the track
But they to have rights
Be they black brown or white
They to have voices to be heard
You live in your big house
With untold wealth
The taxman to defraud
Fancy car and swimming pool
A room filled with fancy shoes
Yes shoes never worn more than once
Then left there on the shelf
You write a cheque for a million dollars
But never give a thought
For those on the other side of the track
Down trodden whites, Hispanics
And the un educated blacks

*yes, our lands, the lands of the free
All to often we call upon them to serve and die for us but still all to often treat them as second class citizens
The Hunting

The Bellman looked uffish, and wrinkled his brow.
"If only you'd spoken before!
It's excessively awkward to mention it now,
With the Snark, so to speak, at the door!
"We should all of us grieve, as you well may believe,
If you never were met with again--
But surely, my man, when the voyage began,
You might have suggested it then?

"It's excessively awkward to mention it now--
As I think I've already remarked."
And the man they called "Hi!" replied, with a sigh,
"I informed you the day we embarked.

"You may charge me with ******--or want of sense--
(We are all of us weak at times):
But the slightest approach to a false pretence
Was never among my crimes!

"I said it in Hebrew--I said it in Dutch--
I said it in German and Greek:
But I wholly forgot (and it vexes me much)
That English is what you speak!"

"'Tis a pitiful tale," said the Bellman, whose face
Had grown longer at every word:
"But, now that you've stated the whole of your case,
More debate would be simply absurd.

"The rest of my speech" (he exclaimed to his men)
"You shall hear when I've leisure to speak it.
But the Snark is at hand, let me tell you again!
'Tis your glorious duty to seek it!

"To seek it with thimbles, to seek it with care;
To pursue it with forks and hope;
To threaten its life with a railway-share;
To charm it with smiles and soap!

"For the Snark's a peculiar creature, that wo'n't
Be caught in a commonplace way.
Do all that you know, and try all that you don't:
Not a chance must be wasted to-day!

"For England expects--I forbear to proceed:
'Tis a maxim tremendous, but trite:
And you'd best be unpacking the things that you need
To rig yourselves out for the fight."

Then the Banker endorsed a blank cheque (which he crossed),
And changed his loose silver for notes:
The Baker with care combed his whiskers and hair.
And shook the dust out of his coats:

The Boots and the Broker were sharpening a *****--
Each working the grindstone in turn:
But the ****** went on making lace, and displayed
No interest in the concern:

Though the Barrister tried to appeal to its pride
And vainly proceeded to cite
A number of cases, in which making laces
Had proved an infringement of right.

The maker of Bonnets ferociously planned
A novel arrangement of bows:
While the Billiard-marker with quivering hand
Was chalking the tip of his nose.

But the Butcher turned nervous, and dressed himself fine,
With yellow kid gloves and a ruff--
Said he felt it exactly like going to dine,
Which the Bellman declared was all "stuff".

"Introduce me, now there's a good fellow," he said,
"If we happen to meet it together!"
And the Bellman, sagaciously nodding his head,
Said "That must depend on the weather."

The ****** went simply galumphing about,
At seeing the Butcher so shy:
And even the Baker, though stupid and stout,
Made an effort to wink with one eye.

"Be a man!" said the Bellman in wrath, as he heard
The Butcher beginning to sob.
"Should we meet with a Jubjub, that desperate bird,
We shall need all our strength for the job!"

— The End —