In my journey I have not decided
If walking in blinding light is better than wandering in the blackest night.
I give darkness such negitve continuity, no fault of my own, societal programming, when I am feeling lost.
And
Yet I can't even move to feel my way in the brightest of light that stings and attempts to eat at my eye lids through the crevices of my fingers.
So
Which is the better?  
To wander in the dark associated with loneliness, helplessness, cover, or protection
Or
Feeling around in the light  associated with bravery, certainity, vulnerably, or exposure?
Somehow I seem to have slipped onto a ship without anyone at the helm and I,
Neutral
I neither give a here nor there on which to decide
Only
More so which one bares more of a case on better returns.

Should you know everything from start to end
Would you change a thing?

I would rather not.
Not even Choose to know
That where to reach
So there to go
Whom to meet
Whether say yes or no

I just don't even wish to know
That where to search
And what to find
That what will hurt
And who ll be kind

Isn't that what we do
build that wall Of certainity
Wall of our dreams
Of that promised secured  future
Organising everything random
Offered by the universe
So that
Not even for a moment we go off track
Into the unknown
So that none ventures in and surprise you

Changing things so that
We don't have to change it later

And then what
Lay staring
Nothing but those walls
Your walls
Made of those work-hours
Decisions, regrets , memories
Walls so high and strong
Now you can't see beyond em
Let alone walk past it

I won't mind losing
For my mistakes
The pain, the chill, the burn
Heartbreaks under scorching sun
Let me be swept by cold winds of doubts
Drenched in the rain from clouds of fear
Not under the safe concrete of wealth
Unseasoned and a mortal mere

I would rather choose
To be lost
As I am
As are most
And won't even try to find my way
No quest to solve
Nothing to resolve

Just you and me
Walking all the roads
Stopping where we feel
And staring at the sky
Counting stars as if we can
Everyday afresh and start anew
You with me and I with you
And
You love me and I love you

WE WILL ALL DIE ONE DAY.....
a certainity we cant change....
not concerning  myself
with this bitter truth...
let me wish .....
to create....
something worth IT....
NOT ONLY for myself....
but for those breathing alongside me.....
which will STAY.....
LONG AFTER I LEAVE....
MY BODY CAUGHT I

To the point where it starts or is it to the point where it ends
A sinful but childish memory  that knows its way to the back terminus
The coda of a moment with the certainity of a melliflous flow
What makes it deep and so ween is the never ending uncertainity
Uncertainity , whether its to the point where it starts , where it ends or is it just simply to the....!!!

Look inside yourself;
down the road that you travel.
How far have you come?
And how much do you really know?
Just like moons and like suns
with the certainity of tides,
just like hopes of springing high
still i'll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
weakened by my soulful cries.
You may shoot me with your words,
you may cut me with your eyes,
you may **** me with your hatefulness
but still like air
*i'll rise

Eyes appearing on the horizon
Coming towards me
Greeting me with sweet simplicity
A heart skipping a beat
Within my very chest
Words directed at me
By wonderful lips
All thought momentarily impaired
A response
Whisperedwith fright but certainity
My heart will be captured by you
And so it was fated
Those eyes would forever see me
See all of me
And those lips would forever
Spark a flame withing my soul.

You would now be mine for all of eternity
And I shall be yours.



*May the world learn from our undying love.

love isn't seeing all of them and loving them anyway
because you can't- you can't see all of them, ever
you'll never know their whole soul
you can't love someone for what you see because they will
constantly, constantly show you new things
changing your impression and taking or giving your love
your idea of them cannot change your love for them because then
it is constantly shifting and changing
and if their soul and person and essence do not change-
why should your love for them?
but- faith, faith is the guarantee that because God loves all
God loves them, perfectly- and God knows them, perfectly-
faith is knowing that even if you doubt,
even if you see parts of them that are gross, that are broken
that get angry at you- even if you see vengeful and mean parts-
God knows their whole soul and loves them anyway
faith is not seeing all but knowing all is worth dying for
faith is seeing a certainity of hope that they are worth loving.

paceful
in going to sleep with the certainity of not waking up
in the morning
when the conciuos slowlly makes its apperance
there is a crashing pain in the soul
in the knowlede of being alive.

What can one do
when the bones can´t stand the weight
of the body
of the mind
of the heart
and they hurt
like when you where a child
growing.

But we are growing, aren´t we?

You open your eyes
or maybe not
And you can only ask
Why?
Wasn’t it enough?