Once Upon A Time
I once stood up ****
immortalized in photoshoots
as my lover's VENUS.
Down I laid in deep shame
more than to pose for
an unanounced **** Cannon
photo shooting spree there
upon a cut tree I stood prompted
to lay down on it.
A tree of life simulation a second chance to birth a new dream
the huge cut stump sadness
signifying our child lost!
Our magestic forest land dream
upon that Hill was born.
A new Adam a new Eve a new beginning.
Stonned by past orphaned wars
unawareness dormant beast
was the pain of denial my abandonment syndrome.
It all proved futile yesterday
but today I share my true story.
all awakened struggling to heal

I hate this car filled city
my heart breaks in loneliness
I surely must love the suburbs.
being sociable realizing my lossess
where i missed my marks

My secret friends are trees
ancient green cedar woods.
Others are masked behind this cyber mirror eagerly reading me
some even ask me, hey
How do you do?
To not let the dark
get to me!
commenting and cheering me
so, the mystic forest trees
see me, hear me
re-burrying my past secrets
and pots of gold in roots

I do love the woods now
that always had terrified me
since my dad was shot nearby
in our forest land's I was five .
I still hear the gun shots!
I hear my babies cries too
in the enemy's hands hurting

The stump became
my millionaire mystery bank
burrying all our cash loot as dowry
my grieving lover twin flame divine
with insignias it all had arrived carefully inscribed
"Great fortune to Believer"
"Fame true love to the adventurous clever digger beauty"
"Deathly curses, bad luck,
great calamity poverty to the
foolish desserter unbeliever"
urgently advising to
"Hurry up it's all time sensitive!"
yelled my fiancee's love letters.
A stump, a tree and a elite lover
among magestic tall green trees,
carved my fate today to return!

And in that mystic Hill far away
And once upon a time true magic touched me thus changing us both
and with this mystery to rejoice
life makes sense where love lost.
All trees now tell me bittersweet stories and I bitterly weep.

The stumps chopped trees
in the nearby streets hurt deeply
I was once that Queen bee of
Once Upon a Time
chosen to change Earth
where rich could marry poor
women not men would rule
Where wealthy share
their treasures earned
or inherited cheerfully so
changing lives by the score.

I was promised nine diamond tiaras
For each baby ours born of twin flame twin souls our "glued together baby."

Our Memoir book to linger forever linked by the magic of true love.
I found my old dream of dreams
my peaceful own Reign RDDBBA!
That was then joy happiness lost
it's life saving rejuvenating today.

Although the trees in
that forest lands adored me
they too detested me.
Covertly wearing masks too
furious with my dead calm silence
then misunderstood no more tonight
all tests buried to be worthy ofof joining my lover's world
Green yellow leaves thundering
in wind murmuring sad songs
no one but me can now hear
their frantic Psalmic cries;
Nature it seems it too
takes back as much as it gives.

Our bitter harvest dreams
burried abandoned sleeping
where our road fork bent in
as I laid posing his Venus of Urbino
in the **** back then;
stonned bewildered scared
feeling abandoned alone,
all by me as punishment seen!
All a secret remained a lifetime.
So heartbreaking it is.
the nagging pain won't subside
Without timely Second Chance Vissions
our awesome dreams
couldn't breathe in the face of reality
my lover's gap dividing.

In the end my tree of life sighs
as it burries my body
deep dead asleep
under its mighty living roots
the stump and the tree
left behind devour all
all whats left of me,
sigh.
~~~~~
By: Karijinbba
All rights reserved
revised a 6/29-19 /10-2020

I say goodbye
I let you go
You are forgiven
And so am I
How could you always be inside?
I knew you not
Yet you controlled
My every move
I almost exploded
I felt so sad
I was afraid
To look deep inside
You piercing gaze
Your mellow ways
What a smile
Hid so much pain
The past was here
It never left
As you grew stronger
And yet so kind
Oh so sweet
Such gentle ways
Burrying your thorns
As blood gushed forth
Twisting and pulling
Screaming and pushing
Clenching and grinding
As fire and smoke
Kept building inside
While the forest of tears
Could not put you out
Tornado of feelings
Whirling its way
Up and down my spine
Every breath that I take
Yet you remained hidden
What a disguise
What's not to like
Says everyone smiling
But I see you now
All anger no fun
You had me controlled
But I tell you now
I say goodbye
I let you go

souls made of ivory
interlocking with the wisdom of ancient elephants
we burn the incense under our thighs
and drown in the meaning that we made up for breathing
and we drown in the world we created with what
society perceives as our corrupt minds
my beautiful dieing agonies
burrying themselves in the castles of great queens
of great kings
shuffling to hurdle under the homes of the
slaves of ancient egypt
learn from me
and I
I
will learn from you
we said mentally
little did we know how the wounds would expose
themselves physically

after I had dug my own grave several times
and before I lay in it your face sits in my mind
so I place your words on my tombestone
and put your name on every line in my will
another mortal death
and one of my cat like lives are lost
melted like a snowflake in between your hands
you defeat my winter
you turn me into a hot summer
but all I wished for us was just one beautiful spring
that lasted forever

I used denial for so long
It was my breath and life and love
But now....when the're all gone
and the silence builds up like cold cruel snow
Burrying everything
Now she's made me start to see
the world through her eyes
I know the patterns, cried my heart out
Is there anything left inside?
The truth will rip you apart, set you free
It's the pain that truely makes you see.

Many leaves one tree
But in the end every leaf
Falls and dies
Alone