flowers laid perfectly in a path
silk colored of pink welcomes her mighty wrath
young girls look up to see the image of beauty, kindness, and love
gentlemen see her as the image of above
all hail the perfect
all bow and worship
her mother and father loved her since the day she was born
they knew she would keep the world from being torn
she walks down that path as the angels sing
but soon follows every human being
the world has a blindspot for seeing the normal this way
every blended person seems to save the day
the broad picture of society
it brings nothing of variety
but can you blame
wanting to be viewed with glory and fame
the image of picture perfect stands and wanders
making everyone want to be a follower

I am in love with a boy
Who was born blind
In his left eye
I had no idea until one day
His grandmother decided
To fill me in
And I almost laughed because
I saw no tell-tale signs
of this affliction
And like a small child
Acting on a prediction
I covered your eye with
My hands and asked,
"So you can't see me?"
Our noses nearly touching
But our souls feeling far
"No," he replied
"But I  don't need to
To know how beautiful you are."

a piece of you, in a different form.
a piece left over, from the storm.
in my existance,
came all the resistance.
shortly after, the roof caved in.
& with an end, we watched it begin.
daddy left, you stepped up.
an empty glass, you filled the cup.
little did we know, it had a leak.
it's dripping slowly, as we speak.
over bumps we built bridges, rocky roads we held hands.
next to me, by my side...you'd always stand.

then, my hero ****** up.
he spilt the cup.
but he wasn't to blame,
no guiltiness, no shame.
you mopped the floor,
and again..you poured.
the cup freshly filled...
until the next spill.
the crack grew longer,
our bond grew stronger.
but little by little,
it grew too brittle.

his pillows were fluffed.
mine came unstuffed.
his blankets were warm.
mine came torn.
his bed was made.
but, you see i was afraid.
he didn't come home.
my secret is left : unknown.

i hit a blindspot in your rearview mirror.
i tried to hit the wipers so you'd see clearer.
& i tried with all my might.
to get into your sight.
but he was standing there, in the headlights.
& you...flicked on your brights.
there, i stopped, i tumbled...i fell.
no mean to get up, no energy to compell.

so now, i'll try and help you understand,
why i only hold plastic cups in my hand.
i was tired of competing with the one who broke the cup.
and watching, everytime, as you filled it up.
i was tired of running, when he got to walk.
i was tired of staying silent, when he got to talk.
i didn't know you had to fail, in order to win.
i didn't know you had to say goodbye, in order to begin.

He yelled
Out **** spot
to the freckled boy from next door

and
out **** spot
to his own black labrador

he wolf whistled and cawed
to all the lambs on the moor

yet
he had never seen or thought
of the blindspot in his own eye before

Jane, by now we all know you're not Taylor
And you don't have to be her
If you want Weller,
You have to be the other

But with me, you can be whoever
'Cause I'm your friend, Jane
You can be crazy, silent, fierce or clever
I'll never take away your sane

Jane it's not a perfect world
You don't have to cover all your tattoos
It's part of who you are
And if you don't want them
We can laugh about them for hours

Cause Jane, the best way to cry is to forget
And the best way to forget is to laugh
So let your emotions summerset
And don't stop until you feel better than just enough

You don't need a shepherd Jane
You are your own wolf
I know there is no one to blame
So go ahead, Jane.. Become! You are shatterproof!

Who now is this smiling
Forgotten, Positively high
Just yesterday i was reeling
From the blindspot jabs of soft goodbyes.

But still these hands are ever restless
Rhythmic at work and upon the walls
But the altar remains breadless
And the garland lazy droops in the halls.

Well, it seems certainly I’ve seen
That remaining glow, that faint sheen
I’ve heard the wind shyly whisper
Tangerine- Tangerine

Is there now nothing to do but softly sigh
And to remember all that I believe
To sit and succinctly cry
And at once be relieved

To extend my hand
To know another
Head in the breeze
Open from cover

Always happy
Never mean-
The wind it names
Tangerine-Tangerine

Bit of chaos in her
I've heard them say
I witness it’s panaish
Twice upon the day

Found some disorder
Here in myself-
Somethings are dead
Others are in health

Little wild
But a dream-
The wind its cries
Tangerine- Tangerine

The light is dim.
The wings of a crow
beat the clouds thin
into wisps of fog.
In the residue of silence
I try to think of ways
to make you see me,
only to realize
how naive i am.
There is no forcing sight.
The eyes either see
or they don't.
One in love
and the other not;
the blind cant lead the blind.
One must let go.
I must let go.

Willfully-
I don't see you from the side of my body.
Yet these **** toes like small children tugging on my hem,
"Come on, come on!"
They want to run to you
(and I do, too)
but I will not budge.
as I am quite intently giving you no mind.
Contented to just watch you from the blindspot as
I keep you carefully wondering
why if there is so much beauty in the world to admire...
Then why-
you would-
your whole body could
only
and against your own will
only-
not see me too.


sahn 3/5/2015

I said, “Let’s get out of here”
because I was so tired
I thought I’d disappear
and I knew how much you loved
long car rides in the nighttime

You told me the windows
reminded you of life
with the way the world raced on by
in a foggy daze
and I thought it was strange
you failed to mention
the beauty of the sleepy orange streetlights
on the deserted speedy highways

You told you never loved anything
as much as the radio at 2am
because you knew
there were others like you listening
and you would watch
the road with such an intensity
that I found myself jealous
of those rundown empty streets
and I wondered if I was your blindspot

You told me 24-hour gas stations
were places of magic
because so many people walked in and out
and never looked back
and when I was pouring myself coffee
I heard the cashier tell you
how lucky you were to have a girl like me
and your silence was as lukewarm
to my chest as the drink was to my lips

You told me the other drivers
on the road with you were lost
because they all knew
where they were headed
and had heads full of clarity
but as I stared at my blue veins
on my pale wrist
I realized that I was the lost one
and the miles ahead and behind
us both were nothing compared
to where I’d rather be

You told me the destination
was not what mattered,
it was only how you got there,
and I thought about this
in the messy passenger seat of your car
as you said, “We can never leave

I'd never have to understand that we were born into equal sized roadways-
another unwritten rule suspended in the air
amongst the somewhat unnecessary details we'd 'forgotten'
to mention over the past few years.
But that was okay right?
I mean you'd found your direction
and accelerated ahead of me;
thinking you'd see the world differently from there?
Sure, your perspective involved hues that I was blind to but
I'd found this gem within the shadows of all these cars
(Shh! Don't let them know you're catching up!
This highway was ruled by colours,
not words.)
redyellowgreenredyellowgreen
You just couldn't stay within your own lane-
oblivion muddled with reality
blurred my blindspot
so I advise you to swerve out of my way
unless you want to get hit
(accidentally on purpose.)
-
You'd always remark that I could handle the wheel,
ever so sweetly,
but this
is what you implied?
-
I knew it was all too much,
trying to balance everything
(Shh! My plate was too full,
each nutriment colliding with another-
the chocolate syrup painted ice cream
enveloped half my dish,
intruding the space against her wish.)
You always seemed to have the cleanest looking plate,
however you continuously allowed me to spill over
onto the rim of your
pristine porcelain, as if
you enjoyed
watching me overflow,
explode.
You never did anything about it,
never cleaned the dishes,
simply watching as various delicacies drew fantasies
right
in
front
of you.
Though those weren't even
close
to my fantasies.
You dream of candy floss nests and gumdrop buttons
whereas I dream of freshly cut watermelons and berries
(please do the dishes
or leave.)

// riding shotgun was the sweetest thing
you said we'd done
right before I floored the brake
and more than sugar
went flying out the window. //

Well then, if we agree, it is not odd
that one man's filth is another's wealth
or that the true pleasures comes from
a magnitude of abnormal achievements;
anticipation of gray shades on human error
is our life's constant coefficient.
Perception betrays with its blindspot:
Fate tracks always meet, not here, but only
in the impossible mind's sight;
intentions beats recognition as we commence
on thin sheens crawling to overtake that lens
where highlight captures pretense cleansing darkness.

So we could stand up, move on, darling, you and I,
until the glare tick out the rest in the worst
nothing changes, for all the blazing of
our drastic style, but leading hands that move
forcefully from adorable to done.
We raise our arguments like a diluted depict
heave to a better angle for screen clarity
shake logic with escape of comfort
and contradict ourselves for humor;then pixels leak
raw wind dries our stand and we put on
the heights as an oath; love is a tinted gloss
who insists her associates play in the rain.

Now you, my sophisticated fading icon,
would you have me carry the dry lands  
Or swallow the future and coat consequences
to store them on a cloud, down
the server in one language:
Drawing vowels from a loop through the dark
we only left with [L.P] played at 3:33 am
should it overwhelm the almost awake town.
cycling phoenix never stops to frame
If it should, should it be real or
should it sketch drunks upon the vignette
and Rands spent in dubious doorways
Our Valentine habits, engraved decoders
dining close to burning candles with our expired heads;
I donate applauds, until the same cause attacks again
scattering image from imagination,
recovering from ghost shots of exposure.

The rise leans down to hook; the resounding leak
in the dustbin sinks and drowns; we consume
divine west and east and sigh
how do you do,
and then how do you do again
to a blind breathing routine
till our harsh melodies reaches
to call for a cut on our restored scenes;
capturing photocopied reflections,
shutter opens where black or white begins
and separate the film from focus:
the philosophy of absolute apertures
exposed in a retina of moralities
which idealist call absolute, and rationalist, myth:
an insight like the prism of mirrors:

The result that mangle direct gaze is flipped,
while knowing the secret of their glaucoma is going;
some day, to move, and drop,
trace a wound that heals collections
only to reopen as flash thickens:
So we shall walk barefoot on chatroom walls
build our bed as high as a dead silhouette;
Duplicating the pain in our own tears:
Today : we start to pay the optic with each infrared,
yet love knows not of perception nor reality above
the simple sum of collages.

In a dusty room, dark, in your heart’s blindspot, right there, behind the fold...

there sits

The untiring, my untying, a flame, fatal, that preys, pierces, pulls and dances down...

down, go down, then see the smoldering and  flowered flame... a fire that passes into once humbled hearts, stuttering till it shoots, straight to a shop work and sunken soul, it presses, presses, push into paste, now all to ash... with ash it chokes, with ash that never ask if it may that blind you... I cough when I remember your scent, choking... choking, choking, bound and blue by all those that dare not defend, those that dare to pretend that they could haunt like you,

haunted damnation  , when I dare to dream that diurnal oasis daydream...

daydream illusions, illusory in that final form, fill up the day, flicker flame, flicker unfaded forever more, moreover may we emerge, emerge again, each day resilient, always arisen, rising again and again unbroken; unbroken and unbound as the spherical shadow sits against an aged and golden summer sky...

hold, held now, the grip, that grip, a grip of a million thoughts, the grip of a gaggle of lunatics; the lunacy of those madmen screaming, maniacal men with their long claws...

“Come now”, I pull, pull away, scratched but unsullied, away with my tense and tethered thoughts, thoughts of a woman; where is she?

“oh woman, woman of pure and pallid beauty; tell me of tomorrow, pretend to portend, promise me it is there burning so still inside you”...

still, still I stood, stood inside that stillness, so sullen and so clear eyed in the realization that, I would eye a thousand faces just to see you...

you, you stole, stole the thunder, and laughed at lightning, with your hips held down, writhing when I witnessed, witnessed and watched you with a holy cutting cold glance, insisting i ”hurt you in a good way”, pleading for more, in the sacramental haze of an eternal disorder...

now willow, wisp, widen, wake and open my once violent, violet, and envied eyes... because I, I was empty, emptied and forever falling, into the gravity of you, you and your irises aflame pulling me hard like 10,000 planets, each with 10,000 suns, sparked when I saw you stroll so serpentine in red *******...

pull, pull back now drawn, drawn in and dripped like warm candle wax... down, down, do it, dance away like those storied flames, for martyrs mind not the Solomon sacrifice of the final flame’s immolation ...

naive, naive as the spring, naive as children caught in an illusory and smokey future... the churlish, chided, child’s lament, lamenting now those souls, our souls, souls sewn cold, souls once so elusive...

trapped in a vacuum

a souls will burn until extinguished... go, gone, gone, unable to burn, to blast a fire, for in a furnace, a furnace gone cold, it’s where we are found **forever jealous of the once animated, deoxygenated unheated and hateful heart

all the things I never said
Your veins are highways of love and I want to drive there and never check my blindspot
I love you
Your eyes are the drug addicts I need to feed
Your mind is a wonder
You are my better, how did I snare you
*I love you

The sky cracks stack until
There’s a legitimate Blindspot
Silver lined with that eye spot
Censor I can place just on
Your stupid ******* face.

twenty, twenty vision
clear insights enable to see
all the stuff coming for  me

excepting my blindspot has
grown awful big about a decades
worth of blinkers, giving me tunnel vision

but there is light, up ahead
small and bright, leading me
away from darkest night
toward daybreak
future bright

step on into the day
make of the future
what we may
twenty twenty vision
all the way

Yeah, I know/
I'm sick of me too/
Wish I could peace out, but/
Stuck with myselves/
Even after death/
Life's a *****, slapping you/
Difficult not to snap/
Turtle with the world on its back/

Falling down the stairs/
On purpose/
Heaven isn't promised, bro/
No pressure, right?/
Just pick up all the broken pieces/
Don't burden other people, but/
My hands are bleeding/
Not asking for help/
And if I don't tell you now/
Then you'll be angrier when you find out/
Lost & found mind out of body/
Thirdeye blindspot is desire/
On repeat; off the deep/
Adventure timebomb/
There is no end/
Pitchfork and knife drawn/

You are what you eat/
Abstracted psychological horror/
You are what you eat/
Abstracted psychological horror./

Followed your heart, followed your feet
Took all the advices you gave me
Pulled me apart, tore me to seams
Waned a silver lining to frame me

Now I don't need to see you smiling
I don't need your hope
I don't need to keep you admiring
Because I'm not playing this skipping rope

Took all the blames and sewed up my thoughts
Limped, is what you waned me to see?
Built up the walls, threw me in
Suffocate, is what you taught me to be keen in

I know you're a doll and you want me to be more
But I can't sell myself and end up like a *****
So take all your closeness, you lost your shot
Now you're nothing more than a blindspot


.

From there? Yeah.
When the glint strikes off the reflective eyelids
all that stands before it is a blindspot
don't stand there waiting to answer or be forgiven
run
run for your ******* life

New boss, old boss, hat in the ring toss
old faithful, fate-fool, a hate tool,
pick an eye, either eye, both eyes
going postal is washed-up, going coastal, old hat
new news, comply on layaway, that'll cost the botha youse
goodwill is taxing, vexing, hacking, give your back-reacting-now that-
dot your I's and mind your tightly wound W's
pension for paperwork is not a fair trade, first laugh is free, next charge though, there goes
how you gonna make a mistake, the takeaway you fake the venom to hide the severed head of the snake away
protecting, projecting losses, greenbacks, stacked in backpacks to resurrect an architect like Imhotep to build projects
in daydreams you can feel the sun off them, in real life you can't see them if you break your necks
competitive incompetence, popping off like water balloons with incontinence
does anything in the whole wide world make a lick of ******* sense?

A man told me he knew the secret to being powerful and making threats,
it's not doing anything, letting their imagination run wild while the other person sweats

and he said so you have until I'm done counting down from five... to be out of range
I looked at him, relaxed and at ease, we were in a wide open space with no cover
Only five?
Yeah?
I watched his eyes
From there?
Yeah.

You are so focused
On something else
On someone else
So far from your reach
So out of your control
Someone who's not looking
Or caring for you
Someone who's not aware
Or concerned for you
Something that you don't have
Something that is not available
To have or to touch

That you are missing
All that is close to you
All that is available, reachable, tangible
You are missing
The joy that comes from appreciating
The peace that comes with satisfaction
The comfort that comes with acknowledging
That you are loved, that you have love
That you are cherished, you are cared for
That you have something, you have them
Right under your nose
Where you made a non existent blindspot
That you may go chasing 'happiness'