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Dennis Scherle Jan 2014
u want more emotion, maybe im just tourchered to the point im just going through the motions praying out there i find a potion to let me relax, maybe stop the wise cracks about how im fat or how minimal the cash is i stack. or maybe the fact when i cut open my vain i just see black no crimson blood just black oozing from the cracks as if my tanned skin is a stone statue starting to crumble under the weight of self loathing. the fact of deep down id rather be a better person but it bugs me i cant afford the fancy clothing, even in our society how we hype up to the idea then it comes to play and no one seems to stay like whatever happened to kony we live amungst phoneys saying their better only to better their pride and maybe to impress a futer bride collecting money only green in there eyes envious of those that accumulate wealth but seem to be blind to those who have nothing pushin it off to someone who has more to give now tell me again wat gives u a greater right to live over the young women even children forced into *** but u need to spend ur check on a fancy rolex because ur life is complex now im not saying im better though i have been gifted with my life but in my heart i still cry everynight because were on borrowed time ive seen people distroy themselves in hate a freind in grade 9 became addicted to******* now shooting ****** in his vein his leather jacked stained skin n bones calling on the phone for his next fix my mom with her slit wrists pretending i dont exist  now is that enough emotion for u after all im still just a kid.
Kimmy-Nichole Jul 2011
so this just in.
last night, after a grueling  day of nanny-ing, I went to  the davis consignment store and broused around   finding some numerous  cute tops and shorts as well as purchasing 2 new books to add to my reading collection ( i just finished the time travelers wife.)
so than  around 4pm  I  was heading to B st  where I   was meeting with my future roomate, who by the was amazingly nice and pretty and has a boyfriend and turns 21 in september. Im so excited to leave parkside apts - living in north davis is such a drag. Central Davis here I come  ( Ill be living   5 minutes to  UC davis, an amazing arbotreum, pools, the davis Arc and frat  row and party city. This is going to be the best thing  that has happened to me.)
So after that  I went back to my  apt  and as giddly as ever, called my mom to  tell her my amazing roomate  news.   ( mY moms finally really proud of me. I am working 2 full time jobs as a nanny  from 8:30 am  to 2:30 pm than my night nanny job  4:30 pm to 5:30 am except on wed thur fridays.)
so it being my night off, i   figured why not go out.  so my apartment neighbor whom i met at the gym friend jesse who is 29, studied as a foreign exchange student in finland for a year, gotten a dui, is a davis townie, went to a  college called will-am-eit  and was in a fraternity out there. he is fun to go out with and bar hop in downtown with; the last time i was  out with jesse, i went to a bar called sophias than later on met up with my ex crush who is this charming dbag from winters named chad and got fun drunk. Well in aims for that spirit again we started off  by drinking and laughing at my apt . we decided to go lay out by the hot tub  and drank beer  being sillly kids. we decided to hit up downtown davis for this bar called the grad. It was beach themed  country line dancing night. Yeah , being alone because  your friend is off showing off his line dancing with precision kinda moves and meeting line dancing babes in bikinis ...awkward for sure. so amungst bying my own 2 beers which were hand picked by my big  and sure of himself bartender, which eventually  led to my  very  interesting night of drunken madness. It kicked off on as previously mentioned on the way to the grad which lead to me leaving with this older woman in a cab to another bar that was supposed to be more enertaining.  I ended up forgetting my id at the grad, my phone was dead and to top it all off  i didnt know anyone s number at the top of my head.  i decided to take matters in to my own feet and chose to hoof it back to my apt on f street. god, what a long and stupering night that was.  when i finally made it, out of exhaustion and drunkness , i  collided onto my neighbors couch still in    last nights outfit. karla  woke me up at 7 :30 and i showered  feeling super ****** and groggy , i couldnt eat or drink. I had work at 8:30. not feeling so hot, i was slowly getting through the day. the kids and i all layed on and under blankets and stuffed animals, and i told stories. it was really cute and relaxing. i love those kids.prior to that i threw up. after that it was time to drop off timothy at therapy, than abigail and abraham at speech therapy. I threw up in the bathroom, and on the sideof the minivan in front of ruth and timothy. ugh.    
so  than after i talked to my neighbor  slash ex boyfriend patrick about getting in connection with a a herb that helps me feel better by increasing my appittie and helping me sleep. he provided wth that special  herb. while sitting and smoking, i felt the spark that we used to have. i confessed to sleeping with a guy i met in newport two weeks ago on the fourth of july when i went back home. patrick told me he has hooked up with this slutty townie girl, and i wish them both std free happyness.

here i am typing away , getting sleepier and sleepier. Tonight will be a  early night indeed. i love my new spirit and i love who i am. i love where i am going. i will not exceed more alcohol than my tiny light weight body can handle.. Well it feels good to write. i know i must get back on that writing more often. until next time,
-Kimmy
For He who's hands are Gods
Drifts wearily
amungst the drugs of men
Crouching the trash heaps
Blending life with death
He does not hope nor linger
To he, time is the wind,
And is of no consequence
Its length,
or your breath
Perfection is not being the best of something, its about the true balance
Within all things.
J Jul 2014
If I tried harder back then
We wouldn't be here
I would be in love
And so would you
The words I wish you knew

So much time has passed
And all I have is regret
We don't have long till you leave
And this is what I long for

Me and you to burn
Brighter than the sun
With what time
We have left
Right now

When you leave so will I
Our sun will emplode
And it will swallow itself up
Slowly losing all its shine

And if will meet in a few years
The sun we left to die will explode
Amungst the night sky
And the remainder of the supernova lights
We shall share till we die
I want to fall hopelessly in love with you. Die when you leave hoping one day we can be together as right now we can't be
Ajmal Jul 2017
Thirst Of Lust
  May I slake thirst of your lust
  which I think should be done at first  
I am the one whose obedience is must
In my action I am the abruptest
Some may not and some may adjust
Some may fall some may not in my crust
Soul is the best friend amungst
Who will take the risk to be analyst
I am the tyrant the most angriest
Neither any one can detect nor arrest
Some may think me the best
But indeed I am the worst
Dont delay in my orders you ablest
Because in my action I am the busiest
I neither believe in communist nor atheist
All are under my wrist
There is no September no august
There is no need to suggest
I am the center of lust                                                             ­                                   
Ranking first in evil contest.
I know secretly
Your damaged
In your mind heavily
Scarred but a savage

My Friend, Why
Did you lie

About how you felt
Misjudged
Wishing your soul could melt
With out a single grudge

About who you are
Strong
Remember just how far
You got before writing your wrong

Into this story we call life
A forever beginning book
Where is that forever ending that made you look
Into this story we call life

My Friend, Why
Did you leave me alone to cry
At your grave
Man through that trauma you was brave
Now im looking at your mistakes
Hope i have what it takes
Hey what ever makes it has to break
So cast me off so i can rest easy amungst these lakes

My Friend
I adore
The pain you took and caused
My Friend
I do more than care
For you id make time simply pause.
Expressing my feelings is what i do and my dear friend it feels like your close to suicide. All i ask one day you read this and you live more to thrive.

— The End —