like the inconstant moon I change,
cyclical about circumstances,
serendipity and fortune exchange
appearances for second chances,

and as we each alter our perception,
we see ourselves as constant,
each and every change in direction
still seems like a straight line

with no more than closer inspection
looking behind to the distant
fading horizon in the failing light
the pattern of circles and spirals

and zigzags, stops and backtracks
a wandering chorus line of fools
all singing things I can’t take back
the realization that I am not an individual
:
but an average of multiple formulas
complex variable algebra and simple subtraction
a vector resulting from many forces
pushing and pulling and thrusts and attractions

the color of the liquid in the test tube
fizzing and changing with every next drop occurring
an organism that adapts to its environment
to thus fill its requirements and its fleeting yearnings

a flock of birds, a can of worms, a herd of cats,
an untamable unit described in terms
of the time it exists in existing- that is
another illustration, another article, at any other time or mood

a crop whose fruitfulness is determined by unusual farmers
one field ploughed, one weeded, one fertilized, one seeded
akin to the Bible, a book of numerous authors that tries to
merge allegories into a useful, enlightening anecdote with which to furnish the brood

flesh, soul, chemical, inspired, mechanical-Angel
a temptable machine whose springs and cogs
could be found to have been hand-wound
at any given time by either His Rival’s or God’s

and if Made in His Image then I must be both
wrathful and loving, vengeful and forgiving,
quick to temper and eternally patient
yet limited in time allowed to be spent living

the difference is- my choiceful subsistence briefly caresses
this quick struggle and my purpose not yet fully defined
would fate’s justice have me on the gallows for my excesses?
or would not passion for the endowment of living grant reprieve?

where is the solace for the incurably ardent?
maniacally spontaneous, courageously aloof
what cheer can be brought to the seers?
dejected clairvoyants, puppets or puppeteers to the truth

however never simultaneously clever are we
always we must be one or the other each seen
though never seemed to be separate things
now see what difficulty wrecks all my dreams
:
catharsis then epiphany then pensive then somber
an artist, a daddy, a mocked captive, an avid doubter
carouse then abolish then regret then absolve
a spouse, a skirmish, an uncommon asset, an outlet resolved

how do I bring about the determination of the jury?
which of the accomplices will abide full recognition
and be he who will stand to read the indistinct verdict
to the culpable crowd assembled in this the trial of alternation

so contempt be then to the court of constancy!
no thing in heaven or earth adheres to its philosophy
render the sentence that I may be found guilty
yet I am consented to return undestroyed, now let the die be cast

these confines beg for stasis I cannot deliver
my cell itself is afloat without a tether
these customs require that I be a quitter
yea though the pendulum returns to the tock once the tic has passed

I’m indebted to the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations, 4th Edition 1996

Ab Imo Pectore

Ab imo pectore,
Blandae mendacia linguae,
Cadit quaestio,
Desunt cetera.
Est modus in rebus.
Faber est quisque fortunae suae,
Gigni de nihilo nihilum, in nihilum nil posse reverti.
Hic finis fandi,
Interdum stultus bene loquitur?
Jacta interdum est alea,
Labuntur et imputantur.
Magni nominis umbra,
Nec scire fas est omnia,
Omne crede diem tibi diluxisse supremun,
Pallida mors aequo pulsat pauperum tabernas regumque turres;
Quid rides, mutato nominee de te fibula narrator,
Res ipsa loquitur.
Solvitur ambulando…
Tempora mutantur, nos et matamur in illis.
Urbi et orbi,
Vestigia nulla retrorsum.


From The Bottom Of The Heart

From the bottom of the heart,  the falsehoods of a smooth tongue,
The question drops, the rest is wanting.
There is a balance in all things, every man is the creator of his own fate.
From nothing, nothing can come, into nothing, nothing can return.
Let there be an end to talking, for who can tell when a fool speaks the truth?
The die is sometimes already cast,
A moment comes and goes, and is laid to our account.
From the smallest shadow to the mightiest name,
No one can claim to know all things,
I believe that every day that dawns may be my last,
Pale death knocks impartially at both poor and rich men’s houses;
Don’t laugh, change the name and the story is yours,
It’s so obvious, it speaks for itself.
As the concept of motion is proven by walking…
So in time all things change, as we must, in time, all change.
And to all the world,
There’s no turning back.

Ab Imo Pectore / From The Bottom Of The Heart

Ab imo pectore,
From the bottom of the heart,
Blandae mendacia linguae,  
The falsehoods of a smooth tongue,
Cadit quaestio,
The question drops,
Desunt cetera.
The rest is found wanting.
Est modus in rebus,
There is a balance in all things,
Faber est quisque fortunae suae.
Every man is the creator of his own fate.
Gigni de nihilo nihilum, in nihilum nil posse reverti.
From nothing, nothing can come, into nothing, nothing can return.  
Hic finis fandi,
Let there be an end to talking,
Interdum stultus bene loquitur?
For who can tell when a fool speaks the truth?
Jacta interdum est alea.
The die is sometimes already cast,
Labuntur et imputantur.
A moment comes and goes, and is laid to our account.
Magni nominis umbra,
From the smallest shadow to the mightiest name,
Nec scire fas est omnia,
No one can claim to know all things,
Omne crede diem tibi diluxisse supremun,
I believe that every day that dawns may be my last,
Pallida  mors aequo pulsat pauperum tabernas regumque turres;
Pale death knocks impartially at both poor man and rich men’s houses;
Quid rides, mutato nominee de te fibula narrator,
Don’t laugh, change the name and the story is yours,
Res ipsa loquitur.
It’s so obvious, that it speaks for itself.
Solvitur ambulando…
As the concept of motion is proven by walking…
Tempora mutantur, nos et matamur in illis.
So in time all things change, as we must, in time, all change.
Urbi et orbi,
And to all the world,
Vestigia nulla retrorsum.
There’s no turning back.


r10.1

maybe you are sad
because your hair is so long and
that’s where sorrow lives,
sleeping sickly and close to your ear
if i could i’d put you on my shoulders
and carry you to the edge of lake powell
in arizona and say look, alea
there is beauty beyond ourselves
and to us it will always remain indifferent

I remember the day you realized you always write about water

and I always write about fire

I also the remember the week I took too much ibuprofen and

slept with my eyes open in the back of your car while

allison stole from the salad bar at whole foods and

here we are on two different continents

writing poems for men on circled corners of maps

you ripple, me ash

Abeja blanca zumbas -ebria de miel- en mi alma
y te tuerces en lentas espirales de humo.

Soy el desesperado, la palabra sin ecos,
el que lo perdió todo, y el que todo lo tuvo.

Última amarra, cruje en ti mi ansiedad última.
En mi tierra desierta eres la última rosa.

Ah silenciosa!

Cierra tus ojos profundos. Allí aletea la noche.
Ah desnuda tu cuerpo de estatua temerosa.

Tienes ojos profundos donde la noche alea.
Frescos brazos de flor y regazo de rosa.

Se parecen tus senos a los caracoles blancos.
Ha venido a dormirse en tu vientre una mariposa de sombra.

Ah silenciosa!

He aquí la soledad de donde estás ausente.
Llueve. El viento del mar caza errantes gaviotas.

El agua anda descalza por las calles mojadas.
De aquel árbol se quejan, como enfermos, las hojas.

Abeja blanca, ausente, aún zumbas en mi alma.
Revives en el tiempo, delgada y silenciosa.

Ah silenciosa!

the sweat cools
where the body overheats
in sudden wakefulness
within the dead of night

no sounds but the heavy breathing
of a startled form beneath the covers
momentarily dazed, unaware of the surroundings
in which it finds itself

eyes shut, it all comes back again
those lucid pictures, vivid sounds
where insects crawl beneath the skin
and one drowns on land

the fault was singular, of course,
a suicide in a fake landscape
a poor show of emotion
where no one may judge

quite often it would happen
in painless reality
where red stains white and
black beats blue

Je suis la Muse, Ta Muse
Ta pudique, Ta sage cornemuse
Sisypha, l 'allumeuse, tisseuse de tes envies,
Je t'enflamme,
Je te seconde,
Je te féconde,
Je suis l 'idée, le mot, le rêve, l'espoir
L'image !
Je craque un mot sur le grattoir
Et la flamme jaillit, tu enfantes un monde
Le feu de ton imagination te rend fébrile

Et je savoure, je me délecte et je me décapsule
Quand sous l 'emprise de cette terrible envie de moi
Religieusement tu bandes, tu gonfles, tu te dilates
Tu brûles d'aller boire au plus profond de moi
Tu aspires à m'aspirer en toi.
J 'appuie à distance sur le détonateur
Tu exploses !

Et moi au **** je danse, je cours, je vole, je souris et je dégouline de poèmes !
Tu sais tout, tu es mon ombre
Tu m'as entendue
Tu m'as vue dans le miroir chanter le vin clairet
Tu as aperçu mes lambeaux de poèmes lubriques
Tu me cherches dans chaque enlacement passionné
Je te cherche aussi
On s'est croisé au pied du Vésuve
Je marchais insouciante
Et tu m'as appelée Gradiva.
Tu vois ?
Même si on ne se voit jamais
On se sera déjà vus !

Je suis ta Muse
Notre amour est ainsi fait
Amour-sourire de Muse et Artiste
Nous nous imbriquons l'un dans l'autre
Toi l 'artiste prodige
et moi la sublime Muse
Jamais je ne me suis doutée que j'avais les pieds aussi beaux !
C'est toi qui les as façonnés ainsi ?

Alea jacta est
C'est le destin qui m'a mis dans ta bouche
Ne te mords pas les lèvres
Accomplis tes quatre-vingt-huit travaux d'Hercule

Je suis la résille de soie grège
Que tu tisses lentement de tes doigts agiles
En mailles losanges ou carrées
Cette résille est digne des Pléiades..
Tu dévides ta navette et au fur à mesure que tu crochètes
Le filet de soie prend forme
Et se fait crespine
Je m'inquiète :

Vas-tu vouloir avec ce filet capturer
Sisypha qui palpite au creux de ma nuque
Pour la garder prisonnière de la cage
De l 'oiseau qui me picore ?

Ou vas-tu
En ceindre mes cheveux
Et les emprisonner
Dans ta tour de soie ?

Ou veux -tu que je le porte
Sous ma bombe de cavalière
chaque fois que je te chevauche
Et que je tente de dresser ta monture
Aux sabots gravés de mon monogramme ?

Ou peut-être fétichiste
Concoctes-tu derrière ces mailles
Une surprise pour Sisypha :
Un petit body décolleté en résille jaune
Et un débardeur en résille noire ?

We once lied of love
you flew in search of green
left me broke and beat
stuck with just a dream

The die has been cast
my desires for you have ceased
trashed read receipts
found loneliness a treat

All roads converge
In Rome, they say
Wild geese do
Stop here on their way
To Libya, to grab a lunch
And to greet their kin
On the Capitol Hill
The church bells do fly
There on the Easter holiday
The weekend to enjoy
And to taste the Dolce Vita
But does the Thirteenth Legion,
Know where it goes,
While marching south
Through January sleet
On Via Flaminia,
Rubicon left past their heels?
I know the dice are cast,
But the men,
Do they know?
Great Caesar,
Respond,
I ask you
Virtuous Gaius Iulius,
Do they know?