They say farmer’s son will learn to take care of seedlings;
smith’s son will learn how to forge and beat the iron;
baker’s son will learn how best to bake
to conquer best the market…

They say some birdies grow up knitting nests;
***’s foals grow up carrying loads;
cubs grow up learning how to roar most

to scare most the jungle…
The blood brothers2 were brought up
like sibling cubs of the lion
as if Mesopotamia was forest.


On birth day3 they learnt to blow lives out of bodies as candles;
a witness will tell how a citizen was received
by Mukhabarat4 waiters
one of such days,
and describe conviviality at Saddam’s
where the evil has born the arch evil5,
and where they learnt the art of making people yell!

At bees biting babies6 Uday was taught to find rejoice;
at parents wearing Adam’s garment7
in front of children
his father’s great power was worth of praise! 8
and he burnt to rule like father or more!



Would the Maker of the Heaven and Earth hold the fit
at the fate of Nahle Sabet9, the cake thrown to swine?
Would Mucius’s10 soul hold the fit
at the fate of Saad Abd al-Razzek Nihaya11
whose medals and stars were made spots
fit to throw to bin after the half of his life
hurled down from the sky?
Would the pearl Ilham Ali al-Azani12 be thrown like dirt to bin,
father’s fear of Allah tried,
and shot like a sneaking thief,
and the abu sarhan 13 stay without a prize,
and cause more devastations in the garden of Allah?

1. The lion and his cubs: Saddam Hussein al-Tikriti and his two sons Uday Saddam Hussein al-Tikriti and Qusay Saddam Hussein al-Tikriti. - 2. The blood brothers: The criminal brothers. Though crimes committed by Uday, the first born of Saddam Hussein, have been the most reported by media, his young brother was not less cruel. In April 26, 1998 he ordered Colonel Hassan al-Amri to ****** on a grand scale at Abu Ghraib, Iraq’s largest prison, and more than 1,500 prisoners were all massacred the next day. – 3. On birthday: Reports say that Saddam’s sons received pistols as presents on their birthday! – 4. Mukhabarat: Saddam’s secret police. – 5. Where the evil has born the arch evil: such is the description of Saddam’s house. He taught criminality to his sons, and his first born became crueller than father. Uday told Latif Yahia, his body double, whenever he seemed weak or squeamish as a child his father would beat him with an iron bar and then force him to watch videos of prisoners being tortured. – 6. Bees biting babies: This is one of the tortures applied: naked children in a room with a bee hive, being stung hundreds of times, and their parents were forced to watch behind glasses! -7. Parents wearing Adam’s garment: men forced to **** their wives in front of their horrified young children! - 8. His father’s great power was worth of praise: First you note the irony. Uday told Latif Yahia, “Just wait until I become president. I’ll be crueller than my father ever was…” - 9. Nahle Sabet: A pretty architectural student. The girl resisted and rejected Uday publically; he threw her naked to his pack of wild dogs which ripped her to pieces while he watched, drinking champagne and laughing! Here is the testimony by Latif Yahia: «It was the look he was sporting on a crisp, dry winter day in 1987 when he drove around the campus of the University of Baghdad looking for action (for women to ****). He caught sight of Nahle Sabet, a pretty architecture student from a respected middle-class Christian family he’d noticed when he occasionally attended classes. He cruised past her slowly now, honking, trying to get her attention. She refused to even look in his direction. Two days later Sabet was a few blocks from her family’s home in a Baghdad suburb when a Mercedes sedan screeched to a halt on the sidewalk in front of her. Two men in dark suits got out and identified themselves as secret police. They told her she was wanted at headquarters for questioning and led her into the car. Headquarters turned out to be a farm Uday owned several miles from Baghdad. The frightened girl was hustled into a drawing room, where Uday sat at an antique desk. “You’re very lucky,” he said. “I’ve chosen you as my new girlfriend.” “You’re insane,” Sabet stammered. “I want to go home!” “Strip her,” Uday ordered his guards. The burly men pounced on her and ripped at her clothes until she was cowering naked on the floor. Uday towered over her, unrolling his favourite wire cable. “First I will beat you. Then, if you’re good, I’ll allow you to please myself and my men.” It took Uday and his men almost three months to break Sabet’s spirit. Then Uday was tired of her. Her face was ruined; her body was a mass of bruises. He had the guards take her out to the kennels where he kept his attack dogs. He’d told the keepers several days before to stop feeding them. Nahle Sabet was then smeared with honey and tossed into the kennels, where all evidence of the crime disappeared.» – 10. Mucius, (Gaius Mucius Scaevola): God of bravery and heroism in Ancient Roma. – 11. Saad Abd al-Razzek Nihaya: An Iraqi army officer decorated for bravery in the Iran-Iraq War but that didn’t help him or his new wife. Uday saw the couple walking together, took the girl to a hotel suite. She pleaded with him not to defile her - she had only been married yesterday. Uday beat her until she was ****** then ***** her. Then they heard a long, piercing scream, then silence. The girl had jumped from the seventh floor. Her husband cursed Uday, and he was soon sentenced to death for ‘insulting the president.’ – 12. Ilham Ali al-Azani: Uday always slept with the winner of the Miss Iraq contest. But when attractive student Ilham Ali Al-azami won she turned him down. Uday abducted Miss Iraq to his palace. He ***** her over and over again and then as ‘punishment for her defiance’ allowed all his bodyguards to **** her for an entire week. Then Uday circulated a rumour that the girl was a **** and let her go. The girl’s father, a devote Muslim, was so ashamed that he killed his own daughter. When the aging father appeared at Uday’s palace Uday had the old man shot.- 13. Abu sarhan: Uday seemed proud of his reputation and called himself abu sarhan, Arabic for "wolf".

Excerpt of Gallows Bird in Heaven, http://www.amazon.fr/Gallows-Bird-in-Heaven-ebook/dp/B005JKMW66

Source of the note: www.meritummedia.com, visited 2013/05/19

Dr. F. Wilhem discovered it by accident you see?
   The first man downloaded was no longer man.
He suffered dearly until the plug was pulled,
    and we started over again; with biologists.
Geneticists, Embryonticians, TransEugenecists,
    all celebrated the new fast-growing body.
No more deaths at old age expiry, on battlefields.
    for a price all would live eternally; eternity here.

It did not work. The bodies worked, the software recorded
    but the people were insanely bi-polar. Insane in fact.
Until we switched the torso and genetics in tandem.
   then somehow the surviving person retained all memories!
They were in fact; themselves! Just in a different gendered body?
   Unfortunately for everyone this was a major psychological shock.
Unexplainable, sure, evolution took four billion years so...
    ...more time, more time, more experimentation is all we need.

Wilhelm changed it all.
When he added the shock,
added the <human> response,
turning the machines into
Humans.

They are truly A.I.
...verily human in fact.
Animal-ish, peaceful
then angry, terrible or
violent.

Artificially Intelligent;
Humans.



"What good is it to change a person,
              ...merely into someone else?" -Al Abd Azaz


To see beneath the surface,
and know the ocean tydes.

To see beneath the surface,
and know the ocean tydes.

To see beneath the surface,
and know the ocean tydes.

I

As I ride, as I ride,
With a full heart for my guide,
So its tide rocks my side,
As I ride, as I ride,
That, as I were double-eyed,
He, in whom our Tribes confide,
Is descried, ways untried
As I ride, as I ride.

II

As I ride, as I ride
To our Chief and his Allied,
Who dares chide my heart’s pride
As I ride, as I ride?
Or are witnesses denied—
Through the desert waste and wide
Do I glide unespied
As I ride, as I ride?

III

As I ride, as I ride,
When an inner voice has cried,
The sands slide, nor abide
(As I ride, as I ride)
O’er each visioned Homicide
That came vaunting (has he lied?)
To reside—where he died,
As I ride, as I ride.

IV

As I ride, as I ride,
Ne’er has spur my swift horse plied,
Yet his hide, streaked and pied,
As I ride, as I ride,
Shows where sweat has sprung and dried,
—Zebra-footed, ostrich-thighed—
How has vied stride with stride
As I ride, as I ride!

V

As I ride, as I ride,
Could I loose what Fate has tied,
Ere I pried, she should hide
As I ride, as I ride,
All that’s meant me: satisfied
When the Prophet and the Bride
Stop veins I’d have subside
As I ride, as I ride!

KUSTA BEN LUKA is my name, I write
To Abd Al-Rabban; fellow-roysterer once,
Now the good Caliph's learned Treasurer,
And for no ear but his.
Carry this letter
Through the great gallery of the Treasure House
Where banners of the Caliphs hang, night-coloured
But brilliant as the night's embroidery,
And wait war's music; pass the little gallery;
Pass books of learning from Byzantium
Written in gold upon a purple stain,
And pause at last, I was about to say,
At the great book of Sappho's song; but no,
For should you leave my letter there, a boy's
Love-lorn, indifferent hands might come upon it
And let it fall unnoticed to the floor.
pause at the Treatise of parmenides
And hide it there, for Caiphs to world's end
Must keep that perfect, as they keep her song,
So great its fame.
When fitting time has passed
The parchment will disclose to some learned man
A mystery that else had found no chronicler
But the wild Bedouin.  Though I approve
Those wanderers that welcomed in their tents
What great Harun Al-Rashid, occupied
With Persian embassy or Grecian war,
Must needs neglect, I cannot hide the truth
That wandering in a desert, featureless
As air under a wing, can give birds' wit.
In after time they will speak much of me
And speak but fantasy.  Recall the year
When our beloved Caliph put to death
His Vizir Jaffer for an unknown reason:
"If but the shirt upon my body knew it
I'd tear it off and throw it in the fire.'
That speech was all that the town knew, but he
Seemed for a while to have grown young again;
Seemed so on purpose, muttered Jaffer's friends,
That none might know that he was conscience-struck --
But that s a traitor's thought.  Enough for me
That in the early summer of the year
The mightiest of the princes of the world
Came to the least considered of his courtiers;
Sat down upon the fountain's marble edge,
One hand amid the goldfish in the pool;
And thereupon a colloquy took place
That I commend to all the chroniclers
To show how violent great hearts can lose
Their bitterness and find the honeycomb.
"I have brought a slender bride into the house;
You know the saying, ""Change the bride with spring.''
And she and I, being sunk in happiness,
Cannot endure to think you tread these paths,
When evening stirs the jasmine bough, and yet
Are brideless.'
"I am falling into years.'
"But such as you and I do not seem old
Like men who live by habit.  Every day
I ride with falcon to the river's edge
Or carry the ringed mail upon my back,
Or court a woman; neither enemy,
Game-bird, nor woman does the same thing twice;
And so a hunter carries in the eye
A mimic of youth.  Can poet's thought
That springs from body and in body falls
Like this pure jet, now lost amid blue sky,
Now bathing lily leaf and fish's scale,
Be mimicry?'
"What matter if our souls
Are nearer to the surface of the body
Than souls that start no game and turn no rhyme!
The soul's own youth and not the body's youth
Shows through our lineaments.  My candle's bright,
My lantern is too loyal not to show
That it was made in your great father's reign,
And yet the jasmine season warms our blood.'
"Great prince, forgive the freedom of my speech:
You think that love has seasons, and you think
That if the spring bear off what the spring gave
The heart need suffer no defeat; but I
Who have accepted the Byzantine faith,
That seems unnatural to Arabian minds,
Think when I choose a bride I choose for ever;
And if her eye should not grow bright for mine
Or brighten only for some younger eye,
My heart could never turn from daily ruin,
Nor find a remedy.'
"But what if I
Have lit upon a woman who so shares
Your thirst for those old crabbed mysteries,
So strains to look beyond Our life, an eye
That never knew that strain would scarce seem bright,
And yet herself can seem youth's very fountain,
Being all brimmed with life?'
"Were it but true
I would have found the best that life can give,
Companionship in those mysterious things
That make a man's soul or a woman's soul
Itself and not some other soul.'
"That love
Must needs be in this life and in what follows
Unchanging and at peace, and it is right
Every philosopher should praise that love.
But I being none can praise its opposite.
It makes my passion stronger but to think
Like passion stirs the peacock and his mate,
The wild stag and the doe; that mouth to mouth
Is a man's mockery of the changeless soul.'
And thereupon his bounty gave what now
Can shake more blossom from autumnal chill
Than all my bursting springtime knew.  A girl
Perched in some window of her mother's housc
Had watched my daily passage to and fro;
Had heard impossible history of my past;
Imagined some impossible history
Lived at my side; thought time's disfiguring touch
Gave but more reason for a woman's care.
Yet was it love of me, or was it love
Of the stark mystery that has dazed my sight,
perplexed her fantasy and planned her care?
Or did the torchlight of that mystery
Pick out my features in such light and shade
Two contemplating passions chose one theme
Through sheer bewilderment? She had not paced
The garden paths, nor counted up the rooms,
Before she had spread a book upon her knees
And asked about the pictures or the text;
And often those first days I saw her stare
On old dry writing in a learned tongue,
On old dry ******* that could never please
The extravagance of spring; or move a hand
As if that writing or the figured page
Were some dear cheek.
Upon a moonless night
I sat where I could watch her sleeping form,
And wrote by candle-light; but her form moved.
And fearing that my light disturbed her sleep
I rose that I might screen it with a cloth.
I heard her voice, "Turn that I may expound
What's bowed your shoulder and made pale your cheek
And saw her sitting upright on the bed;
Or was it she that spoke or some great Djinn?
I say that a Djinn spoke.  A livelong hour
She seemed the learned man and I the child;
Truths without father came, truths that no book
Of all the uncounted books that I have read,
Nor thought out of her mind or mine begot,
Self-born, high-born, and solitary truths,
Those terrible implacable straight lines
Drawn through the wandering vegetative dream,
Even those truths that when my bones are dust
Must drive the Arabian host.
The voice grew still,
And she lay down upon her bed and slept,
But woke at the first gleam of day, rose up
And swept the house and sang about her work
In childish ignorance of all that passed.
A dozen nights of natural sleep, and then
When the full moon swam to its greatest height
She rose, and with her eyes shut fast in sleep
Walked through the house.  Unnoticed and unfelt
I wrapped her in a hooded cloak, and she,
Half running, dropped at the first ridge of the desert
And there marked out those emblems on the sand
That day by day I study and marvel at,
With her white finger.  I led her home asleep
And once again she rose and swept the house
In childish ignorance of all that passed.
Even to-day, after some seven years
When maybe thrice in every moon her mouth
Murmured the wisdom of the desert Djinns,
She keeps that ignorance, nor has she now
That first unnatural interest in my books.
It seems enough that I am there; and yet,
Old fellow-student, whose most patient ear
Heard all the anxiety of my passionate youth,
It seems I must buy knowledge with my peace.
What if she lose her ignorance and so
Dream that I love her only for the voice,
That every gift and every word of praise
Is but a payment for that midnight voice
That is to age what milk is to a child?
Were she to lose her love, because she had lost
Her confidence in mine, or even lose
Its first simplicity, love, voice and all,
All my fine feathers would be plucked away
And I left shivering.  The voice has drawn
A quality of wisdom from her love's
Particular quality.  The signs and shapes;
All those abstractions that you fancied were
From the great Treatise of parmenides;
All, all those gyres and cubes and midnight things
Are but a new expression of her body
Drunk with the bitter sweetness of her youth.
And now my utmost mystery is out.
A woman's beauty is a storm-tossed banner;
Under it wisdom stands, and I alone --
Of all Arabia's lovers I alone --
Nor dazzled by the embroidery, nor lost
In the confusion of its night-dark folds,
Can hear the armed man speak.

Captured in the psych ward part 5


You see Ron cooper and his ex Sally went on a cruise around noumea and New Caledonia and they really enjoyed that a lot and while they were on that cruise, brad was in a fowl tenoer cause everyone was watching the shows he doesn't wanna watch and Robert told brad that in life **** happens and brad said ******* and started to argue with the nurses saying he is the Buddhist messiah and needs to be given a special drug to take him to nirvana and he had a smart alek nurse say, I ain't religious, so I don't care and I think nirvana is a rock band not eternity ok patty walked in and said, I wanna see the nurse. And when the nurse came patty said, I have just came from Washington DC
And I saw president Obama and introduced mysrlf and he was proud to meet good old George Washington. You see. Well anyway thank you for that ticket to the states, it was muck appreciated and
Martin Kelly was banging the wall very loudly and saying you **** you **** you **** and Anne who was on the other side said as she walked past said you fucken stop banging on the wall you kid grabber or phedaphile yeah stop banging ya phedaphile or I wlll bash you up, I am going to bash you up, you see you can't hide here forever, one day the hospital will say your fit to go home but when I see you our there. Mate I will bash ya ****, ya stupid ****** phedaphile and Robert got up to take a **** and they bought lunch out and a fight between Anne and brad and Susan started to erupt and the nurses were having a hard time, they had to bring in the doctors with the ****** and lock them in their rooms abs Ron and and Sally are having a great time in New Caledonia waking around and Ron'a leg is getting better and you see Ron and Sally are really beginning to hit it off as they are in a pub having a scotch and back at the HDU. Brad and Anne were cursing at each other through the walls but both wanted enough power to break the walls
But they couldn't hear each other cause thru were on the opposite sides if each other and Susan went our and said shut up abe went over to the TV and said to Robert, we are watching TV, please don't talk to me. I ain't into talking to kids, so just keep your conversation. To a minimum and Patru roe said.  How about you shut up Susan, Robert is a funny little kid, I line him and dusab said ******* ya **** and then Kate walked around the whole psych ward and as she passed brads room she said. Why don't you shut the **** up snd Ron and Sally were having inter course in the cruise and
The new patient was being driven by the police to the HDU but this was going to be a strange situation you see young 19 year old jack Drendlw had ******* a 10 year old who teased him and it ended up killing him abd to that day the police have been trying to crack this ****** case and the boys parents were told that jack is mentally ill and isn't going to jail
And going  to the HDU and the boys parents couldn't except it so they stole a police paddy wagon dressed up as police men and took jack hostage saying he is going to the HDU and instead they took jack into
Their house and tied him up in their sons room and this was part of their plan to really make Jack suffer for what he did /and this is going to be sweet revenge and back at the hospital when they got the phonecall saying that jack wasn't there, well they rang the police and yes they knew where he lived but it would be a nightmare to get there and the next day Ron and Sally's ship was arriving into Sydney harbour and when they arrived there, Ron said goodbye to Sally who lived in Sydney as she drove him to the airport and then Ron boarded the plane for Melbourne and when he touched down, in Melbourne Ron gor his luggage and gor a taxi home
And dropped off his bags and before he unpacked he put the 3-00 news on nine and heard about jack being tortured by his victims parents but the police said jack was supposed to be at the rmh HDU  and Ron went straight there to see if everything is alright and he got theu and clocked in and went to the HDU and said what had happened, how did thus one fall through the cracks and the nurses seid that the family of the victim didn't like the idea of him bring sent here. Ya see it's too nice for him and Ron said they can't think they taking the law in their own hands like this and Ron went into the HDU to check our the patients and
Saw Robert and patty in rte common room and Susan and Kate knitting together in the dining room and Kate asked how was your cruise and Ron said, it was ****** good and my leg is healed and are you feeling alright
And they said yeah and then went to solitary to say hi to Martin and George and Anne and they said ******* **** and ajnne said did ya enjoy ya cruise and Ron said I Did and them said hi to brad and brad said ******* and when he found our it was Ron, the first question he asked was how was your cruise and do you know it's great that you can go on a cruise whole we are locked in here, you see you are like fucken Rupert Murdoxh with those poor foxtel suckers and then the dinner cart was coming out and Ron clocked off and went home and made some stir fry
And Singapore noodles and looked our the window and two young people were having a domestic and at first Ron said, I roll leave then alone but suddenly the bloke gor out
His gun and threatened to **** her and calked the cops and went down
To save the woman and the man has paranoid schizophrenia which was ****** obvious and it took 25 minutes for the cops to arrive and when they did the man was arrested and sent to the staton and the lady thanked Ron and Ron asked are you going to be ok and and she said yeah. And Ron went up yo her unit and sat on the couch and watched the TV and fell asleep on the couch
He has had a hard day


Sent from my iPhone

CAN THIS MARRIAGE SURVIVE.
I MUST BE A FOOL
HOW COULD YOU LOVE ME
AND CHOCK ME TOO.
HOW AM I THE *****
BUT I AM SO KIND
I NEVER CALL YOU NAMES LOOK AT YOUR SPINE. LOOK AT YOUR LIFE NOW LOOK AT MINE. I'M NO BETTER THAN YOU.
LOOK AT OUR LIFE.
WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH
I DIDN'T SHOT YOU SOMEONE ELSE DID. I DIDN'T RAISE YOU TO HIT AND HATE WOMEN SOMEONE ELSE DID . I NEVER CALLED YOU NAMES WHY CAN'T YOU STOP TREATING ME THAT WAY...
I HAVE YOU YOUR WEDDING RING BACK ABD SAID WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE I'M A GOOD WIFE GIVE IT BACK.
YOU FOUND YOUR PLIERS ABD DECIDED YOU TAKE THAT.
BROKEN GONE MY WEDDING
THE ONE OBJECT BETWEEN ME YOU AND GOD. NIT A SECOND TO THINK ABOUT IT. BROKEN ABD GONE....

HOURS LATER YOU TEXT ME WE CAN FIX THIS CALL ME BACK.
CAN THIS MARRIAGE SURVIVE
SOMEONE WRITE BACK

upstairs and downstairs, like a frazzled owl character in my third-grade reader
in the doorway of my 200-level on sub-Sahara where we talk only of Nigeria
holding the elevator for my superior in the lobby of a too-tall edifice to man

a college student.
an ABD.
intern.

backstage at your high school graduation ceremony, your mortarboard won't stay on your head
in a food court where your mother doesn't get it when you say you can't wear pants anymore, or get your bimonthly haircut
when you're skirting the poverty line after your family business was sued but your FAFSA says parent #1 earns six figures

initiate.
neophyte.
not-quite-other.

the female body as a threshold between worlds, channel betwixt boundaries
Schrodinger's cat simultaneously in separation and marginal phases according to van Gennep
divorce papers signed but not sent, enclosed in manila at the bottom of a cherrywood desk

continuum.
spectrum.
a line without points.

When you get to that point
When you know that you've hit the bottom
And you can't get back up by yourself
You turn to the one you trust the most
The one you love the most
The only one who could help you
And you tell her
And she pushed you away
And she didnt believe you
And she said she was tired of putting up with all of your ****
Abd she said she knows she will be the ******* enemy in the end
And she was sick of it.
No more, she said
So she left you
Left you alone
More alone than ever
And then you think
Then you realize you really have hit the lowest possible point
The lowest point in your whole life
Then you realize your graph doesnt change
Your line never got above the worst
It was always at the bottom
It was only now you realize that you were there the whole time
So you do the only thing to fix it

Why be alive anyway if death was just the same, but the pain will go away.
Forever.

captured in the psych ward, the day they got the school bully from the 1980s



you see tom kennersin was the biggest bully of the 1980s and he wanted to get away

with it, so much, he told his victims if they tell anyone, he will punch them 3 times over

and the police, on the night they caught him, thought tom was a bully and not mentally ill

but after reading about his case in the paper, ron thought, he can save tom from prison

with the right medication, and if he bullies anyone at the HDU, ron said he will give his a

big dose of ******, and besides which ron was confident that he can reformed, and ron

went to his usual cafe to buy coffee and bacon and eggs and then rang the police to find out

whether tom can be put on ant-psychotic medication and police said we will see what we can do,

and ron left the cafe to go to the hospital and the other nurses didn’t share ron’s enthusuissm

about tom coming to the HDU because he needs to be medicated because his crimes date back

to the 1980s, and as soon as he started work tom was put in the HDU, and got in a conversation

with charlie chaplin about all the silent movies he did, and ron took tom aside to talk to him about

what triggers him off, and tom said, when he was a child, he heard voices from computer geeky adults

saying kidnap the bully tommy, kidnap the bully tommy and if tom tries to bully us, we will tie his hands

and legs together, and tom said when he was a child he was bullied by a man who impersonates different

people just like him, because by impersonating the different people, he had it in his mind to one day kidnap

them and tease them good, and the man will say come pn get the geek, kidnap him punch him in the gut

and tom said since that day tom thought everyone wanted to bully as well as fight and tom would bully someone

and go heh heh heh i got ya, you don’t know where your latest meal is coming from, and the voices were driving him mad

but telling his parents wasn’t an option, so he decided to take out all his frustration on all his victims, but he wanted

everyone to do as people say, but ron said, how about now, do you want to bully now, and what brings you in here

and tom said, i bashed my woman, and i haven’t heard whether she woke up or not and ron asked, why did you bash her

and tom said she planted voices in my head saying, if we can get tom off the couch, we won’t need to be little school kids

and it will be easy for us to move on, and ron said, are you sure they are bad voices, they are telling you that they are move on

and tom said, are you calling me a liar, and ron said, no, but you must get the voices out of your head, what do you do to fill in time

at home, and tom said, i am an artist and a writer and a youtube helper which means, i read stuff on youtube and people watch and comment

and, doc, i have 20,000 views on my opinion  on juvenile crime, and i have had bad replies saying i committed a crime when i was young

so why can’t they,tom said, my parents were so strict, my only source of fun is going out with bernie my nerdy friend and my fists got me what

i want at school, and ron asked, tom, did you ever bash bernie and tom said once or twice, but they were friendly fights, and every time

tom abd bernie went out, the people were driving in their cars saying, your getting kidnapped now, kidnapped, is what will happen to you

and ron said, you are a bully and a big bloke, so why are you worried about people kidnapping you and tom said, because of all the bad stuff

that i did, people who are bigger than me, could throw a bag over me and **** me, and doc, i don’t want to die, no way no fear

and i want you to fucken get these voices out of my head because i might’ve been a bully but  in ever killed nobody, and ron said

i think you are suffering in your voices and, i will put you on a drug called seroquel to control these horrible voices out of your head

and tom stopped talking to ron and went over to patty roe who said he was george washington and tom said, shut up pipsqueak

in a real squeaky voice, at 3.30 pm tom joined a HDU hearing voices group where he learnt a lot and at 5.00pm ron bought the dinners out

and tom said, do you expect me to eat this trash and ron said, if you don’t eat this, you don’t eat, you go without and tom ate it, and like all people

hates psych ward food and then at 7.15 pm, rom bought out the medications, and then clocked off and bought pizza and lost himself in front of the box

and the next day tom was getting frustrated until ron turned up and today ron thought that tom could enjoy  the art group in the HDU art space

and befotre tom said no, ron thought, the more activities he does, the sooner he could get out and ron gave him some seroquel  and said

to ron, i was asked to take drugs once from a mate named brian, but i ******* away from there and i never took drugs again but i still bullied

anyone who got in my way, but then at the age 0f 33, tom lost both his parents in a car accident and ron bought tom into the art group which tom enjoyed

a lot, and in the afternoon tom got in a fist fight with ronald because of a difference of opinion on the news and ron gave them both some valiu,

which makes them wake up just before dinner and when ron bought the medications out,it took 34 minutes and he clocked off and retired to the couch

with microwave popcorn and microwave pizza and tom kept the HDU awake trying to bully to get what he wants.

I'm doing this to you.
Not because the vows states too.
But because I want too.

My pledge to you at this moment.
Is to love you.
Go out of my way in terms of pleasing you.

Whther it through work.
Whether it through many things.
My pledge is to love you.

Ill be your soldier of defense.
When trouble comes your way.
Cause my pledge is to protect you.
From any harm coming your way.

It could be your friends.
Or family trying to harm you.
I just know.
My pledge is to protect you.

We will put up a united front.
Who barriers are hard to tear down?
They will come to respect the way we stand firm.

Just believe.
These words I'm saying.
My true vows to you.

Of course if you're sick.
I'll be your doctor.
I go out of my way to heal you.
Abd care for you.
It's just the thing true love makes you do.

I won't run like others.
Cause I pledged to love you.

Any second.
Any moment.

The men behind the mask,
that Is my face
have required that I give everyone here
a small update
see not everything I write
Is a result of my own imagination
sometimes I just use the people residing up here
For some measure of inspiration,
NA is me normally and naturally,
it's no longer a character or a concept
but just me on reality.
now I've got to let him out of His Cage.

ALRIGHT JIM YOU CAN COME OUT TO PLAY

Hello I'm Jim I'm sure we haven't met I often use hip-hop to tell of our struggles and Regrets I expect that you'll guess that I was behind the freestyles that were posted here once upon a time but then that's how I rhyme internal and external my microphone skills are ****** like the infernal souls of the restless and the wicked I'll spit ballistics abd the evidence will support that you risked it by battling with me
Next up?
I believe that's me..
OrionThaReject light up the Mic for the symphony

OrionThaReject is my name
being seriously depressed is my game,
I'm usually the sad writings
that pop up on this page
along with loneliness, depression,
and occupational rage
I'm engaged to my tears as they were more faithful than most
so if you like darkness, I hope to me you'll Play host

Well there you have it dear reader
you've met my constructs that are about impossible to destroy without holy water and Ether
anyway, reading my work you should be able to tell who's who
Because the inside of my brain is more messed up than the San Diego zoo

And thats a good thing
Right now and so.....
You never were the one
yes...I knew it years ago
I beat upon my own ****** drum
Make my own movie in my head
And never dwell on useless things
Like everything you said
No I will swallow what I choose
And spit out all the rest
And know each thing inside and out
Before deeming which is best
I can swing these hips of mine
In ways you've never seen
And this heart you claim as yours
You've no clue where it has been
Or of one who touched me deeper
So much deeper than you could
Nor of the nightmares that I mimic
Much more often than I should  







Abd

Innocence, the idea
Of a pure white cloth
Radiating in all its purity
But mine is stained
With the most gruesome tie dye

Black edged holes
That burn against stark white
Like emptiness in my soul

Red and pink stains
From the lust and desire
That burns like a sinful fire

Green smudges
Of greed so vast
Abd envy so deep
it consumes me

Brown spots
Not to be glorified by poetry
Just to be called the **** in life

Purple and blue
Not for the sadness
But for the cuts and bruises
The ones unto others and to myself

My flag does not wave
In glorious white
Its purity is stained
With the dye of life

A companion poem to:
When Love Grows Old [1]




a differing perspective,
liking the eye opening
view this occluded,
cloudy closed Saturday,
a morning gray, early days,
it comes with opportunities
aplenty & new word combinations
in a new world awaiting a Magellan
I spy discoverer, and
we
two
have more than 150 years
existence tween us and that
makes me grin, because I anointed
her to a new position yesterday:
Chief Technology Officer

the very expensive machine
that supplies us with energizing
fresh plasma, clean blood invigorating, without which
we could nary drag our antiquated
bodies to the next day,
got on the phone, dialed an
800 number,
stuck het hand deep into it's gizzard innards, and released the
machina from it looping flashing
display of displaying its non-cooperation and its message that
It was unwell, abd she operated,
and made out coffee machine well
again



snd gave us this Sabbath, a reason to be thankful having righted this
left footed poet to a younger
poet boy~man
again, a gain!

The problem with being strong is no aids you when your weak
the problem with being small is people always attack the meek

the flaw in being ambitious is you won't have many friends
the flaw in having no hustle is your monetary troubles won't end

The trade off in being quiet is no one will care what you say
the trade off in being a perfectionist only occurs in one bad day

What you give up when you love too much is the curse of the good hearted,
because when you love so much abd they leave you, your mind sinks into places uncharted

It seems sometimes you can't win for losing,
in this crazy thing we call life,
however I didn't mention being a poet,
you'll always win putting feelings into rhyme ;)

hey [delete]

i was wondering, how are you? [delete]

you keep asking me what i want to do about our current situation but every time i go to tell you the truth you tell me you love her [delete]

i love you [delete]

i love you [delete]

i love you [delete]

its currebtly 2:38 abd i am sooooo drunk and its fuxking crazy bexause every thing is so blurry righht now but my love for you [delete]

i hope she makes you happy [delete]

hey, we havent spoken in a while and i just wanted you to know that im doing a lot better. less alcohol and all that. i just wanted to say thank you for all that youve done to help me [delete]

i dont love you anymore but i dont think we should be friends because i know i would again [delete]

**** i still love you [delete]

please just talk to me. or you know what, dont. i need to not need you anymore. i need to be happy for once in my ******* life. so tell me you hate me and that you love her and always will. because i need to move on but i cant while youre still in my life [delete]

goodbye sean *[delete]

The fun I had at my new school




You see as I entered my new school, I was given the red carpet
By a friend who grabbed me by the neck and gave me tickle torture
And some of the older girls were saying keep away from me Brian Allan
And just muck with the boys, and then after that I listened to the 70s and 80s
Music on the boom box and I really wanted to hear it, he played songs from
AC/DC, and also from the red hot chilli peppers, and even the best from Billy
Ray Cyrus, and then some of the other boys spoke to me about going bowling
And others spoke to me about getting playboys, and also after that the girls
Were teasing me because I went to bed early, but I wanted to function
Well, so I can feel good and also some of the other families picked on me
Just because I was playing outside with my brother, especially when I was having fun
Playing football, you see back in my previous life, I played in the SANFL and
I don't have to worry about not playing footy in this life and I hear everybody treating
Me like an old fucken fogie, just because I want to go to bed abd get ready for work,
You see my friends are saying to me, through houses, things like, imagine what I would say
If I,,,, and he was so determined to treat me like a koomarri man,,even if I am still cool
And I know if he is still trying to tease me like that, he is living in 1987, where he is looking like a total ****** fucken ******, even if he ain't really saying it, but if he is, it just goes to show, that he is still living back in 1987, where he was actually very hip, but as a natural
Fact, dudes, I don't ever see him out, so I don't want to worry about lasers like him anymore, because, really, yes we had fun times, but, I mean, I have to move on, and if I don't see him again, well, dudes, so be it, he was fun, but I ain't jittering for him, no fucken way, I see visions of him trying to contact my brother through houses, and saying the kinds of things he said to me, he said, mate, don't be like Brian lately, I don't want to teaee Brian really, it just that he is unaware of the kind of old fogie, we treated him like, and also, I ain't a yeah mate yeah kid either, cause if he doesn't answer the phone, which I won't, it's his choice, you see, sometimes when he was young, he was too shy, and I wouldn't mind him hanging with me, but, he seemed to enjoy the family life better, but I never realised he didn't like Lyle, but, no, I don't think he is like Lyle, I want him to go to bed, because, if he works, he needs to sleep, to get rid of any sign of tiredness to face the day at work, you see, sometimes I hear my father and mother teasing me, because I am obsessed with evercise, and also I am obsessed with arty things, and I know dad isn't into art, but also Pat wasn't into art either, but I only want to muck with adults with an interest in art and not the rich ones, I am very interested in having art exhibitions showing off al, my art, and also I know what all my art is about, and a lot if it, is the fun times I had with my friends at school, I love art and I love to put on an art exhibition, and I want people to understand me for the artist I am now, and not the ****** I was in the past. I am aware that people are teasing me, but you can teaee me all you like, but who gives a flying ****, oh yeah, dudes, get ******, mate, get ****** mate yeah man, as you go down the dunny can, and that girl says, we're not mucking with you Brian Allan, no Brian Allan, we're not mucking with you, and the Canberra crowd says, your still like the kids, man,,don't try and be like us, I don't wanna do that again, neh, your still like us, ya ****** buddy, Bri,  urn, so sit there Bri,    Urn and do your stories, you see mate, your still not like us, mate, you are still an old fogie, cause you keep leaving me on my lonesome , and I will say, come on, you poor little baby, I am leaving you on your own, what's wrong little Patty, are you worried that I am not mucking with you, I went to pubs and danced with the chicks, I am still a ******, dude but I don't care, come on Patty, call me a loser, come on mate, call me a loser, come on mate, call me a loser, and then Pat says, I might kidnap him in a minute, but It was only Pats voice, in fact, it was Steven Bradley, who
Noticed my last life, Graham Thorne, jittering for his sister like a boy, and Steven Bradley has kept me in, so I wouldn't be a young dude, you see he went, trying to be a young dude, trying to be a young dude,,trying to be a young dude, cause you are still a ****** man,
So sit there, Bri.   Urn and don't move a muscle, you ain't a young dude anymore, so u don't want to tease you Bri. Urn, I just want you to lighten up a bit, because, get ****** buddy, yeah yer mate, your like us, but I might yell out get ****** Brian every time he jitters from now on, especially at work, but he is allowed to have music on, but, you know, mate, we ain't really teasing him, and  don't want to tease him, by ringing him up, cause I have a hunch that he gathers it might have been me, who rang him up, but, mate he wasn't like Lyle then,,but I was treating him like a mummys boy, because he is too shy to leave him home, but I heard that he might've moved out when I rang him up,,  I the hell would I know, we don't see much of each other much, you see, jt's nice to live on our own, but you should still go to bed when your tired, and you should make new friends,, and yes, you should talk about cooler things than just about people, but really, we just don't really want you to tell us your life story, but if you a creative keep it up, we're adults now, your cool


Sent from my iPhone

Twas the night before Christmas
and all thru the house,
not a creature was stirring
not even a mouse

The Stockings were, up and the Chimney was swept,
The kids are in bed, snoozing, with presents abd candy swimming in their heads

Mom and dad are in the master bedroom
Mom wakes up, she gets some water, quick to sleep soon.
but suddenly a bump rang out on the roof
which sounded like a certain 175 pound hoof

Mom remained silent, she didn't know what to do
Suddenly a bag slammed with a thud, at the entrance to the flue
She was frozen in excitement, SANTA VISTING MY HOUSE?!* she really was shaken, like a broke Mickey mouse.

Santa came into the room, his good nature almost visible
"Don't be afraid, dear lady I've come bringing joy and even though you have kids you still get a toy!"
"But I'm 36 what could I possibly miss? I had dolls, a wagon, unless there's something else I forget!"

Santa looked at her and gave a grin,
"Ma'am, my elves out in the field learn all things kept within"
At this she looked intrigued, what could Santa mean?
That's when she blushed red, but on the inside she felt green,
she felt her clothes ripping off at the seams

Santa gave a grin, almost looking insane,
now here's your gift ma'am, your own personal candy cane!

am at the rainbow and to my surprise the cooking group has been cancelled
Oh what a shame dear god desr fella
You see it's enough to drive you completely bonkers because I am having thoughts of when I cooked at the rainbow and it gone all crazy
You see I am a bit crazy thinking it is a job and all but I want to rid all the horrible teasing from my brain and the cooking group would have been a good thing to do today because it would have given me the thoughts that I had in 2003 when I was well and another's thing too
I would have felt better in the process
It is not my cup of tea to be like these people here because they are crazy abd stupid and I want a chance to be the best of my ability
I know this looks weird but I just enjoy sitting in the nice peaceful room
You see I wavt to open or work at a homeless shelter where I can help the homeless get a hot meal and I want to start up pool competitions between the poor people of this community
You see they are suffering every day
And some of the workers don't give a rats *** about what happens to the poor all because they are very lazy
But I think they need to be given a break because they have problems
Abd as long as are looked after they will
Be alright

Fragile soul
Fragile

Soft crystal sobs
Soft crystal love

Pure romance
Soft sweet lips
Yet, the savior of the lips
Was bitter

She gave him roses
And as a return she got the thorns
She gave him meat and as a return she got the bones

Standing in a field cover up in white flowers
Gently holding the only red rose

What else can be red?
If she is surrounded by white roses

Looking at all the thorns
She holds them tight
Till the thorns cut her open

The blood is dripping
While she runs around the white field
Abd covers the white roses in red blood

Till she gets pale
For the last time she smiles
And whispers

"Finally the roses are red..."
Then collapses and for the last time she takes a look at the red rose that he gave her

The clouds danced,
Conjuring winds of destruction.
That blew across the wastelands.

Dark skies,
Ebony abd silver hues of light.
Rolling thunder,
Within the eye.
Of the storm.

They were powerful back in the day,
That day of the destructing man.

Magnitudes of power,
Rapidly increasing.
This a dark day,
For thee.

Beware thee eye,
Sense your demise and dance,
Until heavens cry.

brian gets captured, and then cam dan into the psych ward




you see brian and dan were 2 mates who stuck by each other, not in the fighting

way, but brian would let dan into his house, because he was too scared of what is going to happen to him

if he stayed where he lives, and brian and dan used to joke around about bombing every city

in the world, brian said, no, we don’t wanr to but dan was so much feeling sick, he wanted to

bomb every city in the world and ron bought dan into his HDU, and put him on an injection of risperidal

and some ****** to calm his nerves, but it’s hard to calm his nerves when as he slept, some of the inmates

attempted to burn him in his sleep and when he told the nurses they gave him some more ****** thinking

that he was too paranoid to know the truth and ron came up to dan to make sure he was alright

abd dan said ya know people are trying to burn me in my sleep and you fucken quacks don’t believe me

and ron said, if these people are trying to burn you, there will be ashes on the sheets, and dan said

i said they tried to burn me, i got up and told them to ******* and they did, but this has been going on all night

and ron said we must keep an eye on dan at night, because his problem is, he is just suffering from paranyoa

and we should get him home because i don’t think he is a threat to himself or others, he just wants to be protected

and he won’t get it in here and dan swore saying you fucken 2 faced ***** and he went home to ring up brian to see

if he could sleep there because he was getting paranoid that his neighbours were going to punch him and

brian invited him over and they still joked around about bombing USA, even though  brian still said no you don;t really want to do that

because remember the innocent people and brian’s head was messed up with dans negative thoughts he threw all his stuff over the

his balcony and while he was doing that, he heard voices saying, there is no way that your friend will have your thoughts because

he was only a kid when you a young adult, and brian, as he threw everything, he felt he was being driven to the sky by a spaceship

and then as he got to the top, these heavies came into his house and said, buddy, settle down, and then they phoned the police to

come over and brian was driven by police to ron’s HDU, and he still heard the voice, your matte isn’t the messiah, because he was only a kid

when you were a young adult and as soon as brian entered the HDU, a teenage girl was jabbing brian with a plastic fork and there was

a bikie from the rebels saying he is being held there against his will and charlie chaplin said  i put on a show for new years, and i love being here

and patty roe, who believes he was george washington spoke tp him saying, when i was president we didn’t have right wing governments

and brian really got on with those people but brian didn’t like the pheados that were under high security and ron had a good chat with brian

but still ron wanted to keep him on seroquel and start him on eppelim and these medications were being worked together to calm the delusions

even if brian believed the delusions, which he does, they still need to be calmed because some of the patients were ****** sick of brian’s talking

and then dan wanted to talk to brian, so he rang up the HDU and pretended to be brian’s brother so he could talk to him and brian felt scared of a few

of the rougher inmates but tried keep silent so he doesn’t get bashed by them, he just spoke to charlie and patty roe because they were 2 people

who are just in there because of their delusions and ron bought out the dinners and in 1 hour he bought out the medications and after that he clocked off

and went home to watch the cricket, Australia v England, and the next day, he had his breakfast in his usual place and then he clocked on into his HDU

and had a good conversation with charlie and then spoke to brian and there was a USA flag on TV, and brian said, george washington has been reborn

and ron asked, why would this mean that, and brian said, george washington needs to get out of here so he could go to the LODGE and patty said

yeah that’s right, i need to get released, because malcolm turn bull is doing a **** job and he needs to learn the old left wing ways and ron said, sorry

brian and patty roe, george washington is dead, ok and you need to understand that we are trying protect the people outside from both of your delusions ok

because, even though i think you ain’t dangerous, your actions seem dangerous and ron bought out the breakfasts and the morning medications and had a

laugh with patty roe and then after that bought brian and patty roe to the art group and then over to the delusion group and at night ron bought out the dinners

and the evening medications and clocked off and bought a pizza and went home to watch more cricket, GO AUSTRALIA he said, eating pizza

What is it that you do to me that makes me gone for three
Could it be your touch the smoothes my pain or could it be your smile that steals my heart
What beauty is before my eyes that is unlimited by pains or cries with a little that benefits a queen
Sweet baby your so fine
So sweet than sweet wine
Can I touch you and make you mine
For I want to love you till the end of time
But if the love I feel is a sin may I be commited to eternity of pain for I cannot live if thy doesn't bring the love I nedd to breath again abd again
What is it that I feel so strong. That feels to good to be wrong that makes me certain that you and I were meant to be to together for all eternity