Goodbye goodbye
I commited the crime
I had a try
But I just cry
Not worth a dime
So I die
its my time
Goodbye goodbye

I’m always hungry,
so I’m always eating,
and I’m always growing,
even though I can always hear the wind whistling
around my chest,
cold lashes that escape when I open my mouth,
freeze the air when I try to speak.
So I tell myself,
“One more slice of cake,
on a lonely Sunday,
surely can’t hurt”,
right?
I wait for a reply,
from the empty room,
but I’m already licking
the crumbs off my fingers.
I want to
gorge
on happiness,
drink down mugs
of sweet nothings
that will make my heart stretch
instead of my stomach.
God knows,
I have enough room
in this swollen rib cage.

I wish the world was
blind,
so that somebody could finally
see me.

Living the teenage dream,
Although everything is not as it may seem.
I don't really want to be pedantic,
But let's make this a matter of semantics.

Come on, give this dog a bone,
Because nobody truly wants to be alone.
In the past, I always wanted to fit in,
No matter the cost, no matter the sin.

However, with this new beginning of mine,
I'm sure that I'll make it just fine.

Notice the way I change when you enter the room.
Notice the way you make my lips curl into a smile when you speak to me.
Notice the way your face reflects so handsomely in my brown eyes.
Notice the way my body shudders beneath your touch.
Notice the way I taste on your lips, lust and desire.
Notice the way that I can’t live without you.

Notice the way I change when you leave.
Notice the way I have no smiles left, only frowns.
Notice the way you can’t see a thing through my glassy eyes.
Notice the way that my hip bones poke through my tee shirt.
Notice the way my lips chap and bleed when you kiss me.
Notice the way that I’m dying without you.

Dear God,
Scare me today
Scare me tomorrow,
Take my soul
And let go this sorrow.
Then fill me up
with a brave new light,
with a stronger hope
and a stronger might,
Put me in the darkest night
and give me a final
battle to fight!

My throat hurts
from screaming silently
in crowded rooms,
and my face aches
from smiling
far too much.
But still
nobody hears
and still
people ask
"Why the long face?",
even though
I made extra sure
to laugh
at all the right moments.
How do I explain
that my heart
feels like it's trapped in a vice,
that my eyes are so very tired
from constantly blinking back oceans?
I can't.
One more smile,
that almost makes my cheeks
crack,
and an
"I'm fine"
will do
instead.