This dim haven of the past,
Covered in cloth,
Like tired children playing ghosts
On Halloween
You won't be there.
Nor Christmas,
Or New Year's ever again.
But this dusty room will serve
As a coffin for your memory.
That chair and lumpy sofa
Will haunt me more than a spirit could--
With its raw physicality,
Thinly veiled
With greying sheets.

I love you
Long after your last breath.

I crave the closeness of fear
In my fingertips
When they type your name.

You who are more and less
Than words
On a vacant screen.

The danger of sharing
My failings
To no one but the world.

My mouth is too dull and large
For the sharpness you require
To unravel your form.

I am your benefactor and bruise
I cannot turn from you
Or risk my life.

There is too much sorrow
And joy in you
To ever let you go.

But the doctor says I'm wrong...

Crossing this path for the third time. God, I hope it's the last.
Sometimes I wish I knew what was in your mind.
Other times I just laugh.

Bethany, we have such a hard history. Childhood was a brawl.
I wish I had more compassion for you.
We were both so small.

Now here we are for the third time; oh what a shameful act.
Is it that we have too much pride?
Or perhaps it's a lack.

Oh, the horrors of family relations.
Oh, the binds that wound our salvation.
Oh, the lack of any sense.
Oh, the death of innocence.

Back at church camp, we did not know. We were caught unawares.
I ****** his **** (I had never before).
He kissed you on your nose.

I hear now he's engaged to a girl. I guess you won in the end.
But we both lost so much dignity.
He's still my Facebook friend.

Oh, we were so gullible.
Oh, it felt so horrible.
Oh, the lack of any sense.
Oh, the death of innocence.

Score number two was my fault, I guess. I loved him very well.
In middle school he called you his girl.
Now we're all going to Hell.

But in my defense, he was my first kiss.
He might have been yours as well.
I'm sorry, my sister, for liking his hair, and all the lies I tell.

Oh, now I've gone and hurted myself.
Oh, I can never ask for your help.
Oh, the lack of any sense.
Oh, the death of innocence.

Three days ago I discovered the third, which you confirmed in a text.
Did it have to be with my Paris love?
It was the first time I had ***.

Still, I win. If anyone can.
You'll date him in Ohio. It's mean to say, but it's the truth.
You're just his beard and a smile.

I want to say this, little sis. I wish that we could be friends.
But secrets breed secrets, which breed some more.
And we all die in the end.

Time stole so much from us
Don't think I could forget
The way you wreathed and swayed
While dancing in my bed

I think of decades in my future
When I revisit you in dreams
And seek to find your face
On my Apple spy machine

It's a special kind of sadness
To know that she won't be a he
And I'll always sadly wonder
If I ever could compete

And while I'm glad you're happy
In this distant future sleep
I'll be angry that I let you go
And even moreso that I creeped

If the world was right
And all was just,
Our souls would be conjoined
Without any choice of freedom.

For what good is freedom
When feet must leave,
And lips must part,
And hands grasp only to let go?

The earth spins 'round
And orbits and tilts.
The winds whip and continents shift
And nothing is ever still.

The universe itself is locked
In a rush toward infinite expansion
'Til one day every atom will subside,
And all will freeze alone.

What good is freedom?
What good is Earth?
What good is this whole ******* cosmos
If leaving is all there is??

I do not want to move.
I do not want to walk or speak
Or disconnect your hands from mine.
I will be totally still.

But it is not enough.
The **** universe conspires
To draw us to our knees,
And wish for one more hour

Just. Like. This.