you spend your life smiling. sleeping. unfeeling.
you dream away the days without notice
you think yourself out of reality

and then
just for a moment
you don't

you discover the rich desire of being wanted
and you crave that **** carnal curse
and you let him in and you let yourself out

suddenly
you stand there
exposed

and you can never ever ever go back.

Slither away from me, my love
Run and hide and slink

Your yellowish eyes
Cool under the rock or couch
From which you perch

And never say a single word

Climb the stairs, quickly
While I'm at the door

Come down for dinner
And nothing else

Be cold and silent
And maybe I'll forget you

A manifestation
Of what we have lost

I remember when touching you seemed impossible. When kissing you seemed the most exotic thing in the world. As if "no" was a dare I couldn't refuse.

And I couldn't refuse it nor could you.

But now we're here and I'm lost and I've found you. Found you to be something else. Unexpected even for you.

And I can't pretend I haven't seen you. I can't.

There is no truth but alcohol. It's all we know. It's shed your skin. It's shown me flesh.

And I cannot return. Cannot return. Cannot not stop knowing you.

Rust splinters off my fingers
As I once again grasp
For that most sacred and desperate
Solution.  Salve.  Serenity.
My poems are cracked with feeling
I am longing and needing.
Needing to be heard again
And to hear myself remembering
That most ancient, intrinsic
Scream. Scorn. Salutation.
It says hello to me again,
And threatens to destroy me.

We are hidden in public.
Safe for maybe the first time.
Away from home and friends and ties.
And you say my eyes are beautiful.
No one else has ever noticed.
I think yours are sweet like a honeycomb,
But I'm not brave enough to say that yet.
I am brave enough to kiss you,
But you beat me to it. Again and again.
You're all over me.
Are you the victim or am I?
I think both. And then neither.
And then me again.
But you say the deepest words
Flushed with Patron and sincerity.
You say you love me.
I'm compelled to say it back.
I do again and again and again.
You say it more, but that's not all.
You say you would kiss me every day
I almost want that to be true.
I almost want this all to be real.
But all crowds part eventually,
And soon we will be home.
We will be found.
And the honeymoon will be over.