some fools talk of giving
one perfect rose
what utter nonsense and stupidity
if the rose were perfect
would it open, then wither, then die
as the feelings we shared bloomed only to wilt?
would the thorns draw the blood from my hand
as my love for you draws the blood from my heart?
would each rose be different and unevenly shaded
as the days we have spent together
each one varied and precious in its own way?
the perfect rose exists only in imagination
perfumed with chemicals
so the smell is the same day after day
if roses were perfect they would mean
nothing at all

Hey:) Are you okay?

Persuade me.
Tell me not to go.
Give me a reason to live.
please
Give me a sign,
anything.
Show me that you care.
Tell me I'm worth it.
I'm withering.
I just don't know anymore.

I'm fine. It's nothing :D

Oh My Gosh ------! You got an A for the test again!
You're worthless
You have really pretty eyes!
You're so ugly. My eyes are bleeding
I love your figure!
Fat slop
You're so smart!
You stupid fool

I hate you
I hate you, no one likes you.
Die in a hole
**** yourself
*****
*****
****
Attention Seeker
Stupid
**** YOURSELF
I'm dying, can't you see?

we are connected
one in the same
unified by an invisible force field of nothing
nothing tangible
nothing visible
but it is there
I just know

maybe by love
maybe by hate
maybe by that look in your eyes
when you stare into mine
and I see the world
all for me

I am overwhelmed
by so much love
I could sing solo
or go tell a stranger
or just lay here and cry
and realize I've never been
this much loved before

yet my heart is empty
I say forever
or something. whatever.
but how can you really
trust an 18 year old?

and the force field?
it is still invisible
nada
...*thy nada come
thy nada done
on nada as it is in nada
Amen.

I have a habit of packing a labyrinth in the back of my hippocampus,maintaining balance,like coasting through ocean,its outlandish.I'm on the tangent of ravenous madness complete with calculus captiousness capturing the effect of parabolic randomness.Long story short,I'm just dramatically imagining,I think my genius is overactive again.Calamitous analysis compatible with harzardous pathogens passing through passages to the abucus of antagonists,but its backwards,shhh.

The Perfect Gentleman


                      Kind.         Caring.         Affectionate


            Reassuring.                         Secure

    

                   Above all, Honest (to no one)

An ever present voice on the phone
   Two strands away from truth.

You love me even though I am broken and scarred, not because.
(And that has made all the difference)
You have shown up in your alabaster skin, taut and shaking ready to take on my past demons
Not because they are yours, or similar but because you can't feel me shaking anymore without shaking yourself
(And that has made all the difference)
Your green eyes hold a steel core, mighty as your too large hands,
Never ready to strike me, only ready to move me away from the battle
(And that has made all the difference)
I admire you because you have enveloped me into your soul even though mine is black, not because.
And that has made all the difference.

So you know
You're all that I wanted
I don't know why you'd wanna hold out

Make up you mind
And love me or leave me
But don't keep me tethered while you think it out
Its driving me crazy

I can't wait anymore
Can't keep myself sane anymore  
It's hard without you
But harder when it's not for sure

I can't wait anymore
I fantasize you crashing through my door
telling me you feel the same
What are you waiting for   

I want you to call
But I know when you do
I'm not the first one that you turn to

It's the same old scheme
You'll get what you need
I'll give in again and I won't hear from you
Its driving me crazy

I can't wait anymore
Can't keep myself sane anymore  
It's hard without you
But harder when it's not for sure

I can't wait anymore
I fantasize you crashing through my door
telling me you feel the same
What are you waiting for  

Of course I don't want you to go
But getting half of you is making it worse
So give in or let go

Something's gotta give. Its wrong...
To hang in the balance so long
At least I could move on

Tonight, I saw a couple,
sitting  on the bus.  

They were holding hands
and looking at each other
in that way
that couples do.  

Looking at them...

you could just tell.

Afterwards, I saw
another couple on the train.

She sat sideways next to him,
her legs over his.  
They talked in low voices,
stealing little kisses from each other
during the pauses
in their whispers.

Looking at them...

you could just tell.

And I wonder
when you sit next to me,
your hand entwined in mine,
drinking your tea
and looking out the window

if someone were to
see MY face in that moment...

could they just tell?

I had forgotten to change the photo.
as she was about to snap a ridiculous picture
of me,
she just stopped and stared
at my phone-
My ex-girlfriend
whom I hadn't heard from in three months
was calling
the caller-ID was an old image
of her posing in **** lingerie-

I had forgotten to change the photo.