I remember I was shivering
when you told me
death was near.
No hurricane came,
no tornado burst in,
nothing.
Nothing changed,
all except that you were gone.

The bull began to tear me apart inside
bit by bit with its horns,
delirious,
I guess you messed with the bull inside me,
and I finally got the horns.

But I know that at least,
when you're up there,
you'll be able to laugh more freely,
to smile a bit more.

I'm still not used to
you not being here
and letting me know how awesome you are
and using present tense.
Your still here.
Your not gone yet.
I refuse to acknowledge the corpse,
'cause really you haven't left no matter what they say.

And i know for a fact
all those selfish *******
will now come back
and “cry” for you,
to pretend they liked you,
give you even more unrest
as you roll around trying to get the peace u deserve.

such a right day to do things,
on such a dreary, rainy day
a day you would love
but everyone would hate…
you decided to troll us all
and leave on such a ripe day,
the best day.
a day you would love,
but everyone would hate…

im still shivering.
of the news or the cold that suddenly waft in,
im not sure.

maybe if i talked to you sooner...

in the death of a forest,
in the ashes rises a new one,
a meadow forms, strong,
filled with larks,
and the horror that once was
is gone,
but no, that's not true...
it still lives inside each and every being there...
its just...
there...
always there....

happy- no, happy is too dull of a word- blissful birthday to you :D im so glad to be your friend in the flesh and blood and i do hope that you have the best year ever :) much better than last year with all the dark side and ******-face-blondie drama. ;) Sending you best wishes, and many thanx for always being there, especially when I need you the most! I love you! <3

How do you show your love
To the person of your dreams?
Words aren't enough,
And they are too far away.
What to do now?

Thanks for looking after me,
following me, looking for me,
when I needed you guys most,
when the demons came back to haunt me today...
There aren't enough words to express my gratitude
to my amazing friends.
No word or poem can do them enough justice.
Thank you:
-leelah
-Dani Chase
-unwritten
-Akumu
-Lotus Blue

Reality is a nightmare,
And my dreams have slowly been infested
With it.
Is there no rest for the wicked?
This pain,
This aching...
It never stops does it?

He came into my bedroom last night,
As I curled up,
Burrowed deep into the covers
Searching for his arms.
In my head were demons
Chasing little me around.
He came in.
He banished them away,
Tall, beautiful.
Mine.
Above me, he stared at me as I dreamt
Of his eyes,
That mesmerizing voice
Soothing my fear...
He stared one last time.
He leaned down,
And kissed me.
Supple, soft.
Endearingly, as if I was as fragile as I looked,
As if I would break.
He forgot everything I've been through
While I lay, vulnerable.
He kissed me anyways,
Those tender lips...
He took away all the shivers
And took me away to a land far away,
A safer place.

But he stood up, and walked out the door afterwards.
To go to his own safe place.
Somewhere no one could hurt him,
Somewhere no one would come for him.

He just forgot to take me with him.

Its the ones who care about you, not the ones that don't, who will last the longest.

I stole you and put you in a little cage
Inside my heart.
No,
It's not a prison,
(At least I hope not)
But when you hurt,
The cage inside my heart,
It feels it.
It feels your pain
And resonates it throughout the rest of me.

It hurts.
It hurts so ******* much.
A jolt of too much bad electricity gone wrong bursting to life flowing in and out of my veins,
Fire coursing through,
Burning me inside out,
And don't even get me started on what happens on the outside.

Cause on the outside baby,
That's where it hits hardest.

It's this pain that will cause me to wail,
Toss my head back in agony,
And to scream like a banshee.

But that's beside the point.

Just...
Stay safe.
I care.
It hurts.

It's too late to care.

When will you get it through your head
That not everyone wants to be your girlfriend?
That not everyone loves you,
And most of all,
There's a difference between
****** relationships,
Friends,
And Family?

When we love someone,
we'll do crazy things,
even hurt yourself
if it means they'll prosper.

Maybe it was me,
that I was too late in fixing our problems.
Maybe it was me,
that I didn't know how to love myself
to fix myself,
before I could ever hope of loving you.

But.
Maybe it was you too.
Maybe it was you,
in your stressed out ways,
your lack of time,
and your incompetence.

...Maybe it was you too.
Not just me.

I shouldn't care, but I do.
And I guess that's what hurts most...
I'm spinning around in circles
And I feel like that circle ends in walls
And I keep falling down and collapsing in agony and pain and misery
As I feel around for something to pull myself up on
I can't i can't I can't find anything
And I've given up,
I'm just gonna lay here on the floor
And stare at the ceiling.

It's too late for anything now
To patch it all up
Make sure every one is happy

It's just too late

I'm too far gone to be saved and I don't know if I want to be saved.

Hey guys,
its been awhile. Things have changed
for me
things arent the same as they were
just only a few months ago
when I was staggering and stumbling
around
trying to figure my way through

I've finally found myself
found the things ive been looking for all along
to feel loved to be loved
to find friends and family amongst thieves and beggars

Ive really hit the gold guys
and im so thankful for all of hellopoetry because you guys all helped me
through my toughest days
and supported me throughout.
it was here that I met my best friends
and my boyfriend,
it was here that I got to meet amazing people and amazing works.
I am grateful.

Is it selfish
To want all your attention and time
And to want to be fully and completely loved?
Hah.
Love me so well,
Be so good to me...
I'll get used to the good life and always want more and more.
The withdrawal hurts,
You were my addiction and now you're gone.

Each thought pierces and penetrates
My heart,
Causing irratic thumping,
Loud sighs,
Quick skipping.
I still smile,
Even through the pain.
With all the pain that comes
With all those fond memories,
Each and everyone
Reminds me the bond
Between you and I,
Everything we've been through,
And reminds me to smile.

I have lost all ability to
tell you how much I really do like you,
the way drone bees are attracted to queen bees,
and to tell you how I would
drown in depths of despair-

WAIT WAIT WAIT A MINUTE HERE THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG HERE. THIS JUST CAN'T BE ANOTHER SAPPY LOVE POEM, LIKE EVERY OTHER ONE WRITTEN BY LOVE-STRUCK TEENAGERS.

So here's my start over,
for the things that matter most,
even more than love, because in the end love will just **** you anyways.

Friends-
the rubber-bands in your life that will always come back to you no matter how hard you push them away.
the teddy bear who you can whisper secrets to at night, the one that you hug tight as you cry and cry and cry.
the sprinkles of sugar in my ******* up life
and basically the only thing keeping me alive and my **** together. :D thanx you guys ;)

Family-
like a flu shot- annoying as heck but usually good for you in the end.

AND LASTLY CAUSE I MUST PRAISE THIS (im sorry this doesnt concern you)

Manga/Anime-
for being written and keeping me company at the worst of times and guiding me. you are basically da bae, such a good friend -tear- i can always count on you.

AND THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING, ALL THE BAD THINGS AND GOOD THINGS IN THIS WORLD REGARDLESS yes even you

...
Its hard for a butterfly to fly
With only one wing
Flapping so hard,
The other half broken
And flapping just barely.

It'll only go so far.

Hey, so I don't know if you guys knew the amazing poet, "No one you care about,"(I cared) but he recently deleted his account. Why? That's not for me to say. But I would like you guys to know that he is okay, just going through sone rough times and is currently recovering ^^ so um... yea. :)
-creep
P.S. he's hella kind and awesome to talk to :) anyone who met him was very lucky ^^

Don't go around hugging
All my friends
Get them to
Stare at you with wide,
Innocent eyes
As you sashay away
Leaving them awestruck,
Then turn around innocently
To see them fight
And be confused.

Cause if your gonna turn all my friends against each other,
Ruin everything I live for,
Then ***** gonna go down.

It's the old mean girls who will fade away someday.

It seems that you thought it was all just a summer fling.
Well you were wrong.
It was everything to me.

"Are you okay?"
"Yeah I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
"No. But you should know enough about me to know what's bothering me."

And then there are those times when I just want everyone
to pity me
and feel my orb of pain and sorrow that surrounds me.

Those moments
when you just want to feel
loved once more.

No matter what you think
What you believe,
Know that I love you.
It rings true through the once empty
Corridors of my heart.
Even if the demons follow you around
Whispering lies into your hearts,
Even if I don't remind you,
Know that I DO.
I LOVE YOU.

But what of the young girl
Confused and clear minded?
She'd all but given it her all
Gave the world all she had to give,
Conforming to society's
Ideals ,
Tried as she might,
But never enough.

Until she had enough.
She shattered the glass walls surrounding her,
Broke through amidst all the fumes
And the heartbreak,
Escaping into the sullen night.
Now she runs
Sprinting delicately through the dark,
Tendrils of light illuminating through her dashes
Never stopping for anyone or anything.
Nothing stops her,
Nor does she stop for anything.
She is all alone,
Taking comfort with the other shadows.
But that's all she needs
All she cares about.

Let nothing stop her
From loving
And daring to be
Herself.

Two words:
****. You.
I do not stand to put up with *******.
I will be empathetic, sure, that's just who I am.
But I will not take your utter ****.

Make up your mind!
Do you want to cry
Or would you like to smile?
I prefer the smile,
It literally brightens up the whole day
And makes everyone happy.
We love it when you smile,
So please do.
Show us your love,
Don't hide behind the clouds,
We miss you...

How can I be at peace when you're not around?

How has the world come to that suicide,
Had become a popular hashtag used?
Is suicide so popular?

I am in a circle of agony.

As I venture out, I am forever drawn into the center,
centrifugal forces area lie--
I can never seem to flee, but I am rather so attracted
to that pinpoint of melancholy
that seems to resonate with me
too much to be healthy,
too much to make sense.

As I look back at our mess,
the storm we created,
the whirlwind of excitement
and pain and hurt and toxicity
(but the love was there)
all I see now are a mumble of black and red,
the words mixed and blurred,
the meaning nixed.

It is in this chaos,
I feel safe.

The things that I looked forward to,
The necessities in life,
The things that make it okay to live,
Gone.
The things keeping me alive,
They left me behind.
The ones still here,
Taken away.

An uproar around the station
filled the air,
plummeting all the death that stank the room,
and killed all that had seem to
be ****** and murderous all before.

The smiles that broke onto their faces,
and the shattering applause that
Enveloped the room
only further heightened the joy that seemed to permeate the room,
striking all the sorrows at heart
with nothing but a simple smile.

I thought I had a friend.
It left me too.

It's too cold...
I can't breathe...
I am drowning...

Back and forth it keeps going
the silence just stretches on
none the wiser to start talking
no one wanting too
everyone too scared
both too angry
too bitter
too... sad.

I miss you.

You ripped my heart out of my hand just as I was about to give it to you.
It wasn't quite ready to be given away yet.

It was tired of being shoved around and hurt without a thought
Tired and forgotten, it lost its true meaning:
To love and be loved.

It loved and loved and loved,
It oozed it out.
Everyone took it for granted,
Always wanting more and more of the sticky ambrosia.
But it will never be enough, huh?
It will never be enough...

So they kept taking.
They gave nothing back,
Until all it was was a shriveled up thing that longed for love and affection,
Still guzzling out too much love
And always getting shoved around and bruised and cut and scarred.

But you came around.
You shoved everyone back
And saw how my heart was dying.
You gave it life again,
Loved it and gave it purpose.
Thank you.
...
I just hope I'm strong enough to do the same for you.

Fairy tales never end.
Everyone just lives
"happily ever after,"
guess that
that means
we do too?

Do you remember
When the days were bright yellow
Evanescent with brightness
That made even the sun envious?

Do your remember when it started to
Dark to an orange, slowly into a red
The beautiful passionate crimson it was?

Do you remember when passion turned to
Purple and blue
Days when we were gone from each others
Embrace?

Do you remember when it all turned
Green laced with black and blue and yellow
A bruise hidden with strength?
Proof that we're alive and thriving
Hurting but only
Growing stronger?
Do you remember, my dear?

Only the giggles are exuberant
And the smiles spread wide.
She'll stand tall,
Somewhat indifferent,
Always there.
Too kind,
Always listening to us
Always there for us
As a friend,
As a shoulder to lean on,
Offering comfort all day
In boredom and in panic.
She'll always be around.

Until she won't.
And I swear,
When she's gone,
Gone too far,
Someone we never noticed before
Will suddenly come alife
As if a cannon strick us
And took away arms, legs,
And paralyzing us.
We'll finally realize,
But it'll be too late.

You make the devil look like an angel.

We were both
Lonely ******* in the night
Awaiting something
Anything to come by
So we can pounce and devour.
I crept by you,
Looking for something
Anything to talk to,
To know me as just simply
Me.
But you pounced first,
And I became your something
Anything,
And now here  I am,
With you as more than my
Something anything
But more like my
Everything.

We are more alike then you can ever imagine
But the thing with you and me,
The thing that seperates us
Is that I hide.
You show.

Your beauty, you radiate it in every smile,
Every wink to all the guys.
You've got beauty, power, and magic
At your finger tips
And you know it.
You use it for everything you want,
A queen.

My beauty, it's hidden under layers of hate,
With every rude comment thrown at everyone,
I've got hurt, pain, and *******'s
To give away like leaves on a tree in fall
And I know this.
I use it for everything I want,
A pitiful *****.

The thing about you and me,
I can be you easily,
And you can be me,
But I,
Understand this,
*I give no ***** what people think about me.

Things have gotten better
all the shadows disappeared,
despite all the light.

Maybe im just staring too hard into the light,
but i cant see the demons that often anymore
unless I seek them out.

Things are changing

I sit here in tomorrow,
as you lay there in yesterday.

I can tell you what's to come:
a broken glass,
some tears,
and too many tubs of ice cream.
Oh an the best thing of all:
a smile
that will surely come.

Why did you abandon me when I needed you most?