If I close my eyes long enough
I can pretend you're right next to me
And everything is alright.

Don't say goodbye,
I haven't even gotten over hello yet...

It never happened.

I'm worried.
It's starting again-- this is how it always
always
******* starts.
We get too busy,
I have things to do,
you have things to do,
it's all the same, it's okay.
Suddenly, I'm too far away,
it's too much of a hassle now,
and we won't have much time.
Next thing you know, days become
weeks
and weeks become
months,
and eventually
even though we were the greatest,
we have faded and
there is no we.

I guess I use this
To feel a little love sometimes...
So when this is taken away,
I am left with nothing but my empty carcass
That was once so full...

Because when the one you love,
The one that's most important in your life
Is taken away,
Ripped to shreds,
And given back to you,
You will first help sew him back together.

Then you torture whom did this to him.
And ****** them.
Slowly.

It's all pouring out of me,
My soul,
****** out by the demons.
They've finally got me.
I've finally surrendered.
It'll be better now,
No?
You'll be happier,
I promise.

I just want to steal you away and kiss you
'till you finally shut up...
to wrap myself inside you
so you can protect me,
and maybe I can give in to my addiction
to your scent and smile...

It's okay
for you to take my glass heart
Grab it from behind and
Hold it close and dearly
Then fling it across the room.

It's okay for
You to shake up my world
And block up my whole tunnel vision
View cause I was drunk on you.
For you to take everything and never
Give it back.

But it is not okay
For you to enchant her,
Enrapture her,
Then **** her
The way you did to me.
Don't hurt another helpless soul
That has fallen into your handsome
Abyss of obvious never ending doom.

They all said they wouldn't leave me.
They all did.

What hurts the most though,
Was the fact that
I'm not strong enough to fight for them.

my collection of sweaters keeps growing
each filled with adoration from ex-lovers
the way the cheap polyester would rub against
my bare skin
somehow reminding them that i
was theirs.

Too bad.
They forgot that I favor another sweater more--
that I wore it first,
that I am comfortable in my very own
skin
that I don't need their flimsy synthetics
to keep me warm on a cold and lonely night.

I once had this friend,
He would follow me every where I go
And reminded me
About what he saw in me,
Everything he thought about
Me.
Bad thoughts,
Good thoughts,
Mostly bad thoughts...
And he would taunt me
all day and all night.

One day, he left.
And once he left,
His echoes of words each
Left scars on my arms.
His slowly disappearing shadow,
Left me and my slowly disappearing life.
His gradually decreasing scratchy footsteps,
Left me nothing to hold onto,
Shook me down to nothing,
Where I stopped feeling,
And became oh so numb...
I fell.
And I haven't been able to get back up ever since.

Thanks a lot friend.

One minute you don't reply

I decide that I hate you.
And I kinda do.
You just stuffed my heart
with lies of you're feelings for me
all this time anyways...

Then I figure, nah I still love you.
You will always be in my heart.
You will reply later.
But, I'm just telling myself lies.

I hate that I fall so easily.
Just by the looks,
A comment,
A glance my way,
I'll swoon and fall
Under a deep spell that will
Surely drown me.

without you,
there's no point in trying.

When can I open my eyes
and finally see
what she sees in him?
When will I stop leaving a trail
of erratic corpses following me
wherever I go?

Do you regret the
emails you sent me?
The ones that made me fly above cloud nine and
get so happy?
When I would smile and burst with joy,
people expecting unicorns and rainbows and glitter to
just burst out of me from the way i was acting...
It was you who made me frail with want...
and undescribably giddy...
The only way to explain how i felt is by telling you that
its the feeling of being in love.

Now I just need to hope and pray that you won't break my heart too hard.

Weary of the blossoms that swirl before me
I shake my head,
Only to find serpents crawling out of mouths
And fireflies out of ears.
I shake my head once more and now,
I am drowning into an abyss of
Unicorns, rainbows, sparkles and everything nice...
This time I slap myself,
And I find myself in your arms...
Exactly where I want to be...
I close my eyes.

I can't feel anything right now.
I feel so... Heavy...
Will you take me away and make me
Free?

Why is it so easy to write about pain and sorrow,
and so hard to write about the good things, joy and bliss?

I don't know what love feels like.
Can someone show me?
Dreams aren't enough.

Don't sleep now,
live a bit longer.

Why can't I ******* be like everyone else?!?!

Because I don't want to.

My heads were in the clouds
     as I stumbled out of the car,
          and fell onto my knees,
               scrambling to get to you
                    as quickly as possible.
                         But I guess you will always fall
                              to the ground and hurt yourself

                                                                                      when you try.

Should I be crying,
bawling my eyes out, numb to the core?
'Cause I'm not.
My eyes are tired,
but nope, no tears.
My fingers are freezing,
but I can still feel the music pumping through me.

I asked you to pick
From two boys,
A real one
And a fake one.
You always picked the
Fake.

I was going to write a poem about you
and what you mean to me,
But then I remembered what you did to me,
And figured you weren't worth the trouble.

I don't talk much,
So I'm hoping I'll find someone who will talk for me
And know me enough
That I don't need to talk.

When will I be good enough?
Why do I try so hard for nothing?

My mind is always a far cry from sanity.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHRGHGHRGRHGRHRGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Will you let me go if I tell you I love you?
Or will you hold me even closer?

Preach me the secrets of eternal love and life.
Show me.

I want to know your secrets and
Hold you until you stop crying.