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It’s ******* exhausting.
Being one piece of a shitstorm so public,
So overarching, so demeaning, so vile.
To know,
But to not know,
When it’s your turn.
Your turn to feel the weight trickle down.
Or a ‘friend’ not care to learn the impact.
Fore we all burn.
“I don’t care how you were raised,
Unlearn that ****.”

Build a better life for yourself,
No matter how many lessons,
You go through along the way.

Maybe it’s the one where,
You lost someone that meant the most to you.
Maybe it’s the one where,
You felt like the only thing you could do
Was stand against the wall,
And try to catch your breath.
For how deep and engulfing it was
To feel the weight of the loss
Of someone so important.

But, you didn’t really feel
How deep that pain could go.
Maybe it’s the one where,
Your mom thought it was important,
To teach you how to hide from
The doorbell when it rang.
Maybe it’s the one where,
She wasn’t allowed to live with you
Because your dad wouldn’t let her
And you didn’t know why.
You were told that it was parent’s business,
And not for children to worry about.

You didn’t deserve that confusion,
And never being able to know
Exactly why your life was changing.
You didn’t deserve to be treated as less than
Or unworthy of knowing the truth.
You deserved so much more
Than what you were given.

So, maybe it’s time that you invest in yourself
And build a better life for yourself,
That inspires you,
That gives you passion,
That makes you think,
That motivates you,
That is complex,
That is a healthy challenge,
That educates you,
That tests you,
That lets you grow,
That grows with you,
And is worth the ride.
No matter how long it takes,
You deserve to live a life that you love. ❤️
From a Facebook post that got me thinking about self-authenticity and making sure that you are living a life that brings you value, hope, passion, and someday a love that lasts a lifetime. A healthy lasting type of love that honors the self, the pair, and the freedom to express yourself and be loved for who you are. A love that can take life together, no matter what happens. We are adaptable, resilient, reliant, strong, independent, deserving, intelligent, capable, and most of all worthy.
Wicked Bohemia Dec 2019
Once upon a neverworld, the lights shimmer down through the porthole into the damp abyss and bring life back to a distant memory of a dream. Breathing life back in to this solemn place where the clownfish struggle to tell a joke, the bottom eaters are frozen still, and the desolate skeleton bears no emotion. You reach in for a bountiful treasure and find that it was not the gold or dabloons as the stories implied. The treasure lies in the beauty of the lost souls found here, a dream crashed by fate and left as a reminder that even through darkest times and left in the darkest places our soul story will live on for centuries. So long as someone decides to turn the page.
12/5/2014
Wicked Bohemia Sep 2014
Am I caught up in a fairytale or nestled in a dream? At times its so hard to tell, I'm buried in between. This path is narrowed and the funds are tight, so how the **** do I have the right? Memories invade this secondary world I fought to make; karma's a ***** for ***** sake. How can a person like me deserve any of this ****? The plague infecting my mind, it only says r.i.p.
Wicked Bohemia Dec 2013
Surprise looked me in the eye, an instant rush,
One moment that was purely innocent.
Surprise swooned me into arms, bore open,
Multiple moments that were so naive.
Surprise betrayed me in the beginning,
In that moment, after years of artful diversions,
Surprise was forgiven.
---
This first love, puppy love, three years it took.
Three years it took me to realize what one song,
Spit in seconds less than just three minutes.
(non-poetic rant, just bear with me, too many concerned people on other sites)
I know now, despite every other outcome or possibility that my thoughts stirred up, that it never really mattered whether I truly forgave you or not, you knew that you had leverage over me because of how I felt for you. You knew that no matter what I did, however hard I tried to push you away, that if I got a call that you had been hurt or were going to end up being hurt that I would be there no matter what. That power was something that you used against me to keep me around. People may not have "magic" but they sure do have power. I made a mistake by staying involved with someone who would toy with my emotions, and it took me a **** long time to realize that I hadn't been thinking properly. It literally took removing myself entirely and then some time after that to really grasp everything that had happened between us. Although, that being finally said, I do not regret the fact that that had happened, and it wasn't entirely miserable. I learned a lot from you, about myself, the universe, and anything in between. I do not regret having done the unthinkable in forgiving you because I wouldn't have had that experience. I wish the best for you, and I will be a friend, but you have to understand why I cannot ever lose footing on my stance again, not with you at least. So for today, just let sleeping dogs lie and let guard dogs be. For tomorrow, one may not know for certain, but what I do know is that I don't want to worry about tomorrow until tomorrow.

Sincerely, a love that was never meant to be.
Wicked Bohemia Sep 2013
Say one more time the crown of beauty's dying. Without the shine the gown of beauty's wilting. 'Tis nothing fair a timid being. Fear not, stand tall against them halt from fleeing. Prove thy might young maiden now before ye bitter.

-----

Dear Restless, don't you know when you mess with the Mother it comes back twofold? Reckless actions masking your denial feeding her disapointment. Striving to get your way, darling, but you'll never be happy. One wrong move after another and she's coming for you baby one way or another.

-----

One day, one night, lost track, lost time. Standing alone I see all to be done, but lack ambition to clean the slate. Whereas, together I'm blinded and forgetful. Seconds pass, alright, but seconds build to minutes as a steady trickle builds to a stream. Soon enough I find myself trapped in a river. I can't escape, I'm caught in a current of disassociation. So what if I drown here? No, I want want more more. Every second a thought runs by and like the trickle turns into a dream. I feel that I think I can, but as I think this there's another stream building, the one that's pulling me back. As I'm drowning, the seconds tick..tick..tick. Just one strong lunge and I'm air bound to a new element, the one I was meant to survive in. Soon I will take a lungfull of that bountiful production the leaves breath for me. I will bask in the glorious light and love to be loved. Just one .. Strong .. Lunge.

-----

Just get on your feet and run, baby, run. Glance behind you once, no shame, twice and you'll lose your footing. I tripped when I tried to get out of misery, but I'm standing up now and tying those laces tight. Moral of these things is normally not to run anymore.. Not here, I intend to keep going.

-----

This road we travel on may some day bring us to our peace, but in the meantime we'll roam this place one offbeat path at a time. Join me on a magical adventure to nowhere and I swear you will never forget it. Peace, love, and wickedry shall set you free.
Wicked Bohemia Jul 2013
So sick,
sick of the torment
the shattered fragments
of words spit
from momentary rage.
So sick,
sick of the silence
the endless dialogue
running through my head
to find nobody around
to hear me out.
So sick,
sick of the lack of
nothing being enough
the void between where I am
and where I want to be.
So sick,
sick of the questions
the continuous banter
that means nothing.
So sick,
sick of the *******
the tiresome surface
which rarely divulges,
more.
I want more, more,
but wants shall not be received.
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