Sometimes I think
Spinning is the greatest pleasure
Of a world drowned by ink

Sometimes I know
That I have to stop pressing
At dead ends, those places where I shouldn't go

Sometimes I feel
As though simple words
Can heal

Sometimes I don't want them to close
I want to chase the end forever,
Wherever it goes

If love is like the wind,
Does it whip my hair
In front of my eyes,
Blinding me?
Or does it knock me
Down?

If love is like being drunk
Will it leave me
Searching for a foggy memory,
A distant mystery
That haunts me with a headache?

Sinking in deeper, drowning.
Smiles slip, glass falling from their fingers.
So much anger, but they're not even frowning...
So absurd that the smile almost lingers.

Flying is taking a fall
The wrong way
Losing it all
But wanting to stay

Crying out the tears
Is getting clean, taking a shower
It's having the power
To be seen, to overcome those fears

I'm five blocks
Stacked inside a hole
Pick me a part, block by block
Just don't go looking for a soul

I'm discarded paper
Secrets torn apart
So they could hide
Safely in my heart

I'm bullets in a gun
Crashing headfirst into everything
Tearing through myself
With just a dying sting

I am empty air
I am what they never see
I am, simply, me

So many days,
Years of moments collided.
Lifetimes
Spent spitting out words.
Like venom,
Like honey.

So many colors
And stars that fly across my vision.
Filling me up
And pouring between my teeth,
Broken from their dam.

So little time
Before it went grey
And rocks were crashing from the sky.
Before inspiration had left
And my pen seemed to always waste it's ink.

A prison without prisoners
A key without a lock
Me

I keep the gun without the bullets
I hold on without my fingers
I have the chest without a heart

There's no play, but I got the part
There's no song, but I have the lyrics
There's no love, but I can't hate you

A clam without a pearl
A fire without a flame
A world without me...

If he smiled just like you
If he only had a clue
Maybe I could love him too

Haven't said a word
But I've listened to it all
You were the only one I heard

If I'd said something not smothered in a code
If my eyes didn't drown themselves in you
My insides might explode

I can only hope that
Maybe if you knew
You could love me too

Tired and sleepy
aren't the same thing

Sleepy
is when he kisses her on the cheek
Tired
is when it's too much to speak

Sleepy
is when whispered in her ear
"sweet dreams my love"
Tired
is when she cried into her pillow
"he is my nightmare"

Tired and sleepy
aren't the same thing

"you look
like hell,"
he said,
the cigarette dangling
from his tanned fingers.
"you are hell,"
i whispered back,
my voice shaking
like the earthquake
that destroyed mexico.
the cigarette slipped
from his fingers
and fell to
the ground.
i quickly
crushed it with
the toe
of my boot,
looking up
at him
with challenging eyes.
"i gave you
everything,"
he growled,
his fists
clenched at his sides.
"you gave me
more bad
than good,"
i said,
and with that
received one of those
fists
at my nose.
i fell to
the floor,
blood pouring out
and gathering
in a puddle
by my face.
i lay there,
a motionless lump,
tears streaming
down my cheeks
as i am
kicked,
punched,
screamed at,
spat at.
there are chunks
of hair missing
from where he
ripped them
from my head.
bruises
and cuts
decorate my hole body
like a disturbed
christmas tree.
"apalogize
for what you said,"
he snarled,
his foot
dangerously close
to my
already bleeding face.
"i'm so sorry,"
i whispered,
the world a shade
of black
and white.
"i didn't
mean it."
he nodded
his head
slightly.
"tell me
you love me,"
he said,
an eyebrow
raised.
"i love you,"
i whimpered,
grabbing
his outstretched hand
and wincing
in pain
as he pulled me up.
"i love you too,"
he angled
my chin up
and pressed his lips
to mine,
then pulling away
suddenly and spitting
out some blood
from my mouth
with a chuckle.
he returned to kissing me.
didn't the bible say
the devil was
deceitful?