at night there is
a solitary street
lamp hanging
on top of a near
far hill

it sits above the
rest among
trees it must
illuminate
a hidden street

i'd like to go
to that street
and just feel
the earth feel
the world
that has grown
on that hill

and i will look
to where i saw
this light i am
now under

i wont be able
to see where
i was

nice college
girls yelling
*****
*****
***

knees on the
ground in this
dark basement
a stupidity test
oath of a blind

allegiance join
the cult drink
this beer or you
are gay conform
conform conform

sure i cried after
but not from the
half hearted
abuse cried
for them  

cried for the
part that
died the part
that didn't
want to call
them out to
leave early

the part that
was still a kid
the part that
could not care

they had no
control over
me that night
i killed me

the two
truck drivers
love each other

very much one
broke his body
the other had
her body
broken

every morning
dusty and
uncertain
each day
could be
the end

they live
together with
their new mom

nestled in a
cozy
*****
burned out
house in
the hood

going to bed
sirens blare
music blasts
babies cry

my eyes swell
shut from
dust mites

i am at home
i am at peace

colorless sun
squinting

a black face
dragging on
a cigarette

wrinkles of
1,000 lives
in his face

calloused hands
under gloves

dragging on
that cigarette

let me be
one of them
the wrinkles
moving with
that face

as leaves
blow away
by his feet

i am the home of me
of the drone
the right side ringing noise
pressed flush against silence

the half faces and not spaces
hiding from those eyes and mouths
peeking from behind me like
are they gone? are you gone?

there is a peanut can
filled with folded yellow paper
proof of happenings
and nothing has changed

i was created in the third person
i is not me
although it is easier that way
he laughs

the train flows past the lake
at night the reflection says more
than i can understand
a welling of wonder
of confusion of course

the voices just beyond doors
are never worth opening
it is best to use the peephole
to avoid certain people

home was never uphill
until now
now there's some mystery
always around the corner
and my friends are far
they are a magnifying glass

images fade
a reverse developer
nothing of my new
is now worth saving

once i looked down
at a beautiful valley
silent and empty
breathe in breath out
stumbling back to humanity
they thought i was a bear

the bike wasn't
there it was
stolen last night

a caldera
then collapse

there was
no bike there
was no any
thing

you become one with yourself
in a yoga class
with a basketball game happening
directly overhead
you feel at peace - at least
you are supposed to
with heavy eyes you walk out
loose and floating
you walk to the gym
and do bench press
bicep curls
tricep extensions
you are nothing if not
you are nothing without
you are nothing but
a predictable perfectionist
staring into your own eyes a million miles away
contradicting yourself
on a microsecond by microsecond basis
you eat a rice cake