Anxious to succeed but set up to fail
Gave his all always on call done with it all
Use to care got told all my flaws
Wasn't good enough always treated bad
Made it tough burnt out not fun anymore
The positive side still pursuing love and passion
Not you but my own person living my life
Writing takes the away the frustration
Let my negative blow away with the wind
Being me over the gunk and feeling unworthy
Loved my job but it's not what I want to be doing
Cleaned up my act trying to get motivated make a comeback
Tell my stories and create stopped because a fake friend knocked it put pressure on my skills made it feel wrong and *****.

I've been sleeping in odd places
next to a ***** blanket
on the floor of this cold apartment.
I get little sleep because my insomnia
keeps saying ridiculous ****
and its starting to scare me.

I find myself frozen when he asks me
Do you think you know yourself
He tells me I care too much about the answers
I tell him he isn't very good company.
He tells me I try too hard for others
that I'm only going to get my heart broken.
I tell him it's still worth it
He crawls closer to the couch
and impersonates my crying.

I've been sleeping in odd places
next to a confused womanizer
on the bed that can't stop squeaking.
They never look at me directly
they can't afford to find attachment
under these eyes of mine
when it's only the cuffing season

I've been sleeping in odd places
next to my anxiety
on the floor of my mind.  
I'm clutching onto these odd moments
like little snippets of my life
I'm trying to piece myself together
with all the bad that I have done

I, ripe
fruit,
a-wait dreams,
legends, storms~
In song, become
girl, with voice, hair,
lips, let me ex
press to you the welling,
welting of
the cardiovascular.
Precipice of a
smile, sultry swirl of
cloud before the
wet. Orange
skies cut to
red. Brok
en clocks because maybe without time they'll get here before I
wilt.

Absence doesn't always make the heart grow fonder
Sometimes it makes it forget
And what doesn't **** you doesn't always make you stronger
Sometimes it tears you apart with regret

This apartment should have had an empty room
Not that I should complain I don’t pay the rent
You were supposed to leave your living room
She asks “how can we make it here?”
I guess I cant answer that
I guess I cant answer anything
I suggest we leave and find another way
Just drive aimlessly and with a purpose
There is no where else for us to go
The car turns into my fathers driveway and we say our goodnights
This wasn’t supposed to end like this
Think I will light a smoke before I rest my head
Make my way to the deck and think about what I should have said
Wonder why I come home
Wonder why I leave so many things left unsaid
Not ready to close my eyes but not sure if I need another beer
So I decide to crack a cold one and think about all the years
That I never said a word and never let go of my fear
I know I am too late but I want this too be true
But Monday I will fly out of sight
Just a phone call but a memory slighted by your touch
And its hard to make a story when I’m a catastrophe
While you have too many dreams
Its best for me to lay down
Best for me to hear your words
She asks “how can we make it here?”
I ask myself how I have even had a chance to keep it real