It ***** that sometimes
no matter how much two
people try to sustain a relationship
whether they’re friends, family
or a couple
it will not work
because they’re too different
or they have different dreams
or they’re just tired of trying.

The excuses
that seem reasonable won and
it took over the relationship.

What’s sad is that two people
with so many memories together
just act like they have no memory at all,
like their relationship meant nothing..

Just sitting there helpless
what could I do?
I wanted to be selfless
and give my heart to you.

You laid there weak
with those sad eyes
how could I sleep
knowing you could die?

The pressure from your hand
suddenly wasn’t as strong,
the touch disappearing like sand
I wanted you to stay for so long.

You have suffered enough,
now it’s my turn to be tough.

You were once happy.
That smile so bright, priceless.
Faded as you grew.

Forgetting is scary
One day you remember everything,
favorite memories
people
books
music
and you try so hard not to forget
these things and people that mean so much
but then they just vanish from your mind , like they never existed
when it was once so cherished
and sometimes its not even your fault
and that's the most scariest thing.

Please don't forget me
I am too easily forgotten

Forgotten like a memory
When people create new ones.

Forgotten like fog when the sun clears up.

Remember me like how a
moon remembers to shine the
dark sky.

They say that the eyes
show through the soul
but when I look into yours
there’s nothing,
just an emotionless human being.

As if someone took your soul
and masked it with a black curtain
so no one can see through you.

Maybe that’s a good thing, because
if some people knew what was behind
it, they would be frightened by the truth and
their ignorance
which is…
you’re
not
perfect.

I should feel something
but I don't, I'm so used to
it that I am numb.

I wonder what it feels like to
succeed,
to prove someone
wrong.

To see the look on their face,
surprised.

To see all the doubters in
disbelief.

I want them to see the look of my
success
and their failure to bring me
D
o
w
n
.

We all create our own universe
to escape but I learned
that it just made me believe
that it was better than reality,
it was for a while but
it was just an allusion
to get me hooked.

My mind created monsters in my universe
that took every inch of innocence
every hope
every little happiness
I had of reality
because I was too caught up
in this world I thought was wonderful
but it was just a trap.

My mind has trapped me in
my own universe.

When people ask how I am
I usually reply truthfully.
But lately I realized I blurt that
I am good, I’m doing fine when
honestly I’m not doing okay.
I’m constantly so angry, so doubtful,
so impatient.
I just want to scream.
Yell
Punch
It makes me mad
that I’m lying to myself telling
people I’m “good”
because I’m not.

Maybe we change because that’s
the way it’s supposed to be.

Is it really our fault we change?

I mean we have people who
play with our hearts
and they play with our minds
like they’re games.

We have people who make us
better but leave, so we act
different.

Then we have events in our life
that traumatize us
so I ask again,
is it really our fault?

Saying goodbye isn’t the hard part.

The hard part is the after affect
where I finally realize that they’re gone,
out of my presence.

The hardest part is when I keep
wondering if they miss me as much as I
do and then I suddenly convince
myself that they don’t
because nobody
ever cares as much as I do
and I wish and hope that one day
someone will.

Oh, I really do hope
someday someone will…

People always leave
yet here I am
still getting attached
still surprised
still disappointed
and still haven't learned.

I have learned to accept
the freckles on my face that
people used to think were strange
for an Asian girl.

I have learned to accept the
flat nose that I inherited from
my dad that people used to make fun
of me for.

I am learning to accept my
thick bones that people mistaken for me being fat.

I have learned and accepted.
These things are a part of me.
The words that these people speak of
will just be words in the future because
I will EMBRACE my differences.

I need you but you could harm me,
like how people need water but they could drown in it.

Or how people need fire but it can burn all they have and **** them.

I need you but I'm afraid that if I need too much of you, you could destroy me as well.

But you will be worse than water or fire
because you won't **** me,
you will just suffocate and torture
my mind and I will be left with
broken pieces to pick up like when
a burglar invades a home.

Worst of all, I will be left with the
thought of you.

The person who destroyed
me.

Why do we always wait?
We just sit and do nothing
We always just debate,
if we should do something.

Oh, stupid, stupid girl.
How you believed that boy changed.
With his sweet words, you fell for him again.

But he didn’t change, he lied, and you
believed that he wanted you
but after he left, he put you in misery,
making you over think.
And that’s exactly what he wanted.
Stupid, stupid girl, how he had you fooled.

You are like a Piano,
you can be loud yet quite,
but if I sat down and learned
your language I would know that
you are beautiful both ways.
Loud but powerful and captivating,
quite yet intriguing and peaceful.
You speak with beautiful words,
people don’t know that
you’re shadowing those beautiful words with your pain.

She looked like a perfectly normal girl with lightbrown hair and dark brown eyes.
She walks down the street blending in with the crowd,
but people don’t see the things that go through her head.
In her head she is conflicted.
Conflicted whether her family loved her,
if they even cared but, why would they?
She was adopted at the age of four.
She was conflicted whether she should **** herself
because she felt like the black sheep in the family.
Conflicted whether she should eat because, she was a bit bigger.
One day, she wasn’t conflicted anymore.
She knew what she wanted so she put the gun through her head.
Her family found her in the bathroom but it was too late.
She left a note saying, “sorry I wasn’t enough.”
What she didn't know was that her family loved her,
they loved that she was different.
They loved the fact that she was a bit bigger because
she was still healthy and they admired that she didn’t care about her weight.
She was everything that they ever wanted.
In their eyes she was one of them, despite that they weren’t related.
They loved her, and now they were conflicted
whether or not they did enough.

She was daydreaming again,
and that was the most dangerous
thing she could do, but she
couldn’t help but be happy for
a minute or a two, she was desperate,
desperate to leave this so called
life of hers.

She daydreamed about the
noise in her house full of her
parents laughter instead of
angry voices, or silence because they
had nothing to say instead of
silence with tension.

She daydreamed about her sister
living past June because the doctors
say she will die soon.

She daydreamed that her brother would
stop drinking every night to numb the
the pain away because alcohol
doesn’t drain it away, it stays and drowns
you until you can’t breathe.

She daydreamed that she could leave
this so called life of hers.

When I was younger and I got hurt,
a kiss from my parents would
make the pain go away.
Now when I get hurt,
nothing can fix the aches
and pains in my heart.
No kiss can repair the damage
because emotional pain is
far worse than physical pain.
No kiss can repair the damage
because his kiss was the one
that made me fall
and break to pieces.